classylady

Members
  • Posts

    2262
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    4

Everything posted by classylady

  1. If what you are saying is true, why are you willing to try to save a marriage where he shows so little respect for you, that he is willing to cheat? It sounds to me like you have some self-esteem problems. And as for being unable to heal until he admits his cheating, why is that so important? Do you need to hear him say he's sorry? The truth may be that he isn't sorry. It takes both partners to try and make a marriage work. If he isn't willing to work on the marriage, what can you do? In my husband's first marriage, his wife had several affairs. He tried to make the marriage work until he actually caught her in the act. I guess that was his wake up call--his ah-ha moment. That's when it became real, and he realized that he did not want to have a wife that had so little disregard for him that she was willing to cheat. He realized that he did not want to be in a marriage where his partner didn't respect the marriage covenant. I can understand trying to make a marriage work when there are children involved. But it sounds like your daughter is grown. You need to have an adult conversation with him where there is no yelling or accusations. Just discuss in an adult manner what you both want out of your relationship. It may be that you want two different things. Be adult about it, and get on with your lives.
  2. I wonder if the experiences of Job were the buffetings of Satan? Or did the Lord just allow physical nature to take its course? And of course we need to be careful not to judge. Just because calamity befalls a person does not mean they are not righteous.
  3. Being delivered over to the buffetings of Satan is definitely something to avoid. I wonder if part of the buffetings of Satan could be the heartache and problems that follow from choosing a lifestyle that is not centered on Gospel principles? Or is that just the consequences of that lifestyle?
  4. I too served a mission, and it was very difficult. At my mission farewell, I remember my older brother, in his talk, telling me, "If you knew how hard this is going to be, you probably wouldn't go". And maybe I'm a Pollyanna, yet with all the hardship and difficulties, I can still say "It was the best two years" (1 1/2 years actually) of my life. I loved the people I served, even though most of them didn't get baptized. I loved my companions, even though we definitely had our differences. I loved my mission president, even though he was very opinionated with certain areas of the gospel. None of us are perfect. Our leaders aren't perfect. The Lord uses us as his tools--imperfect tools to further His work. Even if you only had one convert, (and that convert may be you, yourself), then your mission was successful. I commend all the missionaries who persevere and complete their missions. That in-of-itself is success. Missionaries are sent to serve. And sometimes, it may be a companion that you will be serving--helping them with their own struggles and weaknesses. And for me, one of the most difficult parts of my mission was learning, very clearly from my companions, just what my weaknesses were. I remember a particularly very difficult time while on my mission. No need to go into particulars, but I was feeling so down, unloved, and with an overall feeling of not accomplishing anything. I was on my knees, and praying so hard for comfort and guidance. While I was praying, I literally felt someone give me a hug, but no one was in the room with me. After that experience, circumstances didn't get any better, but I knew that I wasn't alone, and I knew that the Lord was mindful of my joys and sorrows. There were other times when I prayed for help and guidance, but didn't receive that same sort of assurance. Sometimes, our faith needs to be strengthened. And the Lord will answer our prayers in the best way for us, not the way we particularly want them answered. I came home from my mission with an absolute conviction and testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. I wish I could say that with that testimony came a person who lived a perfect life. But, unfortunately I made and still make mistakes in my life. But, I know who my Savior is. I know where to turn for comfort. I know repentance and the atonement are real. That was the greatest blessing of my mission--my testimony. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
  5. What do you think the "buffetings of Satan" are? I've been reading D&C 82 and in verse 21 it says "And the soul that sins against this covenant, and hardeneth his heart against it, shall be dealt with according to the laws of my church, and shall be delivered over to the buffetings of Satan until the day of redemption." Just curious if anyone has any ideas?
  6. I believe that every area has its good and bad points. A lot has to do with your own attitude. If you're unhappy where you live and hate all your neighbors, you'll have the same problems where you move to. If you love where you live and love your neighbors, you'll probably love your new area and love your new neighbors. Decide what's important to you, such as schools, the commute, distance from family, rural vs urban, etc. Do some investigating, and then depending on your price point, start looking for homes in the area that best fits your needs. In the Real Estate business they say location, location, location is everything. And what my perfect location is, may not be yours. I've lived in the Millcreek area of SLC. Loved it. Olympus Cove area-loved it. Midvale-loved it. Kearns-loved it. Centerville-loved it. Bountiful-loved it. Currently live in Highland in Utah County. Love it. I have a son that lives in Bluffdale (Perry Farms) area. He loves it. I have a daughter and a son that just bought homes in Eagle Mountain. They were able to get into bigger homes for their money. They haven't been there long, but so far I think they like the area. I commuted from Highland up to the SLC airport for about 10 years. I put up with the commute because I love where we live. And compared to my 35 min. commute every day, when I look at some of the commute times in larger metropolitan areas, it really wasn't that bad. My husband and I chose Highland because it pretty much put us within commuting distance from jobs in both SLC area and the Provo area. And it put us half way between his family in Davis County and my family in the Payson area--45 minutes each direction. So, decide what's important to you--and just go for it. Right now is a great time to buy a home!
  7. I understand your concerns because I have the same issues. My husband was sealed to his first wife and after she had several affairs and was excommunicated from the church he divorced her. He received custody of their two young children. We married civilly and were later sealed in the temple. Prior to our sealing my husband requested a sealing cancellation from his former wife. The answer he received was "It is not necessary". That was over 28 years ago. So, even though I went to our sealing with some misgivings I'm grateful that my husband and I were sealed together. I'm grateful that our five children that we've had together and my two step-children that I've raised have the blessings of the sealing covenant in their lives. This is truly a blessing in their lives and in mine. But, with that said, here are some of the concerns. First, I believe that I cannot judge his ex-wife. I have to assume that she will repent and will some day have her temple blessings restored. And whether if it's in this life or the next, I do not know. From my understanding of the gospel there is repentance in the next life. And we have been promised that those who have strayed, who have the sealing covenant in their lives, will some day hear the whisperings of the spirit and return. Also, along with not judging, I do not have a full understanding of what has happened in her life for her to make the decisions that she did--perhaps she was never taught correctly, or maybe she has a mental dysfunction, etc. It is not my place to judge. So I have to assume that she will inherit the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom. My step-children love their mother and are so concerned for her. And because I love my step-children as my own, their sorrows and joys are also my sorrows and joys. I will rejoice along with them when she has her temple blessings restored to her. I also know that when she asks my husband for forgiveness, that he will give it to her. That is only right, and I wouldn't expect anything else from him. So, where does that put me? Will I be placed in the position of being the second wife in the eternities? My husband and I have discussed this in depth. He claims that even though he has already forgiven his ex-wife, he has no desire to have her as a wife in the next life. And we have been promised that we will not be forced to be with anyone we don't want to be with. I just have to have the faith that this is what will happen. And I need to exercise faith that everything will work out for the best and we will have true joy and peace in the next life. There is no doubt in my mind that being sealed is one of the greatest blessings that our Father has for us. I am so grateful for the sealing covenant. Several years ago our nineteen year old daughter was killed in a car accident. I can't imagine the sorrow I'd feel if we hadn't been sealed. There is so much peace and comfort in knowing that we can be an eternal family. Isn't that what you want for yourself? Place your doubts and fears in the hands of the Lord. He will guide you. He will bless you. And sometimes, like me, we go ahead and do the right thing, even when there are a few misgivings. Bless you. I hope all goes well.