Leah

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Everything posted by Leah

  1. And sometimes separation fuels a person's selfishness. They start to enjoy doing what they want, when that want, without having any responsibility or obligation to spouse or children. They focus on that and the seeming "glamour" of the single life and lose sight of the important things. I have heard more than one expert say that separation is rarely beneficial to a marriage.
  2. So you want advice on how to tell your wife that you 've made a unilateral decision to bail on the marriage and go off in search of "happiness"? Like there's a good way to do that?
  3. The "returned missionary" label is meaningless in this instance, IMO. A returned missionary should know better than to date a married woman. The fact that someone once served a mission is no guarantee that they are currently living a moral life, and this guy clearly is not. There are plenty of guys who never served a mission who have better morals than this guy.
  4. I have never understood why some (a lot) people think that just because they moved out of the house, they are now magically single and available. If there hasn't been a divorce, then you are still married. But people like to ignore facts when they get in the way of their selfishness. Your wife is setting a terrible example for the children. Unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do about how she chooses to use her agency. You can, however, continue to do the right thing and set a correct example for your children of how to live correct principles. They wii notice.
  5. I have no idea what advice to give. He sounds really, really immature. And selfish. Wants to do only what he feels like doing and not accepting of any responsibilities. He needs to grow up but I have no idea how that could be accomplished when he shows no interest in being an adult.
  6. Unemployment is stressful. I never expected it to happen to me when I went through it for about a year, a few years ago. Where are you looking for work?
  7. So what you are saying is that the "rules" for the sabbath are different just because you are on vacation?
  8. It is totally doable to avoid restaurants on the sabbath when traveling. Millions of Orthodox Jews do it on a regular basis. And that includes no actual cooking on the sabbath. I did it for years so, yes, I do speak from personal experience. And you can still eat very well. If the OP chooses to maintain the practice of not patronizing restaurants on the sabbath while traveling, I don't see why he should be criticized for HIS choice when everyone here is all about being allowed to make THEIR choices.
  9. I was baptized three years ago, in my early 50s. It's definitely not too late. I don't have family in the church. My only child is grown and not interested. It can be difficult at times, being an "older" single person in such a family-oriented church. From conversations I have had, the men have an easier time of it. It's worth the struggle,though.
  10. Are you saying that Heavenly Father is not capable of being perfectly just in these matters? That you would be able to make a better judgment than Heavenly Father could? I am confident that Heavenly Father knows and understands things we never could, and that he will be just in all things.
  11. I think you are creating definitions to suit your own purposes. The "law of the land" IS man' slaw. Temple marriage is not a "corporate rule". It is Heavenly Father's law. If you cannot grasp this basic point about marriage, it makes me wonder about your understanding of and commitment to what marriage really is. As to your alleged information about your current bishop, it sounds like you went seeking a method of retaliation.
  12. And how about tobacco? Shouldn't I provide that to my guests as well, if I am considered to be a good hostess? I guess hosts are supposed to compromise their religious beliefs and standards to accommodate their guests, but how dare we expect to respect a host's religious beliefs.
  13. I converted from Judaism. My house didn't become unkosher simply because there were guests there, no matter who they were. Same deal now. No coffee, tea, alcohol or tobacco products in my house. If a guest can't survive without those products for a few hours or a few days, then they have a bigger problem than whatever my religion might happen to be. From some of the things I've seen and heard, choices such as this when they are based on religion are considered somehow "wrong", but some of the same people who would not give respect to these choices would applaud someone who made similar choices bases on other reasons...such as politics or even the fad of the day. Just give them directions to the nearest coffee shop.
  14. Now I am getting seriously annoyed. I got another email for GoFundMe. "Just a friendly reminder". I am wondering if these means they keep sending emails right up until he gets on the plane.
  15. Excellent point in your first paragraph. I had never thought of it from that perspective. Can you imagine soliciting for missions this way? I really like the response you came up with. Both in the idea of an exchange of work for the donation and how you worded everything.
  16. I appreciate everyone's input as I process my feelings about this. Humanitarian trips are a good thing. I am not questioning this person's motivation. I AM taken aback at using private ward information via a third party to solicit funds for anything. The more I think about it, even if it were something that would be absolutely appropriate for the ward to solicit donations for, I find myself balking at doing it in this manner. As I said before, why not make an announcement in an appropriate venue? Or even send it out from "within"...such as the usual RS emails and what-not. But to turn that info over to an outside source? That is NOT why I share my email with my ward. And where would the line be drawn? And by whom? There are a lot of worthy needs within any ward...lots of people could be setting up GoFundMe accounts. Do they all get to use directory info? I was advised to set up just such an account by my orthotist/prosthetist to finance something that insurance refuses to cover (I guess walking is not "medically necessary") and I am not comfortable with the idea at all, much less using directories, rosters, what-have-you to solicit funds. I'll be curious to find out what the response was. I am thinking it will be mixed.
  17. I honestly don't know if I want to take it that far. I just don't know what's appropriate. I probably won't have to. I am sure I am not the only one who is uncomfortable with this. They were already asking for supplies in RS. Why not just make this request the same way if they felt they needed money, too?
  18. I am happy to help out where and when I can. But...yeah...everyone has their hand out lately. Reminds me of a child who only calls their parents when they need money, but the rest of the time...they have no use for you. What bugs me about this one is that - from what I understand - my information was given to GoFundMe and GFM generated the email. And this information was obtained from the ward directory. So...information from the ward directory was given to a third party. That's not cool.
  19. That would seem to bring up the question of what is an "acceptable" reason. Obviously, we get emails all the time on ward-related things. This is a member going on a "humanitarian trip" as part of his educational experience - not related to the ward or to the church. We have already been asked in RS (and if I recall correctly, Sacrament Meeting) to provide supplies for the trip to take to the people in the particular county - as a humanitarian gesture. People stepped up big time. The email was asking for money to finance the trip. Again, I was taken aback that at how the solicitation happened, more than anything. I don't think (in this ward for sure) that I have ever been solicited for money in this manner. Not even for things that would be "legitimate". And if I was taken aback, I have to wonder how it came across to others. In my calling, I regularly deal with people who tell me things such as they have never had a visit from a home teacher in all the years they have been in the ward. Home teachers (and others) can't be bothered to reach out, but you use my contact information to solicit money for your pet cause? There's gotta be a better way.
  20. We have discussed similar situations previously. I received an email this morning from someone asking me to contribute to their GoFundMe account. The only way this person could have obtained my emai address is through the ward directory. I have never had so much as a conversation with this person. I have NO issue with helping out ward members in various ways or for various reasons. But the method of communication did give me pause. Is this an acceptable use of personal information via wars resources? Does it matter what the money is going towards? Are there instances wherein the ward would give permission for contacting members in this manner? What are your thoughts?
  21. "Investigation" into the LDS church? What was your goal? You certainly aren't open-minded about anything.
  22. A red flag for me here is that you mention your ex more than once. I wonder how much fantasizing you are doing about him and whether you've convinced yourself that if you were just with him, life would be "perfect", and that is your main motivator in thinking about divorce. We don't really know your husband's take on the situation as he is not here to tell us, but the issues described here are not insurmountable. But it's going to take work by both of you - this is true for every marriage. You need to remove your ex as a factor - including daydreaming about him - before you make any decisions. Leaving a marriage to be with someone else is never a good Idea.
  23. I bought my own garments for my own endowment. So did everyone else that I have talked to about it. Unless you are trying to buy them before you've had your interviews and have your recommend signed, I don't know why you couldn't. Your recommend is signed and recorded before you go to receive your endowments. You will have it in hand when you check in at the desk the day you go to receive your endowment. Prior to that day, you simply take it with you when you go to buy your garments and your temple clothes (if you are buying your clothes and not renting). The folks at the distribution center can answer any questions you have and help you with your purchases. There are some purchases that require their assistance (temple robes). I also recommend taking an endowed friend of the same sex with you (I took my VT companion) as they can also give helpful advice regarding your purchases, including accompanying you into the dressing room for certain items that a non-endowed person would not be allowed to view. Any endowed male...a friend....home teacher...bishop...would be able to answer your clothing questions. I don't know about guys, but it's usually trial and error for us gals to figure out which garments work for us. Sometimes other items, as well.
  24. I don't know how to explain it, but you will know when you are ready. I was fortunate in having a bishop and friends who conveyed the importance of the temple to me, and I pretty much spent my first year focusing on being prepared. No matter how prepared you fee, there will be things that you miss. You cannot possibly absorb it all the first time. That's one of the reasons it is important to continue to attend regularly. I don't know about receiving your endowment on ward temple night. There is a lot more involved than just attending an endowment session. But others with more experience can weigh in on that. Your bishop will also provide guidance.
  25. I hope that anyone looking to this post for "permission" to use marijuana for "suffering" pays close attention to the last five words. Just because some anonymous poster on the internet condones something, doesn't mean that it is actually in line with church teachings. It is very easy to find someone on the internet to go along with whatever act you are desiring to engage in. And for this particular poster, how is it your place to judge what is or what is not "needless" suffering? Should there be no suffering in life at all? Should any and all means be used? Are any means off-limits?