lagarthaaz

Maybe im just oldschool but I could never understand why anyone in their right minds would need to do anything on their smart phones unrelated to church during the sacrament hour.
 
Need to send/receive an important call? go outside and do that
Need to surf the web for sport scores or social media status's? go home and do that
 
on the flip side txt messaging allows my bishopric to inform/relay messages that are urgent/important during the sacrament meeting. for example, if an inactive female member suddenly shows up to sacrament the 1st counselor or bishop will text the relief society leader a heads up.

Forget the dissenters - the REAL dirt had to do with using electronic devices during Sacrament! :)
 
Did anyone else pick up on the line in the sand the brethren are drawing, on smartphone use on Sunday? They're asking us to put our devices away during the "presentation" of the sacrament. They're not asking us to put them away during sacrament meeting.  (Well, they are in general terms when talking about not letting technology rule us, and how to best feel the spirit, and whatnot.  But when speaking most clearly, they use the phrase "presentation of the sacrament".) I heard it twice in conference, and also once or twice in other talks at other times.  I am guessing (and this is just my guess), they are trying to preserve the sacredness of the sacrament, with the needs of moms who use gizmos to keep kids quiet during an hour of monotone talking, and people with ADD/ADHD who need to be doing something with their hands, etc.

I was actually quite serious about this. Some still want to maintain some anonymity even if meeting in a small group.  It's one thing to meet in a small group.  It's another thing to have your image all over the internet.
 
It's something that might actually keep me from going.

Well, 'Meet the Mormons' finally made it to the cinemas here in my part of Australia.  Like most people who posted in this thread so far, our Stake 'encouraged' us all to go and see it. Tickets were just $6, and the film was also advertised as a good 'family night' activity. They also dedicated last Sunday to a special fast day for members to pray about who we could invite to meet the missionaries. The plan goes something like this: Invite friends to "Meet the Mormons", fast and pray in the meantime, invite friends to meet the missionaries, bring said friends to view the General Conference videos in two weeks to hear from a living prophet.  There are also wards that are following up with local 'Meet the Mormons' firesides and open days at meetinghouses. 
 
I took my non-member husband to see it with our children.  He liked it, but he already knows that there are very nice Mormons out there, along with some not so nice ones. In fact, the documentary probably made us out to be way nicer than most of us actually are (speaking for myself here, really).
 
I was pleasantly surprised that the film didn't come across as being too saccharine in its portrayal of regular LDS, and I also appreciated the multi-cultural focus of the featured individuals and families. 
I really liked that the church donated the proceeds of the film to date - $1.8 million dollars - to the Red Cross. 

Yes, by all means, this is no time to be soft. The decisions made during the divorce may last a life time. It is not about being punitive, it is about protecting your interest and the interest of the children. You may love her and feel compassion, but the law (her lawyer) isn't going to measure that when it strips you to the bone because they know just exactly what I said; what happens now may last a lifetime and they want the most.
 
I hate that my own tone had to change from "please try to make it work" to "don't give an inch". It is only from watching others go through this process that I know you'll get the short end of the stick unless you hold tight. You can be compassionate later - literally, you can always choose to help more later.

After my husband's divorce, there was no co-parenting.  It was more like parallel-parenting.  He did his thing, she did her thing.  My husband had custody of his kids, so he had the greater influence.  His ex had been excommunicated.  Both of my step-children ended up going on missions and are still very active in the church today.

Haha, haven't thought of that one for a long time  

I am absolutely clueless about eating beans for breakfast.  I have never heard of it, (until now) or tried it.  How are the beans prepared? What kinds of beans?  Tell me all you know about beans for breakfast.

I don't eat any breakfast.
Just a glass of orange juice. 
Maybe mid morning a Krispy Kreme donut, jelly filled.
Today I did have two English muffins.
I eat a good lunch and a light dinner. 
Wait, how did this get started?  Oh, eggs.  Egg allergy.
So have something else.  I used to have grapefruit juice.  Too much acid.  So I now go with orange juice.
dc

Girl, after eating that I doubt you would live a long life, let alone die happy.

baked beans, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam and spam
could also be an option...
(Cue the vikings in the corner...)
 
 

I do love crumpets - and who does any dairy products better than the Brits, honestly? Okay, maybe the Swiss. I never cared much for drinking milk as a child but I loved that we had our milk delivered in those terrific glass bottles every day. I also loved fish n chips and pastys which we had whenever we were traveling, or out for a village market day. Those are actually probably the least "exotic" British foods of all. Maybe things would be different if I had lived there past the age of 11. The sweets I definitely miss, especially with the new restrictions on Cadbury chocolate here in the states. Apart from licorice allsorts, I think their candy is infinitely better than ours. Mint Aeros, Jaffa Cakes, Cadbury Flakes, Fruit-tella, etc. 

Good point, you could be right. I have tried eating fish for breakfast, but have only been able to stomach it before 11am when camping and it was cooked on a stick over the campfire. The rest of the time it just makes me feel icky, but that's probably just my upbringing on standard American fare talking.
 
Maybe that is the conditioning I need to get going for myself, just eat "non-breakfast" things until my tastes adjust. I have eaten leftovers in the morning before, pasta dishes for example, but always end up feeling like I need to "wash it down" with something like plain yogurt or orange juice. 
 
 
 
I love the rest of your suggestions, thank you! This one though... ugh. I grew up in England for the most part, and had many an overnight school trip where this was the only option for breakfast. Beans or marmalade on toast... never again lol. I'm a complete Anglophile, and wouldn't mind living my entire life in that "green and pleasant land" but the food is not among my top reasons why. I know lots of people love it though, I am sorry if this is a bit rude. 
 
 
Good thought, I haven't ever looked into them much but I do have a physical coming up soon. I shall jot down a reminder to ask my doctor about them. Thanks! 

Ahh, silly Americans.  You think there are only certain foods for breakfast.  I loved living in Bulgaria on my mission.  I could eat a cheese sandwich and no one (other than my American companions) gave me a hard time.  I do not like "breakfast" foods in general. I have absolutely no problems eating foods considered to be lunch or dinner foods for breakfast.  Leftovers, sandwiches, whatever strikes me.  
 
One of my families on my mission was from Cambodia.  They ate spicy Ramen noodles for breakfast--a family after my own heart!!!

I well remember the sugary cereals and fat-laden breakfasts considered normal fare when I lived in the U.S.  Sooo delicious but soooo bad for you :)
 
I'm not much of a breakfast eater so I usually just make a quick protein shake to sip on my 30 minute drive to work each morning.  My family keeps chickens so we have plenty of eggs, and yet we hardly eat eggs so I end up giving them away to friends at work.   Meanwhile, I like to eat toasted wholemeal muffin or toasted bread topped with any of the following:
baked beans grilled tomato and cheese (or whatever you like to have grilled with cheese) avocado mixed with a little lemon juice, salt and pepper and spread on toast is delicious or... smoothies (as opposed to juices made with your choice of yoghurt and freshly blended fruit (eg. pineapple, orange, apple, or berries) smoothies made with your choice of veggies (you can also add in things like coconut milk, flax oil, chia seeds and such if you want to boost the nutrients of your smoothies - there's any number of things you can buy from any health food store) granola with dried nuts and nuts and fruit you've already discovered the joys of oatmeal - I love that stuff!  
Meanwhile, might be a good idea to keep away from those eggs :)

Stuff that may get you kicked out of the church:
* Spouse abuse
* Various serious felonies like murder or child molestation
* Becoming an ordained minister of another church
* Running an organization the purpose of which is to denounce, discount, or change the church from the outside.
* Some forms of sexual sin (like adultery or same-sex relations)
 
Stuff that probably won't get you kicked out of the church, but may keep you from a temple recommend:
* Smoking
* Drinking
* Extra-marital sex
* Some forms of sexual sin (like adultery or same-sex relations)
* Affiliating with organizations the purpose of which is to denounce, discount, or change the church from the outside.
* Supporting things the church doesn't support (like legalizing marijuana or same-sex marriage or gambling or brothels or what have you)
 
Stuff that won't get you kicked out of the church, which shocks some people:
* Being a Democrat.
 
None of this was really new to me.  (Except the Democrat thing - I'm shocked - SHOCKED I tells you!)

Welcome to the forum, Char!
 
And Suzie, you are spot on! Couldn't agree more with the whole I'm-not-in-your-shoes-but-I-can-tell-you-what-your-problem-is mentality. Just because you have an opinion, and you're free to spout that opinion off, doesn't make it automatically right to give it. Believe it or not, there are situations where one should sit down and shuddup. Now, if the other party asks for insight on their circumstances, that's a different story. But for goodness sake, when someone is dealing with a very personal and very difficult issue, and you have not been in their shoes, take just a minute to consider how or even IF to respond. Infertility is a devastating reality for so many and also embarrassing for so many. The very least someone can do who's looking from the outside in, is to be nice about it, and not a butt.
 
I remember finally opening up and talking about bulimia, and nobody really understood what the heck I'd gone through, but would make ridiculous comments like "I had an eating disorder in high school my sophomore year and always skipped meals. Then I realised how unhealthy that was." SERIOUSLY? When you're battling an eating disorder, you don't just one day 'realise' that you're sick, in fact, you're in major denial that you are. In addition, skipping meals hardly sits in the same arena as a full blown ED (though it can start there). My body was so weak during those really rough times, I bruised easily, lost chunks of hair, and had even been hospitalised once. It's a plague that still takes a toll today but fortunately, with therapy and support, it is far far less serious.

I didn't get that from char's comments at all. In fact, it seems to me that anyone struggling with infertility feels that way because they DO value parenthood, perhaps even more than most for whom parenthood has come easily or as a natural progression of life.
 
She's simply asking for some understanding of her struggle, and some sensitivity in how the church approaches holidays like Mother's and Father's Day. That's not detracting from any major doctrines about the sanctity of family and parenthood, but rather it expands on the edict to 'love one another' and 'bear one another's burdens'. I do agree with her that we do not need to have entire blocks of church meetings devoted to 'mothers' or 'fathers' - the subject is amply covered in our regular church curriculum anyway.
 
And regardless of what one's opinion is on the matter - adding to a person's pain when they have related deeply personal feelings of hurt about an issue like infertility is just not ok. 

Contention = when a conversation is no longer governed by love and respect.

I thought I might finish up with one last response, but reading over all the most recent posts again it seems it make take me a couple of tries. Firstly. 
 
TFP, thank you for sharing your thoughts and I am sorry that you had such a prolonged struggle. My husband and I have been going through this for about seven years now. The most traumatic and stressful period of my life thus far, without a doubt. 
 
(And no, Omegaseamaster75, quite the contrary. I was wondering when/if other people with similar experience would come out and say so, statistically I knew there had to be at least a few.)
 
TFP, I can't say I'm surprised that you weren't offended at all by Anatess' much earlier comment. It is easier to hear things like that from friends, and when you have heard them for as long as you probably have given your 18 years of difficulty. I am sorry if that is too great or rude of an assumption for me to make. My sister says the same kind of thing to me that Anatess did on a fairly regular basis, but because I know her and she knows me so well, it has never hurt and is usually one of the ways she lets me know she cares. But coming from a stranger, I rarely know what to say in response. I am usually just aghast that they had the nerve to suddenly give me any instruction (that I did not explicitly ask for) about how to deal with the private inner workings of my own body. (Or the emotional/social ramifications thereof.)
Also, when have I ever said that the ideas themselves are hurtful? They usually aren't at all, they're usually coming from truth anyway. It is entirely about the delivery.. who, how, when, where, and why. 
 
You say you and your wife have never been persecuted, but that people have said insensitive things. And that you choose to forgive, which is great. But whatever you choose to do, the way you react to something insensitive said by another person, that choice does not modify the original act. Forgiveness helps you, and sometimes the other person to feel better. Doesn't change the fact that their comment was in fact an act of persecution, however minor or great. 
 
Since you (and others) seem to think I am hallucinating or fabricating things... here are a couple of the gems I have heard from church members in the past year:
 
I visited my parent's ward at Christmastime last year, the ward that I lived in from age 16 until I married my husband. The people there know me fairly well, I had callings in Primary, Sunday School, and Relief Society once I graduated from Young Womens. I was one of 8 active laurels, a really great group. I hadn't been back to visit the ward in four years. So, at that time the Relief Society president had been in her calling for almost a year, and my mother is her first counselor. She greeted me warmly as most of the ward members did, and there were two other of the laurels I had graduated with who were there visiting their parents, with young children in tow. This sister, the RS president, walked with me to sunday school and on the way told me the following, (paraphrased slightly): "It's so great that you're visiting your mom, it's like you almost never left! (I said it had been a while, yes, but it was good to be back.) She said, "Well you know how Jamie and Elise (the two of my peers also visiting) both have kids, well we always thought you'd beat them to it, and you don't even have one? It's so disappointing to all of us, and your mom too, that you have let all of us down like that. You were raised right by your leaders in this ward and it hurts us that you've thrown that all away, and that you ignore Heavenly Father's commandment to have children. Please think about it, maybe a good new years resolution to consider!" And at this point we had arrived at Sunday School, she quickly pulled me in for a second hug and walked away quickly. No exaggerations here. I had to spend the next few minutes in the ladies room to compose myself.
 
The second non-imagined experience was in the ward we are in now. We had only been there a few weeks, but I had been talkative enough in RS lessons and such for most of the sisters to know what my husband does for a living, what I do, and that we had been married for a few years. Every week before the lesson we have a "good news moment" where we share news and such... obvs. I raised my hand and asked if people might keep my husband in mind and in their prayers, that he was up for a big promotion at work. A sister who to this day I do not know her name, its possible she has since moved or is inactive, she tapped me on the shoulder and whispered. "My favorite church quote from President McKay is a great reminder, that no other success can compensate for failure in the home." It is possible that I misinterpreted her meaning, but how likely is it that I did? 
 
These are two of many similar comments and pieces of unsolicited advice, most of the others are too personal for me to share here. I am still working on forgiving both of these ladies. But I don't think I will ever be able to look back on these memories and convince myself that their words or their tone were kindly ment. 
 
 
And finally, I suppose I ought to be thanking you for the lesson in humility, self-sacrifice, obedience, and remembering baptismal covenants and all that. I guess if anyone here has the right to tell me to get over myself its someone who has been through something similar. Definitely not coming to you for emotional counseling though, but I'm sure you don't mind. 

Anatess, my bishop and RS president are already aware (have been for some time) of my situation and my ideas. They're really on top of meeting planning so talks have long been assigned for that week, but I have been invited to give a "spiritual thought" kind of thing before the start of RS. We'll see what happens.
 
A big "thank you" to Suzie, Eowyn, and Lagarthazz for their most recent posts. Yes, Suzie I have a great therapist who specializes in this sort of thing. 
 
Very interesting question, Crypto. I think this thread might be one answer, obviously not ideal.

This discussion actually strikes me as a good example of something that borders black and white and is a gray issue. Is it wrong to celebrate something good? No! It's good to celebrate something good. Is it wrong to compassionately avoid upsetting people? No! It is good to be compassionate.

What happens if they come into conflict?

My Primary is just fine  - we love and care for the kids and take their individual circumstances into account as much as possible. Our bishop is mindful of the  needs of the ward members. And the kids are wonderful and a lot of fun, I'd much rather hang out with them than adults on any day of the week

I didn't get that from char's comments at all. In fact, it seems to me that anyone struggling with infertility feels that way because they DO value parenthood, perhaps even more than most for whom parenthood has come easily or as a natural progression of life.
 
She's simply asking for some understanding of her struggle, and some sensitivity in how the church approaches holidays like Mother's and Father's Day. That's not detracting from any major doctrines about the sanctity of family and parenthood, but rather it expands on the edict to 'love one another' and 'bear one another's burdens'. I do agree with her that we do not need to have entire blocks of church meetings devoted to 'mothers' or 'fathers' - the subject is amply covered in our regular church curriculum anyway.
 
And regardless of what one's opinion is on the matter - adding to a person's pain when they have related deeply personal feelings of hurt about an issue like infertility is just not ok. 

I didn't get that from char's comments at all. In fact, it seems to me that anyone struggling with infertility feels that way because they DO value parenthood, perhaps even more than most for whom parenthood has come easily or as a natural progression of life.
 
She's simply asking for some understanding of her struggle, and some sensitivity in how the church approaches holidays like Mother's and Father's Day. That's not detracting from any major doctrines about the sanctity of family and parenthood, but rather it expands on the edict to 'love one another' and 'bear one another's burdens'. I do agree with her that we do not need to have entire blocks of church meetings devoted to 'mothers' or 'fathers' - the subject is amply covered in our regular church curriculum anyway.
 
And regardless of what one's opinion is on the matter - adding to a person's pain when they have related deeply personal feelings of hurt about an issue like infertility is just not ok.