clevermoniker

It's always kind of bugged me that the situation wasn't better in LDS's churches... I mean, we have the true Gospel, right? With greater knowledge, we have even greater responsibility, and God will hold us to a higher standard...

The fact is, getting pregnant at 16 is definitely not normal, and it really is a big deal. I think you're right to expect that some people are going to treat you differently because of it. That being said, I don't think you should let it keep you from going back to church and fully becoming involved again. I let some pretty serious sins keep me from returning to the church for a long, long time. While talking things through with the Bishop he told me something that I've always remembered: "The Church is not a club for perfect people. It's a hospital, and we're all sick". I had a friend years ago in a similar situation to yours. She was having a hard time, and couldn't understand how a worthy priesthood holder could ever look past what she had done and accept her for who she is. I told her the same thing I would tell you: If he can't, then he's not a worthy priesthood holder.

Just because I'm mean, doesn't mean that I don't understand :) Asking her to date, but not to fall in love with the guy she dates is exactly like asking someone to jump off of a cliff and not hit the ground. That wouldn't be fair of you to ask, and it wouldn't be fair for the guy's that she is dating. Let her know how you feel, there's nothing wrong with that. Let that be in her mind as she's dating other guys and considering her feelings for them. But don't put her in a position where she has to feel guilty for falling in love with someone else. We really do understand. Most of us have been there. The odds are against you. She's probably not going to wait. Personally I think you're better off accepting and dealing with that now, rather than to wait until you're into your mission. My brother had a "girlfriend" who was waiting for him to come back, though she never told him. The day after he got back, he went over to see her. She had a friend over, so she introduced the two of them... and a few weeks later my brother was engaged to her best friend. (Edited for clarity:) People change a lot in 2 years, especially at that age.

You'll also notice that Sarah isn't actually published by Deseret Book, but a subsidiary called "Shadow Mountain" in order to further distance him. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's a fantastic writer, and I warn my wife regularly that I'm going to name out first son Ender, but he's definitely not a good example of an LDS Author. Really, in my opinion, there are none at this time.

If it's wrong today, it was wrong then.

God answers all of our prayers... The hard part for us, however, is that his answer is usually "Figure it out for yourself". To paraphrase horribly, there's a section in the D&C where God told Joseph Smith, "Stop bugging me all the time, you're perfectly capable of answering a lot of these questions on your own." There is no ONE perfect person for you out there. There our countless girls who you could be perfectly happy with. If one of them is a serial killer, chances are you'll get something a little more substantial from your prayers, but aside from that, you're just going to have to accept that fact that God trusts your judgement.

A prophet's personal racism stopping an entire group of people from receiving the priesthood.... sounds an awful lot like leading the the church astray.

Again, I don't think I believe that "The Church" hasn't found a shred of evidence, as you say. Do you think they'd just volunteer that Brigham Young was just a racist, and nobody bothered to correct him? I've wondered at times if this were not the real reason... But why did no Prophet after him reverse this? Did none of them bother ask God what he thought of it 'till 1978?

I've always wondered about this kind of statement, about what it really means, and if it is to be taken literally. It's a fact that all of us, no matter what, will give in to temptation at some point. It's part of being human, it's something that we have to go through. So... since it's not possible to live a sinless life, we most definitely WILL be tempted beyond what we can resist. But... beyond what we can "bear"? I guess that we (I) possibly don't understand exactly what that means. It clearly does not mean that if we're really strong and faithful that we'll never give in to temptation.

I don't know that I believe it to be accurate. Ok, "Scholars" might not have the answer. But... The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints itself does not KNOW? Deciding not to go public with it, I can understand that. But to come out and say that they do not know? I find that really hard to believe...

"For a time in the Church there was a restriction on the priesthood for male members of African descent. It is not known precisely why, how, or when this restriction began in the Church but what is clear is that it ended decades ago. Some have attempted to explain the reason for this restriction but these attempts should be viewed as speculation and opinion, not doctrine. The Church is not bound by speculation or opinions given with limited understanding." If this is coming directly from the Church... How can they possibly say that they do not know WHY, HOW or WHEN the restriction began? Seriously? I'm a faithful member of the church, but this really bothers me...

He's probably going to ask you for a few details, just so he can understand the full extent. I would expect him to ask how many times, and he will probably ask you about the masturbation as well. I know how you must be feeling right now, it really is terrifying. I remember how much I was dreading it, and my heart truly goes out to you. You really will feel better the second it is over, and probably much sooner than that. I believe you'll be able to look back on it as a positive experience overall.

I think it all depends on the person asking the question. There are plenty of examples of mistranslations in the Bible, so this can be shown to be a fact. You can point to the things that were once in the bible but the Catholic church decided to have removed. The thing I've learned over the years is that arguing with them rarely does any good, and is often the only thing they are after. Years ago when I was a teenager I worked for a Baptist pastor. He was regularly taking little jabs at the Church, any chance he got. An older woman who worked with us (who ironically was an excommunicated polygamist) confronted him on it one day and just asked him, "Have you read it? Have you ever read the Book of Mormon?". He, of course, said no. And this is a guy who learned Hebrew JUST so he could better understand the Bible. She told him that until he read it, she didn't want to hear another word about it because he had no right to comment on it. That, in my opinion, is the best way to handle it. Ask them how they know the Bible to be true, and tell them that they can know the Book of Mormon to be true in exactly the same way.

I don't believe that's necessarily the message. The message can just as easily be, "We really, really advise against it. What you're doing is morally and spiritually repugnant. If we could force you not to do it, we would. However, since we can't, the least you can do is please make sure you don't get pregnant".

I honestly do not know how much of a benefit there is to just reading the entire thing. I've read it cover to cover several times. I've read the bible cover to cove twice. For me, I tend to get more out of them both when I am studying the scriptures, and not reading them. Searching for information on a particular topic, or just following all of the different references to see where they lead. The "Story" of the book of mormon is more fluff than anything else, and that's what a cover-to-cover reading gives you. The real substance requires some digging.

Hart's Hope hope features, among other things, the brutal public rape of young girl. Wyrms has a great scene involving a human having sex with a dragon. If you haven't read these, it's probably because they're out of print and he's asked the publisher not to re-release them. Then there's all of his short stories. Reading all of his books, there are a very large number of references to pedophilia... a disturbing amount. Even in the Homecoming series, he has to throw in a sex scene involving Nafai and Luet as VERY young teenagers. He has a short story where a guy gets to go back in time to have sex with an underage girl, as his biggest regret in life was not doing it when he had the chance. I'm not making any accusations, but it would not surprise me in the least to learn that OSC was either a pedophile himself, was molested as a child, or has some very sick tendencies that come out in his writing.

Because the Savior, of whom you claim to have a testimony, says that he is real. What else do you need?

You're doing the right thing by addressing this now. I was about 7 the first time I saw a nude woman in a movie at a friends house, and to this day I still remember every detail about it. At that young age, something that forbidden and "naughty" gets etched into your head immediately. Without getting in to the details, I have confessed far worse things to my bishop. When talking about it, he let me know that one of the spiritual gifts given to him as a Bishop (This was for him personally, not necessarily for all Bishops), was one of forgetting. Once the repentance process is completed, it's completely out of his mind. Your bishop will be very understanding, and he'll guide you through this. He might encourage you to talk to your parents about it, and that may or may not be the best thing for you, but he will not tell them. Having someone around you that understands something you're struggling with can be a big help, and you may want to do that at some point. He can also send you to a counselor if the two of you think it might be helpful, and the Church can pay for it if necessary. There are a lot of emotional and psychological issues behind pornography addiction, and while it certainly doesn't sound like you're an "addict" at this time, it does seem that the potential is there. I think people don't truly understand how amazing the atonement is until they experience something like this, and see just how much they need it. I hid a lot of secrets for a long, long time. The guilt even kept me from going back to Church, keeping me away for years. I finally hit rock bottom and had nowhere else to turn. I had plenty of other issues I was dealing with, and had been meeting with my Bishop regularly. He didn't pressure me, but told me to let him know when I felt I was ready to return to the temple. After a few meetings, I told him everything that I had done. After that first meeting, right after I stood up, he asked me, "Do you feel it? That weight you've been carrying?". I truly did. As cheesy as it sounds, it felt like this huge burden I had been carrying around for years was a little lighter, like I wasn't the only one carrying it. It took a lot longer for the guild to be gone completely, but at that moment I knew that it would be.

People often say that they don't make any financial decision without both agreeing on it, but it's rarely true. If you forbid her from giving him the money, that's you making the decision all on your own. You may justify this by saying that her brother needs to learn a lesson and be responsible for his own choices, but perhaps your wife needs the same thing. If my wife felt that she needed to help her brother, and it was easily within my power to do so, I would do it. I love my wife, and I trust her judgement.

I always find it's best to ignore advice that encourages you to to not be selfish and to do the right thing. Keep it up!

Here's my problem with Mormon Fiction: The writers suck. The attempts are generally very weak. Most of them could never get published out in the real world. Orson Scott Card occasionally writes for the LDS audience, and he is a master of character development, but if you've ready everything he's written, you'd never want him associated with the LDS church. Go read a book or two from Chaim Potok in order to understand just how amazing religious fiction can be. And LDS writer of this magnitude could have a great long-term effect on the public's perception of LDS life.

It's going to definitely be different for everyone. In my opinion, the emotional part of your marriage, the connection that the two of you have, should be of far more importance than the physical part of your marriage. I guess it all depends on how you look at it and where you put your priorities. Bottom Line: Both are disgusting, and in an ideal world none of us would ever have to deal with it. The pain caused by both of them is just as real.

The church STRONGLY discourages IVF when the mother and fathers sperm and egg cannot be used. Someone quoted it earlier in the thread, I'm sure you can find it. And before you get too settled on your sanctimonious high horse, I *AM* dealing with this RIGHT NOW, at this very moment. If it were God's will, my wife and I would have a child already. If it is God's will, we will eventually be able to have a child. All that is left is for me to continue to do all that I can, and put my faith in Him. Perhaps God gave you genes to easily gain weight in order for you to learn self control? We all have our struggles in life, and cannot always understand His plan for us.

As one who is currently struggling with infertility, going on two years of trying/treatments/etc. I have to disagree with you. The fact of the matter is, if God really wanted us to procreate, he certainly has the power to make that happen. He is, after all, God. We get to pray for it, and want it, and try, and do all that we can, but in the end, "thy will be done". If you choose to take offense, it's all yours.

This is nothing official, but this is how it the Church's stance on IVF was explained to me, and it made sense. Basically, if God wanted a couple to be able to have children on their own, he would have made them capable of doing that. God helps those who help themselves, so when there are certain medical conditions that make IVF necessary using the couples own sperm and egg, that seems fine too. But once you go beyond that, it just doesn't make any sense. You can't have kids of your own, and God will help you to come to terms with that. There are SO MANY children out there in the world who are just waiting to be adopted... little children who really need your help. You can still raise the child, still have an amazing impact on their life. Refusing to offer them this gift that you are fully capable of giving, just because you didn't get to carry them and give birth... seems a little selfish. As it has been said, the church STRONGLY discourages, but leaves the decision up to the couple. There will be exceptions to this. But for the vast majority of cases, adoption is the option that should be chosen.