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I love sports. Both to play and to watch. I love college basketball and volleyball and have season tickets to both for a local Div I school a couple of miles from my home. My wife and I enjoy our game nights together. We, along with our adult son, play golf and tennis. Both are sports one can play throughout their life. Tennis, at least, is good exercise; golf usually puts you in nice, outdoor settings and we enjoy spending time together. We spent our 25th wedding anniversary in New York City being tourists by day and watching US Open tennis in person by night. It was one of our favorite trips. We even ran into Elder and Sister Perry a couple of times at our hotel. Whenever we travel in the summer we scope out if there is a major or minor league baseball team in town and will take in a game just to enjoy a nice evening. Our son plays pickup basketball each week at the church following YM/YW. He has developed a number of close friendships from those weekly games. I will travel a day’s journey in any direction to attend a football game for my alma mater. I live two time zones away so it’s a pleasure to be able to see them play in person on occasion. These end up being fun, family weekends. As a spectator, I enjoy watching people who are better at something than I am and I appreciate the effort it has taken them to be as good as they are. What I don’t understand is how people can get so worked up over their team, rivals or rival fans to the point where Dodgers / Giants games result in loss of life; where on-line commenters seem to shelve all civility in berating the players or fans of another team, etc. I mean, seriously, it’s just a game.

Like Vort, I am not a sister, but our situation was similar to yours. My wife was also a convert. We married in a civil ceremony in Michigan then were sealed a couple of months later in the Salt Lake Temple following the anniversary of her baptism. We were young, didn't have a lot of money as we were early in our careers so when we were sealed we simply rented clothing in the temple that we wore for the ordinance. In the couple of photos that were snapped on the grounds following, she wore a tailored, skirted suit that she also wore to work and church. It was winter so we both had overcoats on so there wasn't really much to see of our attire beneath. Buying a special, white dress for the sealing is entirely up to you. Your temple dress is sufficient for the ordinance. Best wishes as you prepare. I hope you enjoy your sealing as much as we continue to enjoy ours.

LDS_Doll, I served as a bishop for a little over 5 years. One of things my wife noticed immediately was when she walked into rooms at church conversations stopped. We wondered if it was just her but in comparing notes with other bishops in the stake with whom I was friends, it happened to their wives too. Another thing we discovered was that, like my wife, the wives all had a confidant with whom they could talk and at times vent. Having your husband serve as a bishop is HARD. Having that outlet was helpful. My wife has a close friend in the ward with whom she would talk. If it was more of a venting session she was call my sister who lives in another part of the country. Find someone, in the ward or not, with whom you can just talk. In your circumstance perhaps someone outside the ward would be better. As for members who spoke badly of me, I know there were some. It only occasionally got back to me...once in blistering detail on social media. Ouch. Fortunately, both of the stake presidents I served with seriously had my back with some very difficult issues. I'm afraid I don't have a really good suggestion for this part of your dilemma other than to encourage open and frequent communication between your husband and the stake president. I encourage you to ensure that you and your husband take special care to make time for each other that is inviolable. Your relationship together is the most important one. For me and my wife that was Friday evenings. We did the grocery shopping together, would take in a movie, watched Netflix, rode our bikes, whatever. But that was our evening. Figure out what works for you and stick with it. And make sure the executive secretary knows it as well. There were a couple of evenings where things went terribly. When I returned home I lay on the bed next to my wife and wept. She just held me. That was all she could offer and it meant the world to me. Make sure, no matter what, you and your husband stand together. Stay strong. Every day is one day closer to his being released......

I just listened to the press conference discussing the upcoming project to restore the Salt Lake Temple. The link below provides photos of what the update to the SL Temple will look like. One of the interesting notes that came out of the Q&A with the press is that discussions around this overall project began while Pres. Hinckley was the prophet with the hard core planning taking place over the past 2-3 years. Some comments I picked up while listening to the news conference and Q&A: The renovation project will take 5 years. The temple will close December 29, 2019 and reopen in 2024. There will be a public open house prior to a re-dedication at completion of the project. Historical note: there was a brief, 1-day tour/open house the day prior to the original dedication where local civic leaders were invited to attend. It is anticipated the public open house will be HUGE. The foundations of the temple will be isolated from the bedrock upon which it’s built for earthquake protection. The manner will be similar to what was done with the Santiago Chile temple. Major upgrades will be made to HVAC, mechanical, etc. systems within the temple. The South Visitor Center and Temple Annex will both be removed. The Annex will be replaced by redesigned entry facilities including a new “Grand Hall” (see photos). The South Visitor Center will be replaced by two “visitor pavilions”, no additional details given on these as they haven’t really been fleshed out. The large, granite walls along North Temple and South Temple streets will be removed and replaced with fencing and gating that will provide much more open views of the temple. There will also be enhanced access to the immediate area around the temple. There was no discussion of whether the walls around the western half of Temple Square would be updated as well. The Main Street Plaza will also be reconfigured. Refer to the photos for what it will ultimately look like. The endowment will be available in 86 languages following the project. The ordinance will be available via film as well as continued live presentations. Efforts will be made to renew interior features to their original condition and pallet. E.g., wall, floor and ceiling colors (much more colorful than now), murals will be refurbished, etc. Slots are filling up fast for sealing rooms for the rest of 2019. Members currently assigned to the SL Temple will NOT be assigned to other temples during the project. They are invited to attend any available temple. Other temples in the area are preparing for anticipated increased patronage. Sister missionaries will continue to serve on Temple Square during the renovation as Temple Square (think west of the temple) will continue to be open to the public. The temple will be covered with scaffolding for a significant portion of the project. This is the link to the newsroom article with photos and a replay of the news conference: https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/plans-unveiled-salt-lake-temple-renovation

While I was serving as bishop, one testimony-er was sharing some tender mercies they'd experienced while dealing with a recent medical issue. No worries there. It was when they started talking about test results for their urine and stool samples that I got up and whispered in their ear. The first fast and testimony meeting after I was released, when I could sit back and just listen, was when I realized just how stressful those meetings had been for me. My not-so-righteous desire was to wear a blue shirt for Sunday services while bishop. The only reason I could come up with to do so was that it would tweak some people in the congregation. I didn't figure that was an appropriate reason.

I assume from context you meant discreet. :-) Although technically one would also be discrete. Discretely discreet? Discreetly discrete? Are they the same.....? I do the same when in a public changing space. Interestingly, I'm more self-conscious about my garments and changing in a public locker room when I am in the Salt Lake area than when doing so in my Midwestern locale. Much more so. Perhaps it's an assumption that folks in Utah, member of the Church or not, are more familiar with garments while elsewhere they are simply seen as another style of underwear.

A couple of related thoughts from a former bishop: The pertinent item from HB2 about who presides in the absence of a bishop and his counselors has already been shared. Beyond noting that the one presiding should sit on the stand, there is no other direction given in the handbook as to who should or should not sit on the stand. Twice, when both of my counselors were out of town and no members of the stake presidency were going to be in attendance, I had my wife sit with me on the stand. The option of asking the HPG leader or EQ president to join me didn’t seem appropriate as both had young children. It didn’t seem like a good thing to pull them away from their family. Both times I gave the stake president a heads up in advance and asked if he had any heartburn with her sitting with me. Both times he said no. Both of my counselors had multiple young children. I told them that on weeks where they were not conducting, they were welcome to leave the stand following the sacrament and sit with their families. One occasionally took me up on the opportunity; the other said his kids behaved better when he was on the stand so he would remain there. Our current bishop has gone one step further and has asked that his counselors leave the stand to sit with their families following the sacrament if they’re not conducting. Another question that would come up occasionally was whether the bishopric should sit on the right or left side of the rostrum. After much fasting a prayer we decided we would sit where the pulpit controls were located.

I suspect this is just a matter of it being technically and financially feasible to reach out to all the members of the Church prior to going to the press. When President Monson was announced, I don't there was much in the way of live streaming yet; I don't think the Church was sending out mass e-mails yet; at the time live Church-wide communication was broadcast over the satellite network. I think they are having the member broadcast simply because they can relatively easily and with minimal cost, unlike scheduling satellite time. I think it's a nice touch and plan to have a window open on my second monitor at work to watch.

"You can serve a public affairs mission!" I have been keeping an eye on the senior missionary opportunities on lds.org, particularly the public affairs needs. My wife and I have chatted a couple of times about deciding whether we'd like to serve such a mission in Manhattan or Sydney. Both would be fun.

Many good suggestions here that you can try. Bottom line, you need to be comfortable with your plan and do what works for you. When I was bishop I had folks who paid annually, some paid weekly or monthly. Others would pay a portion of their tithing monthly then do a true-up at tithing settlement. There was one individual who would frequently hand me multiple donation envelopes at once. I guess they had a supply at home and filled one out each time they got a paycheck but didn't always remember to bring them to church each week. Others just put a stamp on the donation envelope and mailed it to me. I can assure you that your bishop and his counselors will not mind if you hand them an envelope - or multiple envelopes - every week. If nothing else it gives them the opportunity to shake your hand and say hello. One constraint I put on people making donations was if they tried to hand me an envelope somewhere away from church I would ask that they wait until Sunday and give it to me at church. For example, I was sitting at a college basketball game when a member of the ward sitting near me tried to hand me a donation envelope. I declined; they were a bit put out by it. Two reasons for my action: 1) it reduces the risk that I might lose it, and 2) the bishop isn't supposed to hold onto donated funds; they're supposed to be recorded and deposited as soon as possible. The only exception I made was for donations that came in the mail which I would take with me to church each week.

I'm also on this mailing list from my time as a bishop. Most of what is received is unreadable due to poor grammar, repetition, nonsensical statements, etc. They usually only show up every few months, but 3 have arrived in relatively quick succession recently. The item noted in the original post, below, was included in a revelation given June 2, so this event should have occurred on June 3, at midnight UK time if I recall correctly (I don't have the revelation in front of me). I missed the headline if it occurred. There is a subsequent revelation that I received a couple of days ago indicating that the event on June 3 was actually something about a Keyholder being placed on the earth on June 4. This confused me as I thought Warren Jeffs was the Keyholder. Two revelations ago there was a verse indicating that Warren Jeffs would be delivered from his prison. This generated discussion with my wife about there being scriptural precedent for prison walls crumbling. In this most recent revelation this was updated with some information about paperwork needing to be filed for Jeffs to be released, followed by a verse where God commands that Jeffs' captors release him immediately. Again, I must have missed this headline. The first one of these I received following my release as bishop, I handed off to our current bishop with an explanation of where they come from. I offered, and he accepted, to to have me hand off any additional ones I receive. I assume Jeffs' followers pulled contact information for bishops off the public Internet to create their distribution list. It obviously isn't meticulously kept up to date. I've also wondered if the collection of names and addresses was a manual process; if so, I wonder how many of the 29,000-ish bishops were included on the list. These wonderings do not keep me awake at night.

Prior to my mission I was invited to participate in proxy ordinances for individuals who had died after having been excommunicated. We were baptized as a proxy like you would be for any deceased individual. I don't recall any differences in the wording of the ordinance. As part of the confirmation ordinance, priesthood ordination and temple blessings were restored. Based on the wording of that ordinance I assume no other proxy work would be required for the individual. I don't know what was done to prepare the names for the ordinances as I was not involved in that part of the process. We were required to have already been endowed in order to stand as proxy due to the restoration of temple blessings. So to the original question, yes, there is an ordinance for the restoration of blessings for one who passes away following excommunication. Fun aside: This all occurred in the Salt Lake Temple. Following the ordinances we were sitting waiting for something or someone when then-Elder Monson walked in, greeted us and chatted for a few moments about the importance of the work we'd just done.

I’ve served as bishop for just over 5 years. Several weeks prior to meeting with the stake president I’d received a witness that the call was coming. Even so I spent sleepless nights when the call came wondering what I’d gotten myself into by accepting and how could I, with all my warts and weaknesses, be considered worthy and able. I’ve reached a point that while not really comfortable with the calling I at least somewhat know what I’m doing. There is a sizable number of people who on a regular basis offer thanks to me for what I do, but there are also those who are not happy with me or feel I’ve failed them. With them feeling that way I suppose it’s safe to say that I have. While serving, our ward council has seen some changes. Including those who were serving when I was ordained and set apart we’ve had: 5 bishop’s counselors, 3 executive secretaries, 2 ward clerks, 2 RS presidents, 4 YW presidents, 5 Primary presidents, 3 YM presidents, 3 HPG leaders, 4 EQ presidents, 4 SS presidents and 4 ward mission leaders. A number of those served for relatively short durations prior to moving out of the ward and a couple of the women were released when they were dealing with problem pregnancies. Bottom line, lots of fluidity in the ward council and much more when looking within the organizations. I suppose I could say I’ve had 7 counselors as the two women who served as RS president have been de facto counselors for me. As you would expect, the hours of working to keep up with everything have at times been long. The phone calls at all hours are trying. My favorite question to ask when an issue is brought to me is, “who is the home/visiting teacher?” I’m a big fan of delegation and have done so extensively. Even with doing so, it’s been a hard row to hoe. On the other hand I love the kids in the Primary and I am not a “kid” person. I’m tickled when a child’s eyes light up because, “…THE BISHOP BUMPED FISTS WITH ME!!!” My absolute favorite part of the call has been to interview the kids just prior to their baptism (with the office door cracked and their parents sitting right outside). The best one was the boy who had a cheat sheet in his little suit pocket so he could give the right answers. My amazement and gratefulness for how so many people step up to help others in so many ways grows daily. But I’ve also been burned by individuals who know and milk the system. That hurts. I will note that I’ve not yet been officially released. I traded e-mails with my stake president – with whom I am very good friends – to nail down the date the bishopric will be reorganized. He will be meeting with my wife and me prior to extend the official release. I’ve long thought that learning of my release would be a joyous day. Not so. I’m feeling a sense of loss. Of what exactly I haven’t yet figured out. When I was first sustained my wife gave me a card that said, “Congratulations and Condolences”. The same card could apply now. I’m left pondering, what comes next?

We'd planned to travel with our son to drop him off at the the MTC in Provo. When he received his call he was told to report to the CCM in Mexico City so we adjusted our plans and figured we'd take in some sights and still be able to make a warm hand off at the doorstep of the CCM. As we coordinated with missionary travel they noted he would be collected at the airport by CCM personnel upon his arrival. That kind of put a wrinkle in our plans which we ended up cancelling. Putting this 18-year old on a flight to a foreign country that uses a different language without a friend or family member to greet him upon arrival was about the hardest thing I have ever done. I spent the night before lying awake praying for him and pleading for strength for me and my wife. As we were checking him in at the airport, the ticketing agent recognized this was an emotional event for us. She gave us gate passes which allowed us though security and into the gate area. Those extra 90 minutes with him were golden. And then he left, entering the gangway with a smile on his face.......

I'm a bishop. I had a beard until a couple of weeks ago. Nothing was said about it to me by my stake president, nor did I ask his permission prior to growing it. I shaved it as golf season has arrived in earnest and I don't want a two-toned face. I may grow it again next winter, we'll see. Another of the bishops in our stake had a beard when he was called (while serving on the high council); he was not asked to shave. In our stake at least, a beard seems to be a non-issue for bishops.

I am a bishop but am not of the tribe of Levi. At the time of my calling I was already an ordained high priest so that didn't need to take place. After being sustained by the congregation I was ordained a bishop and immediately set apart as the bishop of the ward as part of the same laying on of hands. This was done by the stake president under delegated authority from the First Presidency. (I have the letter giving him the authorization to carry out the ordination / setting apart). The two counselors in the stake presidency and my father also stood in for the ordinance. When the time comes I'll be release as the bishop of the ward, but will still be an ordained bishop. The ordination to this office does not affect my priesthood line of authority which continues to be driven by my ordination as a high priest. If I am ever called to serve as the bishop of a ward in the future I would need only be set apart for that particular calling. As for how folks address me, just about everyone refers to me as "Bishop..." pretty much all the time. I play golf with one of my counselors and our financial clerk. I have to repeatedly ask them to use my first name while on the golf course. They've only known me as bishop so it must be odd for them. For my longer-term friends they typically use my first name when we interact socially and "bishop" when we're interacting related to church items. My wife and I are very good friends with our YM president and our RS president who are husband and wife. We were all friends for years prior to any of us being in our current callings. When I call, text or e-mail them I will start with "Brother ..." or "Sister ...." and identify myself or sign with "Bishop..." if it's church related. If my communication is not related to church I use their first names and sign with my first name. They follow the same standard as it gives each of us immediate clues as to what the communication is about. When I'm released, I expect those who have known me only as "Bishop..." may continue to call me that for a bit simply out of habit, but otherwise I would expect to revert to "Bro. ..." or my first name pretty much immediately.

"Then how there are certain areas in America where the missionaries can't go. Where it is too dangerous and corrupt. And someone said but there are no such areas in California, they are mostly back east. So I offered Chicago, and Detroit, and Oakland CA" There are missionaries assigned to Detroit. Not just to the areas around Detroit proper, but in the inner city. Also Flint and Pontiac, a couple of other cities that are probably not very high on anyone's vacation list. It's interesting talking to the elders and sisters; they tend to be a bit nervous about being assigned to Detroit, but they all come out having enjoyed the assignment and the challenges that go with it. They speak glowingly of the people they worked with. While I can't speak to Chicago, Oakland or anywhere else, I suspect Detroit is like just about any other large city in the US....