Help :'(

[SkyWishes]

I need advice right now I am in tears. I came back to church last year and only a few months a go I was told I could take the sacrement again. After me and the bishop decided that my past was more abuse as I wasn't very aware (as I was only a teenager). However today, I let some one come to my house and have sex with me. I can't stop crying. I havn't had any friends for eight years (because of being ill with mental health) and for the first time in my life I have made friends at institute, Girls my own age! We get together and go to the movies or go round each other houses. I start taking the sacrement a few months back and I have never been happier. Now look what I've done today. I've ruined everything. I can't be friends with my friends because of what i really am. A disguisting animal. I shouldn't have let him in the house but he kept going on. i knew it was going to happen. Now I cant take the sacrement and I dont want to go through all the talking with my bishop again. I was working on paying my tithing for my patriachel blessing. Now whats the point. I wish every one would go away. I can't stop crying. I need some advice urgently.

[Hemidakota]

It is better serve that you revisit the Bishop immediately. Was the girl a member of the church? If so, then she should also seek the same. Also, seek a priesthood blessing for comfort and support. You will need it.

Brother, there is hope in all things but at this point, confessing is the right choice. Never give up....

[SkyWishes]

By the way Im a girl! And no he wasn't in the church. I want to be the good person. The lady not the animal. The animal is what they wanted me to be back when I was a teenager "they" as in men. I got away from that. I was doing well. Sacrement, friends, my own little home, even starting my education again but now it feels like it's all falling down. I can see I need to speak to the bishop now but I don't feel like i can I feel so lost

[utcowboy]

Visit with the bishop, you are not lost, you will return to where you want to be if you will apply yourself to the task. Go see your bishop..... we are hoping and praying for your success... :)

[Hemidakota]

By the way Im a girl! And no he wasn't in the church. I want to be the good person. The lady not the animal. The animal is what they wanted me to be back when I was a teenager "they" as in men. I got away from that. I was doing well. Sacrement, friends, my own little home, even starting my education again but now it feels like it's all falling down. I can see I need to speak to the bishop now but I don't feel like i can I feel so lost

I apologize....however, do not give up. You are never lost.

[SkyWishes]

i was doing so well but thanks for hearing me out ive made a very very BIG mistake today im so happy for the gospel and was good to write this down

[richlittell]

It's really amazing how much we all get scared to talk to the bishop about terrible things, but I've never met anyone who wasn't happy once they talked to the Bishop. You won't feel so terrible as you do now. The Bishop and the Holy Spirit will help you feel your true worth even though you have made a big mistake. And remember, even some of the greatest prophets of the church have made some terrible mistakes, but did Heavenly Father ever turn away from them? It's hard to imagine for you right now, but you will feel better, much better, after seeing your Bishop. :)

[PapilioMemnon]

Please, calm yourself down...

Remember,... your Bishop is your friend, not an enemy. He's there to help you!

I can understand your feelings, but you're still here, and seeking advice.... There's hope, there's ALWAYS hope!!! You're still here in this world! Even if you repeated the sin, DON"T GIVE UP!!!

I can't stress enough how important it is for you to seek your Bishop immediately! Sister, you need a Priesthood blessing!

Pray... talk to Father... He wants to hear from you... He wants also to help you... even if it's difficult to pray because of what happened,.... you must go to Him! He won't push you away... He would NEVER consider or call you an animal or disgusting.... you're a child of God; don't call yourselves those names.

Please pray... and let it out to Him... seek your Bishop ASAP!

[Hemidakota]

Do you remember Elder Paul H. Dunn? Here is an except he gave...

Never Give Up! - Paul H. Dunn

[Hemidakota]

It's really amazing how much we all get scared to talk to the bishop about terrible things, but I've never met anyone who wasn't happy once they talked to the Bishop. You won't feel so terrible as you do now. The Bishop and the Holy Spirit will help you feel your true worth even though you have made a big mistake. And remember, even some of the greatest prophets of the church have made some terrible mistakes, but did Heavenly Father ever turn away from them? It's hard to imagine for you right now, but you will feel better, much better, after seeing your Bishop. :)

Excellent posting....leaders can be fallible but they don't give up.

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Sky,

A few things to consider:

* God understands weakness. He knows our difficulties, our struggles, and he knows we will occasionally fail. He loves you just as much as anyone else here.

* God understands mental health issues - better than any doctor or psychiatrist. Better than you do. Again, you can rest assured that He loves you.

* Your Bishop can help. If you have been betrayed before, no doubt it is hard for you to trust anyone. Trust your Bishop. Tell him everything - hold nothing back. He is only a flawed imperfect man like the rest of us, but he has the ability to receive inspiration on how to help you.

* I know a lady very much like you describe yourself. She spent a period of time struggling hard to make it out of her own personal pit. She's told me about the times where it was so hard to take that first and second step, because she had fallen down off the ladder so many times it was becomming routine. But she kept at it. That was a decade ago - that life truly is in her past now. She tells me everything has been better for years and years. She's married to a good man and has two kids - everyone is stable. It can happen - do not give up hope.

LM

[SkyWishes]

Thank so much every ones advice. I was unsure where to take this, a mental health forum or here (as I feel both affected spirtually and equally emotionally by this hence the crying!) but you kno spiritual advice is so uplifting I find it heals all other pain too. Thank so much every one and I am looking forward to speaking to my bishop and I just really want to get as far away from this sin as possible. Im going off to read that "Never give up" with some hot coco and some cookies (arh yes chocolate the perfect tear soother) Thank you again :)

[RachelleDrew]

I can tell you this much; when trying to work your way out of a pit that satan has dug for you is when you will most certainly be tempted the most. He sees your progress and how very close you are to becoming the person that you want to be and he can't let that happen! DON'T LET HIM WIN, with the spirit you are a million times stronger than evil will ever let you believe you are.

As for mental illness, ah have I been there a dozen times. Our decision-making isn't the greatest when our brain is in a dead lock with our soul. If you already aren't, make sure you take steps to keep it under control.

Talk to your bishop, talk to your bishop, talk to your bishop. You need his guidance and wisdom more than ever. No matter what the discipline (if any) is, don't let it get in your way of your relationship with heavenly father. It's for your benefit.

Also, do yourself a favor and get tested for STD's and pregnancy. This is imperative if you've had sex with someone you aren't monogamous with. Even if condoms or birth control was used there is always a chance.

[raulrosalez22]

look I am not sure what to tell you but dont be so hard on yourself.

I will encourage you to read Ezekiel 18 the whole chapter. It might be a little hard at first, but pay close attention to verses 21-23, 27, 30, 32.

Pray about it before you read, pour your heart and place your faith unto the Lord. I know by experience that if you read it without praying first will cause you to go crazy on your mind =P

My sin before I was a member was to deny the Holy Spirit. and I have read (somewhere) that it is as bad as breaking the law of chastity or murder. I know that the Lord loves you and will be willing to listen to you and help you out of this problem.

Don't judge yourself because it is what Satan wants you to believe. that there is no way that we can repent from our sins and that the Lord will never forgive us.

Talk to your Bishop as well. he is appointed to help out the members.

hope to hear from you soon =)

[rameumptom]

Sky, First remember that we all make mistakes (and remake them). Second, know that God loves you and won't give up on you. Third, the Bishop's goal is to help you to heal and have joy in your life. Fourth, you may not know it, but chances are some of the other good girls may also have such struggles in their lives.

Run, don't walk, to your Bishop. Let him help you heal, through repentance and faith on Christ's atonement. You'll get back to the point of taking the Sacrament again. You must desire the blessings of the gospel more than anything else, including the kindness or affection of others. Many guys are pigs, and they'll manipulate you into doing things that are wrong. First they use flattery and logic to confuse you and lower your defenses, then they take control. In the future, draw a line in the sand that no one can cross. If someone tries to cross it, turn and run away to a safe place. Figure out where the line is and where those safe places are now, so you'll recognize them immediately when things go wrong.

[RachelleDrew]

Rameumptom, your post was quite correct.

For for the male crowd here though I must clarify that women often resort to the same tactics as well in an attempt to pull people in to their own pit. I was that person once. Keep that in mind when choosing friends as you are just starting to learn how to create platonic relationships with others.

I'm glad that you are starting to find friends, but if this guy came around your house it sounds like you should still do a little bit of weeding in the friend garden if you get when i'm saying.

As someone who is actively repenting, you are VERY susceptible to temptation because of your desire to build a network of friends. Persistence is good, but desperation can lead to dealing with the wrong crowd.

Anyone who has so little self-respect that they pull someone into the mire with them is not someone that we should closely associate with. Sure, we can be kind and friendly to them, but when you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. Sounds like this guy needs a flea collar. Just keep that in mind when making new friends, male or female.

[unixknight]

Exactly. The thing to remember is something that has helped me.

When someone wants you to do something that they know runs counter t o your beliefs, they're essentially saying "I don't care if this hurts you. I don't care how important this is to you. I want what I want."

The tragedy is that it doesn't take a jerk to think this way. People who do this to you may not even be aware they're doing it. They have many schemes for rationalizing it in their own mind. I've been that person too so I'm telling you from personal experience (which I am not proud to posess.)

At the end of the day it doesn't matter whether they're aware of what they're doing or not. They aren't going to magically start respecting you one day. You have to completely remove these sources of temptation from your life. The Savior has made it clear that sometimes you just have to let people in your life go if they're holding you back.

[Islander]

I need advice right now I am in tears. I came back to church last year and only a few months a go I was told I could take the sacrement again. After me and the bishop decided that my past was more abuse as I wasn't very aware (as I was only a teenager). However today, I let some one come to my house and have sex with me. I can't stop crying. I havn't had any friends for eight years (because of being ill with mental health) and for the first time in my life I have made friends at institute, Girls my own age! We get together and go to the movies or go round each other houses. I start taking the sacrement a few months back and I have never been happier. Now look what I've done today. I've ruined everything. I can't be friends with my friends because of what i really am. A disguisting animal. I shouldn't have let him in the house but he kept going on. i knew it was going to happen. Now I cant take the sacrement and I dont want to go through all the talking with my bishop again. I was working on paying my tithing for my patriachel blessing. Now whats the point. I wish every one would go away. I can't stop crying. I need some advice urgently.

Hello Sky:

I am sorry for the struggle before you and the difficult road ou had to travel. I can only imagine the despair and the sense of isolation.

It is obvious that together with your spiritual wellbeing you MUST address the emotional aspects of your life. It seem to me that you are quite fragile emationally given that you engaged in sexual activity just on a chance encounter (unplanned I mean). It is obvious that your needs for acceptance, companionship, love and intimacy completely overwhelmed you.

I am not sure about what your bishop is going to counsel you but you have to get help. Please, know that however difficult the road ahead, you must travel it to reclaim your portion of the Atonement. Hard as it may look, you have to overcome these challenges before you. They are designed to prove to you your strength and ability to defeat the enemy, and as a testimony to others that sin and struggle are common to mankind and with faith and hope all things are possible thru the mercy of our Savior.

My heart goes out to you.

[bytor2112]

Hello Skywishes,

Take comfort, we all stumble and fall in one way or another. Some never get back up and try again. Don't give up, the Lord will not give up on you. Your Bishop will help you, you will be so happy you went to see him and at some point in time in your future, this will be a distant memory of a life lesson learned.

Don't forget...that in the Eternal scheme of things, this is an event and does not define who you are. We tend to see who we were or who we are, thankfully, Heavenly Father sees who we can become. The Atonement is for everyone and it will cleanse you. Don't forget, you are a precious daughter of Heavenly parents and are loved more than you can comprehend.

[VisionOfLehi]

No matter how big the mistake, the Lord is always there, waiting with open arms.

He loves you beyond comprehension.

Nothing you've done has changed that.

[StallionMcBeastly]

God always love you and will always forgive you.

You haven't started all the way over again in your process, you just hit a speed bump and had to slow down. Just pick it up again and you'll be great!

[Misshalfway]

Sky,

You remember the woman caught in adultry ( the NT ) who was brought to the Savior. Remember His love! Remember His acceptance! Remember He did not condemn her!

Satan is so good at tempting us and leading us to unhappiness and then hands us a stick and instructs us beat ourselves! Don't give him anymore satisfaction on that count! You were doing well. You can, even in this moment, go back to doing well again. The road of repentance doesn't have to be sackcloth and ashes. It can be a gentle and joy filled walk.

[bytor2112]

Misshalfway,

You are definitely a glass is half full kind of gal...... great post. Thank you!

[unixknight]

You know, I was once in a similar situation and was getting counseling from a Church recommended guy...

One of the problems I was having was that my own self-esteem was in shambles and when he asked me if I believed that Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross applied to me, I said that yes I did, but that it was only because it was done for mankind in general, so that's how I got in on it.

He asked me if I believed Jessu would have done it if it were just for me alone. I said I didn't know.

He said (and now I pass this suggestion along to you) to read John 3:16 and insert you rname where the verse says "the world."

"For God so loved SkyWishes; that he gave his only begotten Son..."

(Try that without getting a lump in your throat. I dare ya )

[MorningStar]

I need advice right now I am in tears. I came back to church last year and only a few months a go I was told I could take the sacrement again. After me and the bishop decided that my past was more abuse as I wasn't very aware (as I was only a teenager). However today, I let some one come to my house and have sex with me. I can't stop crying. I havn't had any friends for eight years (because of being ill with mental health) and for the first time in my life I have made friends at institute, Girls my own age! We get together and go to the movies or go round each other houses. I start taking the sacrement a few months back and I have never been happier. Now look what I've done today. I've ruined everything. I can't be friends with my friends because of what i really am. A disguisting animal. I shouldn't have let him in the house but he kept going on. i knew it was going to happen. Now I cant take the sacrement and I dont want to go through all the talking with my bishop again. I was working on paying my tithing for my patriachel blessing. Now whats the point. I wish every one would go away. I can't stop crying. I need some advice urgently.

Hey! Your friends are sinners too and don't let yourself think that you are unworthy of them, OK? :) Keep talking to your bishop. He wants to help you.