classylady

Last night I had the opportunity to attend the baptism for an excommunicated neighbor. This was one of the most spiritual experiences I have ever witnessed! I Visit Teach his wife, and so I know how special this is to her and the family. She was in tears practically the whole evening. This is something he has diligently worked towards for some time. And last night, I could see his spirit just shine. After the baptism, confirmation, and then ordination of the Melch. Priesthood (Elder), he was given the opportunity to bear his testimony. It was wonderful. He told of his experience of how he originally received his testimony, (it was a powerful one), and then how he turned away from that and listened to Satan, and made choices which eventually put him in prison. He publicly apologized to his wife, children, and grandchildren, and then thanked them for being patient with him. He expressed his love, and then expressed his testimony again. I came away with such a spiritual high! I love this neighbor and his family. It's such a joy to see repentance and the atonement work in this gentleman's life. I have no questions for the forum, just wanted to share!

22 years ago when my husband and I first moved into our smallish Utah town, there were about 6 or 7 wards. We now have around 39 wards. Our particular street that we live on seems to be the dividing line for the wards. One ward division, took our neighbors across the street. The next division, our side of the street was included. Next division, put our whole street back into the original ward. The next division after that we were put into the ward we were in prior to the last change--confusing? So, while we've been in the same house, we've been in the 4th, 17th, 3rd, 4th, and 3rd wards--in that order. The ward boundary changes were particularly difficult for my children. My children seem to associate with the kids they go to church with, and it was very hard for them to no longer be in the same ward as their friends. For my husband and me, our social life seems to be with the ward. So, whenever a division was made, it's like an invisible wall goes up, and we never see our old friends/neighbors anymore--or at least very seldom. It seems like there are tears every time there's a division. We're a very close-knit neighborhood. The division before last, our Stake President apologized to our street and promised we wouldn't be the dividing line anymore. He kept his promise. But, we now have a new Stake Presidency.

As the weather gets warmer, start checking out the yard sales. Sometimes I can find some great stuff for almost nothing.

When I was a teenager (many, many, many years ago), and I noticed I was saying swear words in my mind, I decided to change those words for something rather innocuous--like "monkey's feet", or "dog's breath", or something else just as cheesy. This even helps me to this day. I love to sing along with songs, and there's a particular Gwen Stefani song, "Hollaback Girl", that I love to sing along with. I'll sing "Ship" instead of the actual word, and sing it loud enough to drown out the actual word. My teenaged daughter thought I was weird! (I probably should have switched the song to a different song. Never said I was perfect). It's hard when you're in an environment where you're surrounded by bad language. My own experience has been, that at first I would cringe whenever I heard a bad word, then I stopped cringing, and then started thinking those words in my mind. Luckily I never got to the point where I was actually saying the words. But, I don't even want those words in my mind! And now days, you hear the bad language wherever you go. I feel bad for the kids in high school. It's so prevalent.

Sometimes I let my feelings run rampant and have a one person (myself) "pity party". I'll sit and mope for awhile and think about my woes, maybe even cry, and then I get on with my life. Reading my Patriarchal Blessing, scriptures, and praying will usually help me feel better. There are a few problems and feelings that I bottle up inside of me (sometimes for years) and then my poor husband gets the brunt of the explosion! I'm usually even-tempered, so for me to get upset, means something pretty drastic has happened. After the death of my 19 year old daughter, grief was a constant for a number of years. As long as I stayed busy, I was okay. It would be in the quiet moments--like driving to and from work, right before falling asleep, that grief would consume me. I would just have to take my mind to a different place and do a lot of praying. Every individual is different, so you just need to find out what works for you. It'll probably be a combination of things. Good luck!

Morningstar, I'm glad you mentioned the Ensign article "Fidelity in Marriage: It's more than you Think" Sept. 2009. This is such a great article! I remember after reading that article, that I then read it out loud to my husband. It's such a good reminder about setting boundaries with coworkers, friends, etc. Thanks for the great post!

I would think the scriptures would be critical. I think of Lehi/Nephi and how they were commanded to return to Jerusalem to get the brass plates so their posterity would not dwindle in unbelief. Didn't the brass plates also have the genealogy of their fathers on it. So maybe also family/personal history would be important to take.

Any one of those could happen. No one knows. Whatever disciplinary action is given to one person may not necessarily be what happens to another because circumstances in the lives of individuals are different--different levels of sin, testimony, repentance, sorrow, etc. The Lord knows what is best for you in order to fully repent and come back to Him clean and pure. One needs the attitude of "Whatever needs to happen in order to fully repent, is what I want". It takes a lot of humility and submissiveness to give ones self over to the will of the Lord.

My mother was widowed at the age of 38 with 7 children--ages 1 to 16. And we lived on a dairy farm. Talk about struggles--she went to work full time as a secretary, plus did the housework, milking, mucking, haying, and everything else that went into farming. My two older brothers helped with the farm, and the older girls helped with the housework. Mom could only keep that up for four years. We ended up selling the farm. No one seemed to bat an eyelash at her being a single mother with all that responsibility. I hope when she gets to the other side, the Lord has prepared a "Mansion" for her, because she surely deserves it. All single parents, male or female, have my full respect. I do have concerns about having a man living in the same house with a teenage girl. Friends of our family allowed a male co-worker/friend, who was separated from his wife and struggling financially, to come and stay with them. They found video tapes of the co-worker/friend having sex with their 15 year old daughter. The co-worker, no longer a friend, was jailed for rape. My husband and I happened to know this man very well, (he and his wife had lived with us for awhile too) and would have never guessed that he would do something like this. Whenever you have someone come live in, whether it be male or female, you just never know what might happen. I know the Lord is aware of your struggles. I like the idea of talking with your Bishop. See if he has any suggestions.

Lost_One, I feel it was definitely the Spirit that you felt. I often hesitate to comment on a post because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing, or perhaps even worse, drive someone away from searching for the truth. When I read your post and saw your name, a song came into my head "Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd". Dear to the heart of the Shepherd, Dear are the sheep of his fold; Dear is the love that he gives them, Dearer than silver or gold. Dear to the heart of the Shepherd, Dear are his "other" lost sheep; Over the mountains he follows, Over the waters so deep. Out in the desert they wander, Hungry and helpless and cold; Off to the rescue he hastens, Bringing them back to the fold. I know the Savior loves you. I hope you'll listen to the Spirit, and that you'll have the desire and strength to come back. It sounds like you have some particularly challenging struggles, so I know it will be hard for you. Start by praying and reading the scriptures. When you move to your new area, find out who your Bishop is and ask for his help and guidance. You may even want to talk to your current Bishop. We all have challenges and struggles in our lives, and some of them may seem overwhelming. I know that when I'm closer to the Lord, while my problems don't go away, they are more bearable. I think it's wonderful of you for being willing to move to another city to help with your autistic son. I hope all goes well for you!

I've had the opportunity to do both--work and be the homemaker. I've been the breadwinner while my husband was in school, and during several occasions while he was between jobs. For many years we have also been a two-income earner family, just to make ends meet. My husband supported me in my decision to return to college so I could complete my degree. I pretty much started over because it had been so many years since I had been in school. It took my five years to complete, had my fifth child during finals week of one semester, and still managed to take care of the other six children we had at home (that includes two step-children). There have also been times when I've been a full time homemaker. My experience is that working outside of the home is MUCH easier than staying home and taking care of the house and children. I don't know how anyone can say that running after a toddler all day, cleaning the house and then having everything undone within the hour of cleaning, changing diapers, breastfeeding, wiping runny noses, soothing crying babies, endless laundry and dishes, etc. etc. etc. is easy! Now, what do I prefer? I loved being paid for a job well done--having that income coming in felt so satisfying. I enjoyed dressing up, being the professional, talking with my co-workers, (adult talk), and doing my job and so on. But, for me, being home for my infant baby, and being able to cuddle that baby while breastfeeding, tending to my toddlers woes and mischievousness, being home when my teenagers came in from school, saying "Mom, are you here?", and I can say "I'm downstairs doing laundry", or whatever I might be doing, to me, this is priceless! No one loves my children like I do. No one can give them the same kind of love that I can--not even my husband. I'm not saying he doesn't love the kids, but he doesn't give them the same kind of attention that I do. His love is just as important to the kids as mine, but his interaction with the kids is different. In our situation, I'm definitely the nurturer. So, even though I dislike housecleaning, I much prefer being home full time. Over the years, I've had to do whatever was right for our family at that particular time. Pray about the circumstance that you're in. Let the Lord know how you feel. You'll receive an answer to your prayers. And sometimes, we have to do things we would prefer not to. But, if you know it's the right thing to do for your family, at that particular time, you will be at peace with your decision. Good luck!

Thanks, Changed. Yes, that makes perfect sense. And, I did go back to school and finished my college degree while I was in my 40's. That was definitely just for me. It's strange, I'm very secure and have high self-esteem in a number of areas. For example, standing in front a crowd and giving a talk, teaching adults, writing a term paper and sharing it in front of a class, I'm very secure about doing. But in my relationship with my husband my self-esteem definitely took a nose dive. We're working on it. By talking about the things that have happened in the past, it has helped a great deal. But, I think my husband wishes some things hadn't come out in the open. Even though I've been hurt, I'm still glad he's been honest with me. To me, that's more important.

Thanks for sharing! Beautiful!

If I understand what you're saying, you feel your Patriarchal blessing refers to you going to the Temple after you have children? Interpretation of a Patriarchal blessing can take years to understand, and sometimes, different meanings can come into play as time goes by, and as we progress spiritually. I've understood Patriarchal blessings can have meanings that reach into the eternities--forwards and backwards. My feeling is, (and these are my thoughts only) that you have children who are waiting to come into mortality--and as such, you are their parents to be. I think your blessing is speaking to you as a parent. But, it is up to you to interpret your own blessing--through prayer, and sometimes just by living life.

Whoa! Definitely can sing. But a he or a she? I wonder if there's an English translation?

Great article. It makes me wonder how many Americans have actually read it? Or how many will?

Another person you need to consider is your current husband. How does he feel? Is he feeling bad because he is not involved with the baptism/confirmation? What kind of relationship does he have with your son? If it is close, then of course your son would want him involved, and I would assume your husband would want to participate. Will your husband feel like you are siding with your ex instead of him? I think these are all questions you need to consider. And if your son wants your husband to do the confirming, I would strongly consider that request. It is your sons baptism and confirmation. It would be a wonderful way for son and step-father to have good memories together. Some step-parent and step-child relationships are so strained. And especially if your husband is really the father figure in your sons life, what an honor that would be to him.

Slamjet, thanks for the reminder to be compassionate and Christlike in our responses.

You have my sympathy, Jennarator. You are walking on eggshells. It sounds to me like your son and his step-dad have a good relationship. And it seems to me like your ex doesn't like this. How is he going to stop a good relationship between them from happening? Not allow the step-father to baptize or confirm the boy? Sounds like it's too late, the good relationship between them is already there. Why cater to your ex? Yes, he is the father of your son, but it sounds like he has made some poor decisions that has led to the predicament he's in. There are consequences to choices, and one of the consequences may be divorce, and if children are involved, then step-parents may come into play, and your children may come to love a step-parent. I understand that may be a hard pill to swallow. I see the baptism or confirmation as a good bonding moment that could happen between your son and his step-father--your husband--the man your son probably interacts with more than his birth father. Why deny the two of them that bonding moment? If the father was worthy to baptize/confirm his son, it would be a different matter. But, he isn't. It's very hard to know where to draw the line.

My husband found out about his ex-wife's first affair by the other spouse calling and telling him. He says it was gut-wrenching! Justme39, I can understand wanting to "lash out". And, I think years down the road, you'll probably regret being the one to tell the other spouse. The hurt of a spouse's betrayal is so unbelievable. Sometimes things are done that you regret later down the road. From what my husband has told me, even though he was the one betrayed, he regrets some of the things he did, which at the time he thought was justified.

How about video taping a funeral in the chapel? Several years ago a family in the ward requested my husband to video tape the funeral of their teenage son. No one in the bishopric/stake presidency stopped my husband. He had the equipment set up on a tripod, etc., so it was obvious. This was not a discreet little recorder. Was that just an error made on everyone's part?

Beefche and Wingnut, yes, I think semantics of the word "recording" is what I was having a problem with. I personally have never used a recording device to record a blessing, but my mother-in-law has written down blessings in short hand and then later wrote it out for me. I didn't ask for this, I think she just felt it was a nice gesture. There have been a few blessings that I wish I would have written down, so I could have remembered them better. I particularly remember a church calling I had where I felt so overwhelmed and so not qualified. When I was set apart by my bishop, I know I was given certain blessings to help me with my calling, but I could not remember them at a later date when I was going through a particularly rough patch. It would have been nice to be able to reread what I was promised to help me with my feeling of inadequacy.

MarginOfError, I'm still a little confused by the word usage of "Recording". I understand that the Church does not transcribe, commit to writing, or tape certain blessings and ordinations for an official "record". But to me that is different from a family member in an unofficial capacity wanting a copy (record) for their personal/family history. I might possibly want a "record" of the blessing written down in my history. Whether if I get it by short hand, taping (recording), or simply by memory, and then writing it out, I don't see any problem. To me that is "recording" the blessing, unofficially. Anyone else see my problem with the word usage of "recording", and how it has different meanings?

I'm wondering that when using the term "recorded" here for other ordinances simply means the church does not keep an official copy--"record" of the blessing. I don't particularly read this to say we can't record (tape) the blessing for our own purposes.

In 1 Corinthians 15:51,52 it says "Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." I interpret that to mean after death, and then after the interval when we are in paradise/spirit prison, we will be resurrected, in which we are changed--"in the twinkling of an eye". Of course my mother sees that differently--she'll be changed immediately at death. I'm just wondering if there are any references, either scripturally or in church history where it is interpreted as my mother sees it?