Bini

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Everything posted by Bini

  1. I am so flustered right now. It doesn't help that I'm about to pop and have my baby, either, it's just adding additional stress. Short version. I ordered something handmade and personalised from a lady that seemed reputable. Initially, she was, and I received 2 items from her - no problems. Then a few weeks later, I decided to order a third and decided to go ahead and pay in advance, only I've realised that I did so as "friends/family transaction" and not a "services transaction" via PayPal, which just means if crap hits the fan, I don't get reimbursed. Between the first of October up to now, which, is Oct 3, I've had zero contact with this individual. I cannot reach her via her FB page, she is not responding to messages, and I don't have a physical address or phone number. Oddly, her FB is public and I've been following her wall, and she is actively posting on it! We're not struggling where $20 is going to put us in the poor house, that's not where my frustration stems from, it stems from the lack of courtesy and professionalism. I do have her full name, not sure how far I can go with that, though... I do have the text messages I sent her and receipt of payment to her. I feel like I should be taking some sort of action here, as I don't feel "just letting it go" is the right move, I should be proactive the best that I can be. Then where things fall, they fall. Any advice in what I should do at this point?
  2. My doubts rest on the 7th grader. I would agree with others, seems this situation has been blown out of proportion, in the end this exercise was not well thought out...perhaps.
  3. I'm not terribly interested in Steve Jobs's biography but I am a big fan of Michael Fassbender! He has amazing talent and I think more so than Christian Bale or Leonardo DiCaprio (though both actors are undoubtedly talented in their own right). Anyway, I'll see it just because of Fassy...
  4. My husband and I have played one of the series. We weren't impressed, not our style, pretty raw in all and every aspect. I would not want my son to play such a game if I have any say in it. Thankfully, I'll have a say for awhile, and then he'll be his own man.
  5. I need to brush up on my LOTRs... I was thrown by Faramir for a second but only for a second.
  6. Another good post. There's a lot in here I actually agree with, alike, Vort's comments. I would say, I feel about my husband, as you both do about your wives. Thanks for sharing.
  7. This is similar to Anatess's explanation, literal, and in that sense I agree. Thanks for sharing.
  8. Thanks for adding more to your explanation! I personally didn't find your post offensive, at all, I was just curious about your definitions. They make sense. Thanks again for sharing.
  9. Anatess, I love your explanation of "better half". It's a very literal interpretation and does make sense to me. It's not how I actually use the term but how you explained it, I would agree, hubby and I are different and unequal in many ways - and that's okay.
  10. I relate to this post. Thank you for sharing, Vort. I very much feel the same way when it comes to my spouse. I have used the term "my better half" in describing my husband but to really breakdown what the means to someone outside of our marriage, is difficult, and could easily be interpreted wrongly. I don't see myself lesser to him, or he being of more value than myself, but I do see him as a wonderful example. While he'll disagree because of his modest nature, I would even say that there are many virtues he has that I tend to feel I lack, or need much work on in comparison. He definitely gives me inspiration and motivation. As of now, I only have one child, technically, or at least in the flesh. I am still anxiously awaiting to see how life will be with two children as opposed to just one. For the last four years I have invested all my heart and soul into my daughter, it's been hard to comprehend how my heart would grow in accepting a second child, but I shall soon find out. I don't fear having favourites, as I know each child is their own person and will have their own strengths and weaknesses, and I will love both of them no matter what. (Not sure how to make this last paragraph less corny.) As for god. I see how my father looks to his creator first, followed by his wife, and then his children. While I see things differently, I can affirm that our family - though not perfect - was a loving one with a strong homestead. I'm proud to have a father that has a strong belief, even if I disagree, and continues to be a wonderful parent and grandpa in so many many ways. I think without his faith, he would be a very different man, not necessarily a lost man but not the man he is.
  11. I find your latter statement interesting and was wondering if you'd expand on it some more. Would you give an example of a couple 'forced' or 'obligated' in being together that fit your definition of cheapened love? Would I be wrong to assume something along the lines of an arranged marriage, or perhaps, a couple remaining married for their kids but that's it? Just for the record, I have mixed thoughts on this, and am not entirely in agreement or disagreement. Thanks for sharing :)
  12. Kind of for fun and kind of for thoughtful discussion, too. How do you view your relationship with your spouse and your kids? Do you see your spouse as an equal to you in all things? Or, do you see your spouse as your better half? Maybe you see it the other way around? Are all your children equally loved and fairly treated? Or, do you have a favourite child that is easier to love and isn't required to do much for your affection? If this is the case, is it obvious to the rest of the family, or is it something you keep to yourself? Lastly, who comes first above all else? Your spouse or your children? And why? Could there ever be a scenario that changes this order of importance?
  13. Bini

    Bummed...

    I understand what you've written. That said, my parents have had family friends from overseas visit during the holidays that are not even Christian, and they did not participate in prayers or scriptures after dinner. I don't see how it'd be any different for me being there as their daughter! And even though I don't believe in god, I'm not so rude to walk around or talk during a moment of prayer, I can sit quietly - and if that's not good enough for someone, gees... What's an acceptable amount of tolerance towards a non-Christian that is having dinner at your table and does not participate in prayer? As another day has passed, and I've got excellent feedback from this thread and from just talking it out with my husband, I am feeling okay about visiting just New Years. I think celebrating Christmas at home and doing the Santa thing for my daughter will be nice, we actually haven't had a "just us" Christmas in our new home yet, we've lived here going on three years and the first two years we had family stay. So maybe this is a good thing after all.
  14. Bini

    Bummed...

    Their home is big but not all the kids will be there. I pointed out "ten kids" and our backgrounds to give an idea of why we're not all chummy. The age differences play a big part in that. (Some of the siblings are grandparents...) I consider about four of them actual siblings and the others more like very extended and distant relatives. But for those four siblings, yes, they'll be there.
  15. Bini

    Bummed...

    * I just won't participate.
  16. Bini

    Bummed...

    I should clarify that my family is massive. There are 10 kids, some of us are biological, some of us are blended, some of us are adopted, and our ages range from 29 to 50. I only grew up with my youngest sister and the brother just older than me. I am not close to the others but we are civil with each other. I get along well with my sister but we've butt heads a few times this year, mainly, regarding parenting topics. (She is dealing with infertility issues and a few months ago I said some things that really ticked her off.) My brother, I don't see him often at all, he lives in California and is 7 years older than me, so we're not super close or anything. I guess what I'm getting at is that we're not particularly a tightly knit bunch. The only other thing I can think of, is that my family is nervous about having a newly subscribed atheist/agnostic at the Christmas dinner table, haha. I admit, I have been very vocal with them about not wanting to discuss religion, especially in MY home. I don't care what they do in theirs, and being a guest in theirs, I'm fine with prayers or whatever else they wish to do - I just want participate. I think because my family, overall, is conservative LDS, they're all a bit iffy having me there. Possibly. I mean, aside from my mum's need to keep her house insanely perfect, that's the only other thing I would guess.
  17. In addition, I don't like the attitude that IF you can't afford it, why would you plan for it? I can afford to take all my friends out to dinner and to the movies. But if one of them says they're coming and then don't, it's agreed upon that I'll be reimbursed for buying their plate and movie ticket ahead of time. My "billing", or reminder, would be a PayPal Request to them. I think it's fair.
  18. Just how I feel about it. Simple as that.
  19. These topics really hit close to home for me and not because I'm "liberal" but because I do have people IN my life that live with the challenges of being LGBT. For an individual who has postponed seeking information or help regarding suppressed feelings, such as same-sex sexuality or gender identification, it's a super scary situation and likely not one they're openly going to discuss right off the bat. Even with close friends, family, and yes, even spouses. I understand your feelings of betrayal and frustration, but I'd urge you to continue being loving and listen to whatever your husband needs to say, when he is ready. I'm certain he's not feeling all that fantastic, either, not with how LGBT's are viewed by outsiders. I agree with others, find a support system, and start having those tough discussions about living with a loved one who is homosexual or transgender. I should add, transgender is the transition from one sex to the other, but is not limited to one sexual preference. There are transgender gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals. It's a lot to comprehend and gather but if you're wanting to at least learn what your husband might be dealing with, there are plenty of resources for family members to read up on, groups to join, where you can find that helpful information. You don't have to agree with it, it's just info in explaining a little bit in what LGBT folks are going through. Good luck. Be a friend, be a lover, and be patient.
  20. Disney's Tomorrowland I wasn't excited to see this because I knew ahead of time that it was reviewed as 'mediocre' to outright bad. The beginning was thrilling enough. I was actually interested to see where things we're going. But it didn't take long for it to drag and reach a point of sci-fi that I didn't appreciate much. The concept is a bit challenging to gather, I thought, especially for a family movie. My 4-year old surprisingly made it through and didn't seem to loose focus but overall it just wasn't a fluid movie. I wouldn't watch it again and I wouldn't recommend it, either.
  21. Bini

    Bummed...

    We don't believe she is being forthcoming. She claims that we wouldn't be comfortable on her living room floor and that's why we can't visit during Christmas. My husband and I think the truth is a combination of two things; (1) her tick to have her house presented a certain way, and (2) the idea of guests sleeping on the floor means that she has failed as a host in not successfully accommodating everyone. I believe these are the real reasons and feel that they're a bit selfish. That said, though the whole thing grates on me, I will come to terms with whatever the outcome is and if New Years is our only time to visit - so be it. My parents are older, in their 70's and I don't want to waste any opportunities for them to see their grand kids.
  22. Bini

    Bummed...

    Yes, we could get a hotel room for x amount of days but my husband and I are likely to just visit for New Years. It's not ideal, for us, but at least the grandparents will get to visit with our kiddos even if siblings won't get that chance. After I wrote my initial post last night, I talked it over with hubby some more, and he was able to get me settled down a bit. I never realised how my family functions so differently from others, until being married to my husband, whose family is very close-knit and will cram everyone in one room just so they can all be together. My family is loving but not in that way.
  23. Bini

    Bummed...

    Yes. And I'm not coping well with it, haha. It grates on me more and more everyday leading up to the holidays. I'm trying to refocus my negative energy into positives...I'm not doing a good job, though.
  24. Bini

    Bummed...

    It's been a few years since my family has celebrated the holidays together. When it happens, it's sort of a big deal because my father is often out of country and the siblings are spread all over the place. This year everyone's schedules agreed and Christmas is going to be at my parents'. I have been so excited over this, especially, since this will be the first time my family gets to meet our new baby that's due in about a week. It'll also be nice to see everyone and catch up. Well. Turns out that my husband and I have somewhat been uninvited, as far as, my mum wants us to visit for New Years instead of Christmas. To add to that, all my siblings will be gone by then, so it'd just be us there. Her explanation is that there simply aren't enough bedrooms to accommodate now that everyone has kids. My husband and I told her that we were more than happy to bring our blow-up mattress, a sleeping bag for our toddler, and have baby in a portable bassinet - we'd be fine out in the living area. She shot that offer down fast. She claimed that we wouldn't be comfortable and that baby would be too noisy for everyone (referring to crying bouts) not being in a room. But we can't have a room because none of them are big enough to fit a sleeping bag on the floor and a bassinet. (Which is ridiculous, yes, it'd be a little cramped but we would manage.) Anyway, other siblings got dibs on the guest bedrooms. Knowing my mum, this isn't about us being uncomfortable out in the living area, but more about her need to keep her house a certain way. She doesn't like clutter and having a mattress and sleeping bags in her living room really bothers her. I have my own OCD quirks, so I get it, I do. I guess it just really stinks when you choose that over trying to get all your kids together as a family under one roof for the holidays. So I'm disappointed and a bit hurt. Guess I'll just enjoy the FB pictures of everyone having a blast at my parents' house on Christmas. Yay. Venting over.