Truegrits

:) Hi Daniel...WELCOME!

You might be attending a redneck church if.... In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. (I know this to be true!!!) The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up. (My family has 2 Bubba's) The choir is known as the "OK Chorale." People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

I find myself forgetting LOTS of things lately Welcome!

Hello Wai :) Welcome to the site.

Hello Cody :) WELCOME!

There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a pastor nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the pastor to talk with the boys and he agreed. The mother went to the pastor and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent the younger boy to the pastor. The pastor sat the boy down across his HUGE, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the pastor pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Young man, where is God?" The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, then said nothing. Again, louder, the pastor pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" Again, the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the pastor leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Young man, I ask you, where is God?" The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We're in Bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g trouble." The older boy asked, "What do you mean, 'BIG trouble?'"; His brother replied, "I'm telling' ya', we're in BIG trouble. God is missing and they think we did it!"

Hello, and Welcome to the site :)

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing. *********************************************** The pessimist may be right in the long run, but the optimist has a better time during the trip.

Hello Lydia :) WELCOME! A lot of good information and conversation going on here...join in.

I do not remember/know why, but I spelled those words with the "u". I was being corrected all the time. To this day, I will spell colour, and catch and correct it. I like the "u"; it feels right, to me.

I can only imagine what you are going through. Having any one of those things happening would be hard, but to be living through/dealing with it all, at the same time...my heart and my prayers go out to you. But those 17 years are not "down the drain". You have three wonderful gifts from those years, that will be going through these tough times, also. They will need your love, your strength, your being there for them. Maybe your being strong for them, will help you through, also. You do not have to do it alone. Like seeking_peace said, talk with your bishop, LDS Social Services. They will help you during this hard time.

When my dad, a good ol' boy from the South, visited me in Manhattan, I treated him to dinner at an elegant French restaurant. Since he was out of his element, I ordered for him, choosing the beef bourguignonne with a side of polenta, which he loved. That night, I overheard him on the phone with my stepmother. "Dinner was great," he raved. "But you won't believe how much they charge here for pot roast and grits." ******************************************************** On the way to a funeral home for the viewing of a friend's father, I reminded my three-year-old daughter to be quiet and respectful. And she was......right up to the end, when she asked, "Mommy, who is that man in the treasure chest?"

Hello curious :) welcome to the site.

I do not know why you are pausing, thinking, straining, pondering. Is "T" the only letter in the alphabet you have such difficulty with?

It takes more time NOT to pronounce them

LOL ... I tried saying kitten/written/beaten/mountain without the "T"s, and it is really hard to do!

Hello Fleur :) WELCOME to the site.

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his own sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your sweatshirt?" He yelled back, "Nike." ********************************************************** After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

Hello :) WELCOME

A magician was performing on a cruise ship. The pay was okay, but there was just one problem: The captain's parrot, who saw the shows every week, knew the tricks. In the middle of the show, the parrot would squawk: "Look, it's not the same hat... he's hiding the flowers under the table... hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician couldn't do anything because it was the captain's parrot. One day the ship sank and the magician found himself clinging to a piece of wood... with the parrot perched on the other end. They stared at each other silently for several hours. Fianlly the parrot squawked: "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the boat?"

Hi Kindan :) WELCOME!

Hello Jennifer :) Welome to the site.

Hello virginia, Georgia welcomes you to the site :)

Wow! Mind boggling.

:) The things kids think..... Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. **************************************************** A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy." ****************************************************** A teacher was telling the story of the Good Samaritan to her class of 4 & 5 year-olds. She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the children interested in her tale. At one point, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up!"