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Fill in the blanks.

We had some kids in MN vandalize the church during seminary when they got kicked out of class for being little t***s. (Or maybe I should say BIG ones.) I'm not surprised it was members of the ward that lit the fires. Some kids push to see how far they can go. Lots of times it's spoiled, bored rich kids with not enough chores or responsibilites.

Do people serving in the military get leave for funerals?

Is it official church policy to not allow missionaries to come home for family funerals? Is it up to the mission president or is it a blanket worldwide rule? I have been a missionary, married to an RM, have had brothers and parents serve missions and have a missionary son right now. I'm very familiear with the whole culture of a mission. But it's something I've never understood. It seems harsh. The motivation for asking this question comes from hearing that Elizabeth Smart has to come home from her mission to testify in Mitchell's trial. Wouldn't a family crisis like a death in the immediate family be as important and compelling a reason to come home as testifying in a trial? Feedback? Help me with my lack of faith and understanding about this.

Go on a mission!

So why do they still have "banned" under their names when they post after 7 days? Wouldn't they be unbanned by then? That's like wearing a sign around your neck saying "sinner" after you've repented.

Here is somemore food for thought. Read this blog and have your son read it, too. The parenting secret I am no longer willing to keep

I just had a dear friend get a call from her college son who was sobbing. He went out on a Sat night, made some poor choices and got turned in. He tested positive for drugs. Now he's on probation and might get kicked out of school. He's only two months into his freshman year. Does your son really need to shoot himself in the foot to learn how stupid drugs and alcohol are? Is it really worth it to him to risk everything that way? Here is part of the email this heartbroken mom sent to her son. (By the way this is a "Christian" school somewhere in FL so the rules are probably stricter than a public college.) I couldn't help but wonder if this boy had had the blessing and protection of the gospel and the word of wisdom in his life, he wouldn't be in the pickle he's in now. " First of all, I just want to remind you that we love you – I love you. - I am disappointed, angry, but hopeful – hopeful that this is what you need to slap you into honestly looking at your life and making some better decisions. There’s nothing to say other than you screwed up. I am hopeful that now you will stop and really decide what you want to become. If you decide that once and for all, this is not the life you want – that acting that way put everything that you now want in jeapardy – you need to look for some help. I am hopeful that you will find that God is the one who can give you the strength and wisdom to make good decisions. I am hopeful that you will recognize that the little voice in your head that keeps saying – oh, come on, its just a little, its fun, its cool, everyone else is – is Satan tempting you thru your sin nature. We all sin – we all have different temptations – Satan is “wiley and cunnning” and knows how to most easily trip us up. Do you hear that attitude creeping in? That voice that says “that’s stupid” “it wasn’t a big deal” “why is everyone on my case?” - THAT is Satan’s voice playing on your weakness. I am hopeful that they will give you another chance. I am hopeful that you will take it. I am hopeful that you will see Satan for the deceiver that he is. I am hopeful that if they do give you another chance that you will take it with grace. Understand that it would come with both punishment and correction I am hopeful that you will pick up each punishment and correction – really look at each as an opportunity to grow and learn, pack them carefully in a bag and put it on your back to carry. I hope you understand that they were not given to you in anger, but with the desire to teach and guide you. Then head down the correct path. The way is not wide and easy, but steep, windy and narrow. Satan will be by your side whispering to you : that’s stupid, no one will know – just drop that one bag. But we have a greater assurance – Christ is mightier than Satan – He has defeated him. Call on Him and He will help you. Your load will become lighter and lighter as you walk with Him. I am hopeful that your distress over this isn’t short lived – I hope you remember just how it felt when you had to call each of us to tell us what was going on – I hope this is the stumble you needed to wake you up and cause you to really choose what you want for your life. You are at the very beginning of adulthood – the decisions you make now will determine which way your life will go. I am hopeful that you choose correctly. " I hope and pray your son can avoid the pain and suffering so many kids go through in sowing their wild oats. But if he just can't restrain himself from the partying and alcohol, I hope he survives long enough to come back to his senses. That doesn't always happen. Some kids are scarred for life by their dumb choices as young adults. Best of luck!!

I'm so looking forward to Harry Potter on Nov. 19th. So is this a no no?

Truely I can't see how it is normal given the anatomy of men and women. How can something that opposes the furthering of the species be normal? I honestly can't come up with any reason to believe it's normal. I've tried and tried to get my mind around it and there is no logical explanation. I know it occurs in nature sometimes, but humans aren't mere animals. Anyway, I do believe it's possible to love individuals with all kinds of traits and leanings whether they are "normal" or not. I have certainly gone through some experiences - totally my fault that are very far from normal. As much as I wanted to convince myself that what I was doing was normal and acceptable- it just wasn't AT ALL. But I still wanted and deserved love and acceptance as an individual. But the frank truth is that what I was doing made people VERY uncomfortable and there was no way I could expect people to write it off as no big deal. I didn't. I tried to minimize peoples' exposure to that which I knew made them uncomfortable. I felt very lonely and just crazy sometimes. I even became as close to being suicidal (without having the guts to end my life) as one can get. I just wanted to disappear without actually pulling the trigger. I totally overcame any fear of flying or driving in bad weather because I thought if I die...what a blessing that would be. What we do does affect others and it's ridiculous to expect others to just go on and regard us as "normal" when we're doing something that falls way outside the norm. Gays and lesbians do seem to expect the rest of society to view their attractions as perfectly normal. But ...sorry to say, they just aren't. There is no way around it. I'm sorry if this offends you, but might as well just accept it and get on with life. Doesn't mean we can't love and appreciate you.

OK, there have been firesides. Sorry for not being aware of them. It's the topic of homosexuality as a fireside focus that makes me squirm, not the idea of helping my fellowman or woman. I had heard about Marlin Jensen's meetings with gay and straight members in Oakland. But he went there specifically to deal with those directly involved who were hurt or offended by Prop 8. As reported by one who was in attendance, "Elder Jensen also reiterated his own sincere belief, obviously, in the Church doctrine, and that the way to true happiness is through the gospel. He also made it quite clear that the Church’s position has not changed." The idea is to love those we differ with- not necessarily to accept homosexuality as right and normal.

I didn't say either of those things. They are your assumptions. I'm not dumb enough to think there would be a fireside about gay sex. I just don't think a person talking about his or her struggles with SSA is good fireside material. But it's probably happened somewhere. Like I said, this bishop in my last ward revealed the problems he'd had with his son in a stake RS conference. But the emphasis was on supporting each other through the hardships we face -the rough time he and his wife went through with this. What makes you think I squirm at fulfilling my baptismal covenants?

Panels at firesides and speaking about this in their wards? I think it suffices for us to know that homosexuality exists among members of the church, but I doubt many members want it quite that much in their faces. I don't want details just like you wouldn't want details of anyone elses sexual attractions. A bishop in my former stake gave the heart rending tale of his own son running away from home rather than tell his dad, and how he went after him- literally 500 miles to bring him home. That was enough. I don't think I"m going to be spiritually uplifted by anyone coming out at the pulpit. You may criticize my attitude as being cold hearted and in denial, but I don't want to hear about anyones' abuse at home or binge drinking or dalliances into pornography at church or a fireside either. Hand me some literature to read but lets not make this such an open book that we're all squirming. I don't think the spirit can be there when we're so hyper focused on our weakensses and begging others to accept them. It's just too sensitive a subject. I really think gay members of the church just need to buck up and live the gospel the best they can. I think giving undo attention to this problem in a church setting is only going to weaken them. I think there is such a variation of intensity of homosexual feelings from person to person that it would be foolish to lump them all in the same category and treat them the same. Why give them a pass when what they think is their homosexual tendency (as the world describes it) is for real and inescapable, when it isn't. ( May be for some but not all.) The goal is to help every individual on the earth reach their spiritual and eternal potential. Coddling anyone in their weaknesses isn't going to help. (Like giving them a platform where they can tell us all about their temtaion that they can't overcome. That only reinforces it.) Loving them unconditionally is! Treating them as individuals with the same potential as anyone else to be exalted is helping. Why am I here again? I said goodbye to this thread. It's like any other temptation. I need to just ignore those emails from LDS.net I get and refocus my attention on something else rather than opening it. I think the same goes for our sexual temptations. We need to quickly refocus our attention on what the Lord would have us do rather than giving into the compelling feeling that I HAVE to follow my feelings- which may coming from the adversary anyway. I get the feeling he is laughing and enjoying this whole gay revolution. Makes me sick. C,mon people. WHo do we really believe in? Who's message is truth and who's is a lie?

Everytime one of my little girls brings home a Berenstain Bears book from the school library I want to hide it. Two other books I don't recommend are "Molly's Family" and "Body Drama". I have issues with both of those. Also some of Jodi Picoult's books are captivating stories but there is so much gratuitous profanity that it's uncomfortable and distracting.

I have done that. I've learned and tempered my judgements (believe it or not) through them. I know a whole lot more than I did a year ago. I appreciate their contributions and their patience in trying to get us straight dummies to understand. But at times the spirit is whispering to me that Satan is trying desperately to twist and turn the clear messages of the gospel to confuse people and lead them away. Sometimes I feel that when I read GS's and SS's complaints and justifications. I can't put into words what exactly I'm feeling when that happens, but something tells me that the truth- the way things really are is getting muddled and tangled up and twisted around. It's got a spin to it that sounds correct in the worldy sense- but it just doesn't jive somehow with my spiritual sensibilities. That's why I keep dabbling in this topic on the forums. To see if I can figure out what is getting distorted.Why are so many supporters of the whole gay agenda- be they homosexual or not- getting sucked in? How can LDS homosexuals continue happily in the church (and I believe they can)? How do my own views stack up with gospel truth? How we can possibly reconcile the huge gaps in perceptions. Are my perceptions correct? The only way for me to know is through prayer- and yes I have prayed about this (being a mom and grandma who may have my own progeny "come out" one day- who knows?), and through spiritual promptings. I think that gradually I'm getting a handle on it. Back to the OP- he's absolutely right. There is NO excuse for bullying. The fact that any person wants to take their own life is very tragic. We need to love and support our fellow travelors in this earth experience as best we can. Unfortunately though, just telling gay kids to go ahead and live out their sexual impulses because that's what God intended for them, is not doing them any favors. There is a better way. In every post, I've tried to suggest "other ways" that I believe coincide with gospel teachings- the way Christ would have them handle the challenge. (Service to others, looking outward, focusing on blessings rather than anything lost, realizing that everyone on this earth came imperfect with challenges to overcome, looking toward eternal life rather than getting so focused on the immediate future, etc. ) I don't think a single one of those suggestions is "insensitive" as Gwen accused me of, or impossible or pushing a single person toward suicide. Satan would have gay people think their plight is hopeless, but Christ's way is a bright path full of hope. Oh well, guess that's all I can say or do. I'm done here. That's all folks.

Kudos to this guy!! (Gay) Mormon Guy: President Packer's Talk... From a (Gay) Mormon Perspective

I have already. Not centered on my sexual orientation but another self centered problem. I was gently brought out of this dark place by being assigned to take a very sick lady to her appointments and to visit her on a regular basis. It made all the difference in the world for me.

I think you know the answer to that Gwen. Of course not. There would not be so many suicides if kids/people were taught to focus on looking outward, helping others, lifting someone else rather than wallowing in all the rotten things others are doing to them. Also I'm going to say this here and then run for cover because this is not going to sit well with many. I personally believe the gay community is adding to the suicides by convincing young people that there is no hope for change, that they are only defined by their sexuality and that the LDS hurch hates them and curses them and is squelching their civil rights- that there is no choice but to leave the church or stay and commit suicide. The LDS church is NOT responsible for that message. It didn't originate with any general authority or prophet. It didn't originate with God. It originated with the father of all lies!!

I would just like to see equal "airtime" given for other causes of suicide, too. It just seems that many outspoken homosexuals are so self absorbed that they don't see anyone else as having significant struggles. Sometimes I want to yell "OK WE GET IT! Your gayness isn't your fault. You feel out of place in a church that is so family oriented. You don't like getting picked on. OK OK OK! Now can we solve some of life's other perplexing problems, too? Would you( the homosexual community- if you MUST call yourselves a community) like to help us in our humanitarian efforts? How about poverty and child abuse and genocide and cancer and war and folks suffering from natural disasters, etc, etc, etc! There is so much more to be obssessing about than whether the world accepts that you like boys better than girls or girls better than boys. If you truely want to find peace and happiness in this world, look outside yourself. Look beyond- WAY beyond your sexual orientation. You may not feel like putting an end to your life afterall."

OK, can you just publish the recipe here so we all can enjoy?

Seems to be a really big production of late. I agreed that bullying needs to stop. What's to argue with there? But I think we're getting a little sick of such a big spotlight being shown on homosexuals. Why do they need anymore special protection than any other group of people who have been persecuted and put down?

The world would be a better and more peaceful place with no bullying. Agreed! So what about kids who are overweight, shy, pimpley, slow, clutzy, or brainy who get bullied to the brink of taking their own lives? I think homosexuals are upstaging the rest of insecure kids who are just as much in need of love.

Yes, that's what I meant. Thank you Wingnut. Sorry. I was in a hurry.

It sounds lke a whole host of psychological stuff to me. Every relationship is like that homo or heterosexual. There are some guys I would get physically ill having to holding hands with let alone anything else. There are times I don't want any physical affection from my husband. There are some women- my daughters, that I can hold hands with or give backrubs to and it means something totally different than if they were just other women in general. What about massage therapists or doctors that can touch same gender without being wierded out or opposite gender without it being anything sexual? I guess I still don't "get it" eh? Sorry got to run pick up kids at school.

Isolating celebacy on it's own without all the other aspects of being an LDS homosexual, how is it different than for singles who will never marry. It is absolutely expected for them.