Lost Boy

I absolutely believe this is true, but I would never ever ask for the hard times. It truly sucks. That said I learned more about God's love last year than probably any year prior. I have a far better understanding of what people go through during heartbreak. It is absolutely disorienting. You really don't know what to do. For me it was as if I was taken by the hand and shown what to do for my relationship. It certainly was not my doing.

It was about a year ago that I found out that my wife had had an emotional affair. The affair was with a coworker that lasted about a year and a half and comprised about 15k messages between them, many lunch and dinner dates, gifts, etc. It was never physical beyond a hug every now and then, but towards the end of their relationship she decided that he is her Twin Flame. It took several weeks for her to tell me the extent of what happened and also me reading all of the messages. That was the lowest point in my life. The hurt lasted for months. I had seriously contemplated divorce. But after a lot of prayer and soul searching, I was told to love her and forgive her. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted the pain to go away. I was near non-functioning. I was seriously confused and lost. Looking back I can clearly see how the spirit guided me in what to do. I consider it a miracle in my life. The hurt is all gone. The love is back. I hear a lot of people say that you can never trust again. I don't think that is the case. I think through forgiveness you can. Our relationship is certainly not the same as it was. I think in a lot of ways it is better. Better communication, better caring for each other, I think better love. I think the man upstairs has some mysterious/miraculous ways. The crazy part is I am sure that had I gotten divorced, I would be a much much much unhappier person today.

Yeah, I never told my daughter it was all in her head either basically because I really don't know what is causing it. But she doesn't believe now that they are spirits.

"No one believes her, not ever her own dad." I am not an English scholar, but I am pretty sure that is what you said... that I don't believe my daughter. I never doubted that she was seeing anything. The question is what is she seeing. Did the thought occur that it could be spirits? Yes, it did. But the more I questioned her the more it didn't sound like spirits. "I can't imagine anything harder for a child to deal with than to have actually be seeing evil spirits" That seems like you are assuming that if she is seeing spirits that they are automatically evil spirits. Anyway, it is a sucky and scary thing for a young lady to have to go through. Pretty sucky for the parents as well.

Wow, making me a bad guy here. Where did I say I don't believe she sees these things? Nowhere. I believe she is seeing something in her mind. She doesn't believe she is seeing evil things. At first she did because it was scary. Scary to see something that isn't there. But she ignores this now. And why do you assume they are evil spirits that she is seeing?

No, I haven't met him, nor do I believe he lifted a rosary from someones neck and hung it on a peg. Did you see this happen? Or did you hear it from a relative or someone? There are substantial prize money out there for those who show proof of the supernatural. No one has ever claimed the prize money.

So you get to fight the bad guy with a gun and you only give him an ax? seams rather unfair doesn't it? Shouldn't he have a bit more fire power?

Do I believe in evil spirits? Yes. Do I believe they can turn on your faucets? No. With all the ghost hunters out there, they have never once caught anything supernatural happening. No books floating through the air, no doors shutting, no faucets turning on. Speaking of faucets turning on. I did have a delta faucet on my sink in my old house that if you didn't have it fully turned all the way, the water pressure would turn it on. The water pressure varies throughout the day depending on how many people are using water. You could shut it off in the morning when everyone is showering and in the mid morning when the water pressure increased, it was enough to turn the water on. So yes, I am a huge skeptic when it comes to the supernatural. With the billions and billions of cameras out there, I would think that if the supernatural were out there, we would have it on video.

There is a lot about how the brain operates that we don't understand. My daughter sees what I think you could call shadow people. Sees them all the time. I am pretty sure they are not spirits that she is seeing, but something that her mind is making up. It freaked her out for a very long time. Now she doesn't pay any attention to it. The doctors couldn't figure it out. And they said it wasn't a personality disorder. One specialist thought that it might be do to a gymnastics injury that had caused some stress to the vertebrae below her skull. He said that can induce some hallucinations. But he didn't have a solution other than to let it heal on its own.

I side more on the mental state issue. When your mind is half asleep, it can come up with some seriously crazy stuff. The brain doesn't just think of one thing at a time. There are the analytical parts of your brain that are thinking the logical, but then there are emotional parts and parts that have imagination and memories and what not. There is a lot going on up there. The thing is that during the waking hours our cognitive part is active and tends to drown out the other parts. When we are asleep that area tends to be quiet and the other parts are easier to be heard. And you imaginations can get pretty crazy and seem real. And you emotions can certainly respond to that. Had you really been fully awake, you would have been completely fine, but at that time of the morning, you may have been awake, but just barely. The flip side of this is... Why would satan want to attack you? I would think that instead of attacking you, he'd rather get you friendly with him. If he attacks you, you are more likely to turn to God and rethink life choices... just the opposite of what he wants. The above is just my opinion. I am not a doctor and certainly not paid like one.

If you have been his friend for a long time, you can certainly sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Express that you are only going to stick your nose in once. Let him know that you are concerned with where his relationship is going. And let him know that if he ever wants to talk about it that you are there for him, but that you will stay out of it, unless he comes to you to talk or for advice. And that is about all you can do. And of course pray for him.

I didn't have any resolutions at the beginning of the year, but I did make some goals shortly after when I found out my wife had had an emotional affair. I set out to get my relationship with her fixed by doing the following. 1) get fit - result dropped 100lbs 2) walk the dog every day - was good for about 6 months.. 3) be conscientiously kind to her everyday. I believe we only had 2 minor fights last year. 95% accomplished 4) Do 30 additional minutes of house work everyday. did really well on this. 5) Daily prayer and scripture study. 50%. 6) Spend quality time with her every day - 95% accomplished. I tracked this on a secret excel file. And that really helped me keep focused. Things really improved between her and me. We got further to go. She still believes in the twin flame stuff and is not coming to church. I had a strong feeling that is going to take 5 or more years and to be patient and be committed. This year, I plan on doing essentially the same, but I am going to focus more on the spiritual.

I thought you had already reached the pinnacle and now you think you can go further? My hats off to you for the lofty goal.

We dodged a bullet by stepping in front of a freight train. Way to go us....

This was a bit unexpected. My youngest is 17 so it doesn't affect me at all. I don't see any real concern. And considering it is of divine origin it should be an improvement.

Exactly. You recognize that some moron wanted to get a reaction from creating an offensive piece. You get to choose how to react. I am with you, this guy at the most gets a "whatever dude" Life is too short to let other morons control your actions.

Yes, it is offensive. Doesn't mean you have to be offended by it. And still why worry about it? You can't do anything about it. Protesting it would only make it grow worse. So still pointless to get offended by it even if it is offensive.

Why do people choose to be offended by stuff like this? Seriously... it does no one any benefit to be offended by it. I mean it benefits the one who created it because that person gets to stroke their ego because they achieved what they set out to do. We are commanded not to be blasphemous. But that is not us being blasphemous. That is someone not of our religion doing something. So why worry about it. That person is free to do so. Would you want him to prohibit us from making our own art? Nope. The logical thing to do is to let it go.

I am talking about laws and regulations... man made road blocks should not exist. If it is a natural road block such as a physical limitation then I am not really for lowering the bar for gender or race.

That is just as wrong as affirmative action. Affirmative action as you would probably agree is a horrendous failure. People should succeed on their own merit. That said, there should be no road blocks that put people on unequal ground based on race and gender.

I don't really see #1 and #2 in conflict. Most of the dreamers only know the U.S.. They would be in dire straights if deported. So if you are going to allow them to stay, they should be given a path to citizenship. But there should also be a cut off that Anyone entering in after a certain date does not have the option. As for #3, the true capitalist would welcome the cheaper labor. True capitalist would oppose any type of minimum wage and let the market decide what the wage should be. Not allowing them to come in would as you say increase the price of produce. But it would also drive production outside of the U.S.. So instead of the jobs being here, they are off shored. And your farmers go out of work. And as far as I know slaves didn't get wages. Those that work the fields do so by choice and are happy with the pay. #4 Not exploitation. Exploitation is them coming here and costing our system $113 billion/year based on the number you provided. Having a special tax on certain visa holders fixes that issue. I am not asking for anything more... Actually, I would want one more thing. They be required to carry health insurance.

I personally don't see a push to make women equal providers. I suppose some out there want this. To me the push should be for equal opportunity. But honestly, I think we basically have that already. There is nothing stopping women from being engineers, doctors, etc. And many become such. I work with quite a few female engineers. They are no less competent than their male counter parts. Men and women in general have different skill/ability set. One will often be more suited to a particular job than another, but both should have equal opportunity getting the job based on ability and skill. I would never pigeon hole my daughters into any particular field or try and make them work for that matter. That said, I think they should know how to work and be capable of supporting themselves. And until marriage, they should be self sufficient. Prior to marriage they need to discuss with their future spouse about careers and who is going to do what. For my wife and I we agreed that she would stay home while the kids were young. As they got older and didn't need her as much, she got a job outside the home that she enjoys.

To me building a wall is a complete waste of money. You are far better off with policies changes and changes to laws to fix the issue. Immigration reform is needed. The current system essentially encourages illegal immigration. 1) dump the being born here makes you a citizen law. That is just dumb. If you don't have an American parent, then no automatic citizenship. 2) Give the dreamers a path to citizenship 3) Make it easier to get work visas 4) Have an income tax specifically for certain visa holders. So no free government handouts. Pay their fair share. 5) Provide a path for illegals currently here to get a visa. Say a $5000 and proof that they are not a burden on society... holding a good job, can pay taxes, etc.

Forget about why we are here. What is for dinner?

"If ye love me, keep my commandments" Wouldn't that also be a true litmus test of being a true Christian? How many of us keep all of God's commandments? I know I am not there yet. Will is a future tense. If you are a true Christian, you will believe it. But you don't have to believe it at this point in time.