skippy740

Your duty is to your children, not your parents. Your parents *should* be backing you up, but they have removed themselves from the truth. Those that had the truth and have shunned it are the most bitter --- and the most jealous of those who have found happiness within the truth.

"Thank God" = taking name in vain as it is too common of a phrase even if it was used appropriately. "Thank the Lord!" = probably much more acceptable. "Goodness Gracious Me" = doesn't include the Lord's name. We can add to this list if you'd like? :)

The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have! Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, I can hardly stand it!' Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

A young guy from Minnesota moved to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota." So the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow, I'll come after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says "$101,237.65" The boss says "$101,237.65 What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then a new fishing rod." Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.' The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND A TRUCK?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing........."

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.' 'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration? The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead..' Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye..' Now the auditor can tell Grand pa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'

Just remember that with "Mission Medical", it's like an HMO plan with a Primary Care Coordinator. Guess who that is??? For me, it was my mission president's wife! Now, when I broke my fibula on my mission, it took TWO days for her to allow me to see a doctor after it happened. And that's not because it took me two days to call her, and it's not like she couldn't return my call for two days either. It was because she wanted me to WORK as best as I can and THEN call her in two days to see if the pain had lessened. (Look, when you're on icy pavement, and you slip, and you hear a loud "POP" right as you slide down, you KNOW something is wrong and that it requires the attention of a doctor.) Remember that there ARE some "momma's boys" missionaries out there who would cry out "Mission Medical" as much as they cried out "Wolf". So I understand that not everything is a medical emergency. Also, the more time you spend in doctor's offices, the less time you are out proselyting. You don't have to worry about all that if you have your own health insurance coverage. I would HIGHLY recommend it just because of my own experience.

After Rameumptom's comments are answered, I'd ask how we can GROW our stakes & wards with missionary work towards our black brothers and sisters in the community? (aside from our missionaries knocking on their doors)

Might I suggest that you limit these kinds of posts to 10 items per thread? Over 10 and it's just too cumbersome to try to attempt. Okay, now you can ignore my post have have fun! :)

Blacks in the Scriptures - Black / Negro Mormon LDS history & Doctrine

Having served my mission in the Tennessee Knoxville Mission, I have some ideas for you Michael. #1 - ALWAYS answer a "biblical" question using the Book of Mormon. Let the spirit of The Book of Mormon help answer the question - and you'll take your "biblical opponent" to an unknown land where they cannot reject what we believe. (BTW, if they say to only give answers in the Bible - end the conversation.) #2 - Ask your ward's missionaries for a copy of their mission "scripture chains". These are versus of scripture that are arranged in a sequence so you can go from verse, to verse, to verse on a variety of topics. On my mission I actually had many scripture chains and I marked my scriptures at the top of the page with the topic and NEXT verse. Then went to the next verse and marked the topic and NEXT verse. I mention #2 because this is a very useful thing FOR YOU, not for doing any "bible bashing" of any kind. The more scriptures you have in your memory, the better they can come to your mind. You can also give a quick Sunday School lesson without ANY preparation of any kind! (Believe me, I know because it happened to me.) #3 - Bear your testimony. Your testimony is YOUR and yours alone. Manipulated scripture cannot refute your testimony. You cannot PROVE that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is only in the LDS faith. That's why it's called FAITH. But if you want to have a meaningful discussion, use the cornerstone of our faith - The Book of Mormon. Then invite them to read the Book of Mormon and to pray about it, and if Joseph Smith was truly a Prophet of God. Make it a missionary moment, not a bible bashing session.

Don't worry. Even the Prophet Joseph Smith didn't pray vocally until He prayed in the Sacred Grove for guidance. (Joseph Smith History 1:14)

What does Christmas mean to you? How do you find meaning in the Christmas Season? [hint: start there] Then when you have the answers to these questions, you can find different DECEMBER Ensign articles on LDS.org to help you illustrate the point. I'm a "Bah Humbug" guy myself - but that's me connecting to Charles Dickens!

I contacted an old flame from back in high school through face book. I showed my wife all the messages just to be sure that she knew what I was doing. I did ask her why we never went out (although I never did quite get a definitive answer, hmmm) but left it at that. She is happily married as well as I. I think facebook is a much better service (and better reputation) over myspace. I've reconnected with over 100 people during my first month of being on there! Keep it fun but know where your limits are.

(In my best child-like 5-year-old voice) "I'd like to bear my testimony. I know the Church is True. I love my mommy and daddy and my brothers and sisters." (insert other stuff here & close in Christ's name, Amen) My brother (when he was about 6), said that once... but he HAS no sisters!

Let's get Ty Pennington in there to help spur some local ward/stake community service projects too!

I would like to convert the Clintons - both Bill and Hillary. I'd like to see their hearts convicted of their sins - Bill for his adultery and Hillary for acting like a real man. Let's see... who else? I second the nomination for Dr. Laura Schlessinger. BILL COSBY!!! Now there's a name that I would like to see on the ward list! And I'd also go for Chef Gordon Ramsey. Maybe the Gospel can help to clean up his mouth and the Relief Society can learn some different desserts other than Green Jello with Shredded Carrots. Could you imagine what he'd say to that recipe??? LOL

FTC = Flirt to Convert!!! I would hope that your daughter is the kind of example to attract others to WANT to follow Christ - to be more like her.

That website [expletive deleted]. If they can't put together a decent website, I would severely discount their reputation in asset management. I'd look at Goldman Sachs, American Funds, BNY Mellon, Oppenheimer Funds, Franklin Templeton. Just their websites would make me feel much more comfortable. [...] Okay, I think we've taken this thread too far off-course of the original post. (I apologize because I helped cause it to detract from the original purpose.)

I'm just thinking of Stephen Covey when I read your post: Be YOURSELF and love them.

12% is not a realistic number. Perhaps more like 6-7% can be found in a simpler, less risky way.

For #2 - I can prove that it's more financially efficent to keep the mortgage as long as possible ASSUMING that you can afford a larger payment and are saving the difference into something more "wealth-producing". During retirement, most people are losing many of their tax deductions and if they still have a mortgage to pay, it will help. I'm looking at a MACRO-Economic view of someone's financial situation, not just the aspect of $1 in interest to get back $.30 of tax deduction. There are many other areas that require coordinating and measuring to see how viable those ideas are. (I'd try to post it here, but it would be far too difficult.)

My parents moved our family right before I went into high school for rather similar reasons. They moved to a larger home and almost doubled the mortgage payment. If we didn't move: 1) I don't think I would've served a mission 2) I don't think my 2 younger brothers would've served missions 3) We would've had some rather negative influences in our lives because of the gang influences in that old neighborhood So, there was a larger financial COST to that decision, but there were other side benefits that were worth MORE than the money it took to help get the family in a better environment.

At the ROOT of your question, it is an EMOTIONAL question, NOT a financial question. You are asking yourself what you FEEL would be the most comfortable to you. Please remember that the Church gives general counsel on finances, but they are NOT in the business of providing professional financial advice. (Note: I am a licensed financial advisor and strategist.) For financial efficiency, I would've told you to NOT pay off your house because: 1) There is no rate of return on your equity 2) You will need tax deductions where you can get them (home mortgage interest) and those deductions WILL become more valuable as taxes WILL increase (regardless of who is President) 3) Your equity is at risk to market forces that are beyond your own control I personally think it's better to BE ABLE TO pay off your house when you want, but keep your equity and your cash separate. When your Assets are equal or greater than your Liabilities, then you are not "in debt" or "in the red" for your entire financial picture because you have the ABILITY to eliminate that debt whenever you so choose. But my thoughts are not for everybody. The reason for moving isn't rooted in finances, it's safety and security. Don't ask a financial question when the finances are a consequence of your real question. Your real question is: Should we move? If so, how do we afford it? Is this a wise course of action for the family? The numbers will help you with other aspects, but it's NOT a financial question you're really asking. I hope this helps some.

There will be no animals in heaven per Moroni 10:33 :)

The safe haven law is about the parent and the child. If the parent feels trapped (no matter how true or untrue it may really be), then what is the new mother to do? The responsible ones research their options and go with what's best for their baby. The irresponsible ones end up putting the baby at a great risk - one way or another. Dumpsters have been mentioned before. I can't believe how a feeling human being can put a gift from our Heavenly Father such like a newborn child to wrap them up in a trash bag and leave them with stinky, smelly garbage. I don't get it. But I don't have to. I simply want there to be an alternative for these young people who made stupid decisions and are about to make one of their most foolish decisions they can make. At least they didn't ABORT the baby by this time. But sticking the baby in a dumpster is not only abandonment, but is many times considered attempted murder. The child deserves more than that - simply because the child cannot make any decisions for themselves. Now, is the safe haven law perfect? No. No law can be perfect unless we had perfect people who know about the laws and will follow them. As was stated before - you cannot legislate people into perfection. Laws are guidelines of following life. Ethics and morals are the only way for people to live a more perfect life. In California, we had a proposition regarding the requirement for unwed teenage expectant mothers to require that their parents are notified that they are expecting a child. This was voted against because of other family issues. Not all families are loving. Many have child molesters, beatings and other things that (I would guess) a semi-responsible teenage mother wouldn't want for their own child - let alone letting a family like that know about this pregnancy and opening up a new can of worms in the family. Bottom line: The famly is at risk. If there is no love in a family, sometimes the best love a mother can give is to give the child up to a family where there is love. There are too many families that are completely dis-functional out there. Just watch some episodes of "COPS" or the "Maury Povich show" sometime and you'll get a sense of the kinds of families that the Safe Haven law was designed for. It wasn't meant for families like "The Huxtables". Let's give the unprepared mothers a way out from their foolish decision and give the child a chance at a much better life.