RachelleDrew

^No, in fact i'm NOT looking for music that is LDS. I guess I didn't make that clear enough in my OP, sorry! I am looking for secular music and movies...not LDS or even trinitarian Christian. I already know those are clean, and it's not what i'm looking for anyway. But thanks for the idea about Clean Flix! I didn't know such a thing existed!

^Ah yes! I totally forgot about DOVE. Also, Black I have several of the artists on your list. So I intend to check out the ones you have that I don't.

^I know what you mean about that statement. But it's absolutely an incorrect statement. When i first heard the counsel for clean media choices as a convert, I was completely at a loss. As somebody who didn't grow up LDS I had a hard time adjusting my choices. Just telling someone what they SHOULDN'T do isn't nearly as effective as telling them what they SHOULD do. Especially teenagers who are going to argue certain church policies to death. : D When I was a teenager, if someone had told me "you shouldn't listen to naughty music because the prophet says so" I would have been like "whatever". But if someone had said "there are music choices that are cool AND uplifting, and here's some of them.." I would have been more apt to listen.

So my new calling is going REALLY WELL. With the help of my YW president and the guidance of heavenly father we have been able to re-activate about six teenagers. They have become real gems in our YW/YM groups and are really excited about becoming temple worthy for the baptism trip this summer. Here's the problem; most of these kids are being raised in a very secular environment. They were all baptized around the ages 8-10 and then became inactive almost immediately for whatever reason. Maybe I should re-phrase that. It's not a PROBLEM per se (i'm not bashing their parents, they have great moms and dads), but it means that they just have different standards regarding music and movies. They all have "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlets and understand that they shouldn't entertain themselves with media that contains a lot of violence, sex or foul language. The issue is they don't know what to replace those things with. We tried some of the church-approved movies and music.....they just don't get it. I totally relate, I don't find stuff like "The Singles Ward" or whatever to be entertaining or funny. Trust me, i've bought almost every movie I could find at Deseret books.....those things are just terrible. The music is even worse. It's one of those things that if you didn't grow up Mormon, you just may not "get it". My YW president and I were talking, and we both know of a LOT of secular musicians and movies that maybe aren't LDS....but they are still clean and follow the standards of our church. We are going to have a media standards night next month. We'll watch a couple of movies, and talk about how they DO have choices in what they listen to....they don't have to resort to lame music and movies just because they are trying to live righteously. We want to make them a list of singers/bands that don't have references to sex or severe violence. No foul language is preferred, but considering what these kids are listening to now a couple of mild words are better than nothing. This way they have something to start with so they can research on their own and maybe find some good substitutions for the music they already listen to. We want to do the same thing with movies too. We have a pretty decent list, but can always use suggestions. Especially about country and rap music. Rap is just hard to find clean stuff anyway, and country music is hard for us to compile because neither of us listen to it so we have a hard time finding stuff. We both know that Taylor Swift is a decent choice, and the girls LOVE HER. The movies are hard, because so often they have a rating of PG-13 and it's still pretty racy. You almost can't count on the warnings on the movie. So any thoughts on some secular (and MODERN) choices that you think aught to be added? We've already introduced the girls to bands like Flyleaf (which they really like) and Paramore (which they also like) But not all of them like rock so we need some other choices. Also, any websites that you guys use to help pick your music would be helpful too. We want to give these teens as many resources as we can.

It can go either way. There are a lot of women who will only date RM's, but there are just as many women who don't care. I personally don't care if someone served or not, it's not the meter I use to determine someone's righteousness. In the end it's not really relevant, your future eternal companion will love you no matter what. Find that girl. She will accept you regardless of your lack of missionary work. On another note, you aren't too old for a mission. You aught to consider it, it would be a great way to grow in your faith as a recent convert. I wish I could go on a mission, but I was already a mother when I converted so I missed out.

These were all really good suggestions. Thank you all for sharing them! My brain wasn't working properly last night, so I was having a hard time finding things that would fit. Bytor I LOVE that talk too.

Lazurus! Awesome suggestion! This is why I love this site..

I used the instances about healing. Specifically I mentioned him healing the leper, which I thought was a really compelling story.

I've been working on a talk, the subject being "The love of Christ". Which is truly an easy subject matter to be given because his love for us is so obvious. I was done with it, but then went back to make some revisions because I wasn't satisfied. I came to the conclusion that while his death on the cross in order to save mankind from their sins was a very obvious display of his love for us and for our father in heaven, it wasn't the only way that he expressed his devotion to man. The life that Christ led and his actions and choices were a constant reassurance that he cares deeply for the people who live on this earth. I started inserting some bits about his life before the death and resurrection. I really need to wrap up this talk tonight, but i'm a little stumped on finding more examples of how the life he led before his death was an example of his love for humanity too. I've been digging through my scriptures, but my brain is overloaded right now. Can anyone think of any parables or scriptures that might be of help? I'm still planning on discussing how he sacrificed his life for us through his death, but i've just got this nagging feeling that it's important to discuss the love he expressed for us throughout his life too. Any help would be appreciated.

So the Elders spoke with their mission president about it, and it was cleared up. Apparently, that was the rule in the neighboring stake in which this woman used to be a member of, but it is not in ours. Our mission president has no qualms with me taking the missionaries out to eat, so long as it's done in a public setting. He also wants the dinners that are used as missionary tools (i.e. me bringing nonmember friends) to be the norm. In other words, he doesn't want me to be taking the missionaries out to eat all the time "just because". He said that's fine on the occasion, but typically he would want me to have a job for them to do in the form of witnessing to my non-member friends. Thanks for all the responses.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is an Area Book? I like to help the missionaries. I was a part of that small percentage of random door-to-door proselytizing that was successful. That's how I came to know the church: the missionaries knocked on my door one day when they didn't have any appointments. So I have a really strong testimony of missionary work due to that. Also, in our small branch they don't get fed a lot. Simply because there just aren't a lot of people to do so. I know that it's really hard for missionaries to come to our branch because they aren't getting the support they are used to in wards and whatnot. I called the Elders just a few minutes ago. They said they weren't aware of any rule like that, so they are gonna ask their mission president about it.

So i'm kind of in a conundrum here. I take the missionaries out to eat a lot, usually like Pizza Hut or something. I enjoy their company, and I like learning from them and helping feed them. I can't cook for crap, so buying them fast food is really the only way I can "feed the missionaries". Besides, even if I could cook I could not have them in my house. As of right now, my husband is still not living with me so i'm not able to have them inside my home. I totally understand that rule, which is why i've stuck to public places for meeting the missionaries. 3/4 times i've got a non-LDS friend with me so it's not like we are just shooting the breeze and wasting the missionaries time. This has actually worked out well because we've had two new converts and like five investigators that started out as friends of mine just coming along to these dinners. Recently though, an older member of the branch told me that this was not allowed. Taking the missionaries out to eat that is. She said it was fine to have them in your home, but you weren't supposed to take them out to eat. I've never heard this before, ever. I'll certainly abide by it if that's the rule, although i'll be really disappointed considering all the good it's done so far. Anyone else ever hear about that?

Uh, as far as i'm aware you can't get rid of student loans in a bankruptcy.

I can't believe people in your church are thinking what he's doing is okay, when you are MARRIED and general authorities have counseled that divorced individuals aught to wait for around a year to begin dating again....You would think that on that token alone, even without the harassment, your church peers would tell you what he's doing isn't right. Don't worry about not looking psycho. You've got to keep yourself and your son out of harms way, and this guy doesn't sound like he's all there.

Uhhhh. Why on EARTH did you accept the toys from him? That sends a very mixed message, especially to someone who is looking for any little sign that you are interested. Me personally, I wouldn't have anything to do with this guy or his close family that has personal interest in the matter. He's obviously unstable, let your bishop know that you are contemplating informing the police about this young man's behavior. The next time this guy approaches you, tell him flat out not to contact you anymore for any reason. Platonic or romantic intent is not relevant. Also warn him that you will contact police if his contact continues. Then don't talk to him anymore. Don't let your kid around him. This guy is NUTS.

I wouldn't mind them heart attacking my door or something....but if anyone ever put tape on my car i'm pretty certain I would come unglued. I had a talk with some of the missionaries around here about something similar. They were leaving contact cards with pictures of Jesus or the temple on people's windshields, tucked into their wipers. This is a nice idea in theory, but i've had the ink on those things melt, and dribble down onto my paint. It makes a wonderful glue that sticks the cards right onto your vehicle, and there is no getting them off without taking some of the car's paint with it. *facepalm* The YW/YM leaders need to be careful with stuff like that. It can damage the owner's property..

I feel a really strong kinship to JW folk. I know they hear the "you aren't REAL Christians" crap as much as we do. I always let their missionaries into my house to share their message, and the JW around here tend to do the same for ours.

It depends on where you work and what the company policy is. Where I work, it's called time theft, and will get you fired. You aren't allowed cell phones, PDA's or MP3 players unless you are on your break. I've fired so many people because they "had" to check their facebook instead of cleaning or performing other tasks. It got to the point where we just tell employees to leave their electronics in their car or the break room..

Charismatic churches - AWESOME praise music. I feel the joy of our heavenly father when I hear their music. It's the one thing I truly miss as a now-LDS woman. Our music just doesn't do it for me like theirs does.... Catholicism- I adore their respect for ritual and ordinances. I love going to Mass with my Catholic friends. I think their buildings are beautiful too. Islam- Once again, beautiful buildings. There are a lot of negative connotations associated with this religion, especially that the women are all oppressed in Islam. But in my experience it's been the opposite. All the Muslim women around here are far more educated and well spoken than I am, and VERY independent. Judaism- Such attention to learning and knowledge cannot be overlooked. I also think it's cool that all my Jewish friends know Hebrew. I've also had the privilege of attending a good number of their religious celebrations and they are NOT something to be missed. Atheism/Secular Humanism - Perhaps not a religion, but I feel it deserves respect based on their idea that we aught to be kind, loving individuals because it's what's good for humanity. Not because we are scared to go to hell. Unitarian Universalism - I like going to services where you never know what the person next to you believes about your religion, but you know they are going to be welcoming to you regardless. If i'm not close to a branch or ward when i'm traveling, I go to one of these. The people are so kind and considerate, and ALL religions are welcome and explored there. Can you tell i'm a religious mutt? : D Everyone in my family is a different religion so I got the wonderful experience of seeing all types of faiths in action. I was very blessed.

I've only been a member for like two years, so the 1 year anniversary I spent reading scripture and fasting. Just to kind of collect my thoughts, I may do it again this year.

It never ceases to amaze me whenever I enter a school area anymore. When I was in high school (this was only six years ago mind you) there were MAYBE two kids a class that would be considered overweight. Now when I go into schools, about half of the class is obese, and a fourth are on the pudgy side. It's become so commonplace that it's pathetic. I'm not even sure how a kid becomes overweight, you couldn't make me sit down for more than 30 minutes at that age. I understand how adults can become obese because a lot of people's jobs require they be fairly sedentary.....but a kid? I just want to beat these parents over the head repeatedly. I don't see how letting your child become obese is any different than starving your child. Obviously there are a FEW health reasons why a child's weight would be out of their control....but most people just make excuses that don't hold up. I agree with Vanhin. Personal liberty is far more important than protecting our citizens from themselves. On a side note; school employees don't get paid enough to do a parent's job. I understand there are kids that don't have proper family lives....but that doesn't make it okay to saddle the schools with yet MORE responsibilities that the parents aught to be taking care of themselves.

I'm not too worried about it. He's already been made well aware of all my garbage, I feel pretty confident that he's over it. I've made every effort I can think of to repent for my mistakes, and I really feel as though that's what he's looking for.

It may also be as a protection to the LDS families. Not from their children being molested, but from their husbands and wives being accused of such. That's similar to all the rules about missionaries not being alone with a member of the opposite sex, no physical contact like hugging or letting kids sit on their laps. It's not like the church thinks they are going to go out and rape all their investigators, but they'd rather not risk them getting accused of doing it. We don't have sleepovers of any kind at church activities here, but our leaders in our stake haven't asked that we nix sleepovers on our personal time. I think that's a little silly.

Ugh, I hear various versions of that phrase constantly and it irks me to no end. It seems to me to be a bit of a put-down on the brothers within the church. I wouldn't like it if the statement was reversed, and frankly many women would rage and war over a statement like that. So I don't think we aught to be saying it in church, but I suppose people have freedom of speech. One of the biggest criticisms frequently directed at our church is that it's a sexist institution because some of our doctrine so thoroughly stresses divine roles. Because of this, I believe the LDS culture has a tendency to put women on a pedestal and put down men in a reactionary attempt to show that we don't belittle or look down upon women. However it tends to have the opposite effect, I feel that a lot of the members are somewhat sexist against the men. The intent is good, but the outcome is negative. I hate to think that any of our men feel like they are destined to not be as "good" as the women are. Can't we just judge a person individually based upon their actions and beliefs, and offer them the same opportunities and rights regardless of whether they sit or stand to pee? I mean, that was the original definition of women's rights anyway.....

I've been through the same thing, although my husband wasn't repentant about it at the time. Everyone deals with news of this caliber in a different way. Don't let anyone tell you that your behavior is not normal or bad. With the exception of bringing self-destruction upon yourself, there is no wrong way to grieve the death of your marriage. Which is exactly what it is, the relationship that existed previously no longer exists. That can either be a positive thing or a negative thing, because with the right work you and your husband may be able to create a marriage that is even better than before the affair. Use this time to enter counseling and open the lines of communication with your spouse. You certainly should be angry and sad simultaneously, and you should express that in one way or another. It doesn't mean you have to scream and wail and beat your husband up like many of your friends may think you should(even though you may want to). There are plenty of ways to let your husband know how you feel without burying him under the weight of your emotion, and you have to find those outlets in order to help your marriage survive. A counselor will help you find those methods and help you figure out what works for you. I'm sorry you are going through this, I know how badly it hurts. Just be thankful that your husband is repentant and wants to make up for his mistake. It takes a great man to stand up and admit his mistakes and ask for help to rectify them. It takes an equally great woman to recognize that in her spouse and try and help him instead of tear him down out of her own pain. What a wonderful woman you are!