Leah

Who are "you guys"? Mormons? If you think any one discussion forum on the internet speaks for Mormons everywhere - or for the church - you would be woefully mistaken. Do you take these "discussions" to other religions? Or do only chastise the Mormons?

If you had actually taken the time to listen to and get to know the posters on this forum, you would know we come from and live all over the world. But some people don't like it when facts get in the way of their prejudices.

Perhaps. But in this particular instance, the nurse was quite specific about where her knowledge came from. I converted from Judaism. I had much exposure to the health care industry from both inside the profession and outside, and in a variety of settings. Rarely did I encounter anyone who had the slightest clue about even the basics of Judaism. And I do mean basic. And "sensitivity"? That seemed more connected to personality than training. I hope things continue to improve.

I regularly wonder if you are on this forum to actually open-minded discuss things or are just here to espouse your own personal theories and to try to tell others that they are wrong.

The church most definitely talks about how - even though we do the work for the dead - there is no guarantee that everyone will accept it. I've heard that point made regularly in the wards I have been in.

That's interesting. I find that most of the non-Mormons I know are completely unaware of their existence. And the ones that are aware, have never asked me a thing. The only time anyone has ever said anything was a nurse in the ER. She saw my garments (of course) while helping me change into a gown and asked if I was Mormon. She had heard about garments from her sister who married a Mormon and wondered if that was what she was seeing.

"smithmas" seems to be the fad of the day amongst those who latch onto any reason (real or imagined) to criticize the church. This lame topic has popped up on other boards in the last week or two. It's like a memo goes out.

Leaping to assumptions and much judgmentalism. And a completely failed argument. Your inability - refusal? - to recognize the offensiveness of the term you used shows how disconnected you are from how Heavenly Father views his daughters. No "priesthood power" there.

You are insanely fixated on your "professional" mantra. Just because you make choices to earn money by playing money does not mean you are better than someone who is unpaid. I guess all paid clergy are superior to, and more inspiring than Mormon bishops because it's their profession. We're taught to magnify our callings, not to whine that we should gat paid because we think we are better than others.

You aren't even trying to get it, are you? So what if it is your profession? You are not playing for the church in a professional capacity, so your profession is irrelevant. You throw around the word profession as if it is some sort of proof that you are better or superior to others. Just because someone gets paid for something doesn't mean the are the best or better than someone who is unpaid. Heck, it doesn't even necessarily mean that they are good. I am sure there any number of people who are as good as, or better, than you who simply have not chosen to make money on their talent. Some denominations pay their organists because they have chosen - for various reasons - to mark it a paid position. This is not the case in our church, as you well know. Callings are not about professions or payment. Everything we have comes to us from Heavenly Father. But you want to be paid to play music in His church? And you want people to bow down to your superior (in your mind) talent? I would much rather enjoy the music of an amateur with a humble heart than that of a smug professional.

My bigger concern is that you think your husband won't be a participating member of the church after his baptism. Are the missionaries aware of this? Is the bishop aware?

Wow. I have friends who have been wildly successful as musicians for more than fifty years. Whenever they are asked to share that talent in church, they do so with grace, humility and joy and would NEVER whine that they should be paid. Nor would they make such un-Christlike statements as your last sentence. It is far more moving to be lifted up in music by an "unskilled" musician than by someone who may have some measure of technical proficiency but who has no heart for the music.

So you think that no one but you delivers "high quality church music"? You are very wrong. That's mighty judgmental of all,of those who joyfully give their service and it's a pretty prideful and arrogant attitude. It's a calling, not a profession. You seem not to understand that.

I am curious to see the movie but having the stake tell members when and where they should go? Wow. That rubs me the wrong way.

Again, you are reading something in to his question that was not there. And again, that speaks to your mindset and not to the reasonable question that was asked.

There was no shaming going on. A reasonable question was asked. You read a lot into that question that wasn't there. That speaks to your mindset, and not to what was asked.

Relative to eternity, it's not so long. You're looking at it in mortal years. Heavenly Father has a plan that is better than anything we could come up with. Just make sure you are doing your part by attending the temple frequently so that you can do your part to help those who are waiting.

This. Exactly.

Your supposed new financial "success" from not paying tithing is not a blessing bestowed upon you by Heavenly Father. But the adversary would have you think that it is. Sometimes, people's negative opinions about the church come as a reaction to the hypocrisy they see in other members. That, along with the bullying and unrighteousness dominion you engage in would not make someone feel warm, fuzzy feelings about the church. I wouldn't be surprised if your wife's behavior (or...supposed behavior....we only have one side of the story) is as much a rebellion against your treatment of her as it is against the church).

I find it disturbing that you come to a public forum and list details of the ways you feel your wife is living/acting in a non-Momon way (bad in and of itself) but then you go on to brag that YOU chose to go against church teaching and stopped paying tithing and are even proud of yourself for doing so. You even - very mistakenly - think you have been blessed financially for it. Whatever problems there are in your marriage, a public forum full of strangers is no way to address the issue. Usually people who do that are just fishing for some sort of bogus confirmation that they are "right". Instead you should be addressing these things with your bishop and a professional counselor.

Your "bad thoughts" are your choice and responsibility. You cannot shift the blame of your own thoughts or actions to someone else. They are solely YOUR choice responsibility no matter what the circumstances are. If you choose to have those thoughts or choose to act on those thoughts, you are the only one to blame, you cannot shift that blame to someone else. Infidelity is never justified.

I am not sure I understand your "solution". Her family is being manipulative to get their way, so the solution is to give them the kind of wedding they want, but exclude his family for being part of the sealing? So we are to respect non-LDS customs/wishes/desires, but no one should respect anything LDS related.

Not really. If they were married at city hall, that's when they were legally married. You don't get actually married again four months later. You can get sealed after a legal/civil wedding, or have some other kind of religious ceremony. You can ostensibly have a "wedding" after your city hall marriage, but the fact remains the actual legal marriage took place in city hall (why else do it then?) Just because there weren't bridesmaids and a big party doesn't mean it wasn't a wedding. And just because there are bridesmaids and a wedding dress involved, doesn't necessarily mean that a legal wedding took place. People make all sorts of mental gymnastics when it comes to the things they want. I once attended a "wedding" only to find out later that the "groom" was not yet divorced from his first wife. But they had a lavish "wedding" and then quite some time later, when his divorce finally came through, got legally married.

How can you have a civil wedding AFTER being sealed in the temple? In order to be sealed in the temple, you either have it have a valid marriage license in order to be legally married at the same time, or you have to have been previously legally married, with all the attendant requirements regarding waiting periods, etc. I have to admit I don't have any advice to give in these situations, as I really don't understand the mentality of a wedding being about making potential guests happy and giving them the party they want, rather than focusing on the sacred ordinance that it is.