Lost Boy

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Everything posted by Lost Boy

  1. Lost Boy

    How to regrow my dead faith

    I read this and was reminded of this video. It sounds like you have a nail in your life that you don't want to pull out.
  2. Lost Boy

    Coffee as a Prescriptoin

    The word of wisdom was given as a guide to taking care of our bodies and thus taking care of our mind and soul as well. Coffee is in there as it isn't good for most people. It isn't something that should be consumed by the regular Joe. But guess what. Your meds aren't good for the regular Joe as well. The word of wisdom does not spell out every bad substance that we shouldn't take. However, sometimes bad substances are what we need to heel. I am not saying to start drinking coffee, but talk it over with your doctor and see if there are other alternatives. Obtain inspiration from on high and follow it.
  3. Let's see. A mom that doesn't hear from her son for a year and doesn't cry bloody murder to his mission president? Or a son that doesn't write said mom? Spidey sense is going off here. Me smells something foul.
  4. Lost Boy

    Family and the new firearm prohibition

    You may have control of your car, but you don't have control of other people's cars. I got T-boned by a kid playing on his cell phone that blew a light that had been red for more than 5 seconds. Drunk drivers will cross medians and take out people head on. Tires can pop and cause cars to go off the road. Just because you are in control doesn't mean others aren't a huge danger to you. And for safe living I feel far safer walking around Japan than I do the US. And no I don't feel safe anywhere in the US. There are certain parts of Detroit/Chicago that I don't care to go to. I feel safe around my city, but there are certain places in the US that are not safe. Someone having a gun a church does not make me feel safer. So if some people feel less safe at church if someone has a gun and some feel safer? How do you resolve this?
  5. Strange, I don't know that potato chips are bad for my health. perhaps too many of them are. That last bit surely sounds like you are judging me and telling me not to judge others. Yes, judging others is not good to do, but I still do it and as far as I can tell most everyone does as well. As for me not believing people when they say they know the church is true, whether they in fact do know it or not has very little meaning to me when I hear it. It has been watered down to the point that I am not interested in hearing it. Like I said, I much rather hear why one believes and not that they believe.
  6. Lost Boy

    Family and the new firearm prohibition

    Here is what is messed up. I had never in my near 50 years of existence even considered taking a gun to church until all of this came out. I have never once felt that I was in danger at church. Not even in the slightest. I still don't have any fear even in the slightest going to church without a gun. It is a messed up world where people can't feel safe at church without a gun. It seems like it nearly borders on a mental disorder. Tens of thousands of people die in automobile crashes each year, yet we still drive most every day. Why? It is far more dangerous than going to church without a gun. Yet we still do it. We do it because we rationalize that fear away. You kind of have to do the same with guns and church.
  7. If she is not directly teaching against the church then I see no problem at all with helping a daughter. Jesus dined with the publicans. Show her you love her and support her. Don't try to punish her because she currently is in a different faith. That is not going benefit her, nor you. Find common ground with her and love her.
  8. I do not have any fondness when someone proclaims that they know the church is true. To me it is just virtue signalling.. "Hey, look at me.. I am good." I have know quite a few members that have proclaimed that and then later stop coming to church. Well if you knew it, why did you leave? Furthermore, I think if you really "knew it", then you would never commit sin any more. Just like I know sticking my hand in the fire is going to burn me so I don't do it. But those who proclaim they know the church is true pretty much all behave badly from time to time and often don't think anything of it. I teach elder quorum and I find lessons go so much better when I can get people to testify. Not proclaim that the know the church is true. I am not interested in that. I am interested in their experiences that led them to their belief in Christ. I can't say that I have never said "I know the church is true" But I can say it has been a long time. I much rather share the the feelings that I feel when reading scriptures, helping each other, following Christ's teachings and testify how my life has changed for the better. Let people know you are perfect, but you are improving.. that they have the same power to improve. Do I know the church is true? Well let me tell you a story.. And then you can decide for yourself if I know it is true..
  9. Do you have one or more members that are not afraid to ask the hard questions in Sunday School, priesthood, RS meetings? How did Noah get all the animals on the ark? How about dinosaurs? Why is the sacrament passed to the Bishop first? Did Jonah really get swallowed by a fish? OK, maybe these aren't really hard questions, but they are questions that go against the establishment. How do you handle these questions as an instructor? Are you the type that might ask a similar type question? If something about the gospel doesn't quite make sense, are you the type that would ask the question in Sunday School, if lesson was on that particular topic, or would you wait to ask a bishop? Or would you just not ask the question and let it go? For me, it would depend on the question. Is it really pertinent? If you are discussing that God is no respecter of persons, I might ask the question about passing the sacrament to the bishop first.
  10. Lost Boy

    Emotional affair and children

    Hi, I can't speak for your husband. I can only tell you of what I went through. My wife and I didn't have the best of marriages for a long time. She ended up have a year and a half long emotional affair with a colleague. I didn't find out until later. I was emotionally devastated by this. I could barely function for 4 months. I very much contemplated divorce. But our Heavenly Father asked me to take a different path. It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever experienced. I didn't stay married for the kids. I stayed married to love my wife. To me staying married for the kids is just lying to the world. It is just compounding the sin. It took me the better part of a year to learn to love her again. I certainly can't tell you how he will react. There is a chance that he will want a divorce. But to set things right, you have to set things right with the person her on Earth you should love the most and that is your spouse. As much as it hurt, I am grateful that she was honest with me. Our marriage would probably continue to suck had I not found out. Is our marriage great now? No, but it is better today than it has been in a long time and getting better every day. One thing she did for me that helped me get over it was that she let me read the whole thing. She answered all of my questions. If you want this to work for you, I suggest that you in no way shape or form put any blame on him directly or indirectly on him. It has almost been two years. It sucked, but I feel healed and I love her.
  11. My oldest daughter got her mission call. It was a long time coming. She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating. Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit. The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control. Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help. She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm. This went on for several years and it was brutal. I had no idea of what to do. She eventually found a job teaching Karate. This was a true answer to prayers. Slowly she got out of the funk she was in. Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person. On her own started really studying to gospel. She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church. And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself. So she finally got her call. And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go. I am so happy for her. After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.
  12. Lost Boy

    Daughter got her mission call

    The 50th state. A wee bit of paradise.
  13. She is not breaking a commandment by going to the singles ward and participating there. If one of the leaders decides that is not where she should be, then that is up to them, not you. Be a friend and give her the ride.
  14. By that logic, shouldn't you carry a fire extinguisher as well to sacrament meeting?
  15. It makes me sad that there are so many members that think they need to have a gun to feel safe. I have never ever carried, nor have I ever had the desire to carry. How many mass shootings have there been? How many have been stopped by people with a concealed weapon? Next to zero. If someone open fires in sacrament meeting, the chance of you hitting an innocent person when trying to shoot the gunman are tremendously high. Then the next thing that happens is that people won't know if you are part of the mass shooting either. The best option is to rush the person and tackle the person. I am not anti-gun. I don't care if they are in the church or not. But I feel sad for those who think they need to carry. It is not a lens through which I would want to view life. God knows what is going to happen. If God wants that gunman stopped, that gunman is going to be stopped.
  16. Lost Boy

    Local policy

    I am guessing not all in the deaf branch are deaf. My daughter requires hearing aids. She has significant hearing loss. You would think she wouldn't mind a lot of commotion. She does not like a lot of noise. She is used to the quiet and when it is not, it gets under her skin a bit.
  17. Lost Boy

    Family and the new firearm prohibition

    Both you and your husband are having emotional responses and not rational responses. I am a husband and from years and years of trying to fight emotional responses from a wife, I can testify that you do not have a chance of fighting the emotion with logic. I can give you plenty of logical reasons for still attending church. They won't work on him. Emotion can be dealt with, but there is much more of a challenge. My suggestion is that you love your husband. Don't try and reason with him. Just let him know that you need to attend church and that your kids need to be there. Let him know that Heavenly Father wants you and the kids at church and that you truly feel that is the right thing to do. You can even appeal that you would feel even safer if he were there, but you are going regardless.
  18. Lost Boy

    I am not sure what to do

    I feel like I could be your husband. I try to do those things that I should do. But I don't know how to surprise my wife. Zero clue. I could ask her, but then it wouldn't be a surprise. You have no idea how much I would love to do something for her that would shock and awe her. I have nothing. It sounds to me like her really loves you, but you don't love him back. What do you do to help him feel loved? Is it enough for him? Consider the husband that spends all day preparing a special steak dinner for his wife. Meal time comes and she a bit late for dinner. She eats said dinner and says thanks, it was good. And that was that. From the guys perspective, he put in a lot of effort and got very little out. From the wife's perspective, she really didn't see the effort that went into the meal, she really isn't into steak and she thought she reacted appropriately for the occasion. Who was in the wrong here? No one really, but neither is meeting the other's wants and needs. How do you bridge that gap. The husband in my story would have loved to have made his wife surprised and happy with the meal. His efforts fell flat.. And now his motivation for surprising in the future has been muted. He can't read his wife's mind and he is an idiot when it comes to knowing what you want. And I bet he is afraid to even try. If you want things different, you are going to need to do some serious hand holding and teaching. Make a huge list of romantic things you like and help him get started on it. Yeah, not very romantic. But he is going to need some serious help to get him to the point where he can be that guy you want. And I would suggest trying to surprise him as well. Maybe you have and it fell flat... Maybe you both really need to discuss your dreams together.
  19. Lost Boy

    No more love

    I read through the comments. I went through something similar. I probably could have been your husband. Now I am not saying you are like this, but I will tell you my experience with my wife. I loved my wife, but I do have my lazy habits. And those frustrated her to no end. And her approach with me was to nag me. "why don't you do this?" "Why don't you do that?" I felt rather worthless around her. Yeah, she would be intimate with me but I eventually shut down. I didn't feel like I was loved and I gave up trying. Some guys react very poorly to nagging. I react far better and work way harder with positive reinforcement, knowing my wife is my cheerleader. Our marriage was dry for a good. 10 years and it lead to other issues as well. I wanted her to change in the worst way. I don't know how many countless times I prayed for her to love me. Things didn't get better. I have a high IQ, but when it comes to relationships, I can be a total moron. Our marriage was about over. But I ended up giving it once last chance. I decided that for the next year, I would treat her with kindness everyday regardless of how she treated me. I committed to do 30 minutes of house work everyday. I tried to do this when she was not home as I didn't want to hear comments from her. I did this every day for a good four months before things started to change at all. It has been a year and a half and things are much better now... Certainly not perfect. We have a long way to go. But I am a different person. And she is becoming a different person. She hasn't nagged me for a long time even though I still give her reason to on occasion. What could I have done differently 10-15 years ago that would have made things better? The easy answer is that I could have not been lazy. But I think I was also quite depressed at the time. Instead of nagging, I could have really used some understanding and a hand to help me out. I don't blame her for how she treated me. I probably would have done the same in her situation. It was not her fault. At the same time though a different approach on her part would have made a tremendous difference at the time. As would have a different approach on my part. Neither happened. We were both relationship morons. I know you would like your husband to be a different person. You can't change him. You can only change you. As you have stated, you have depression and that is difficult to deal with. When I started my quest to be a better me. I did not love my wife. And I am sure she didn't love me. Doing these things were difficult. I got no reciprocation. But in doing them, I started loving her again. I don't know if there is any magic pill for you and your husband. I do know when when my wife didn't think of me as her King, I didn't think much of myself. And had no motivation to make a change. My wife became my queen again because I made her to the best of my ability feel like a queen. Neither of us had done that for each other in a very long time. And it is a very hard thing to do when your aren't feeling it.
  20. Lost Boy

    Local policy

    I don't get all emotional about the ward I attend. I have been a member of at least a dozen different wards and I have enjoyed them all. Perhaps I am a glass is pretty full type of guy when it is probably mostly empty, but you when you look for the good, you'll find it. What would I have done in the situation? Nothing. Why? because I don't care about stuff like that. One ward isn't any truer than the other. The other thing that I hear members squabble over is what night is the ward's assigned mutual night.
  21. Think about this for a second for that is all it should take. Would a loving God condemn you to an eternity of unhappiness if you died unhappy? If that is what we are believe in this church, I surely want no part of it. Everything that I have ever read indicates that Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy. Causing us an eternity of unhappiness does not fit this narrative in the slightest. Now without being in the meeting, I don't know what your best approach is, but you could pull him aside on day and ask him for clarification. But I would not out right tell him that he is wrong. You could tell him what you have always believed and thank him for his clarification. And if he still seems wrong, then take it up with the stake president and ask him.
  22. Lost Boy

    Is there any hope for us?

    You want to get back together with a girl you ghosted 5 years ago. You guys were never married, but keep this in mind. couples that divorce and then later marry each other again have a very high divorce rate. The odds are not in your favor. You remember the good and forget the bad. You will justify things by convincing yourself that you are different and she is different. Can it work? Sure. The romantics out there will try and convince you to go for it. I have my doubts.
  23. I called it last year that church was going to change the policy on Temple marriage. https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900069248/church-marriage-temple-sealing-policy-mormon-lds.html?fbclid=IwAR2sZrIlNUt0XekdNoNL4Tje3fFGMGLoL3MOtp7frwE0er03aPEhh9VrSMQ This is a good change. Let everyone celebrate the marriage. Let the sealing be sacred.
  24. Lost Boy

    Missions and cell phones

    What is the current policy on missionaries having a cell phone? I ask because my daughter is putting her papers in and we think she is finally mature enough to get a cell phone.... No, I ask because I am thinking of what to get her for her birthday and if missionaries are allowed cell phones, then maybe a camera wouldn't be the best present. And just to be clear, she has had a cell phone for many years. For any of you ladies that served missions is there anything that you would have really liked to receive before going on a mission?
  25. Lost Boy

    Missions and cell phones

    I guess then instead of the camera, she may be getting a new phone.