classylady

I find it very exciting to think Warp Drive may be possible in the future. Warp drive may actually be possible, NASA scientist says | ksl.com I can't say that I understand all the particulars, but this is truly exciting!

Our Bishop texts. I think he finds it much more convenient than a phone call.

My nephew came home while he was still in the MTC. He was home for about 18 months. He just left to complete his mission about a week ago. He dated while he was home, and has a steady girlfriend. There is hope.

Anatess, I agree. And to take it a little farther, if the biological parent did the same behavior, kids probably wouldn't even have given it a second thought. But, if the stepparent does it, the kids are instantly judgmental. I had a coworker, who was an adult with kids of his own. His mother had passed away a number of years ago, and his father remarried. Coworker would often come into work complaining about the new wife, saying how "crazy" she was. His father seemed to have no problems with his new wife, but the children (all adults) did. I would not have categorized her behavior as "crazy", but maybe a little eccentric. If she was the biological parent, the children probably would have laughed about her idiosyncrasies, and say something like "that's just mom".

Wait! I thought it was jello.

I happened to love my single's ward. I was very much involved with all the activities and had a wonderful time and made many friends. My roommate did not like the single's ward and chose to attend the home ward. We all have different likes and tastes. If you don't like your single's ward, then go to your home ward. My 18 year old son has chosen to remain in our home ward. His best friend chose to go to the single's ward. Go where you are most comfortable.

Also, Windseeker, I was at one time a stepchild. My mother was widowed when I was approximately 7 years old. She had seven children, ranging from ages 15 months to 16 years. When I was in 7th or 8th grade, (does that put me around 14?) my mother remarried. It was not a fun experience for the younger three children--me being the oldest of the three. The older four children did not come to live in the new city and home. The marriage lasted about four months. I admit there was no love between my stepfather and me. I was at that difficult young teen age, where I was difficult to live with, and had no desire to have a stepfather in my life. I was grateful the marriage didn't last. And I'm thinking my stepfather was grateful to be rid of us. We weren't bad, just typical kids. My mother tells me, that she met her ex in the temple about twenty years later. He and his subsequent wife were temple workers and had been happily married for many years. My mother was wondering why it didn't work with her and her ex. I can tell you why--it was the kids. Kids put a whole different dynamic to a marriage. We weren't accepting of him, and he had a hard time dealing with us. Maybe, if they had stuck it out, and had discussions with us about our behavior, it could have worked out in the long run. Who knows what could have been? I will reiterate what I said in an earlier post. Your wife needs to know that she is absolutely number one in your life. She needs to know that the two of you are a team.

That deserves more than a "thank you for your useful post". Thank you! For those of you who don't know, many years ago, Annewandering and I worked together at the Genealogical Library in SLC.

I haven't been subjected to a lot of "mormon bashing". But, at one time I had a job where the work environment had a definite anti-mormon sentiment. (And this was in Utah, mind you.) I found that my reaction to this was sorrow, not anger. I try in all my actions to portray what Christ would have me do. I try to love others as Christ would love them. I try to be an example of love and charity, so that my example will be a "light", shining in the darkness. I admit, I don't always have the right Spirit with me at all times. But, I do make a conscious effort. I want nonmembers or members who are struggling with their testimonies, to be able to look at me, and see me as a good example of the "true believers". I don't ever want to be the cause of someone leaving the church, or to never investigate the church.

If it was you that had said you weren't interested in seeing your son's game, would everyone be so quick to be judgmental? More than likely, everyone would have thought, "dad's tired", or something similar, and allowed you your moment of poor behavior. Unfortunately, stepmom doesn't get that same degree of tolerance. I'm afraid that I would shut you down too, if my imperfections were brought up. And I can see where your wife feels that everyone is blaming her. They probably are. Being a stepparent is hard!!! For some reason, the stepparent isn't offered the same degree of tolerance for imperfections that a biological parent is given.

Hi Windseeker. I'm the stepmother to two amazing children (girl and boy). My husband had full custody of his two children when I married him. His children were 4 and 2 years old at the time. So, I pretty much raised them. I'm thinking, because they were so young when I married their father, that they had an easier time in accepting me. I did the disciplining along with my DH. That probably would not have worked if they were older when I married their father. DH and I had 5 children together, and we raised all 7 children together. For the most part, things went rather smoothly. But, we did have our issues. My stepchildren visited their biological mother a couple times a month. We had to go to court to set up visitation. Their mother wanted to come and get the kids without any warning, and I needed to have advance notice. Court decreed she needed to give a month's advance notice. When my stepdaughter became a teenager, it did get harder. She tended to be very judgmental, and most things I did (in her view) could not measure up to her biological mother. So, there was tension, but I ignored it for the most part, and did my best to show my love for her. My stepson didn't go through that emotional phase that teenage girls seem to. Both are in their 30's now, both return missionaries, and now both married. My stepson, says that he always looked at me as his mother, not his biological mother. He loves his biological mother, but he says "you're the one who raised me, not her". My stepdaughter just told me several months ago, that she felt like she could never mention her biological mother in our home. And I apologized to her that she felt like she couldn't. She loves me too, and when she got married this past April, she made sure both biological mother and I had equal say in all her wedding plans, etc. (We, the mothers, were the ones to set up all the wedding details since my stepdaughter was living in So. Korea, and getting married here in the States). Now, about love for stepchildren. I love my stepchildren with all my heart. I sacrificed for them, just like I did my own biological children. I treated them like my own. I would have given my life for them, just like I would for my own. But, I can tell I didn't bond with them when they were infants. And they didn't bond with me as infants. Without that bonding, I can tell there was a difference. And I think for my stepdaughter, she had that bonding with her biological mother as an infant. Naturally, as a person I am not perfect. Neither is the biological mother. But for some reason, it was much easier for the stepchildren to forgive the biological parent all her idiosyncrasies and faults, than it was to forgive me my own. I'm thinking it's because of the bonding. There was love in our home. Disrespect for parents/adults was not tolerated. There was bickering amongst all the children, but nothing over-the-top. There were four boys total, and yes they were a handful. The three girls all had their emotional teen years. I'm thinking you need to set absolute rules about respect. Even if your children don't agree with their stepmother, they need to respect her. And she needs to respect them too. She needs to tell them she loves them. They need to hear it. Even if they don't want it, they need it. Do a little analysis of your situation. Are the children more tolerant of your mistakes than they are of your wife's? It could be because of the lack of bonding, not necessarily the lack of love. You need to support your wife. I don't know how old your youngest is. But, eventually these children will be grown and gone. They need to know that you and your wife are a team. Your wife needs to know that the two of you are a team and that she is absolutely number one in your life. Your children, you and your wife all need to become a team/partnership--a family. Do things together, as a family, that will help you become that partnership/family. Go on vacations or camping together. Find something that you can tag as "your family's". Learn to have fun and laugh together. This will help bond all of you together. It's okay to make mistakes, but acknowledge the mistakes. Learn to apologize. Learn to ask for forgiveness and tolerance. This needs to be done by all parties. Be upfront with the children. Bring issues (without pointing a finger at someone specifically), and ask all for help in finding solutions. There was some contention between my husband and myself when I felt he was choosing his ex-wife's wants/needs over my wants and needs. It did some damage to our marriage that still hasn't healed. There are no easy answers when emotions are involved. Good luck!

She can always request to have the sealing cancelled. Don't know if it would be granted or not, but why not try?

Back to the original post, whenever I have contemplated how God works, I have always felt that God uses natural laws (physics) to bring to pass His purposes. I believe there are many principles and laws that we have yet to discover, and perhaps may never discover. Maybe there are some things that "man" is not meant to know while in this mortal time period.

Maybe your marriage is too far gone for this to help, but the books "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, and "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F. Harley, Jr. have really helped my husband and me. It sounds like your needs have not been met. In my marriage, it's fairly easy to meet my husband's needs. It's him meeting my needs that seems to be the problem. Just keep in mind that a divorce does not solve all problems. You'll be swapping one set of problems for another set. Even if you divorce, with children involved, the father of your children will always be a part of your life. I hope things will get better for you. I'm sure you've already been praying for answers. Sending you hugs.

I third it.

My DH would probably love this.

I don't know, a bacon (or any other meat) cheesecake just sounds wrong!

There have been times when I had to take my kids to day care. I've had to work off and on, and then also when I went back to school full time I had to get a sitter. For the most part, my kids were well taken of, and all went well. The last sitter I hired, was when I was in school. I would take my infant son to the sitter, dropping him off in his car seat. Four or five hours later I would be back to pick him up, and he would still be in his car seat. It looked like he was never taken out of it. After a week of this, I called my Mom and explained what was happening. I was crying, and so upset. The thought of my baby just staying in the car seat for all those hours without any interaction was breaking my heart. My mother was upset too, and she began driving to my house to watch my baby. It was a 45 minute drive for her, each direction, a true sacrifice on her part. I can never repay my mother back for all she did. Just knowing he was being cared for by someone that loved him and would nurture gave me great peace of mind. I don't want to feed your fears about taking your child to daycare. For the most part, they are wonderful people. Do your research, and all should be fine. But, if there seems to be any problems, trust your instincts and find someone else.

One of the main purposes of the Temple is the sealing of families. When a husband and wife are sealed together, their children have the privileges and blessings of the sealing covenant. I personally don't know what all those blessings and privileges entail. But this I know from the scriptures: Malachi 4:5-6 "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." D&C 2:2-3 "And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming." And D&C 138:48 "Foreshadowing the great work to be done in the temples of the Lord in the dispensation of the fulness of times, for the redemption of the dead, and the sealing of the children to their parents, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse and utterly wasted at his coming." The whole earth will be smitten with a curse and utterly wasted at his coming if temple work is not done? This sounds very dire indeed. And I have to ask myself, "why would the earth be cursed and wasted if temple work is not done? Obviously, temple work is essential to the Plan. The sealing of parents/children is part of God's plan. He wants us to have the blessings of the sealing covenant. As a parent, I find great comfort in the sealing covenant. Boyd K. Packer has said this: “It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should. “It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled. … “We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them” (“Our Moral Environment,” Ensign, May 1992, 68). This has great meaning and comfort for me. I had a 19 year old daughter die in a car accident. She was an unwed mother and left behind a 2 month old baby son. Not only do I know that I will see her again in the next life, but I know that through the atonement of Christ, her sins will be forgiven, as will mine. I know that through the sealing covenant, she is bound to me and my husband. Does that mean she will live within our household in the next life? Probably not. She will have her own. But, she is still bound to me and my husband through the sealing covenant and there is a familial structure within God's family. What a wonderful blessing this is! Just knowing that the Lord wants us to bind our families together through the sealing covenant is good enough for me. I have faith/trust that there is a purpose behind the Sealing. I want to do all in my power to follow what the Savior would have me do.

Wow! I'd love to see that many parks. Don't know if I could handle it on a motorcycle though.

One of the most spectacular scenes I've ever seen is the Grand Canyon's Tuweep/Toroweap overlook, Toroweap/Tuweep Area - Grand Canyon National Park. It's about a 3000 ft. straight drop to the Colorado River. There are no railings, so safety is definitely a must! It's about 60 miles of dirt road to get there. You better have good tires. I never had 4 wheel drive when I've driven it. Last time I went, I took my teenage kids, a nephew, and no hubby. On the way back, there was a rattlesnake crossing the road. Strangest rattler I've ever seen. It was greenish color. I've since been told that it was probably a Mojave Rattlesnake. I've never posted a photo before, so I hope I'm doing this right. .

Over Labor Day weekend my family made a trip to Yellowstone and Teton National Park. It was beautiful! I've been there several times, the last time about 10 years ago. It's only about a 5 to 6 hour drive from my home, so I don't know why we don't visit more often. My DIL had never been to Yellowstone, so it was fun to show her some of our favorite spots. I love our nation's National Parks. Along with Yellowstone and Teton, some of the parks I've been to are Zions, Bryce, Arches, Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, Redwoods, Lassen, Glacier, Great Basin, and Capitol Reef. I've overlooked Canyonlands, but haven't actually been inside the park. Some day I'd love to visit Yosemite. What are some of the parks you've been to, and what's your favorite?

My son had two friends over last night. They, along with DH devoured the chili. I couldn't eat my bowlful. I asked my son how he liked the chili. He says he liked the thickness of it better than my thinner chili. I guess in the future I need to thicken my chili a little more. It's a creation in progress. But, I won't be adding canned meat chunks to it.

I would have said the same up until about 10 years ago. After years of hating onions, I now enjoy them--in moderation. DH will eat a whole onion.

DH and I, after 30 years of marriage usually have a good relationship in the kitchen. For certain meals we work side-by-side. Whenever we have roast, I get it out of the freezer to thaw out. He is the one that salts and peppers it, and puts in the oven. I peel the potatoes, he cuts them up and puts them in the pot. When they're done, he drains the water, and mashes them. He also makes the gravy. I make any vegetables and salad we have with the meal. Plus, I bake the rolls if we're having rolls. It goes pretty seamlessly. Thanksgiving, pretty much the same as above, except switch the meat to turkey. All the side dishes, I'm the one preparing most of them, along with all the pies.