JustMiss

First let me start by saying I admire your courage to seek some help and advice. I know it's not always easy. I think you are not the only one that struggles with this sin. Our world is plagued with violence, porn, homosexualaity and a real careless attitude to have meaningless sex. The internet makes it so easy to fall into these types of sin. Honestly I think your wife could forgive you. I have been married for 19 years. I love my husband very much and if he came to me with this in a humble manner how could I not forgive him? I am sure it would stir up some insecurities of my own. That would be my own issues that him/I would have to work through. Ask God to put that degree of forgiveness and that degree of love and faith in you in your wife's heart. God never wants to see marriages fail. Sometimes things do have to get bad before they will get better. My wedding vows were for better or worse, in sickness and in health and so on.... Honestly I think you need to turn this over to God. God is so loving and so powerful and so just. It is Satan's grasp that has a hold of you. Sometimes I think the world gives too much power to Satan. He is nothing more then a fallen angel. God is all knowing, all powerful and most importantly, HE IS our ALL in All. Pray to God, ask for forgiveness. Stay humble. Start doing other things to occupy your time when you find yourself falling into a pattern of behavior that leads you falling. Simple prayers, Lord please grap ahold of me right now, I feel myself starting to slip...Lord clear my thoughts... Lord HELP. Everytime he clears your mind of the images of porn and the desires that follow, respond in thanks and praise. Scripture tells us God is faithful to us if put our trust in Him. This could honestly be a faith building time in your life. Struggling with a sin and realizing you are human and you need God's help and can't do it on your own is a powerful step in the right direction. Let this be between you and God. Let him be your All in All. Stay in constant prayer with Him and lead a life that makes you dependent on Him. I think as you do that and as you ask for that you'll find yourself more focus on the positive things you have going on in your life and less on the stress. Let 1 John 1:9 be a scripture you cling to. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Lean on God for your cleanse of your mind and spirit. Let Him send put the love and strength you need in your heart. Focus Focus Focus on God and let Him help you shut out the perversion of the world. As you focus more on Him and less of the stress then you'll find yourself in less of a need to turn to stress relievers. Keep you head up, You're not abnormal and you haven't devasted your marriage. God is more powerful then you and your mess ups. Let Him fix them and then move forward past it and leave it in the pass. Pray with out ceasing. God Bless!

This is not an easy situation. But I do remember the day I told my husband I was not in love with him. I remember telling him that I loved him but wasn't in love with him. I truly meant it. I felt almost dead inside. It was a very hopeless feeling and it was the hardest thing I had to tell him. I even told him that I felt trapped. Not that I wanted to go out or anything like that. I felt trapped as a mother and wife and constantly having so many demands put on me. I felt he was very unappreciated of anything that was done and I felt that nothing I did or the kids did were ever good enough. He was working a lot and so was I and going to school. He was snappy with the kids and I just hated being in the same room with him. I became very matter of fact about it actually. I think that was defense to try and shield myself. But I was not ready to give up on my marriage. He moved to a separate room. I enjoyed my space. We avoided each other and nothing was getting fixed. We had pushed each other to such extremes in our marriage that we literally had to start over. I held on for years trying to make our marriage work as he just got worse and worse. I finally just became closed off. Then he realized what the years has cost us and about to cost him. He began praying for our marriage. I did not. At that point I had the attitude, "if it works it works, if it don't I gave it my all".... and I believed that because I had loved him through some very awful years. The down talking the begrading. It took him probably almost a year or so of watching him change. He was open when we discussed things. He more importantly listened and heard me o ut. He had more patience with the kids. But I still stayed closed off. He would get upset and feel if I just lowered my wall and let him in everything would be ok. But the problem was, I had no feelings for him besides a dim light of hope. He was my friend and the father of my girls. I know this don't seem like a very hopeful post. But finally I was humbled and I realized that I couldn't fix my marriage and that my husband couldn't fix our marriage. My husband had been praying and we finally started praying as a family, then again together. Finally I just had to ask the Lord to help me forgive. That was the barrier. I told him I forgived him of things but there was still a wedge. THEN I had to ask the Lord to help me see my husband through His eyes. To help have Christ's love for my husband dwelling in me. I wanted to be able to talk with my husband and be convicted of things and have my tongue held of things and have that forgiving heart. Then I invited the Lord into our marriage. I had to complete surrender myself to God and let him put me and my husband and our marriage together. AND he did. This month we will be married 15 years. God is powerful and loving and faithful and will help if you ask him and allow him. I had to give into the fact that asking God for help then trying to fix it myself wasn't working. I had to ask him for help and allow him to help.

I'm not LDS but let me see if I can offer you a few words of hope. We may not understand why we are doing through hardships when they come or why they seem to drag out. I remember high school and it is a very difficult time in life. I honestly think the world is harder now then it was then. Gosh that makes me feel old. But keep this in mind. We live in a very broken sicken sin fill world and we have since sin entered the world. God never promised it would be easy only that he would go through it with us. God uses our trials and tribulations to mature us. He is the potter and we are the clay. And if you have every watched an actual potter making pottery on a wheel you would see how the clay is mashed and twisted as it is mold. Going through trials is never easy. It's hard. It's frustrating and a lot of times it's a test. God will use trials to test our love for Him. To see if through the midst of the storm you love Him enough to keep on praying and praising Him for the things that you do have. When you feel weak in faith, ask the Lord to give you that degree of faith you need to reach for Him and to hold out. The Lord is the author and finisher of our faith and he developes our faith through the experiences in life. When we pray and ask the Lord for help through a circumstance and He pulls us through it, our trust in Him grows. When our trust in Him grows, He then increases our faith. This verse is sometimes easier to understand in the NIV translation as well. Don't give up praying over it. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Ask for his comfort. Let him comfort you and then you will be able to comfort someone else through the love of Christ. I have had that heartache that made me want to give up. Sometimes it's the Lord's amazing way of making us draw closer to Him. I will keep you in my prayers! God Bless you!

Psalm 127 A song of ascents. Of Solomon. 1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to [a] those he loves. 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. This is the scripture that the quiver full comes from. Children are a blessing from God and blessed is the man whose quiver is full. I think God gives to people the amount of children He trust them with. I don't think this verse has to do with birth control. As my minister said once when announcing the birth of a new baby in our congregation and having the parents stand up. "Blessed is the young man who's quiver is full".... then he said, we all have different size quivers that hold different amounts of arrows. Then he chuckled and said that his only held two. I may be off topic but maybe I didn't really understand your question.

atta girl! lol

Learning to praise God in the storms of our life is hard. But it's when we can learn to do that we are showing and displaying such a great degree of faith. Every trial and tribulation we face is for our maturity in the Lord. I've always loved this song since it's come out. Not sure if many of you listen to christian contemporary music.

Here is what I could gather up This might help look at what Jesus said. Luke 24:44-45, "Now He said to them, 'These are My words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.' 45 Then He opened their minds to understand the Scriptures. " Jesus speaks about what is written regarding him in the Old Testament. Then John the apostle writes that Jesus opened their mind to understand the Scriptures. What Scriptures? The Law (Moses), the Prophets, and the Psalms. This was a common designation for the Old Testament. Therefore, Jesus says that the written form of the Old Testament is Scripture. Jesus never said the scriptures contain the word of God. He said they were the word of God. Therefore, we can see that the word of God is the written form of Scripture. In fact, we are told by Paul not to exceed what is written. Note, Paul doesn't say to not exceed the parts of the scripture that contain God's word, he says not to exceed what is written! 1 Cor. 4:6, "Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, that in us you might learn not to exceed what is written, in order that no one of you might become arrogant in behalf of one against the other." It is the written form that is proclaimed as being Scripture, unbreakable, the word of God, and the standard of which we are not to exceed. This can only be true, if the written form is the Word of God, not just something that subjectively contains the word of God. Also 2 Tim. 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

This is a very good topic! I think it's important for people to notice how much they have to be thankful for and to see how much God is working in their lives. - I'm thankful for the personal relationship I have with Jesus. - I'm thankful for Jesus and his selfless sacrafice of himself for my sins - I'm thankful that through him my sins are nailed to the cross and I face them no more - I'm thankful that through Him I can be counted as righteous in the sight of God - I'm thankful for the blessings He pours out on my family and I'm thankful for the tribulations as well. Life is hard at times and hurtful but I know that through our tribulations God matures us in Jesus. So even in the storms of life I try and remain thankful and look for God's hand working through it. - I'm thankful for my family and my girls and I'm thankful for their love of the Lord - I'm thankful that I can turn my problems over to the Lord and can be confident that He will handle them. I'm thankful that the veil was ripped in two and that we have a direct connection with the Lord. - I'm thankful for the healing He has given me, when the doctors could not figure out what was wrong. Honestly, I guess what it all comes down to is that I'm thankful for the Lord. He's my Savior, Redeemer, Counselor, Comforter, Healer, He's my all and all. God Bless!

Well either a bunch of women lied about being married to him or he has lied. I have read that talk to and he goes on about how people were trying to accuse him of things. The lds family search engine is either saying that the prophet lied by keeping all his wives listed as well as their other husbands or he really was married to several women.

Well not sure. I could say that he was sealed only to them and the marriages were never consumated, because that seems to be the answer I get from a lot of LDS members. But then I was also told that what I was taught for the reason of polygamy was invalid and incorrect. I was taught that it was so that the women that didn't have husbands would have a member of the priesthood in their home. I was told the "real" reason for polygamy was to raise up the righteous seed. Ok so then if the marriages were never consumated then how can you raise up the righteous seed? He was married to women that were already married according to the lds website and journals from some these women. Yes I know the lds church says that their journals aren't considered doctrine. But the church presses upon it's members how important it is to keep an accurate journal. I think Joseph Smith was taking advantage of his position and clearly going against his own revealation. What is your answer to that question?

Good question, do you have an answer?? So do you believe that he only had one wife??

I remember when I was a member hearing the saying that the first step to apostacy was researching the church history. I always found that puzzling. I think if you want to know about Joseph Smith's wives then you should go to the LDS.Org website, (Not anti Mormon) then go under the family search engine. Type in Joseph Smith 1805, He and several of His wives and His wives husbands all come up on the site. I could and accept polygamy the way it was taught. That their was not enough men for the amount of women. I could understand that HF would want a priesthood member in the household. BUT what I can't understand is why Joseph Smith would Marry women that were already Married? Makes no sense. Absoluetly none. Also, If you look at Herber C kimball, Joseph Smith and Brigham Young it looks as if they shared some wives. This clearly goes against D&C 132. If I remember right D&C 132 supports pural marriage and states that a man could have a lot of wives BUT that a woman could not be married to more then one man OR she would be committing adultry.

Amen very well put. :)

good post Willow. I enjoy reading your post. When a person committs to the Lord and asks for forgiveness. God is just faithful to forgive. But as you said, it's not a license to sin and I think most Christians know and understand this. There is a change that takes place when someone is truly saved. There is a conversion that takes place where sinful things that once seemed enjoyable aren't anymore. With all of us there is a growing process that takes place. Some God has to work on harder then others. But we have committed our lives to the Lord. He is in us. There is a surrendering that takes place. A submission that takes place in the heart. I was saved several years ago. And during that time since the Lord has been working on me. He has broken me down and humbled me over and over and built me back up. Each time strengthening me. Everytime I call on the Lord and he protects me , helps me, comforts me. My trust in Him grows and He increases my faith. He is a part of my life everyday all day. I have an intimate relationship with Him. He is in me, and for me. Having that, I know my salvation is secure. I can have confidence in that. I have humbled myself and turned my life over to Him. I know that I don't deserve the grace he gives. My life is no longer my own. The work I do is as a result of Him in my life and it's done to glorify Him. My eternal life has already begun and it will continue with Him and in Him. My life is a life of praise and worship to the one that gave up His own life so that I would have eternal life. When I die, the worship and praise will continue at the feet of His throne.

I don't teach such a thing I was saying that the above is a lie that satan would have us to believe. I think satan would want us to believe that we will be saved to the level of truth and righteousness each on embraces for him/herself. <<< It's false and yes therefore he would love if we believed it. One of satans goals is to get us to believe false teachings. So I'm sorry if I didn't make my thoughts clear. We are not saved by what we embrace we are saved by the blood of Jesus. I am not a teacher and I didn't teach, that satan teaches people to be righteous. I do think satan would teach someone that something is righteous when it really isn't however, but I wasn't even say that. ^^^^^^^^^^^^I didn't say this. I never said that it's ok to sin a little bit. But I do believe satan does tell people such lies. Sorry for the confusion.