chelsea Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 yesterday in seminary, we had our lesson on chastity. we read the for strength of youth pamphlet on the topic and it said that any 'passionate kissing' is frowned upon and later in the pamphlet it says that if we have any problems with chastity, we need to talk to the bishop. does that mean if we've made out with someone before, we need to confess it to the bishop? i mean, it doesn't seem that serious but my teacher said that making out is considered passionate kissing... i have no problem telling my bishop but i just dont want him to think i'm way rebelious and struggle with chastity, because i don't... it just doesn't seem important enough to confess it to him. any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirajo Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Good question! I wouldn't say it's something to talk to your bishop about. Making out happens and you'll know if it crosses the line. Maybe if you're making out all the time to the point where its kind of a base of your relationship then that's an issue. But I don't know! haha. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillowTheWhisp Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 What is 'making out'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 What is 'making out'?Necking, kissing, passionate kissing.Willow- I sent you a PM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 yesterday in seminary, we had our lesson on chastity. we read the for strength of youth pamphlet on the topic and it said that any 'passionate kissing' is frowned upon and later in the pamphlet it says that if we have any problems with chastity, we need to talk to the bishop. does that mean if we've made out with someone before, we need to confess it to the bishop? i mean, it doesn't seem that serious but my teacher said that making out is considered passionate kissing... i have no problem telling my bishop but i just don't want him to think I'm way rebellious and struggle with chastity, because i don't... it just doesn't seem important enough to confess it to him. any suggestions?I usually term this "Swapping Spit". For men, this is quite dangerous since the urges are greater for men than women. President Spencer W. Kimball had this to say: LDS.org - Ensign Article - President Kimball Speaks Out on Morality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Should a person talk to the Lord about such activities? You bet. It is important to understand where the Lord stands on such activities that perhaps only the person would know. Should a person talk to the bishop about it? Only if conscience dictates. If you feel that kissing became inappropriate, then mention it. Be safe. Clear it out. Chances are, your conversation about it with the bishop will be short and sweet. The more important thing is that ones actions and values match. Knowing what you will do and what you feel good about vs. what isn't or doesn't is crucial. One side is free of guilt and shame and you can go forward is security and confidence. The other is playing with fire and tends to erode ones self respect....especially if one continually flirts with danger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna_loves_Ben Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 I think Misshalfway gave some great advice. If you feel you need to talk to the bishop, you probably should. Only you know when you have crossed that line. Of course their is a lot of gray around that line, and that is sort of where you start to get into that grey rocky territory. I think you should just watch what is going on when you "make out" because you can easily get caught up in the moment. Its just allow more temptation, I guess. If you still wonder if you need to talk to the bishop, you probably should just to get it off your mind. And talk with heavenly father as well. Cant leave him out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tomk Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 yesterday in seminary, we had our lesson on chastity. we read the for strength of youth pamphlet on the topic and it said that any 'passionate kissing' is frowned upon and later in the pamphlet it says that if we have any problems with chastity, we need to talk to the bishop. does that mean if we've made out with someone before, we need to confess it to the bishop? i mean, it doesn't seem that serious but my teacher said that making out is considered passionate kissing... i have no problem telling my bishop but i just dont want him to think i'm way rebelious and struggle with chastity, because i don't... it just doesn't seem important enough to confess it to him. any suggestions? This is one of the reasons I am no hurry to repeat my teen years, and the years when I was single. Dealing with those God-given feelings can be a challenge.First of all - never feel embarrassed or ashamed for having those desires. It's on purpose.What Satan does is he takes those God-given feelings and twists them into something that is not "of God." He turns those pure, natural feelings into lust. That is why the Lord warns us and urges us to keep clean.I don't think the problem is kissing -- it is kissing for kissing's sake. Kissing because of the feelings and desires -- not out of actual love for the other person. Even in marriage, this doesn't change. It should still be expressed as love-inspired. The Lord does not sanction us "using" other people for a thrill IN or OUT of marriage!You've already been given some great advice. If you felt to post here, if you felt to ask about it -- you may want to run it by your Bishop. You will feel SO much better for having done so, and will leave his office with a clean slate and a clear direction on how to proceed from that moment forward.Good luck,Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islander Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 IMSTLTHO (In my some times less than humble opinion. I just made that up...LOL) If you are not looking into marriage one should not be spending so much time alone with the opposite sex as to allow for opportunity to make out. As one convert to the church and former resident of Satan's suburb communities, I can attest to the fact that sin is a slippery sloped greased by rationalization and self justification. Add to the mix hormones, fear, desire, lust and a few other ingredients and you have the recipe for excommunication A-la-carte. One should not engage in ANY kind of sexual behavior until such time that marriage is in the inmediate time horizon. Just my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted May 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 thanks for all the advice! i really appreciate it, and i especially appreciate hemidakota's advice... i guess i didn't really consider what it was doing to the people i made out with, and i need to start considering the fact that men usually do have stronger urges than women. and i also didn't realize that i didn't involve the lord as much as i should have. thanks again for all the great advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillowTheWhisp Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I just looked at your profile and realise you are 15. It isn't good to get too seriously involved with someone at your age. The church recommends no dating before you are 16. Apart from anything else there is a legal boundary you could be in danger of stepping over. The Lord gives us advice and guidelines for our own benefit. If you feel you have gone too far in a personal relationship Satan will love to torment you with feelings of guilt about this. The best way to stop him doing that is to assure yourself you have nothing to feel guilty about. Talking to your Bishop may help you to do this. Then avoid the situation in future and tell Satan to take a running jump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted May 23, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 thanks for the tips. just to clarify, i'm not seriously involved with anyone. i wasn't even really dating the kids. they were both just spir-of-the-moment fling, and nothing really became of it afterwards. and also, what kind of legal boundary could i be crossing? thanks again for the advise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
checkerboy Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 Great advice and all and it is nice to think about what you are doing to others but seriously the urges are not stronger for men then women. It is just that men are generally more aggressive about them. Don't start thinking with that mentality or the next step it leads to is well I am a woman so I can control myself better and then Satan has you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lexish Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 1. (somewhat off-topic) I know men have a more difficult time when it comes to kissing+girls but a lot of girls have just as much difficulty with kissing+boys. Just saying, we aren't perfect either. 2. For Chelsea, I know it seems like it isn't a big deal because you aren't serious with the guys but the sooner you get involved, even just once, the easier it is to do it again and do more. I learned this the hard way. Try not to do that sort of thing, it leads to worse situations :\ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisionOfLehi Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 It's definitely not a "Bishop issue" if it's just making out, even if it's "French kissing." But it is something we're to not do. If you want leadership help, a great person to go to would be your Young Women's leader. Kissing itself is okay, you just have to watch how far it goes, and where. (As they say, necking isn't appropriate) If you've done more, and now have the knowledge that it's not right, that's okay. It's an easy problem to fix. Confess in prayer that you know you haven't been fully obedient, and that you'll do better. Stop the inappropriate behavior. When someone pressures you to do it again, stand firm and let them know you've made a decision not to. Choose the Lord over them, and you will be blessed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tomk Posted May 23, 2008 Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 VOL is right. It is what is motivating the kissing ... that .... that is the thing to judge. Love ... or lust? I think you'll be fine, Chelsea. :) Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maya Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Depends what it does toyou if you dont tell.. could it lead to something else... stealing, after all if you steal just a thing no one needs... It does sound aminor thing. Bishop will probably just tap you on your back and say ok, goode you told HF keep strait! That is is. Main thing is if you feel you do wrong NOT to tell him, that would bring you slowly down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 I think the reason they discourage it is passionately kissing leads onto feelings that make you want to do more things..... Its true that you may not find it hard, but for guys its a different story. Be kind to them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adeipho Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 I usually term this "Swapping Spit". For men, this is quite dangerous since the urges are greater for men than women. President Spencer W. Kimball had this to say: LDS.org - Ensign Article - President Kimball Speaks Out on MoralityWhat?!? In my experience the girls were just as "urged" as the boys. I had to beat them away with a stick!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adeipho Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Also, just something to think about for all you crazy kids out there wanting to "make out"... When you kiss someone, you're just putting your mouth on the sweet end of about 28 feet of intestine. Something to ponder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tomk Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Also, just something to think about for all you crazy kids out there wanting to "make out"...When you kiss someone, you're just putting your mouth on the sweet end of about 28 feet of intestine. Something to ponder. Never kissing my wife again. Thanks for that tidbit. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Also, just something to think about for all you crazy kids out there wanting to "make out"...When you kiss someone, you're just putting your mouth on the sweet end of about 28 feet of intestine. Something to ponder. What a lovely thought. NOT!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Oh, but it IS SWEET! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Oh, but it IS SWEET! Well if you like kissing the end of 28 feet of intestines...you go right ahead. hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adeipho Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 thanks for the tips. just to clarify, i'm not seriously involved with anyone. i wasn't even really dating the kids. they were both just spir-of-the-moment fling, and nothing really became of it afterwards. and also, what kind of legal boundary could i be crossing? thanks again for the advise. This comment strikes me as paculair.PeculiarPronunciation: \pi-ˈkyül-yər\ Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English peculier, from Latin peculiaris of private property, special, from peculium private property, from pecu cattle; akin to Latin pecus cattle — more at fee Date: 15th century 1: characteristic of only one person, group, or thing : distinctive2: different from the usual or normal: a: special, particular b: odd, curious c: eccentric, queer synonyms see characteristic, strange The reason it strikes me as strange is because Chelsea referes to the ones she dated as "kids" when she herself is presumibly 15. Also, why the concern for legal bounderies? Why would a 15 year old worry about legal issues of making out with other 15 or 16 year olds? I dont think the intelligent readers of my comment really need me to list the possible "whys", but they are not that many in number but some "whys" could be quite serious. The rest of you cavemen can just send me a message and I might tell you what Im hinting at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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