Leah

Wow. What an over-reaction. Usually, I only see this from hysterical females. The same ones who don't,t hesitate to pierce their female infant's ears. Having converted from Judaism, I have attended enough britot to know that the baby usually sleeps through the whole thing. The last time I saw such an over-reaction to the idea of circumcision was on another message board. And, again, the same women who were against it, had no qualms about piercing their daughter's ears. Like there was a valid reason for that. Then there are the women who find the sight of an uncircumsized man......off-putting.

My father died in 1980. He was an abusive man who did a lot of damage while alive. Do I despise him? No. Do I hate what he did to me and others? Would I rather have grown up in a household with a decent fathers? Absolutely. I don't wallow in it, though. I was pro-active and took steps to get on with my life and heal from the hurt. Did it change who I might have been? Maybe. What I do know is that my Heavenly Father expects me always to forgive. It took some effort, but that is what I did. And I will be taking his name to the temple to have his work done. No one expects you to not feel the pain. But for your own sake, at some point you must leave the despising behind and move forward.

I have always appreciated your point of view and enjoyed your posts. I am sure there will be much joy in the Vort household tonight!

I think you should stop watching suicide videos.

If I am to understand your post correctly....a spouse who has left the church and turned his back on his covenants has a better shot at the Celestial Kingdom than the spouse who remains in the church? He made a choice to leave the church, after having "the knowledge and testimony". She seems to be trying to stay. Also, maybe the OP - not being Mormon - does not have a grasp on the subject and misunderstood the wife? All we have is second-hand information from a non-Mormon who doesn't (of course) grasp the subject...and we don't know know the wife's grasp on the subject, either. But to read your statement, you are giving more forgiveness and credibility to the one who turned their back on the church and their covenants.

You have made your negative feelngs about marriage clear over a number of threads and posts. But it wasn't addressed just to you. But you are the one who did post that marraige should "evolve". I gave you reasons it shouldn't. Your negative feelings about marriage, your statement that marriage should "evolve" to keep up with the times...is not reason for God to change his creation of marriage or the ordinance thereof. If you don't like marriage the way that God created it, then don't get married. But don't tell the rest of us that we should "evolve" marriage to fit your negative and erroneous take on God's plan. It's pretty simple. If you don't like God's plan for (eternal) marriage, you are free to follow secular society's version of it. There are plenty to choose from. But no matter how much society tries to change God's plan for their own selfish purposes - God's plan still remains God's plan. I guess debates are only "stimulating" when all of the other posters agree with you?

I disagree. Just because society- or some segment of it - changes, does not automatically mean that everything in that society must change. There are eternal truths. There are things that remain true regardless of religious belief. If this were not true, we might as well throw out all laws. You choose not to believe in God. You think marriage is a horrible thing. Why should we change marriage be cause there are those who abhor the idea? No one is forcing you to marry. Marriage was created by God. It doesn't need to "evolve" just because there are those who to act outside of God's plan. If you don't want to get married, then don't. But don't expect God to "evolve" marriage into anything other than what He created. And don't expect others to change/abandon marriage just because you want something different.

I have noticed this problem in RS, SS and sacrament meeting. I am not going to call for a banning of children, but it's hard to get much out of any situation in which you cannot hear the speaker. But what I find most frustrating is when it is the noise of the ADULTS that keeps me from hearing the speakers. The endless chitchat by adults - especially during sacrament meeting is hugely annoying. Not to mention disrespectful. And then last week, the guy behind me read stories out loud to his daughter, so long and so loudly that I completely missed every word of the last talk. Couldn't he have taken his daughter out and done that elsewhere? I mean, he wasn't listening to the talk, so why not? I've never seen a microphone used/available in RS or SS.

Why is the assumption that they don't know English? I saw a small section of an interview with the singers, they speak English along with the languages used in the commercial. Why is the immediate assumption that someone in this country who is speaking a language other than English...is lazy and ignorant and doesn't speak any English? A couple of weeks ago, a brother greeted me in Hebrew in the temple. He knows I converted from Judaism, he heard me speak Hebrew during a portion of a talk I gave in Sacrament meeting.....and enjoys using the Hebrew he learned years ago, when he has the chance. I guess the assumption by anyone overhearing us should have been that we we lazy, ignorant, unpatriotic immigrants who don't know English.

When my husband was dying, we had the blessing of having the rare combination of a doctor (the surgeon who amputated his leg, as well as attending to other issues) with incredible knowledge and skils, along with a truly compassionate bedside manner. We were even told by one of the staff present that he wept as he performed the amputation. He had tried so hard to save the leg, but at that point, it was a choice between amputation or death. He also just plain liked my husband a lot, and was often able to lift his spirits when his ordeal overwhelmed him. Then there was the primary care doc, who was an idiot, along with being...well....I can't use that word here. He made serious medical errors and then was nasty, to boot. Give me a doc with skill any day.

It's clear who is being the judgmental one on this thread.

The thing is, you are not a teen, you are a grown, married woman. Who is supposedly considering joining a church in which serious covenants are made between you and Heavenly Father. You should quit acting and thinking like a teen. It's time for some maturity before you hurt yourself and others. And, please, no 'jokes' about BPD. That's offensive to those who struggle with it, and your comment shows you don't even understand what it is. It's also long past time for you to request different missionaries. SISTER missionaries. I am feeling a great deal of sympathy for your husband right now.

Being baptized into the church requires more than just you and the person baptizing you - there have to be witnesses. And - as outlined in another post, recording of ordinances or the baptismal service is not allowed.

I think you have been - and are - seeing things through the lens of your crush, instead of as they truly are. He is on his mission. Now is not the time for emotional entanglements with any woman, much less a married investigator (an important detail you left out of your initial post). He may or may not be aware that you have been having inappropriate thoughts/feelings about him. Please stop judging him through the eyes of your crush. You say you're over this crush, but if that is so, why are you analyzing and judging everything he does? His actions may have nothing whatsoever to do with you personally. There are certain standards a missionary must maintain and he should not be faulted for doing so. You even admitted to having fantasies of marriage regarding this missionary. If you can't stop obessing about every little detail about him, then you should take the lessons from someone else. It's not fair to the missionary or your husband.

So...the leaders make errors, but you don't? You don't have your facts quite straight about hypothyroidism. Or other things, for that matter. There IS a lot of fat hatred within our society. A lot of judgments do get made based solely on looks. It is one of the accepted, "politically correct" prejudices within our society. Including amongst SOME members of the church. But if you are at all familiar with the teachings of the Church and its leaders, this is not church 'policy', and it is certainly not what is being taught by our leaders. If what you are contending were true, there would be no overweight missionaries anywhere, but we all know that is not true. Again, there is a lot of fat hatred in our society. But there are also those who play the "fat card" when it is not relevant to the situation.

By whose definition? Yours? By that definition, then you wouldn't be heterosexual (I am assuming you are heterosexual...some would find that presumptous and insulting of me) unless and until you engaged in heterosexual sex. What were you prior to that? Using your definition, are whatever-sexuals no longer whatever-sexual they are when they stop engaging in their whatever-sexual acts they do? What do they become then? I'm a widow. Haven't had sex in years. Does that make me no longer a heterosexual? Does that mean I won't know what I am until the next time I engage in sex and - surprise! - maybe it will be with a woman and I'll find out that I am now a homosexual? My daughter hasn't had sex yet. By your definition, she would NOT be heterosexual because she has not yet engaged in heterosexual sex. So, what is she then? She can't be homosexual by your definition, because she hasn't engaged in homosexual sex. If she's not heterosexual or homosexual, what is she? This definition is ludicrous. And can be dangerous. If you believe a pedophile is only a pedophile during the act of pedophilic sex, then you are at risk of putting innocent children in serious danger. I think the thread is pretty ludicrous. And discriminatory. Where's our Straight Appreciation thread? Where's our Black Appreciation thread? Where's our Crippled People Appreciation thread? Where's our Fat People Appreciation thread? Where's our Bald People appreciation thread?

We only have one side of the story. We have no idea what is truly going on. We only have the OP's spin which may or may not be accurate. It wouldn't be the first time a poster came to this forum and posted things that turned out not to be true. Do you know that her husband said "I don't desere trials"? Do you know that that is what he meant by saying his life was too hard? Why does "life is too hard" automatically equate with that? Maybe her husband is a "whiner". Maybe she's the whiner. Maybe they both are. We don't know. Why such objection to considering other possibilities? Or the possibility that maybe he's not as bad as she portrays and she's not perfect and blameless, either. I guess everyone in the church is supposed to be perfect? And if they aren't, they are a failure and deserve judgment? I don't understand why suggesting the POSSIBILITY that we might be dealing with a man who is in deep emotional pain and therefore life feels too hard for him, meets with such derision and judgment here, of all places. Sometimes people are in such deep emotional pain that life does indeed feel "too hard". Some of those people go on to commit suicide. But I guess we should ignore them because they are just "whiners". We should just chastise them for being ungrateful and not listen with an open heart or mind to find out if someone is in trouble and needs help instead of judgment and dismissal.

Maybe instead of being dismissive of his feelings, you should try listening to him and try to understand his feelings. His saying his life is too hard, sounds like it is coming from a place of pain.

You're thinking they would put something unofficial on the official church website?

I bet your wife is wrong. I doubt that you are a "bad" person. Perhaps she has some issues within her that prompt her to belittle you, and is not actually reflective of who you are. Take Vort's advice and talk to someone. NOW. Things CAN get better.

I know he's talking about marijuana. I can read. I find it odd that people are cool with self-prescription and self-medicating with marijuana. why is it okay with that substance and not with alcohol or other drugs? As for church members approving.....People come to this forum all the time seeking approval for activities that go against church teaching, whether it is the WoW or something . And they get it.

And in the O.P.'s case, he self-diagnosed and self-prescribed. Would church members be as approving if he did the same with percocet or other prescription drugs?

Again, not my experience in my wards, and not the mindset of everyone. Just because do differently from your (seemingly inflexible) guidelines, doesn't make the experience of others less valid or "wrong". I think the inflexibility of a specific timeline in your area is unfortunate. Those first months are crucial. Being given a calling during those months can do a great deal to strengthen a new or returning member's ties to the church and can foster a sense of belonging, not to mention (for some) a sense of worthiness. I am grateful that I live in an area where the Bishops and stake presidents aren't afraid to issue callings based on the individual circumstances instead of some arbitrary number. It's not a hard and fast rule, like the year wait for the temple.

Sources, please.

I don't know of anyone in the wards I've been in who had to wait so long for a calling. I find that surprising, especially as the church has taught that one of the things a convert should have to help them stay active is a calling. VT varies, too. My last ward, it was unusual to have more than two.