RMGuy

Not looking to debate FP. Just sharing what worked in my life that brought me closer to the Savior.

Jane, I too read your post and have been thinking about it. I decided to write and share a bit of what works for me. I share it just by way of insight and not by way of advocating that you do the same. I am what some would consider to be an unconventional member of the church, but I haven't always been so. In some respects I probably could have been considered a "Peter Priesthood" from primary well into my late 30's. I attended all my meetings and tried to do everything that was asked of me. I firmly believed that if the bishop asked me to perform a task that it was the same as God himself making the request. Who could say no to that? Then somewhere in my late 30's, a few things happened. I had a daughter that didn't quite fit into the typical YW's mold in the church. Good kid - she wasn't causing any trouble or doing things that she shouldn't - it was just that she was kind of the proverbial square peg being forced into a round hole. She didn't want to get married, have kids, or make arts and crafts. She was (and is) more into welding, engineering, and mechanics. I watched as the more her leaders tried to cajole her into stereotypical gender roles at church the more depressed and unhappy she became. Now here is the part where many may disagree. And that's ok. But this is what worked for me. It was then I had a small epiphany. The Gospel is about good news. We even call it "the plan of happiness". Hence, if it is indeed making me (or someone else) unhappy then something is slightly out of kilter. I looked around and realized, I wasn't all that happy either. I was doing a pretty good job of faking happiness, but I wasn't. Not really. I then realized that there is a difference (sometimes a small one and sometimes a large one) between THE CHURCH and THE GOSPEL. They are, to my way of thinking, not synonymous. The church is there as a tool to help members live the gospel, to build the kingdom, etc. Yet, it is not the end state, is a tool to arrive at the end state. So I started to look at what I was doing. I realized that for me, the best part of the gospel was the idea of agency and accountability. I realized that if I was doing something "because the prophet said so" that I was abdicating my moral agency to him. I had to take action because I wanted to, because I believed it was the right thing to do. If I disagreed with a leader (from the primary president to the president of the church) that was also ok, because I was the one that would have to answer for that choice in the end. So I better be pretty certain that it was the right choice. Suddenly, attending meetings wasn't something I did because I had to. It was something I did because I wanted to, and if I didn't want to, then I had to stop and ask myself why. If it was because I was being lazy or rebellious, then I needed to repent and get myself right. If it was because I could do something else that would spiritually feed me better than the meeting, then I went and did that. In short I discovered that the gospel is NOT about obedience. The gospel is about agency, but agency comes with a very steep price tag. You must be accountable for each of your actions and choices individually. It is a hefty yoke, but a very light burden to be born. Your mileage may of course vary.

The latest I had heard was that the US had agreed to accept 10,000 refugees which is nothing really, but like the boy on the beach, saving one starfish is better than saving none.

Each of us can help in our own way MG. There are probably many that would love to help in any way, but aren't in a position to do so and that too is ok. What the gospel means to me is that we should help how we can.

Nothing.

I would be happy to host a 2-3 refugees for a period of time (6 months or so while they get on their feet) open my home for them, we have a couple of spare rooms, pay for their airfare here if necessary, help them acclimate, learn the language, and apply for a job, and provide food and clothing for the same period of time.

Vort, That is almost exactly my thoughts and feelings.

Motivation: I was asked by the stake president to check the database against stake leaders so they would have a heads up before someone in the stake did the same thing. Better to know about it than to have it announced in the local paper that one of your bishops is on the list kind of thing.

The database is on-line of AM clients. You can run the e-mail addresses of people you know through the database. It is possible that someone just used their email and it isn't really them, but a little more digging can get you frequency of visits and initial IP address.

We only had one HC and the stake YM's president on the list, so that wasn't too bad I guess...

I figure that at the judgement bar I will be responsible for my own thoughts, actions, and deeds. If I have impure thoughts after looking at the laurel class president because she is young, cute, and nubile then that is my issue...not hers. Likewise, if I start lusting after the EQ president's wife then that is a problem I need to address. It shouldn't matter if she attends her meetings in a bikini or in a burqa it doesn't make my thought process any more right or wrong, nor does it offer me any kind of an excuse. My thoughts and actions are my responsibility alone. Hence, I tend to think that learning respect and to control ones thoughts is considerably more important than what one wears. Since after all the Lord looks on the heart (and mind) and not the outward appearance. But then a lot of people in our ward and stake seem to really like creating all kinds of rules, laws, and policies...you know kinda like a lot of people in the early church, so I am definitely in the minority :)

First, I am sorry to hear that you are not comfortable in your own ward. To answer your question about switching wards there are a couple of things that you should consider. If you are asking my personal opinion, by all means, go ahead and switch wards. I have never understood the rationale behind assigning individuals to attend a particular building at a particular time simply based on how they fall within some arbitrary geographical boundary, but I should hasten to add THAT IS JUST ME. Officially the church sees it quite differently. While nothing prohibits you from walking in and taking the sacrament in any ward that you choose, my understanding is that to officially switch wards requires not just the approval of the bishop or even stake president but rather a request on your behalf from the stake presidency to the first presidency of the church. Alternately, you can move your residence to the new ward. Here is an article about a new church leader that you might find of interest...it is from 1980, but may be helpful nonetheless. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1980/10/these-people-shall-be-my-people-on-changing-wards?lang=eng

Cynical: If you still believe what was said then he was speaking as a prophet. If you don't believe, or no longer believe what was said, then he was speaking as a man.

Stones, Who, ACDC, Zeppelin, GnR, Floyd, Leppard, Aerosmith Some of the ones on my play list over the last hour or so.

It may be BECAUSE of those things that you did

...and she has been released from jail. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2015/09/08/kim-davis-released-jail/71882274/

My take for what it is worth? They no longer believe the truth claims of the LDS church. If WE believe what we say, that the Book of Mormon is the keystone of our religion, then to me, no longer believing has to be the greatest single reason people leave. Though it may not be the one we want to hear. We tell people, for example, that if the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith was a prophet and we build an entire sequence of faith from that premise. I would posit that we can do the same, in reverse for why a person leaves. We can pretend that it is offense, but if they really believe the truth claims of the church then would they not do what we encourage them to do and remember that it isn't about individuals that might cause offense but about the Gospel of Jesus Christ? We can say that it is because they are lazy, that the Gospel is hard. But each and every one of us that remains active have aspects of the Gospel that are difficult for us. I personally dislike family history work, haven't engaged in it in months (perhaps I need to repent), but just because that is difficult for me doesn't keep me from sacrament meeting. I know others in the ward that have difficulty with the word of wisdom, the law of chastity, tithing, home and visiting teaching, you name it...but they are still active. Whatever the surface reason I think it comes down to the fact that they don't have a testimony of the truthfulness of the church (please note that I separate that from a testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel). I firmly believe it is possible to have a testimony of one without the other. So perhaps the bigger question isn't why people go inactive, but rather, why the do not believe the truth claims of the church?

I have the utmost respect generally for individuals in the law enforcement profession. I am grateful for their service and dedication, and anytime that one of them does not return home to their family due to being attacked on the job it is a tragedy. Understanding and appreciating that does not mean that there is not corruption or negative ego that exists in the profession. It does. Similarly, acknowledging that some law enforcement officers are out of control in particular instances does not indicate a lack of respect for either the individual or the profession. Lost in this discussion is that the evidence does not support the idea that police are suddenly being targeted. For example: This year to date there have been 83 officers that have lost their lives in the performance of their duties (all types, including accidents). That INCLUDES 10 k9 officers that died of heat exhaustion and 13 officers that died of heart attack. Assuming that rate continues we will have lost 123 individuals (including K9 officers) through the end of this year. That sounds horrible, and it is. Yet it does not constitute an increased targeting or risk for law enforcement officers or that society is somehow less law abiding or that the respect for police lives do not matter. For example, over the last 10 years we have AVERAGED 157 lives lost per year which means the projection is a 22% DECREASE in officers lost in the line of duty. The Median is 161 which means that the 123 projection is a 24% decrease. In fact, only one year, 2012 had less lives lost (119) than this years projection. No year, prior to 2009, had less than 140. In 2007, 204 officers lost their lives in service, 82% greater than this years projection. For those of you who serve in law enforcement, my hat is off to you. You have my admiration, my respect, and my thanks. Any officer who does not return home at the end of his or her shift is one too many. Honesty and integrity demand that we separate reality from mere perception.

I applaud the church's efforts in this. I wish that there was more we could do as an organization and I wish that my country would allow us, as citizens, to host and pay for a refuge family.

Mrs. Davis has refused to issue marriage licenses citing her strongly held religious beliefs and the idea that God's law (as she interprets it) trumps the laws of men. She has been remanded to the custody of the US Marshal Service until she complies with the court order to issue marriage licenses to both hetero and homosexual couples as instructed in previous court rulings. http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/09/03/437174853/kentucky-clerk-is-due-in-federal-court-for-contempt-hearing

Thanks JAG, I hadn't seen that release yet. I also didn't know the information about the 1974 case either.

Apparently the vote was unanimous. It now needs to go for a vote to the executive council at the end of July. Individual units would still be able to follow their beliefs in allowing or disallowing these leaders however camps and regional organizations cannot discriminate against gay leaders that were permitted by their individual units, ie your scouts could encounter gay leaders at camp if this passes. This is the only link I have read on this so far, so I am sure there are other points of view. https://www.scoutsforequality.org/scouting/boy-scouts-of-americas-executive-committee-unanimously-approves-end-to-ban-on-gay-adults/

It is obvious that you are feeling guilt as a result of not wearing your garments the way you think you should. I can offer no advice but perhaps a couple of thoughts. Many have suggested that the only way to get used to them is to continue to wear them, pardon the pun, religiously. There is the classic quote, "that which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our capacity to do it has been increased." No one here has offered the other option, nor am I advocating it, which is stop wearing them. There is also a third option. Do what you have been doing and stop worrying about it. That is what I think you want someone to tell you. So I did. It is an option. The best option? Well, that's between you and the Lord right? The first two are probably more viable, but can happen so long as you try to keep a foot in both camps. Either way you have my empathy and my best wishes for your personal solution.

NO!!! Chocolate is proof that God loves us.

Wait, so this is like the Hotel California?