Lost Boy

I guess then instead of the camera, she may be getting a new phone.

Am I reading that right? Only Samsung is allowed?

I do not know shoes in the least. Any recommendations? I kind of think this is something I could get her, but not really as a birthday present. Something that I rather take her somewhere and do some shopping with her.

What is the current policy on missionaries having a cell phone? I ask because my daughter is putting her papers in and we think she is finally mature enough to get a cell phone.... No, I ask because I am thinking of what to get her for her birthday and if missionaries are allowed cell phones, then maybe a camera wouldn't be the best present. And just to be clear, she has had a cell phone for many years. For any of you ladies that served missions is there anything that you would have really liked to receive before going on a mission?

I called it last year that church was going to change the policy on Temple marriage. https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900069248/church-marriage-temple-sealing-policy-mormon-lds.html?fbclid=IwAR2sZrIlNUt0XekdNoNL4Tje3fFGMGLoL3MOtp7frwE0er03aPEhh9VrSMQ This is a good change. Let everyone celebrate the marriage. Let the sealing be sacred.

That is a tough thing to go through. First, you will not be excommunicated. There are many members that have gone through what you are going through. That might not make it any easier, but hopefully it gives you some hope. My first word of advice is to never go out with this young man again. It will only lead to sorrow for you. His problems are his problems, not yours and you being around him is only going to be worse for the both of you. He will need to take care of his issues on his own. Jesus was all about forgiveness. He paid the price for our sins. We still need repentance and change. As for your parents... They will be sad, but they are still going to love you. love you without hesitation. If you turn to them for support, they will help you. It can be terrifying to go to parents because you don't want to let them down. I have 4 kids and all of them have made dumb choices in their lives. I have made my own share of dumb decisions. We as parents are there to help our kids get back to where they need to be. But it is hard to do if we don't know there is an injury. I wish you the best. Be not afraid. Let our Savior help mend you.

Did you treat those around you too poorly or not well enough. Christ did not really focus on what we shouldn't do, but more on what we should do. My big take away from Doctrine and Covenants 58 is that we need to be actively seeking to do the good things in life. I am a firm believer in that if we are always actively seeking to do good, you really don't have to worry about breaking the commandments because you just won't. It is when we aren't seeking the good that we fail. Do you dwell on not failing or do you dwell on succeeding? I think the real difficulty in modern day is that in many respects we really have it easy and as such it lets us lower our guard. Let's us be lazy. We coast along thinking all is fine and we don't press forward like we should.

Let your business be business centered and let you be people centered.

There are a couple of people in my ward who are divorced. I've never heard anyone say anything to them directly or to anyone behind their back anything negative about the divorce. Some members may be curious as to what happened. If they ask, I would tell them straight out that it isn't any of their business and it will go away quickly. Anyway, one lady I am somewhat friends with went 10 years until she found a great husband. One gentleman had a very hard divorce and has never married again... Honestly, I think he would be hard to be married to, but love is weird. I think you will find far more support in your ward than anyone negative. And I highly doubt you will find any negative people.

I had a fairly traumatic time about a year ago. I ended up going on a low carb diet and dropping a lot of weight. But I get where you are coming from. I could down a quart of ice cream with out batting an eye to sooth the sadness away. The low carb diet really helped cure the munchies.

The sign wasn't what I was referring to. It was the old man trying to cause an accident.

I have a hard time feeling bad for the old man. I am very much anti abortion, but I am also very much pro civility and the old man was certainly not being civil and essentially tried to cause an accident. Of course I don't stand behind the moron that was kicking the old man either. The old and the young acting like children...

If you were to move to the SLC area, where would you buy a house? Criteria and Budget. 1) $400k max 2) Attached garage 3) 4 bedroom 2 bath. 2500+ sqft. 4) kids all grown so I don't care about school district 5) Safe 6) work would probably be around 2100 s and I215. I want a less than 30 min commute. Wife would probably work at the airport and she would want the same. 7) newer than 1990. And no, I don't have a job offer right now. Just exploring an opportunity.

Maybe I am just a cold hearted person, but I think there are some real mommas boys out in the field that could use some toughening up. I've seen a number of the younger crop of missionaries come home because they weren't ready to be out in the field. I suppose that being able to call home might help some of these lads in the short term, but in the long term at some point they need to be men. Real men love their moms, but they don't need to be coddled by them. There is some real growing that takes place when all you have is letter writing. I don't have any resentment that I was not able to call home more than just a few times.

The few GA that I know are not rich. They were upper middle class when they retired and probably a net worth of a bit over a million. And for a retired person, I would not claim that as rich. I suspect most GA from the US are in the same boat... a net worth between 1-5 million. Which I would not call rich. That is just what the upper middle class has when they retire, if they did their finances well.

Ahh to be young and have young love again. If you really think she could be the one, then keep writing and find things to enjoy life. That said, I don't believe there is only one person out there for us. Could you spend the next 16 months writing letters to a young woman who ends up not marrying you and you end up a year and a half older with no GF? a certain possibility. I don't think God is going to force her to marry you either. It is going to be her decision. So is she worth it? We certainly can't decide for you. Good luck. 16 months may seem like an eternity now, but it will be over quickly.

There is a lot of what you want. But what about her wants? there are probably a lot of things that she wanted that you didn't deliver on. It sounds to me that you have both been very selfish in your behavior. You pray to the Lord for help, but I think the help that you want, the Lord can give you. The Lord can help you, but it has to be his way. And his way is allowing your wife to have her agency. He isn't going to force her to do something. So you have to accept that she is gone and is not part of your life. Yes, it sucks beyond compare. But you aren't the first that has gone through this. Not in the least. You will get over this. You got to let go of those things you can't have and can't control.

Somehow I got called to be one of those guys that get to lead the Elder's Quorum discussion. I have been doing this for 8+ months. And it never seems to get easier. I pray for inspiration, I listen to the talk. I read the talk and repeat. I formulate questions and what not, but I tend to come up with only about 10 minutes worth of material for about a 40 minute discussion. So far I get up in front of everybody and present what I have prepared and people chime in and fill up the time. But what happens when they don't? That is like my biggest fear is not having enough material and ending like 20 minutes early. The brothers come up and thank me for a spiritual lesson, but sometimes I wonder if that is more of a nice way of saying "you're trying" or do they really enjoy the discussion? Are they really getting something spiritual out of it? I tend to think they get something spiritual out of it in spite of me. And I guess that is fine. Teaching was a lot easier with the old lesson manuals and teachings of the presidents of the church. Now that it is General Conference talks, it has definitely become more challenging and discussion is much more important. So I guess, what are your strategies for leading the discussion? What seems to work for you? I typically read or listen to it a bunch and write down questions and personal experiences and scriptures that come to mind. And then I pray that everyone is inspired to open their mouths so I don't have to. And how do you get more participation from the younger guys and not have it dominated by the old high priest group?

I read all of this and all I can see is "Spoiled Brat." I want this. I deserve that. My GF annoys me... I want to spend time with my mom.... There is definitely no humility here. It is all about you. I can imagine the Bishop is frustrated as can be. I mean it seems like you want to help to some extent, but only if it is your way. The way that suits you best.

I scored an 18, but mostly due to authority stuff. I am not one that really wants to lead, although I can, but I am not one that likes to follow either. Kind of rather be left alone... But that wasn't an option on those type of questions.

I haven't had a chance to watch this, but I think it seems to be the in thing to do... label someone as a narcissist. I think it is useful to be able to spot a possible narcissist, sociopath, etc. But often I think people are prone to give someone a bad label for their own inadequacies. If you have a bad relationship with your spouse.... they must be a narcissist. And of course some of the time they are. But I think we really need to be very careful about these things and look at ourselves very closely before making such accusations.

For two reasons. 1. It was just boring. Nice to van noy do well. But that didn't make it really interesting. 2. The annoying discussion of social justice. Leave politics out of the game.

There is a myth out there that if you do something 21 days in a row that you form a habit. I personally think that is a bunch of rubbish. I exercised for 2 months in a row and it is definitely not a habit. I have to push myself to do it every time. Honestly, I think the only habits we have are those that bring us some kind of pleasure. Am I wrong here? I would love to find a way to make exercise a habit, but I have failed. Any thoughts on that? How about scripture study? That is not a habit for me either. I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me to do it. If I didn't, I'd probably just do whatever I wanted until bed time. I do enjoy studying to gospel, but I don't always enjoy it. Some times I feel the spirit strongly and sometimes it is more of a chore. How do you keep moving forward in a positive direction and not get complacent or lazy?

Dude, you have to let go. You want something that you don't have control over. Be kind to her but accept what is. One of the things that helped me the most was accepting that I can't control what the other person does. I can only control me. If she didn't care for me after my changing, it wouldn't stop me from becoming a better person. My formula for fixing a relationship is no guarantee. If the hurt runs really deep, there won't be any getting back together. My guess is that she hid her pain well, but was very hurt by things you did. Hurt to the point that the love isn't there. And if the love isn't there, there is no point in trying to be romantic in any way shape or form. Just be kind to her. Give her her space. Don't try to push the relationship. If you do, you will only push it away. Can it be fixed? Probably not. Life goes on. And how life goes on is up to you. The purpose of this life is for you to find Joy. Beating yourself up over your actions is not going to get you far. You can't fix it. You can only change what is going to happen. So work on that. When the divorce comes you are going to have to figure out how to live happy. Your first inclination is going to be to let her have everything. You are probably thinking this because it was you who screwed up. Well it wasn't only you, it was her, too. Don't walk away from the divorce with nothing. Also, you should set yourself up to be happy. Yes, it hurts. It sucks. Your life is without meaning. But you have to come to your senses at some point and realize that life does have meaning without her. Put yourself in a position where you can succeed. Giving her everything is not going to make you feel better. So make sure you have a good lawyer. He will be able to think when you can't.

About a year ago I had contemplated a divorce. I had had many fights with my wife. But basically the love left our marriage and we stopped fighting. we stopped loving. We lived together but that was about it for about 10 years. Then some worse things happened. I almost lost my wife. If you want her back, you need to do some serious changing. It can happen. I did some serious changing. I am still changing, but I made some serious changes last year. 1) You have to love her. It is going to be hard because she is sick and tired of your selfish actions. So it is going to take patience. You have to respect her desire to be away from you. 2) You can't fight any more. Shoot, you really can't hardly argue any more. When you speak with her, you are going to have to shut your dumb pie hole and listen. Really listen. You no longer have the right to fight back. Really you never had the right in the first place. Happy couples don't fight. They discuss. They discuss in a loving manner with respect. You have to make a promise to yourself and the Lord that you will never fight with her again. That you will treat her as the Goddess you say she is. 3) You have to understand that she does not make you mad. You let yourself become mad because you don't have a grip on your feelings. 4) You have to give up hope. Turn yourself over to the Lord. Only through his help do you stand a chance to getting her back. You have to accept that you might not get her back. 5) After you have accepted that you might not get her back you have to truly devote yourself to improving you. 6) If she agrees to try again, put what you learned in the 5 love languages to work. Give up all of your selfishness. No more video games, no more porn, no more wasting time. Put yourself to work, cleaning house, making meals, spending time with her, fixing things around the house. Buy her flowers, etc. 7) if she does let you back. you have to understand that it will take a lot of time for her to forgive you. You have to keep doing good, showing love to her regardless of whether she shows any in return. this could take 6 months or even a year or more of doing this before she melts. 😎 If you really love her, then love her with all you got always. Don't be complacent in your love. Don't think it is good enough. It is never good enough. Think of ways to show her love every day. Right now she is pretty upset with you so, trying to do big things right now is not going to win her back. It is the small things that show her that you have changed. The everyday things. 9) keep praying and repenting. She has her agency. Heavenly Father is not going to force her to come back to you. You don't deserve her right now. You need to become the person that does deserve her. There are lots of people out there that want someone to love them just the way they are. That is some super selfish thinking right there. How about instead being someone that you would really want to be with. I wish you the best. Work on yourself. She might not take you back, but if you fix yourself, and learn from your mistakes. so next time there will be much better love. If you want a good serious cry, watch the movie Fireproof. Some of the things mentioned in the movie can help. He did a 40 day challenge. Chances are, you are going to need a lot more time than that. Be committed. I am a very different person than I was a year ago. I live with purpose. I choose to love my wife every day. Before I was an idiot and basically tried to just let love happen. It doesn't. You have to choose to make it happen.