my two cents

@HelamansArmy - I just want to echo what's been said previously - your ward is quite fortunate to have you and I hope they will see that!.  I'm quite impressed with your willingness to dive in as well as listen/consider the suggestions made here. Here's to your success!

One other thought (and please pardon me if it has already been brought up) - With this 'when I'm 30' plan - you are sending a signal to those you date/courtship that your career and 'passion' for it is a higher priority than marriage/family.  I don't know any woman who wants to hear that she would be second fiddle to career pursuits.  There have been times that my husband has gone to whatever lengths he has needed to to take time off because I needed him more than his employer.

One other thought (and please pardon me if it has already been brought up) - With this 'when I'm 30' plan - you are sending a signal to those you date/courtship that your career and 'passion' for it is a higher priority than marriage/family.  I don't know any woman who wants to hear that she would be second fiddle to career pursuits.  There have been times that my husband has gone to whatever lengths he has needed to to take time off because I needed him more than his employer.

Agree with the above and will add:
As mentioned, there may be some level of depression going on.  It could also be that she doesn't like her job and/or it's very draining for her and doesn't have anything else to give.  It could be that she thinks you're a great cook or doesn't feel confident in the kitchen.  She could also be testing you to see how much you really love her and if you can ride it out, the test will end.  As right or wrong as the above may be, you need to try to see where she's coming from and realize that her 30% effort may be someone else's 80%. Stop the negative labels and remember why you married her.  

written before HA's second post showed up - 
I agree with JAG about it being a lot to cover in one meeting.  Aside from your agenda, a couple thoughts that came to my (female) mind:
- Would it be possible to give each pres member a specific role to be over (ie pres - relieve poor, 1c - redeem dead, 2c - proclaim gospel, etc).  That way it all gets attention and everyone feels they have a focus so-to-speak.
- It sounds like you first need to build the quorum and have some social activities (a variety to cover more interests).  People are more willing to ht and serve when there's more of a relationship.
- You may also want to consider expanding their thoughts on how ht can be done.  For instance, a letter may not be ideal but it's better than nothing. (from chi 7.4.1 -  Home teachers may also find other meaningful ways to watch over and strengthen the families they are assigned. For example, they may render service to the families or contact family members by mail or telephone.)

Agree with the above and will add:
As mentioned, there may be some level of depression going on.  It could also be that she doesn't like her job and/or it's very draining for her and doesn't have anything else to give.  It could be that she thinks you're a great cook or doesn't feel confident in the kitchen.  She could also be testing you to see how much you really love her and if you can ride it out, the test will end.  As right or wrong as the above may be, you need to try to see where she's coming from and realize that her 30% effort may be someone else's 80%. Stop the negative labels and remember why you married her.  

Im so glad you decided to give me "your two cents". Your suggestions are very well received. Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback. I agree with your suggestion to divide the efforts among members of the Presidency. The work I would like to accomplish is a tall order. Giving individuals in the Presidency ownership of certain agenda items will allow us to all work on certain parts simultaneously. You are right, I need have a laser focus on building or rebuilding the relationships between quorum members to make HomeTeaching efforts more successful. I also appreciate your insight on collaborating and "expanding" our efforts by soliciting input from others on how we can best serve and implement each task..  THANK YOU!  

FYI - snopes is run by a liberal couple so I wouldn't consider that website a reliable source

FYI - snopes is run by a liberal couple so I wouldn't consider that website a reliable source

FYI - snopes is run by a liberal couple so I wouldn't consider that website a reliable source

First, congratulations on finishing college - not everyone does.  I suggest you separate your various issues and not entangle them (and shelve your sexuality/dating for now).  You can start developing a relationship with God regardless of your sexuality and that is something you can do immediately to feel like you're making progress and getting out of your rut. Say a prayer now, read some scriptures now, etc.  As far as having a purpose, start serving others!  Do something every day for someone else either personally or with an organization (or several).  This will give you something to do and also helps you see outside of yourself.  It could also build your resume.  Win-Win-Win!  As far as money - start a blog or etsy shop (I've heard some do really well!) or go around the neighborhood offering to run errands, do all sorts of odd jobs or even be a nanny.  Have you looked into being a sub for the school district?  I don't know how many jobs you'll find in your field/s but I have a brother-in-law who graduated from college and has never worked in a job that he got a degree in (realized it would never support a family).  Sometimes a degree is just to boost your resume since it shows perseverance.  Hope this is helpful and that things turn around for you soon. 

Admin: if this is not the right forum please move
 
So the date of my Baptism is set for February 18th, (tentatively) and I have my baptismal interview  on the 14th of February. Confirmation will be on the 19th.

First, congratulations on finishing college - not everyone does.  I suggest you separate your various issues and not entangle them (and shelve your sexuality/dating for now).  You can start developing a relationship with God regardless of your sexuality and that is something you can do immediately to feel like you're making progress and getting out of your rut. Say a prayer now, read some scriptures now, etc.  As far as having a purpose, start serving others!  Do something every day for someone else either personally or with an organization (or several).  This will give you something to do and also helps you see outside of yourself.  It could also build your resume.  Win-Win-Win!  As far as money - start a blog or etsy shop (I've heard some do really well!) or go around the neighborhood offering to run errands, do all sorts of odd jobs or even be a nanny.  Have you looked into being a sub for the school district?  I don't know how many jobs you'll find in your field/s but I have a brother-in-law who graduated from college and has never worked in a job that he got a degree in (realized it would never support a family).  Sometimes a degree is just to boost your resume since it shows perseverance.  Hope this is helpful and that things turn around for you soon. 

Putting my admin hat on here.  This particular forum was designed that those struggling could come and discuss and get advice.  The responses should be encouraging and uplifting and nothing more than that.  Let's keep that in mind when we are responding.  
This is what it says in the description for this forum:
No judgement, demeaning or derogatory posts allowed: "To the wounded and the weary / I would show a gentle heart." Focus on the positives, the pure love of Christ, and how we can rise above to overcome difficult times.

hello! I am in the SAME situation as you, only I've been studying the church off and on for years now. I've meet missionaries multiple times and completed the lessons with them probably 5 times or so! Been meeting for 10 years. I was never willing to make the changes I needed to though (smoking cigs, tea etc) and it's prevented me from moving forward. I am a little older now, less stubborn and feel as though I finally received a testimony for myself and so, I'm meeting with them again, only this time I've kicked my Cig habit! So, I just continue meeting missionaries, praying for direction and strength and of course, I also put in my own work (to live properly) and that's just kinda of what I'm doing now and where I'm at. 
i haven't been baptized yet though we are talking about it now and planning it. I have a couple other things I'm working on before, but I defiantly want it and now that I know for sure it's the truth, I can't turn away. Once you know, you know. And when you have that testimony, you will know what you need to do. Most importantly, don't let your own will stop you from doing it if you know it to be true. I did that and regret it. I spent many years going in circles all because of my own laziness
so, I just encourage you to continue praying , learning, reading and studying. Once you gain a testimony and feel answered, you will know what to do.its just up to you to do it.
i wish you luck and I hope you are meeting with missionaries. They're a wonderful tool when going through this.
and if you would like to chat further or whatever else, feel free to message me here or on private anytime!
 

I’ve served as bishop for just over 5 years.  Several weeks prior to meeting with the stake president I’d received a witness that the call was coming.  Even so I spent sleepless nights when the call came wondering what I’d gotten myself into by accepting and how could I, with all my warts and weaknesses, be considered worthy and able.  I’ve reached a point that while not really comfortable with the calling I at least somewhat know what I’m doing.  There is a sizable number of people who on a regular basis offer thanks to me for what I do, but there are also those who are not happy with me or feel I’ve failed them.  With them feeling that way I suppose it’s safe to say that I have.


 


While serving, our ward council has seen some changes.  Including those who were serving when I was ordained and set apart we’ve had:  5 bishop’s counselors, 3 executive secretaries, 2 ward clerks, 2 RS presidents, 4 YW presidents, 5 Primary presidents, 3 YM presidents, 3 HPG leaders, 4 EQ presidents, 4 SS presidents and 4 ward mission leaders.  A number of those served for relatively short durations prior to moving out of the ward and a couple of the women were released when they were dealing with problem pregnancies.  Bottom line, lots of fluidity in the ward council and much more when looking within the organizations.  I suppose I could say I’ve had 7 counselors as the two women who served as RS president have been de facto counselors for me.

 
As you would expect, the hours of working to keep up with everything have at times been long.  The phone calls at all hours are trying.  My favorite question to ask when an issue is brought to me is, “who is the home/visiting teacher?”  I’m a big fan of delegation and have done so extensively.  Even with doing so, it’s been a hard row to hoe.


 
On the other hand I love the kids in the Primary and I am not a “kid” person.  I’m tickled when a child’s eyes light up because, “…THE BISHOP BUMPED FISTS WITH ME!!!”  My absolute favorite part of the call has been to interview the kids just prior to their baptism (with the office door cracked and their parents sitting right outside).  The best one was the boy who had a cheat sheet in his little suit pocket so he could give the right answers.  My amazement and gratefulness for how so many people step up to help others in so many ways grows daily.  But I’ve also been burned by individuals who know and milk the system.  That hurts.


 
I will note that I’ve not yet been officially released.  I traded e-mails with my stake president – with whom I am very good friends – to nail down the date the bishopric will be reorganized.  He will be meeting with my wife and me prior to extend the official release.


 
I’ve long thought that learning of my release would be a joyous day.  Not so.  I’m feeling a sense of loss.  Of what exactly I haven’t yet figured out.  When I was first sustained my wife gave me a card that said, “Congratulations and Condolences”.  The same card could apply now.


 
I’m left pondering, what comes next?