ViolinGirl

LOL Bytor! I was wondering where all the Irish songs were! Check out stuff by the Elders. They are fantastic!

My 6 week old was in daycare for exactly 5 days. During that time, she wasn't being fed properly/regularly and I'm pretty sure the employees were smoking in the building. They charged $26 per day. I'm now paying someone to come to my house every day instead, which is 1000 times better. Baby is much happier and so is mommy. Cost...$120/week.

Bini, you just hit the nail on the head. There are lots of red flags when it comes to money and property. I don't think he's thought everything through properly. They were going to get married in October, but all of a sudden, the date got moved up to this weekend. Something isn't right about this woman and I can't put my finger on it.

My dad is getting remarried this weekend (my mother died about 2 years ago) and I very much object to the situation. I think he's making a huge mistake and I don't feel like I can support his decision. He hasn't known this woman very long and this will be her 3rd marriage. I don't want to go to the wedding and pretend like everything is fine when it isn't. Would you go?

Hi, Ana. I can tell you first hand that weight loss is not easy, but it's certainly possible. I'd like to suggest that you look into a local Weight Watcher's meeting. They can help you get started with a healthy eating plan, give you information on portion control, and offer you lots of support. It's even likely that you'd find an exercise partner there as well...someone to keep you accountable and motivated. Start slow. Don't try to save the world in one day. Maybe add a few healthier food to your diet, cut out some of the things you know you shouldn't have (like fast food), eat smaller portions, and start walking, even if it's just a stroll to the end of the block and back a few times a day. You'll be surprised how quickly your body adjusts to the exercise and you'll find that you'll start feeling better both mentally and physically. You'll soon be able to walk way farther than you ever thought. Remember that you're making a lifelong change and you have to understand that you didn't gain the weight overnight, so it's going to take awhile to lose it. Stick with it and you'll soon start to see good things happening.

My husband married me when I was at my highest weight ever...260 pounds. I've since lost about 75 pounds, but it's taken me 15 years to do it. He's probably gained 50 pounds since our wedding. I think if you love someone, you look at what's on the inside of the person first. It sounds to me like your husband is being incredibly shallow and has some serious issues of his own to deal with. You haven't done anything wrong. If I was in your situation, I'd sit him down, tell him how I feel and then tell him that if he's looking for a supermodel wife, he's more than welcome to go find her. You deserve better than what he's willing to give you.

Fortunately, I don't have a 'helpful' mother-in-law to deal with, but I AM surrounded by 'helpful' sisters. Husband has 2 and I have 1. Eowyn, I like your attitude and I may have to adopt it as my own.

Thanks, Pam. It's good to know I'm not the only one.

Unfortunately, husband wasn't very specific as to how long she planned on staying. I probably need to find out. I'm the kind of person who would rather be alone and just do what I have to do and not worry about anyone else.

I'm expecting my first baby this fall. My husband told me yesterday that his sister wants to come visit after I give birth and help out for awhile. I told him that I didn't care if she comes, but I requested that she stay at a hotel. He didn't seem to think it was an issue to have her staying at the house, but the last thing I want to have to worry about while I'm trying to figure out how to care for a newborn is cooking meals and cleaning the house for a house guest. I understand that she is family and I do like her, but all I can do is picture myself being tired from all the night time feedings and taking care of the baby and house while husband is at work. And I think that time should be mine to spend with the baby to find a routine and get settled into parenting. Am I really off-base on my thinking? Am I being selfish?

Here's your problem. When you're in a relationship with someone, you still have to keep your own identity. Your own friends, hobbies, etc. Try to find something to do on your own every once in awhile.

Finished drywall

If you expect God to bless you, I believe that paying your tithes is important. God won't bless someone who doesn't submit to his requirements.

Ashley, I think the best thing you can do, if you want to take the first step toward repairing your relationship, is apologize to him for your actions. Be up front with him and tell him exactly what was going on with you when you pushed him away. Give him the opportunity to forgive you and tell him you'd like to start over. He may be glad to have you back in his life, he may not...either way, at least you know you've done your part to fix your mistakes. As far as his spiritual life goes, keep in mind that his relationship with God and the church is HIS responsibility, not yours. You can let him know you'll be there for him as a friend if he needs to talk or needs help, but don't put yourself in a position where you're trying to save him. Sometimes people we love make mistakes. Sometimes all we can do is sit back and watch the train wreck happen. A true friend will be there, though, to help pick up the pieces in the aftermath. Just don't let yourself get sucked into the vortex with him.

What a sad situation for your kids. I give you all the credit in the world for trying to keep their mother in their life...a lot of 'exs' I know would have just shut the door on visitations. Mom is still important, even if she has problems. Your kids probably know and understand more about the situation than you think they do and they will figure everything out and form their own opinions about mom soon enough. I think the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids, honestly answer the questions they have and do whatever you can to reassure them that they are loved and safe and surrounded by family who care. You're a terrific dad and I know your kids will be just fine because they have you to support and guide them.

I guess you could call me an "Evangelical." I believe that in order to get to heaven, you need to accept Christ as your savior AND I believe that 'good works' are also necessary. Our pastor reminded us a few ago that faith without works is nothing. To me, that means my faith is useless unless I do something constructive with it. Why bother to accept Christ if you're not willing to try to live the life He's commanded you to?

That was my argument, but my friend insists otherwise. He believes that God won't accept him into heaven because of his sinful thoughts.

A friend and I were having a discussion today. He said that thinking about something sinful is as bad as actually doing it in God's eyes. For example, if I see an attractive man and have inappropriate thoughts about him, even though I didn't act on those thoughts, God still sees that as a sin. What does everyone think?

sjdean, Around Easter this year, I decided to go back to church, but I wasn't sure which one to attend. I simply prayed and asked God to lead me to where He wanted me to worship. The first Sunday, I went to a Baptist Church. The sermon was good, but I just didn't have that warm, comfortable feeling I thought I should. The next Sunday, I went to an independent church. As soon as I walked through the door, I just knew it was the right one...been going there ever since. Start 'shopping around' for your church. Attend different services in your area. Ask God to lead you to the right place. He will and when He does, you'll know it in your heart.

I'm not sure how to respond regarding your family's opinions on the church; however, I think it's necessary for you to remind your children that being a member of a family is a responsibility. If these were my kids, the next time they needed to borrow the car or wanted money to buy a new CD or wanted to hang out with friends, the answer would be 'no, you forfeited your privileges the other day when you didn't bother to help me with the laundry.' I'd also stop doing their laundry for them. When they run out of clean underwear, they'll get the message loud and clear.

When I was a teenager, I asked a friend of mine (who was making plans to be a minister) how he knew for sure God existed. We were on the boardwalk at the time and he said to me: "Look around. Look at the ocean, at the waves--how the tides come and go, at the birds, at the sand, at the sky...and tell me God DOESN'T exist. Do you think all those beautiful things just 'appeared' out of nowhere? No. Someone made them." I've never forgotten his answer and I hope it gives you something to meditate on.

Wouldn't it just be easier to give God the middle finger and tell him to go pound sand? Seriously, what is wrong with society today? What is so harmful about loving your neighbors and following God's commandments?

Fear, I think, is one of Satan's ways of controlling us. It is good to be naturally fearful in some situations...fear helps us run away from danger, for example, if we come across a bear in the woods. But it can also be an illogical emotion or feeling. I'll use myself as an example. I have a terrible time with stage fright. I've felt some promptings lately, though, to play my violin at church and to even speak in church. Just the mere thought of standing up in front of a bunch of people makes my legs shake. I had to make a conscious effort to move past that fear and do as I was asked by God. My obedience to Him has been a blessing for me, though...each time I am in church now, I get more and more comfortable there. If you are obeying God and doing what HE asks of you, then you have nothing to fear. Tell yourself "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength."

I think it's better to casually date without involving the kids. The children shouldn't be involved in the new relationship until you are ready to be engaged. A woman with a kind and loving heart will want to spare your children from the heartache of another break-up and she won't mind waiting to meet them until the time is right. The same goes for you...don't get involved with her kids until your relationship is marriage material. The children should always come first.

To put it in simple terms...faith without works is nothing.