pkstpaul

Sounds like a bomb ready to go off. If he isn't in trouble with the law, it likely will come. Honestly, there isn't much one can do beyond the obvious - love, mentor, set an example, etc. If he's 13, there is some hope that he will adjust. 14 and older, he likely is going to attach himself to whomever he can associate with - the bad kids at school, because they accept anyone. At 17 he'll leave home and go back to Florida. That's a dark picture, I know, but it is the most common. The best thing is to keep him involved in something, anything, even if he doesn't like it. That means time that I bet an expectant mother with four children doesn't have (nor the father). Bini, if your husband is the type, he could be a great mentor. I was involved in Big Brothers Big Sisters and it really doesn't take much time to make an impact. Just a few hours a week. Go fly a kite or fish or volunteer to drive him to soccer, etc. The child may not seem like he wants or appreciates it, but trust me, the alternative is sitting around texting and surfing YouTube. Good luck.

Amen to that!

There is a difference is being your best and being perfect. I can't do more than than than best but I am very unlikely to be perfect (i.e. my best isn't perfect). I state it this way - "Always do your best and never worry if you did enough". When it comes to gospel principles, I find it nearly impossible to know enough to be perfect. I think our capacity to understand (as mortals) is limited. I think it will take millions more years to draw close to perfection.

Yes. You are more likely find yourself reassigned when doing something like that. Once you get good at your calling, they'll move you.

I've dreamed of the Appalachian Trail thing too. I read this timely story today and it made me think twice. Maybe I'll find a road less traveled. http://apnews.myway.com/article/20150830/us--hikers_behaving_badly-5b704abb1f.html

She's trying to tell you something and you're not listening. Listen.

I hear this the most. A simple offense toward someone, a slight comment, taken to heart. It cuts deeper then one would think. I see too that people find an occasion not to attend for more than a couple of weeks in a row and find out that nothing bad happened. Nobody got hurt and nobody feels any the worse. They then measure the relative ease of not going to the "burden" of going and decide to just stay away. It is one reason I advocate for less orthodoxy in the Church and why I get caught up in arguments in the fourm. I believe being at church should be joyful and not a burden. Nobody should be made to feel out of place or unworthy. Making the comments in SS or RS about what "perfect" behavior should be, or telling people the resolution to their problems are only about becoming more perfect are not solutions at all - not for those who feel weak. It doesn't mean turning church into a three-ring circus where everyone feels good doing whatever they want - something TFP said I was insinuating - it means being more sensitive to those who struggle to be at church and who don't "fit" the mold of reading scriptures everyday and holding FHE every week and pray five times a day, or pay a full tithe. I hear over and over again comments in meetings that I think offend others by calling people unto repentance (not directly) or insinuate people's problems are due to unrigheousness. No, peoples' problems are sometimes just due to life - the Plan. Do we have a responsibility to call people to repentance? Yes. Are we to seek exaltation through edification? Yes. I, in no way, would condone any member to live less than what our prophets and leaders have taught. That is not my argument. My argument is that those whose only repsonse to people questioning and hurting is to "do better", only pushes people away from the gospel. We need to allow (tolerate) some level of "sin" in order to pull people into the influence of the gospel by keeping them in church. Be sensitive when discussing obedience in class.

I created the debate because I felt there to be an expression that the gift giving was "because" the receipient was acting in the role of a home teacher. If that in fact is part of the culture of the Church, I would argue against it. My instinct was more of what TFP expressed in that there was some romantic or freindly motivation. I believe I was right to start the debate because why would someone come on the LDS.net forum asking how much money one should spend on a present for a casual friend? I appreciate the OP coming back on and making the clarification. Many people posting don't do that.

I'm glad I am so important to you such that you waste your time writing all that up.

My apologies. TFP has me thinking on the defensive. Your point was on mark.

I am surprised at you and I must say, disappointed. You certainly understand my point yet you want to carry it on to aburdity. I expect it from TFP, but you, Anatess? Come'on.

I would never argue that you can't give a gift for any reason under the sun. I believe the OP was looking for guidance on what to gift home teachers as if there is an obligation to gift home teachers. I am saying there isn't an obligation and in fact have never heard anyone do so. I asked my home teachers about it just last night and they laughed and said they never heard of such a thing either - and they are High Priests with lots of years of home teaching experience.

There is a difference between the concept of gift giving for appreciation and gift giving because he is your home teacher. One thing that bothers me is the notion of "he". Home teachers do not do so singlely. There are two. So, if we talking about gift giving because he is a home teacher, you are talking about two gifts, not one. You may have turnover of HT during a year long period. Thay might make four gifts. It is unsustainable.

Serving as a home teacher is a calling and part of priesthood responsibility. You don't buy birthday gifts for your kids primary teachers or your sunday school teacher or ward clerk or mission leader or any other person because of their calling.

I've never given a teacher a gift and I don't know why I would even know my home teacher's birthday. I made my comment to make the point that in no way should one feel obligated to gift a home teacher. I personnally have never heard it in thirty years of membership. Now, visiting teachers giving tokens to the sisters they visit is common but, again, not due to obligation.

One reason your father's ward may have more Sisters assigned than Elders, is that many wards have the members housing the missionaries and many members cannot have, or do not want, Elders living in th home. It is easier to find housing for Sisters. My ward now has two sets of sisters and I haven't seen Elders in years. In my opinion, the Sisters may be too embarrassed to say 'no' to your father, or he makes it difficult for them to say no. He may be perceived as wealthy and that the gifts and meals are not extravagant for him. In either case, most missionaries would turn down the money and would not be comfortable eating a fancy meal. Ask your father to be considerate of the missionaries feelings and offer less or embarrass them less. Going out for meals is an ideal way of tackling what you saw as an issue of sisters not being alone with a single male. They should have discussed the matter with their leader and he may have given permission for them to be alone, due to your father's age. I'm sure every case is different and handling the situation is often done "by the Spirit." I might suggest you join your father in the discussions. This may curtain some of the behavior you are witnessing and will help you in understanding any decision he makes regarding baptism or activity in the Church.

You shouldn't be buying your home teacher gifts. Period. Making cookies is a good idea but only because you would do that for anyone you care for. It shouldn't be related to the fact they are your home teacher.

The people who run that country are pure evil. Given resources, they would run tyranny over the entire Mideast. Imposing sactions was not just about nuclear power. It has to do with state-sponsored terrorism accross the entire region and horrible atrocities they have imposed on their own people. If not for Russia supporting them, with their own limited amount of resources, Iran's leadership would have fallen long ago and there would be a limited democracy - and prosperity - there. To remove santions is to grow evil. We are unleashing Pandora's box.

I love Thailand and its people. I have been to the site with the bomb was detonated. Knowing the peace of those people was shattered is a devastating thought. They are just people going about their lives; not politician or soldiers. Just people going about their business.

There are private x-ray companies now but I think you need a prescription and I don't know if they do dental. I had a kidney stone last year and the urgent care charged $500.00. When I needed a followup (and wasn't in escruiating pain), I got a prescription for the private xray and cost me like $75.00. Crazy difference! I since needed another scan and just called in for the xray prescription.

I'm not one to study other faiths beyond basic tenents, so I'm not familiar with RLDS. However, I think your argument would require an example of what "revelations" or "new scriptures" are cannonized by them to show if they are contradictory to our own prophets. Put aside of course that they obviously accept their prophet as the prophet and that is in conflict, but what specific doctrine is contrary? I say this only as an intellectual excercise. If the Pope of the Roman Catholic church declared what is in essence our Word of Wisdom, we wouldn't be able to use that to say he isn't a prophet.

There is no "rule", only guidance. You would be wise to accept the guidance but nothing about datind exclusively excludes you from serving. Eowyn probably said it best. Give you heart to the gospel for now and your girlfriend should be acting in a supportive role. Your dates shouldn't (need not) be about "love" and "loving" each other. They should be "learning" about each other and supporting each other. Doing this does not conflict with your preparation for a mission.

I started to comment on this topic yesterday but deleted before posting. I wanted to say that you should be glad that your son is examining his faith and working through issues. Yes, he has grasped on to some bad precepts but he is young and you do have a few remaining years to have a direct impact. I also wanted to say many things as stated by others who have posted. I too think his arguments are too strong for a 14 year old; maybe a college kid. He is diving in too deep. He has some really bad influence affecting him. I would look for the root of that. If it is just from the internet, I would cut the cord. We don't really need social media as much as we think we do. We're not damaging young minds by denying them the internet. I believe long term studies will show that what we are going through now is just a social experiment and life is going to have to balance back to being disconnected/unwired (a balance anyway). Although the excercise of leaving the child home to do house work is valid, it isn't acknowledging the issue of building faith and would only work a few weeks until the child finds some other argument for rebellion. Then you have a precedent for not going to church and a new issue too. Given the deep physcosis of his argument against church/religion, I doubt discipline is going to be an effective way to teach, and I think the child would view it as dicipline. As for his soul, I am a believer that life has many turns as well as ups and downs. He has time to repent and turn back toward living a life with faith. It may not be a Peter Priesthood life, but he may in fact find faith somewhere. Just this weekend, I talked with a friend of my son's, who at 32 just discovered Jesus (using her term). She wasn't raised in any faith. She discovered Christ through influences and events happening in her life. Your son may do just the same. Keep praying and acting in faith yourself. Don't give up.

I use as my avatar the cover of a book called Natiya's Garden. It is a work of fiction intended to demonstrate how faith is aquired and excercised. In your scriptural quote, the meaning of perfect faith is nothing more than where your faith is to be placed, not the quality of your faith. Your actions of repentance and baptism are to be based on the savior and not any other motivating factor (i.e. fear, social acceptance, etc.).

Your story is like many others. Nobody is expected to wipe their slate clean before attending church. As long as you don't come in spouting off conflicting doctrine or intentionally challenging standard beliefs or cultural norms, you should find yourself very welcome. Some examples: Don't come in trying to explain to people why you smoke pot. Nobody cares (well, they 'care') and nobody really wants to know, until such time as you are seeking assistance in dealing with it. Don't justify your inactivity past or present. Don't challenge dress code (often a cultural thing). Don't brag about a new tatoo. Basically, ease yourself into the environment and quietly obsorb things. You are entering a still lake and splashing around will be noticed. But understand, there are people all around you who have a story much like your own and either worked past it or are now working with it. Welcome.