RachelleDrew

I have several in-laws who are autistic, particularly AS. They all date (those that are old enough to) and they all seem to gravitate towards others with autism as well. Two of them are married, and they are married to autistic spouses. It works out quite well for them, as they tend to "get" each other better a non-autistic person might. One of them has severe AS, and he seems to get on with his wife quite well. Keep your head up, i've seen many autistic people be successful in dating endeavors. You have nothing to be nervous about, it's not like there is something wrong with you. You are just different is all. There are tons of people who can appreciate you for the person you are, and even love your autistic traits. I personally think Aspie boys are endearing and adorable, there is something really sweet about the awkwardness they tend to exude. I know i'm not the only one who feels that way either.

I have some, I don't regret them and i actually like them even after becoming a member. However, I probably won't get more because we've been counseled not to. I'd rather not rock the boat, as much as I like tattoos and would enjoy getting more, I don't like them so much that I would cause others to raise questions about my faithfulness. Just not worth it, so I gave up on getting more. Mine aren't visible under modest clothing so I suppose that could be why it doesn't bother me as much as it might other converts who have them. If you really want them removed and have the cash for it, go for it! But you had better want it badly, it looks like tattoo removal hurts.

My son would much rather play with my jewelry than with his many trucks or in the mud. I've been told by his psychologist grandmother that to try and push a child into the stereotype of what their gender "should" play with could make matters worse. It seems you are best off allowing him to play with what he likes, and when he finds a masculine activity make certain to really encourage him in it. If he turns out to be gay...it won't have anything to do with dressing up like a girl when he was in preschool. Trust me on this one.

Been there, done that. PM me if you need somebody to talk to. I've certainly been in your situation.

Black Like Me is a wonderful book. It's not pushed nearly hard enough as essential literature. On another note....i'm not surprised at all by the original topic. If I see a book with a woman's name on it, I have a tendency to think "Harlequin romance garbage" and move on. I would certainly be more inclined to read a book by a man.

I attended a charismatic church for a while before taking the missionary lessons. There were disciplinary actions and "love courts" very similar to what we have in the LDS church. I remember for the teens/college singles there was something called prayer chapel too. If you were struggling with a particular issue the pastor would set up a day for you to spend in the prayer chapel, which was basically just a small room off the foyer. You would go in with just your bible and a journal, and spend your entire day in prayer and scripture study. The church staff would bring you meals and snacks, and there was a bathroom right next to the room. It sounded harsh, but I did it a couple of times and found a lot of value in it actually. It's not like you were locked in there or anything, you did it when you felt you had some serious soul-searching to do. This particular church had excommunications and disfellowships that were almost identical to the ones we carry out.

Of course, the government taxes everything that I like to do. Why don't they tax something I hate for once? Like football or bad designer purse knockoffs? Bah, humbug.

I've heard of it, but it's not my thing. I would have done miserably had my parents "unschooled" me. I thrive on competition and regulation, so school was needed for me to reach my full potential. My son already seems to have a similar learning pattern that I do, so I don't believe homeschooling or even unschooling will be in the cards. As for my kids choosing their bedtime?.....hahahahahahahahahahaha! Never gonna happen, not until they get to high school anyway.

Anyone working for an income needs to tithe in order to receive a temple recommend. This includes students if they have a part-time or full-time job, and yes members on welfare. One thing to think about is that the church has welfare programs in a way too. Have you heard of a fast offering? If you are making a sincere effort to tithe regularly, then you are well within your right to ask the bishop about receiving assistance if it's available. Sometimes there are situations in which bishops see it fit to grant a recommend without receiving tithing. But that's their call and there is no magic formula for this.

OP- You can wear a simple wedding gown so long as it covers up your garments. There are "shells" you can buy online to wear under your dress (this adds the long sleeves and higher neck) or you can just let the temple matrons give you these little mock sleeve things to wear. They aren't super flattering though, so I would just try and either buy a temple gown, or find a wedding dress that fits the standards of new brides in the temple, and wear the shell underneath. It's really your choice, just remember that wedding dresses in the temple have to be kind of simple. You can't get one with a lot of beading or a long train.

I understand the not be able to hear the lessons thing. We've got some sisters in our branch with young babies....It can be upsetting to not be able to hear what is being spoken about due to their crying. There are no speakers in our hallways or foyer, so the ONLY way to hear the talks on Sunday is in the chapel. It gets aggravating at times, but then you have to realize "at least these sisters are HERE and have a desire to learn the gospel". I want my brothers and sisters to have a chance at the celestial kingdom no matter what inconvenience it may be to me. I agree that you should talk to your bishop about it, because there may be some sort of compromise that will work for everyone. As for the criminality thing, it's kind of irrelevant unless the person is charged with a violent crime like rape or murder. I've been in wards with members who were drug users, and it was common knowledge of such. However, even though I was a little hesitant around these members, I tried my best to love them and show them compassion. The church and gospel is for EVERYONE, not just the law-abiding. You can show a lawbreaking person compassion and love without enabling, but I digress. I'm sorry if some of our members came across as judging you, but to be fair that's kind of the impression you left on a lot of us from your initial post. Perhaps this was just a case of a bad start? Because I can promise you that Pam, Wingnut and Snow are all very nice people who aren't trying to put you down or make you feel bad. They just have a perspective on this situation that is different than yours, and they are trying to help you see how they view the situation as a third party with no previous knowledge of the situation. That type of perspective is invaluable in situations like these, where everyone involved has a personal stake in the outcome. Perhaps if you take a bit back up, and to re-read what they've said you may find something helpful or useful to your specific problem. We'd sure love it if you stayed around and we all just started over. I hope this situation is resolved in the best interest of everyone at your ward. It doesn't have to be miserable for anyone. : )

Here's where i'm confused, Even if you are "pushy" and "self-important", it's irrelevant. The ideas you presented are good ones, and from what you tell us they were organized in a well thought out manner. Methinks someone is a little jealous they didn't come up with it first. Or they just personally don't like family history so they didn't want to be forced into doing it via their callings as youth leaders. I'm personally going to bring up an idea similar to this to my branch president, YM and YW leaders because I think they would be thrilled. Your ward is nuts.

That I don't believe dinosaurs existed. Yeah...not kidding. I get told that all the time.

Before my husband and I moved the last time, we were in the ward boundaries of one ward, but it was actually closer to go to a ward in a different stake. It made no sense at all, but that's just kind of how the boundaries were set up. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but where I live almost everyone is a good 45 minutes to an hour away from a meetinghouse of any kind. So it was really important that we attended the ward closest to us, even if we should have technically been somewhere else. We didn't ask special permission or anything, we just went to the closer one and nobody said anything otherwise. We were there for almost two years. But I think stuff is a little more tightly organized in LDS-heavy populations.

Yeeaaaccch! The touching thing bothers me too. I have issues with personal space. My significant other can be all over me and it doesn't bother me. I'm very touchy-feel-ish with family. But strangers? Don't. freaking. touch. me. Ever. I know it's an overreaction, but it makes me so uncomfortable. Even just touching my arm or shoulder makes me nervous and sweaty. I hate it, and I wish people understood how upset it makes some other people to do that.

^Moksha, I won't ever be able to forgive you for the smut you just posted on this website. Hang your head in shame, you filthy pervert!

Yeah, the description is kind of misleading. I don't think it's so offensive, just kind of stupid looking.

^Yeah, you may want to lay off the sweetheart thing once they hit puberty. I imagine you would run into some problems there.

I won't go into the whole story this evening, because it's quite long winded. Essentially I realized tonight how aggravated I become when a complete stranger calls me "hun" or "honey". It seems to be common in some areas, but it wasn't where I grew up. In fact, it was typically considered rude and condescending. I typically call a stranger "miss" or "ma'm" or "sir" but never "hun". Is this something common in your area? Do you do it? Is this a cultural thing or more personal trait? I'm really kind of perplexed by it.

Elphie is 100% right. You have no idea how empowering it will be for your daughter to see her father stand up for her safety and emotional well-being. She is going to be petrified of her assailant's family for years to come. But if YOU take the stand and show the world that YOU aren't scared of them, it will do absolute wonders for her now negative self-esteem and fear. Don't worry about spreading gossip. Who cares??? The rapist's family will recover from the nasty words. Your daughter may never recover from her assault if you don't take charge of this situation immediately. Elphie isn't being rude or mean. She's being blunt, which this situation is in dire need of bluntness.

I'm not sure what state you are in, but in my state registered sex offenders are not allowed internet access at ALL. I had an employee get yanked out of work a few years ago. The cops had found his myspace page, and as a sex offender on the registry he wasn't allowed one. It doesn't matter if he was using it for contact with minors or not, he still wasn't allowed one. He's got another four years in prison for violation of parole. I would contact his PO. He could be violating his parole/probation and will get sent back to prison for that.

Just for the record, I would totally be okay with our Prophets and other higher-ups (like the 12) living lavish lifestyles. Their jobs don't end at 5pm like the rest of ours do. Their job is a 24/7 365 sort of thing. I can't imagine the crap they have to put up with. I assume President Monson can't go anywhere without security. He and his family probably get death threats from crazies constantly. He doesn't live on his schedule, but on the church's schedule. His life cannot be easy by any means. I figure if Monson wants a nice watch or cool car he certainly deserves it. But it's really humbling to know that he just lives a modest lifestyle. It's kind of neat to think about.

I'm much nicer and more reserved on the internet. I get a chance to think before I post something, that's the beauty of the internet message boards. You get to see what you are saying before you click "post reply". I wish I could keep my mouth shut offline. I'm just too opinionated and very aggressive about it. I'm getting much better though.

If you think a woman having PMS is seeing her at her "worst" then you are not even remotely ready for marriage, much less living together. Just sayin' ; ) On another note; my husband and I had a son together before I was baptized and before we were married. We stopped having sex about halfway through my pregnancy, because I wanted to be baptized into the church. But that meant I would have to live the law of chastity. So from about december til june when I was finally baptized I didn't touch my (then) boyfriend other than kissing. Why did we wait that long? Because I couldn't be baptized into the church so long as I was living with a man I wasn't married to that wasn't blood relative. It didn't matter that we hadn't had sex in months, and that I was "technically" living the law of chastity. My bishop and missionaries at the time still wouldn't baptize me until either my boyfriend and I were married, or if one of us moved out. The latter wasn't possible, we literally had no choice in the matter due to circumstance. So I had to wait until we got married. I'm not certain if this is church policy, or just the preference of my local church leaders. But the moral of this story is this: even if you do manage to remain chaste (and that's a huge "if"), your leaders still may not find you temple worthy or consider you to be in good standing with the church. You know that whole thing about avoiding the "appearance" of evil? Yeah, this would fall into that category. So just think about that...

Your husband certainly needs to get help for his temper if he's having outbursts.....But was going to the bishop really necessary? The only two outcomes of you going behind his back are; 1. He's happy that you did it because it means he doesn't have to accept responsibility for his callings or learn how to say "no" when he feels he can not or should not perform something that is asked of him. He has to learn how to do this for HIMSELF. or 2. He's not happy because you undermined him and went behind his back to make a decision for him. This leads him to believe that you don't respect him. Either way, the result of your actions would not have been positive. I think you owe him an apology....I would agree that he needs professional help, but you sound like you could BOTH benefit from marriage counseling as you seem to have a bit of a communication problem. I'm not blaming you for his anger issues, but you aren't blameless in this particular situation.