my two cents

Think about the consequences - if going out to celebrate such an important milestone will make both of you feel good, even just for a night, then go out. If going out will make one of you feel guilty or remorse, then find another way to celebrate that won't cost as much. Whether you go out or not, the important thing is to find a way to celebrate that you will both enjoy and feel good about and remember fondly. I've always thought that its not where you go or what you do that makes for a good occasion, but who you're with and how you feel about each other.

I read the OP and a smattering of posts throughout. If I understand correctly, church authority has forbidden the baptism of children who's parents are engaging in homosexual acts (I'm assuming, perhaps wrongly, that those who struggle with same-sex attraction, but choose abstinence, would not be restricted). This makes sense to me. It's similar to Catholic authority asking those who are living in on-going sexual sin not to partake in the Eucharist.
@Maureen wondered if similar restrictions should be placed on the children of non-LDS parents, even if they agree to the baptism. My thought is that the situations are quite different. Non-LDS are simply unconverted. They have not agreed to covenants (or standards of scriptural morality), and then broken them. So, a couple has a child join church-sponsored activities, likes the positivity, and then agrees to let that child be baptized when s/he asks for it.  Taken to its extreme, @Maureen's suggestion would mean that churches would not even try to minister to young people, through Sunday School and Children's church, unless the parents came too.  That would have kept me out.  I'm am so grateful and humbled by the sincere and tireless work of the van drivers and captains, the Sunday School workers and teachers, the youth leaders, the speakers at our conventions, and the adults who gave us "bus kids" the time of day.
Consider too that LDS theology does not deny the children of active homosexuals an eternal glory. It honors the family unit, and encourages them to make decisions about the higher realms when they are mature enough to do so independently of the God-appointed stewards.  God knows every family and every circumstances. I may not be LDS, but I think the church showed wisdom in both of these challenging issues.

It seems to me that Roo's parents were ok with the baptism since permission was needed but have since developed issues. Should the Church really be expected to change it's policy when it's the relatives that change their tune because they possibly feel threatened by a child's high standards??
please pardon any assumptions made - just illustrating a point

The way you describe his mother very much sounds like my mother, but your mother in law sounds much, much worse in degree. My mother has mental illness. She can be very difficult.
My brother and his wife had such a hard time with her (and my brother's marriage was suffering because of our mother) that they felt they should cut off all contact with her. And they did just that. They tried to get me to join them, and cut off all contact with her, but I didn't feel right about it. After a few years my brother and his wife started allowing limited contact with my mother. 
The lesson I learned is that if your're not at a place where you can handle the abuse, then perhaps cutting off all contact is the best thing for you. Then later as you mature, you may be able to handle a relationship with the toxic person. There is no one solution for everyone, it depends on where you are at emotionally, how abusive she is, and other factors like your children.
I would be more careful about letting her have a relationship with your [as yet unborn] children. Remember, children are very impressionable. Based on what you've said, I would think very strongly about moving away when children come, if not now. The alternative is to somehow draw up some extremely strict boundaries and sticking to them. Be ready to call the police if she won't let you leave, or if she won't let you leave. 
One idea you could try is a trial period. Do not allow any contact for a short time, say 3 months or 6 months. This may give you and your husband some time to reset. Perhaps by doing this you and your husband may come to some realizations. For example, your husband may start realizing some of the more subtle ways he was abused (this may not apply to him, depends on the abuser, my mother is a master manipulator [confirmed by my father's counselor] so some of her abuse is subtle, yet still abuse.) Or you may realize your marriage has fewer problems all around without her in your lives. Or you may realize that you really should include her in your life a little more. 
God bless. 

If the child is put in the middle, it's because the parents changed their tune - not the Church! So again, why should the Church change their policy just because parents might be flaky and/or feel threatened by their child's high standards?

Wow! That's a long time and I applaud you for your dedication! Given the number of years, I really don't think anyone would fault you for speaking up. I will caution you though, that it could be worse. If you truly are willing to serve anywhere else, then do something about this but if there are some callings you would really have a hard time with, then maybe talk to the Primary Presidency about changing things up (ie Sunbeams is a whole different ball game than the 10 year olds).  You could also just start taking a break from time to time and get a sub so you can attend other classes or a different ward. Just something to consider.  Oh, and welcome to the forum!

Meanwhile, it occurs to me that Roo's posts herein prove that she was ready for baptism.  And I haven't seen her say she wishes she'd waited, despite her trials.  None of us have any right at all to tell her she shouldn't have been baptized. So the instance that initiated this discussion disproves the "wait" claim.

@SpiritDragon Makes a great point about listening to our bodies. I know someone that was participating in something like the spartan challenge and felt pain but pushed through it anyway. He ended up having a stroke. He was in his 30s at the time and has had various issues since. 

Thank you all!
I haven't decided my baptism date yet but I'll hope it'll be soon! 

That's Awesome!!! 

@SpiritDragon Makes a great point about listening to our bodies. I know someone that was participating in something like the spartan challenge and felt pain but pushed through it anyway. He ended up having a stroke. He was in his 30s at the time and has had various issues since. 

@SpiritDragon Makes a great point about listening to our bodies. I know someone that was participating in something like the spartan challenge and felt pain but pushed through it anyway. He ended up having a stroke. He was in his 30s at the time and has had various issues since. 

It seems to me that Roo's parents were ok with the baptism since permission was needed but have since developed issues. Should the Church really be expected to change it's policy when it's the relatives that change their tune because they possibly feel threatened by a child's high standards??
please pardon any assumptions made - just illustrating a point

It seems to me that Roo's parents were ok with the baptism since permission was needed but have since developed issues. Should the Church really be expected to change it's policy when it's the relatives that change their tune because they possibly feel threatened by a child's high standards??
please pardon any assumptions made - just illustrating a point

@a mustard seed It may sound silly to be careful with a walking program, but what you're describing could be the very early stages of shin splints (which can actually be a number of things, but generally refers to excess stress leading to inflammation in the tendons of the shin). It could be a good idea to avoid the hill altogether until you are feeling more accomplished as a walker - at least consider taking it slow on the hill and taking breaks when you feel your shins are burning too much. There is no shame in being conservative with your exercise program to avoid injury. The number one cause of people quitting an exercise routine seems to be loss of motivation from set-backs such as injuries, I know you want to push yourself, and you should, but be careful and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.The thing is that your body might be telling you to scale back before it tells you stop outright because the pain becomes nearly unbearable. I'm not trying to scare you out of walking, I just want you to be aware that what you're describing sounds like it could quickly turn into shin pain that is a problem during regular walking in day to day activities and it's not fun. 
Here's a decent article to read on some of the most common walking injuries to look out for:
http://www.prevention.com/fitness/fitness-tips/solutions-10-biggest-walking-pains
Train safely  

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Thank you for letting your light shine, Roo!  You have wisdom beyond your years. So impressed!

Thank you @my two cents

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Thank you for letting your light shine, Roo!  You have wisdom beyond your years. So impressed!

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Thank you for letting your light shine, Roo!  You have wisdom beyond your years. So impressed!

For the longest time I have struggled with testimonies. Never in my life have I gone up on a fast Sunday and shared my thoughts on faith with the church.
Im that person who so badly wants to go up, but I dont know what to say, and I was always scared that someone would think that my feelings were wrong.
At testimony meeting someone would go up and bear their testimony and then go sit back down. I would start to stand up, and then sit. I would tell myself, Okay, ill go after this person. But I never did.
Then came Girls Camp. Testimony campfire. I think all female mormons know what that means. I heard so many beautiful testimonies, and one by one a girl would stand up and share her feelings toward the church. By the 2nd girl to share her testimony, everyone was either balling or had tears running down her cheeks.
I remember that year I felt so badly that I needed to stand up and bear my testimony. The bishop asked if there was anybody left that wanted to share. I felt the urge to stand up. Stand up! But I didnt, and that concluded the testimony meeting.
The next year for Girls Camp came around again, and I knew I needed to share my testimony. I felt even stronger this year that that was what I needed to do, it was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.
Once again the Bishop stood up and asked for any last testimonies. I didnt stand up. One of our leaders stood up and bore her testimony.
Then again: Anyone else before we close?
But this time I stood up.
And for the first time in my life, I bore my testimony.
After the campfire was over, I pondered on how I got that strenght, that courage. I felt so strongly that there was a reason that that time, out of all the testimony meetings and talks in church and campfires at camp, that was the time I got the strenght to bear my testimony.
I looked through my camp manual and found the mission statement for beehives on page 3:
"A Beehive becomes a Young Woman of Truth as she follows the promptings of the Holy Ghost, seeks truth, and strives to live and share it."
I knew then and there that this is why I felt the need to share my testimony. The Holy Ghost was promting me most definitely. But the part that I thought most of was strives to live and share it. As a beehive I had not been striving to share it, though I had been living it.
As I said my prayers that night, I realized that sharing the truth is not just about helping others to find it for themselves, it also helps you. Sharing my testimony shined a whole new light for me, and never had I felt the spirit so strongly than at that very moment. I knew that the spirit was with me, and that Heavenly Father was proud of me for listening to that still small voice.
My Heavenly Father wanted me to fulfill my duty as a beehive to share the truth with others. That was my last year as a beehive, so I am so grateful I was given the strength to do what I needed to do.
As I prepare to become a Mia Maid, I will share my testimony and feelings with others as much as possible, because I know I can feel that spirit again.

Hi @a mustard seed in my experience working with weight-loss clients it is beneficial to reframe goals into controllable behaviours and not focus on the outcome that is not directly in one's control. This is not to say that one doesn't still have intentions to lose weight, but doesn't use weight-loss as the metric of success on the journey. The reasoning for this is fairly simple - since a person doesn't have direct control over their weight it's a punishing measurement to use for gauging success and ultimately leads to attrition from feelings of failure when plateaus inevitably arise. On the other hand if an individual focuses on behaviours, such as walking a mile a day  and later adds another such as eating three servings of vegetables with each meal and then another like drinking two to three liters of water daily these are entirely in the persons control and can be checked off daily building feelings of success. In this way there are clear guidelines by which success is dictated, independent of the outcome. As far as making sure that the behaviours are relevant to the desired outcome, it is a good idea to re-assess from time to time using the outcome as a guide-post - with weight-loss this is done by having occasional weigh-ins to see if the behaviours are working to create the desired change. If the behaviours have not been working, but someone has been faithfully doing them, then the plan behind the behaviours could need tweaking which usually involves increasing either the time or intensity of physical activity and consuming either smaller portions of food or changing out to higher volumes of food with less calories (more vegetables, less refined grain and meat, possibly eliminating liquid calories except on very special occasions).
With new weight-loss clients the way I like to word this is that I am responsible for devising a plan that works and they are responsible to follow it. If they follow it to the letter and do not see results, than the fault rests with my plan and I will modify it, but they have not failed - the plan has. If however, they have not followed the plan, the fault is with them and not the plan, so the only reason to change the plan is to make it more accessible - essentially building up to it more gradually, otherwise simply changing things up and saying the plan didn't work for them is inaccurate and leads to going in circles because we never actually determined what's working because it wasn't done. When devising your own plan be sure not to associate a failure of a given plan with your own failure, you only fail if you give up entirely. Everybody has unique biochemistry and metabolic needs as well as personal preferences and belief systems, so while the same principles work for *everyone (eat fewer calories/ move more) the application of those principles can vary from person to person as far as what works.
* In some extreme cases with underlying conditions a case can be made for some rare outliers where these principles alone may not get the job done. You've already lost over four pounds so your not one of them.

We have talked about asking his brother to come live with us, but we aren't sure if that will cause more contention or not. Right now, since he is working EFY, he is not at home, so things are good for him. I will be interested to see what happens when he goes to return to school. If things seem to get too hard for him at home, my husband and I want to invite him to come live with us, but we'll see. He may have something of his own worked out then. 
There is some good news for my husband's two little brothers (the twins)! They really pushed to get their papers started, and things are slowly moving.  We just all hope they continue to move forward. 

Again update!  the problem I spoke of is solved. And another big announcement.  I have decided I'm going to join the mormon church. It just feels so right to me I can't even describe it.  

Welcome to the forum!  I love that you're progressing towards this and doing what you can by going to do baptisms. In my stake, if you're not going on a mission or getting married, you need to be at least 25 and no matter how excited the bishop was for someone to go, the stake president was very hesitant to budge and turned eager people down. If it is deemed that you're too young, I suggest diving into family history and getting names ready (as well as indexing to help others do the same). There are also things you can read so you'll be even more prepared when you go (The Holy Temple by Packer to name one).

Welcome to the forum!  I love that you're progressing towards this and doing what you can by going to do baptisms. In my stake, if you're not going on a mission or getting married, you need to be at least 25 and no matter how excited the bishop was for someone to go, the stake president was very hesitant to budge and turned eager people down. If it is deemed that you're too young, I suggest diving into family history and getting names ready (as well as indexing to help others do the same). There are also things you can read so you'll be even more prepared when you go (The Holy Temple by Packer to name one).