Backroads

Proposal! Proposal!

A few questions for you: 1. Will one income be able to support your family? (I'm not talking about the dirt poor examples, but be able to support you and keep you from sliding into debt even though there might not be as much fun stuff?) 2. Do you really expect the exact same quality of life with kids? 3. Do you have any friends who are a little more kid-friendly?

You continually jump to the pandemic of a few women.

And has been asked, why are you condemning all woman based on what some do? I can't go around stalking all the LDS women in the world to make sure they dress modestly. I have my own salvation to worry about. The problem with this thread is we only get the husband's side.

And how would you reach that conclusion about me? The way you phrased the term "You already left her" implies that he no longer cares for or supports her. I doubt that's true. I think it's all pretty obvious his lack of testimony will affect the temple sealing vow. Yes, he left her that way. But it's apples and oranges to apply that same meaning to an earthly marriage.

I think that is a little harsh. I believe you can be devoted to your spouse save and differ in spiritual views. If he is supportive and respectful of her decision to stay actively LDS and does not think less of her for doing so, I think h would still be a great husband. But if it is this bitter thing "my wife is an idiot for being a Mormon" situation, then yeah, he has left her.

I really hate taking away others' rights. I'm against smoking, but I'm not going to make it illegal at this level. Besides, as has been said, second-hand smoking is somewhat of an overexaggerated risk.

By all accounts, it sounds like her garments are being covered. Granted, that's not the only qualification for modesty. The OP stated he and his wife could not agree on what was modest. Clearly she thinks she's being modest. That shows me there is a perception problem. Once again, no woman wants to wear baggy clothes. Most well-fitting women's clothing attempt to be some degree of form-fitting.

The best part of the paper is the cross only appeared after he complained about the child sacrifices going on in the temple basement.

I suppose it can be pushed through. My husband's first wife demanded a sealing cancellation as well as a plain ol' divorce. She was discouraged against it, but in the end did get her way. As for getting a sealing cancellation... I understood that things can still happen even if ex-spouse refuses to comply, but I think you have to have a pretty darn good reason. As has been said... your friend shouldn't worry too much. If in the eternities all is forgiven and he does respect that sealing... maybe your friend and the ex-wife will be able to embrace each other as well. And if ex-wife is still young... chances are someday she will meet someone with whom she wants to be sealed to and a sealing cancellation will happen anyway.

I'm sufficiently humbled. What was I thinking?

I wonder if it's the... obviously they're associated with the LDS... is this a reception or a wedding?

I remember reading a paper by someone or another that said the Church painted a giant red cross on his lawn--a standard threat from the LDS Church headquarters. I even asked a few antis about that one--they had never heard of this standard red cross.

I don't believe I ever said anywhere on this thread that he was wrong to support his family in the church--in fact, on the contrary I believe I commended him for it. A good man would do that very thing. A not-so-good man would be sneaky and pretending and go behind his family's back to criticize their family for their beliefs. It felt like a lot of your comments were directed at me in the past few posts.

You're comparing apples and oranges. I believe that if you no longer have a testimony and are at terms with that and you are pretending to have a testimony and are baring it... yeah, I'd say that is pretending. If they are struggling with their faith, then I see your point and agree with you. But if it truly is: "I no longer believe, I just like the culture", then there is no struggle. You're at peace with yourself. Why are you bearing a fake testimony? I suspect that someone who is struggling may or may not want to confide in family. But if you are at peace with a decision, why lie? Why pretend just to keep your family happy? Why go behind their backs talking to others about how you don't believe? I think a spouse has a right to know.

I don't know the bride well enough, but I've known the groom literally since the day he was born--and he's not the prankster sort. His bride very well could be. However, thinking about my mental picture of the invitation and its layout... it's possible they just didn't have a lot of room to give every little detail. The invitation's purpose did seem to be inviting people to the reception.

I agree. Mind your own business. It's their testimonies, their spiritual progressions, and ultimately their meeting with the bishop to get the ecclestiastical endorsement. That being said... I don't think there is anything wrong with suggesting apartment prayers/scripture study. You're rooming with a bunch of boys who suddenly find themselves sans mommy/daddy/mission president and may need an example of what they should be doing. But that doesn't give you the right to be mommy/daddy/mission president.

Yesterday, when I was at my family's, we were discussing the less and more tacky wedding invitations on my parents' fridge. Which led to an observation on one of them: We have a friend who is getting married this week. He is a great LDS guy who is marrying a great LDS girl in the temple. However, their invitation doesn't say that. Merely announces bride, groom, and location of the reception. My mother made the comment that several people had, in a hushed voice, ask her if this couple were getting married in the temple. The reception location of an LDS church seemed a little suspicious. Frankly, I don't think it's anyone's business where they're getting married and why, but is it a little more... tactful and less set-up for gossip to just state you're getting married in the temple?

Yes, I know several people that way. These people also are quite upfront they are being mainly social about it and do not pretend to be something they aren't.

So the two of you want to maintain good ties with your family/friends, but you don't actually want to bother with respecting them enough to be honest with them. Is that right?

I once read somewhere that during prayer/meditation/whatever if thoughts are a little too complex, it's probably you're own thoughts and feelings.

This saddens me... though I'm glad she's reunited with her husband. She was one of my favorite LDS authors.

Without being too bold here, I would like to say I may like dressing up in something pretty for myself! My husband has said he's pretty simple that way and mainly cares about the end result of sex so he'll take or leave the lingerie. But it makes me feel pretty and sexy... so everyone's happy. Or maybe I'm just the twitterpated newlywed. Counterfeit of what? No argument there. Marriage is a sacred ordinance of the Lord. We are commanded to become one--and I'm pretty sure that includes the bond of sexual relations. And hopefully good sex is fairly sexy. So... yeah. The sexy part is an integral part of marriage. Since when is sex as a rule addictive and destructive? We're not talking about sex addicts or those who break the law of chastity. We're talking about healthy sexual relations within marriage.

Welcome!

Are these women who like the attention the rule? The OP's wife very well could be one of these women. Or she could not. The information I've been given makes me think it's more likely a perception problem.