ruthiechan

I stated what I did because it seemed to me that you were saying that Adam and Eve would have eventually had children if they stayed in the Garden long enough. I disagreed with that notion for the reasons stated in my above posts. I also disagree with the notion that Eve was simply duped, which does not reflect well upon her at all, and I disagree with the idea that the fall happened quickly after Adam & Eve were created. Please clarify what you mean by both Adams.

From: LDS.org - New Era Article - Q&A: Questions and Answers “Why did the Lord command Adam and Eve to multiply in the Garden of Eden when they could not have children before the fall? This is especially confusing when we have such scriptures as 1 Nephi 3:7, which states ‘… the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.’ ” Daniel H. Ludlow, “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, Sept. 1973, 13–14 Answer/ Daniel H. Ludlow One important point to consider in this question is whether or not Adam and Eve could have had children while they were in the Garden of Eden. The scriptures do not say Adam and Eve could not have children; they say Adam and Eve would not have had children if they had remained in a state of innocence, not knowing good from evil. For example, note the words of Lehi in explaining the situation of Adam and Eve before the fall: "And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.” (2 Ne. 2:23. Italics added.) This scripture seems to indicate that Adam and Eve were physically capable of having children in the Garden of Eden (thus they could have had children), but so long as they remained in their state of innocence, they never would have had children. Remember that Adam and Eve were so innocent in the Garden of Eden they didn’t even realize they were naked! Sometimes it helps to understand a religious question if we ask ourselves, How else could our Heavenly Father have done this? For example, how else could our Heavenly Father have brought about the necessary conditions that resulted from the fall of Adam and Eve? Following are four possibilities, and the only acceptable one is the one followed by the Lord: 1. What if the Lord had created the world in such a way that evil and sin would have been here from the beginning? In this case, God would be responsible for all sin and evil. 2. What if God had created the world in such a way that we never could commit any sin? In other words, what if he had never given us any law? It is true that in such a condition we never could have broken a law (committed sin), and thus there would have been no evil, no pain, or no disease. But if there is no possibility for sin and for the punishment and misery that accompany it, then there is no possibility for good and for the blessings and joy that follow obedience to law. None of us would want that type of world. 3. What if God had created a world where he would give us law (the opportunity of choice) but would not give us free agency (the freedom of choice)? How could there be any real growth in this situation? What development is there if we do things only because we have to do them? Also, how could a just God hold us responsible for our acts if we had no choice in the matter? 4. The other major possibility is the one the Lord followed. He created a world that was without sin or evil, and he placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden in a state of innocence. He then gave law (the opportunity of choice) to Adam and Eve, and he also gave them their free agency (the freedom of choice). Then, and this is a very important point, he did not hold Adam and Eve responsible for any transgression they committed in their state of innocence. God knew before the earth was ever created that it would be necessary for Adam and Eve to fall so they “would have seed.” Thus, even before the earth was created, Jesus Christ had agreed that he would pay the penalty required by the law of justice for the transgression of the law that resulted in the fall of Adam and Eve. The scriptures refer to the Savior as “the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world” (Rev. 13:8), and they indicate that Jesus Christ had agreed to bring about the atonement before the earth was ever created (1 Pet. 1:19–20; Eph. 1:4; Moses 5:57; D&C 121:32; Mosiah 18:13; Ether 3:14). The second part of the question states, in essence, “Why didn’t the Lord prepare the way for Adam and Eve to keep the commandment to multiply?” The answer to this question is that the Lord did prepare the way. In this dispensation the Lord has revealed through Joseph Smith additional information concerning the status of Adam and Eve both before and after the fall. In fact, the Lord restored to the Prophet the words of Adam and Eve to each other after they had been driven from the Garden of Eden and had been taught by an angel that Jesus Christ would atone for their transgression unconditionally and also would atone for their own personal sins upon the condition of their repentance. “And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God." “And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” (Moses 5:10–11. Italics added.)

I disagree. Adam and Eve were innocent. They did know not good from evil. They were not ashamed of their nakedness, reflecting the childlike quality they had. Kids don't care about nudity until we teach them to care. I do not believe that they would have ever procreated before the fall. Sexual desire wasn't a part of their physical bodies yet. Eve noticed something that Adam had not. She realized that the only way to have the same knowledge that her Father had was to eat of the fruit so that she too would know good from evil. She wanted to be like her parents. What child does not want to be like their parents? She wanted the same for Adam. I also do not understand why you believe Eve rushed into it. The passage of time is not stated. The only thing that is stated in the scriptures are certain events in relative sequence.

Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you do any other sort of drugs or mind altering drugs? If so, that is a gateway to possession. So cease doing those things if you do them. Do you have anything in your home that is somehow linked to the witchcraft/luciferian groups? If so, be rid of them and replace them with Christ centered things instead. Have you had a blessing on your house? You can have a prayer of protection for your home. Get another Priesthood blessing. Immerse yourself in the scriptures which you can get for free HERE. Immerse yourself in Gospel music and hymns which you can get HERE for free. Watch and listen to General Conference available HERE for free. Go to the Temple. I do not know where you live but get yourself to the nearest Temple and just stay on the Temple grounds. Pray while you are there. Pray every moment of every day. And remember to say thank you for your blessings. Gratitude helps put you in a better frame of mind. Immerse yourself in the service of others. Go volunteer at a local shelter or ask an old lady at church or a mom with a whole passel of kids if you can help them with any chores. There's always someone in need that you can help both in and out of the church! Call upon Christ, use his name, to aid you during your weakest moments. Learn the hymns (linked above), sing them, over and over and over again. My ex-fiance had a demon attempting to possess him. I only had the first verse of I Am A Child Of God memorized, but I sung that one verse over and over and over and over and over, and add a whole bunch of other overs, again. Demons can not stand to be in the presence of righteousness. That demon left him. I testify that it works. I testify that these things will build your faith and will fortify you against Satan and his demons. I know that God lives, that he is our Heavenly Father. I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Redeemer of all mankind. I know that they are aware of what you are going through and that they will help you. I also know that that the more good you do the greater Satan will attack you. If he stops attacking you or tempting you that means you are no longer important enough for him to pay attention to. So, in reality the fact that Satan is pushing you so hard means you have a mission to perform, that you will be a great force for good in this world. That your light will shine brightly if you continue on the path of righteousness and that others will learn follow you because of your righteous example. So fortify yourself, surround yourself with righteous things and righteous people. This is my testimony. In the Name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Which text? Sarah Menet's book There Is No Death? There will always be someone challenging the authenticity of such texts. We have people challenge the Book of Mormon. Read her book with an open mind and spirit, and decide for yourself.

I remember what it was like to go to church alone. And I don't mean walking in the door by myself, I mean friendless. It was hard to go anyway. I remember what it was like to go to church feeling judged by my peers. It was hard to go anyway. I remember what it was like to be discounted and my word questioned by leaders and others at church. It was hard to go anyway. I remember what it was like to go to church and be surrounded by people who were friendly and helpful. I remember what it was like to go to church and have a calling and work to fulfill that calling and have others recognize your work. I know what it's like to go to church and have friends waiting for me there. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't go anyway when it was hard. All the blessings I have now might not have been. We will always face trials. They help us grow, even though while we're in the middle of it we have a hard time believing that. That's when we need the Lord the most.

I feel I should point out that Dr. Amen, the man speaking, has anxiety and has to go through relaxation techniques in order to speak on stage. Can you believe it? I have read some of his books which is how I know this. Tomk, I hope you have since watched all of the videos.

HAHAHA! I needs a lol button. Though for some people I bet standing and getting up there is a big deal. *Shrug*

Thank you for this. I have not read it before. Where did you find it? Also, have you read There Is No Death by Sarah Menet? She committed suicide but she didn't die. Instead she received a vision was given a second chance at life and years later she was given a blessing by faith from a priest who said that her life was being spared so that her voice could be heard. So she wrote this book. She described much of what Taylor has described. I read the book and felt the Spirit bear witness to me that her experience was real and is real and pertains to us now. It is evidence that God is pouring out his Spirit upon his servants, even if they do not know they are his servants. Ms Menet had no idea. She later btw, was baptized into the LDS church.

Because of a shift in ocean currents. It will simply mask the effects of Global Warming. Global cooling theories put scientists on guard | Environment | Reuters Global Warming refers to temperature increases in the troposphere, which in turn can cause climate change. Natural changes, human activities, or both can cause such warming. Global climate change is a broader term that refers to changes in any aspects to he earth's climate, including temperature, precipitation, and storm intensity and patterns. The AVERAGE global temperature of the troposphere near the earth's surface has risen 1.1 Fahrenheit for the entire globe and .8 on the continents. The 20th century was the warmest century in 1000 years and the ten warmest years since 1861 has occurred after 1990. Note, it says AVERAGE. There are bound to be some nice super cool years in the individual samples, but put together there is still an increase in temperature. The issue is how fast the temperature is rising. The faster it rises the more dramatic the changes in the climate. This does not mean that the entire earth is going to be all warmed up. It means some places are going to be warmer and others cooler, which is why you're going to get snow in Las Vegas and why the ice caps are melting with polar bears dying because of it. Our thoughtless human activities are what's causing the increase of natural disasters and such in the last days. Global Warming and the Hadron Collider are part of it. So is ingesting harmful substances, and yes, caffeine counts. Harmful substances muck with our brains destroying our ability to think clearly and to be receptive the spirit. For more on the brain refer to the thread I started about The Brain (vids) and how it relates to the Gospel.

Oops, double post. Sorry.

The History Channel had a special on this called Nostradamus 2012. It is believed that we will also be in perfect alignment of a black hole and that is why our poles will shift. I am not sure how much of that is nonsense or truth, but it was interesting. Especially in light of the Hadron Collider. The Hadron Collider is basically one helluva machine that was built in an attempt to duplicate on a tiny scale the Big Bang. In doing so super tiny black holes were formed and disappeared. Large Hadron Collider: Best- and Worst-Case Scenarios | Wired Science from Wired.com If The Large Hadron Collider Produced A Microscopic Black Hole, It Probably Wouldn't Matter What is not talked about and is denied is that earthquakes happened on the same day or the day after it was turned on, which was early morning September 10th. The collider had some electrical problems and is put on hold until May. Here are the major earthquakes that occurred, not all of which were reported very well in the media. *** A 5.8-magnitude earthquake struck in northern Chile on September 10, 2008. The center of the quake was near the town of Pica. The quake struck near the town of Pica and about 63 miles from the city Iquique.4Collahuasi, a large copper mine near Iquique, was not affected. Source: Chile Earthquake - Mahalo *** Powerful Earthquake Rattles Indonesia By NINIEK KARMINI, Associated Press | September 10, 2008 JAKARTA, Indonesia � A powerful earthquake rattled northeastern Indonesia today, triggering a tsunami alert and sending panicked residents fleeing from their homes, officials said. The quake had a preliminary magnitude of 6.6 and struck 55 miles beneath the Molucca Sea, the U.S. Geological Survey said. Indonesia's seismological agency said it had a magnitude of 7.6. The agency immediately issued a tsunami alert over the radio and television. Source: Powerful Earthquake Rattles Indonesia - September 10, 2008 - The New York Sun *** A 7.2 magnitude earthquake struck Japan on September 11, 2008, that may have been felt as far away as Indonesia. Tsunami warnings had been issued in response. (This probably related to the quake in Indonesia) Source: Japan Earthquake - Mahalo and Large earthquakes reported in Indonesia and Japan - Wikinews, the free news source *** Wednesday, 10 September 2008 22:58 UK Earthquake strikes southern Iran Iranian state TV broke the news within minutes of the quake A quake measuring 6.1 has struck near the south Iranian city of Bandar Abbas, killing seven people and injuring at least 40, Iranian state media report. US monitors recorded it at 0630 (1100 GMT), at a depth of 15km (9.3 miles), 60km (35 miles) west of the city which is home to a major oil refinery. Source: BBC NEWS | Middle East | Earthquake strikes southern Iran Is this really a coincidence? I doubt it.

Seriously. I used to play around in the bathroom, singing and dancing, and making rhythms. It was fun.

MOE: I felt the Spirit confirm the truthfulness of your first post. Not strange. It is true. We shall be judged by the same measure we judge others. Hidden, know this, Satan is working hard on you. You are important. Your family is important. If you let Satan have his way you will destroy the chances your family has of Celestial glory. Your children will fall away. This will happen whether or not your husband remarries, but know this he will not remarry right away. Your husband LOVES YOU. He wants to KEEP YOU FOR FOREVER. That's why he married you in the Temple. Your children love you. They want you for their mother, for forever, even if they do not remember that right now. Consider this, our souls are more than just a collection of cells and their accompanying DNA strands. If this were not so then identical twins would be exactly the same in all things. Did you know that the only physical difference between identical twins are their fingerprints? If an identical twin committed a crime a blood sample would not suffice because identical twins have the exact same DNA. They are genetically identical. But, their finger prints are different. Why? Because, in my opinion, that is the mark of our spirits entering our bodies. Fingerprints begin to form in the 9th week of gestation. It is my belief that that is when the spirit enters the body. Why do I believe this? Because it would be a cruel thing for miscarriages to mean death to an unborn soul. Because very few conceptions actually result in a baby (my mother has my development book and I do not remember the numbers on that one). Just because the egg and the sperm get together does not mean the next steps will be performed or performed properly. Such dud combinations are simply flushed out during your next menstrual cycle. Why would God allow spirits to enter such dud combinations? And when I mean very few I mean only like 9% of conceptions results in babies, some ludicrously low number. My daughter just asked me if I was alright. I said that I was talking to someone. She asked what was wrong. I said, that she wants to kill herself. She asked me, "why, she's crazy!" I smiled and said, "yes, Satan is trying to convince her that she'd be better off dead." "WHAT? That's not good. Now I want to kick Satan in the eye." Then she asked me to tell you that it's not good to kill yourself. As you can see I have a rather somber child. She takes these things very seriously and has a lot of compassion. So, seek professional help, and listen to MOE, Funky and Hemi.

Okay, so I am a big time advocate for brain health. I came upon these videos and I put them in a play list on youtube. It is fascinating stuff and I feel that it will be helpful to you. There are seven videos, each are ten minutes (though the last video is actually four). I've been contemplating posting them, but then after reading Ben's thread on the Matthew Chapter 13 Parable I knew, "now is the time" (yes, that was the Spirit talking, those were its exact words to me). Here's the list: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=523AF2183817089A Now, I am wondering, what are your thoughts on how this relates to the Gospel? I won't tell you my thoughts because I really feel that you need to see the videos FIRST before I say anything.

SP?

Seriously? In my current ward there are two men who play organ, and one fellow is the Ward Music Chairman too. In my last ward there were only two organists, and they were female. Maybe you should learn to play Pale.

I want to be a wheat. When we had this lesson we talked about how some seeds just need more water or sunlight or fertilizer. Sometimes I think that the ground the seeds fall upon represents our readiness to hear and accept the gospel, the background we came from, our experiences. You never know what sort of spiritual ground your seeds will be falling upon, so you keep planting seeds over and over again until it takes root, because you never know when the ground will become fertile. I also believe that the softening of the heart that occurs acts as a sort of spiritual fertilizer. Two weeks ago a man in church gave a talk about missionary work. He talked about planting seeds, and because he knew the results of some of those seeds he planted years and years ago that didn't take root right away, it resonated. Sometimes I don't think people truly believe in the whole plant seeds so that someday one will take root. It's hard to have that sort of faith. One fellow at church is a member today because throughout high school his LDS friends kept planting seeds and now he's a strong member of our ward. I wish I could remember what his calling is. . . Ah well.

That is so awesome. LOL! Thursday I had to threaten my child with not being able to go to school. She cries when she's sick and unable to go to school. That threat NEVER would have worked on me as a kid. I look forward to the blog, seriously. That's neat. You're a great Mom for facilitating such activities for your kids. You deserve a costco sized box of kudos.

Seriously! My sister is a private person so she always used the mother's lounge. But, she would find people chatting and they wouldn't leave. She even had someone come in while she was breastfeeding. It was a man using the mother's lounge to extend the calling. He was surprised someone was in there but he DIDN'T LEAVE. The person being extended the calling was shocked and didn't know what to do (she was in YW's). I also remember going off to use the mother's lounge during sacrament meeting only to find kids from the other ward playing around in there instead of going to class. I, not being shy, asked for a seat and once I started getting ready to whip out that boob those girls left. LOL! But not everyone is like me. I preferred nursing the lounge because they have nice comfy chairs and arm rests which makes breast feeding far more comfy than in the pews. Amen! I had to feed my kiddo frequently too and sometimes I really didn't want to miss a great lesson so I'd feed the kiddo in the back.

I'm glad things are going so much better. You're attitude is great. One word of caution. Please, when you vent, do not vent to friends or family. Vent to a journal, vent to your Bishop, vent to a professional, but not friends or family. They will remember everything you say and it will negatively color their perception of your husband. They will not be there to see the changes, and how you two are working it out. And even if you tell them, and even if you say that life is good between you two now, they will STILL remember this and think of your husband as the guy who screwed up and ruined your dreams. I, unfortunately, learned that the hard way. PS: I'd love to see your plan. If I were in your shoes I'd have no idea how to go about fixing it!

I agree with those telling you that you need to take control. She needs to go on a cash only basis. BUT, that will be difficult if you have a joint account. However, here's how you get around that. Get another checking out at the same bank your joint account is. Put all of your money into your account, the transfer is free and quick and painless via online transfers. Transfer all automatic withdrawals to your account. Leave only enough money in the account for items that you know are going go through the joint account. After you do this, THEN tell her what you have done and why. If you say anything before hand she may try to thwart you. My husband and I do this btw. All the money goes to his account. Anything I make or obtain (ie: financial aid for school) goes into the joint. I pretty much only have school funds so when I go grocery shopping and what not I have to go through my husband. He drops funds into the joint account. My husband also takes care of all the finances. The only thing I do is mail the rent check. If I want to do anything extra, I gotta ask for the funds for it. It works out better that way. But, he can also trust me not to go spending money for food he puts in there on other things. For you, I would suggest that you also close the joint account. But, you need both of you to do that, and that is where my thoughts tread on unfamiliar territory. Are the credit cards in your name? I would call them and cancel them all. You can cut up the cards but she can always call and ask for a new one, especially if she is an authorized user. If you are the main person on the account you can remove her authorized user status. She can also always accept new debt in her name. Talking to a lawyer is definitely a good idea. I would also suggest speaking to your Bishop. I have the feeling that you are going to need to get food orders from the church soon, if not already. He needs to be made aware of what is going on, and what you are planning to do. Other thoughts I have are to take over the grocery shopping, and ALL spending, including gas money. She can still use the car to see friends, but if she needs more gas YOU buy it. Do not hand her $20 to spend on gas because she's only going to put five in the tank and buy crap with the rest. Definitely return all the items she bought. I know she's hiding things but it could be that she's doing that not because she knows it's wrong but because she doesn't want to make you mad. There IS a difference. She needs professional help. Inform friends and family that you are trying to avoid bankruptcy, so to please do NOT loan either of you any money because you know that you won't be able to pay it back, even if one of you were to ask. Tell them you have a plan if you want, but this way people are being made aware without you vilifying your wife. I am so sorry you are going through this. You and your wife are in my prayers.

I had a feeling your husband had no idea what was going on with you. But you know what? I get the feeling that you have a good man for a husband too. :) *HUGS* I am so glad we were able to help you. You are and your family are in my prayers sister.

Ahhhh. My heart aches for you. My friend, you already have fallen into depression. You are covering it up by being angry or resentful. Anger gives a person a false sense of power. So instead of acting out by cutting yourself or staying in bed all day you are acting out by being angry, but in order to be angry you have to find reasons to be angry. My daughter, who is turning six in May, said something profound. She said to me this morning, "When you're angry it makes me run away." I instantly thought of you and knew that what she said was true. The more angry you become, the more resentful, the more you'll want to run away. Interestingly enough, upon reflection, I was the same way many years ago. There is hope though. You have taken the first step, which is to acknowledge you have a problem. The next step is to take it to the Lord, also read your scriptures - I really mean it when I say that answers to your issues are there, and then take it to your husband. Let him know that you don't really want to run away, because the thought of hurting him and your children is too much to bear, but that you need his help. Pray about how to approach this. If you are having difficulty with the prayer aspect talk to your Bishop. In fact, talk to him anyway. He will help you. If you don't want to talk to your husband on your own, use the Bishop as a mediator. There's no shame in that. There's no shame in having these feelings. The only shame that can come is if you act on them. But, thankfully, you don't really want to act on those feelings, and you don't want to even be feeling them, so that will make them a bit simpler to work through. Keep your eye on your heart goal. About the years of being selfless and getting nothing in return, well, sometimes that's how it is. Remember when Jesus healed those men of leprosy but only one turned back and thanked him? You were being Christlike with your selfless behavior. I know it's hard to focus on the positive and remember all the times you DID receive thanks and blessings, negative thoughts are something I have to battle too, but it's really important not to let them rule your thoughts. You don't have to believe every thought you have. Talk back to them. That's what I do, and it works! I have some recommended reading for you as well. The first being, Healing Anxiety and Depression by Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Lisa C. Routh. It is very good and will help you. It helped me. Another book I recommend is called The Prayer of Jabez. If you have a dollar store where you live you should be able to get it for a dollar (it's a ten dollar book). If you want though, I will mail you a copy. I have some extras. Seriously, I really will! Just PM me your address and it goes in the mail on Tuesday. Try to change your anger into compassion. This is where the talking back to your thoughts comes in. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Taking a step back, thinking through it logically, saying a prayer and allowing the Spirit to work on you is all part of the process. It works! I promise! It even helped me respond more positively to you. *smile* Yes, I really am smiling. It helps to see the humor in a given situation. Remember, this too shall pass. *hugs*

Your husband works all day and night to provide for you. He goes into the basement to play games after work to decompress. You go upstairs to watch TV and putz around online, likely sulking about being neglected by your husband... Why aren't you being with your husband? Why not move where you keep the second computer and the TV down to the basement or move it all upstairs? That way you can both be in the same room together doing your thing. When you do that you can make comments and talk to each other about what it is you are doing or about something else entirely. Your husband still wants to have sex with you. Well, that's good. Think how awful it would be if he didn't. But also think how much better it would be for him and for you if you romanced him into it. Where's the lingerie? Where're the massages and the showing of appreciation for his hard work? Do you really know what it is you are saying when you say you feel like running away? You are saying that you feel like abandoning your children, you're saying you feel like abandoning your family. How would YOU feel if your husband "ran away". You think life is rough now, life as a single Mom is worse. About your daughter, you don't want to be with her? That poor little girl, she is picking up on that rejection, and yes, you are rejecting her. She knows it even though she can not express it. So, she becomes more clingy and engages in more annoying behavior because she wants to be with you. She is no longer secure in her place. Also, it's not about control, but guidance. Yelling at your sweet innocent daughter does not help her, nor you as it makes you feel worse. She is not being guided but is being treated as though she is a nuisance not worth your time. How does that help her engage in positive Christlike behavior? I know this is hard to hear. And I know that you probably don't think you should be the one to change, but you're the only person you can change. You're new here so mayhaps you do not know this, but I know what it's like to have a lousy marriage. I also know what it's like to be a single Mom. But I also know what it's like to work hard to make positive selfless changes which ultimately saved my marriage. The changes started with me changing myself. It also started with me getting on my knees in prayer asking my Heavenly Father to help me know what to do each day for my husband. Life is GOOD now, even with the the rough times - he may be jobless after April. Life is still good. It was worth every ounce of effort. My husband is a better companion. My changes facilitated his ability to change. Remember, what you have between your husband and you is going to be DIFFERENT from other married couples. Sure there are neat things that other couples do, and sometimes I think it would be nice if my husband and I did those things too, but you know what, those things don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is whether or not WE are happy together doing what WE do together. Talk to your Bishop, even if you do not want to. Go to counseling. Counseling for depression and counseling for helping your marriage are two different things, and can be interrelated because if you're depressed it negatively colors your perceptions. (I used to be suicidally depressed so I know what that's like too.) PRAY. ASK your Heavenly Father what he would have you do to help restore your relationship with your husband. Read your scriptures, in them you will find answers to your prayers. Then, after that, DO what he tells you to do, even if you do not want to. Do it anyway! The Spirit of God will not misguide you. You will misguide you though. So be careful. Remember, it's not all about you. It's about your eternal family. All those dreams are lies of the adversary. Satan is tricking you into believing that life would be so much better if only you were free from your family responsibilities. This is a lie, it is not true. If you abandon your family misery will ensue, your depression with come back full force and worse. You will lose your eternal family if you leave. This does not even touch upon the terrible ripple effects either. BUT, in everything there is an opposite, thus, if you emulate Christlike behavior towards your children and your husband the ripple effects will be wonderful and you will be blessed. Choose you this day whom ye will serve.