Conflict

[Connie]

"Okay, first of all," Lou began, "I asked whether it makes a difference in a conflict if one side is in the right and the other in the wrong. So I ask you again: doesn't that matter?"

"Yes," Yusuf replied, "it does matter. But not the way you think it does."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Lou," Yusuf responded measuredly, "have you ever been in a conflict with someone who thought he was wrong?"...

"No," he answered coolly. "But that doesn't mean they're not."

"True," Yusuf agreed. "But you see, no conflict can be solved so long as all parties are convinced they are right. Solution is possible only when at least one party begins to consider how he might be wrong."

"But what if I'm not wrong!" Lou blurted.

"If you are not wrong, then you will be willing to consider how you might be mistaken."

This little snippet comes from a book called The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict (pg. 56) by The Arbinger Institute (really good, by the way, everyone should read it). I read this last night and thought it very interesting. It made me think of some recent threads i've noticed.

So, why do some people take it personally when someone disagrees with their ideas? Isn't an idea an idea and a person a person? So, if we all think ourselves right, why arn't we more willing to consider how we might be wrong?

Discuss.

[Vort]

Agreed.

[DigitalShadow]

Cognitive dissonance. People don't like to think that longstanding beliefs they have held are wrong, so it is far easier to simply attack everyone who disagrees than face the thought that they could be wrong.

[Connie]

Thanks, DigitalShadow, that's a very interesting read, even though i only read through the first 2 sections so far (such big psychology words i'm gonna have to take it in very slowly to get it through my thick skull). I especially like this sentence: People who are involuntarily exposed to information that increases dissonance are likely to discount that information, either by ignoring it, misinterpreting it, or denying it.[ Very interesting stuff.

[Hemidakota]

Self-esteem is the issue. Imagine being corrected by the Savior or even Heavenly Father over self-instilled doctrine? I have. LOL

[HiJolly]

Self-esteem is the issue. Imagine being corrected by the Savior or even Heavenly Father over self-instilled doctrine? I have. LOL

One time when I was chastized by the Spirit, I didn't even realize it 'till much later! I guess that's because it came with love, understanding and new information that I was grateful to receive.

HiJolly

[Connie]

One time when I was chastized by the Spirit, I didn't even realize it 'till much later! I guess that's because it came with love, understanding and new information that I was grateful to receive.

HiJolly

If only we could all talk to each other in such ways! I think the point really is to see people as people as the book The Anatomy of Peace points out. I can see how self-esteem can be an issue, too. If you don't love yourself how can you love others?

[Elphaba]

One time when I was chastized by the Spirit, I didn't even realize it 'till much later! I guess that's because it came with love, understanding and new information that I was grateful to receive.

Not even a slap on the wrist?

Elphie

[Palerider]

Self-esteem is the issue. Imagine being corrected by the Savior or even Heavenly Father over self-instilled doctrine? I have. LOL

Those would be quite the teaching moments....:)

[lilered]

I have long thought that differences of opinion and ideas should be handled as the spirit of a discussion between little children often do.

Little children can often listen to correction, a different idea, or opinion and after a bit, will adapt a completly new and different or enlarged point of view without any ire towards the one giving it.

[Connie]

I have long thought that differences of opinion and ideas should be handled as the spirit of a discussion between little children often do.

Little children can often listen to correction, a different idea, or opinion and after a bit, will adapt a completly new and different or enlarged point of view without any ire towards the one giving it.

Wow! No wonder we are told to "become as a child." (Mosiah 3:19)

[funkymonkey]

Wow! No wonder we are told to "become as a child." (Mosiah 3:19)

I dunno... if that was the case, all the threads would be about "my dad's bigger than your dad"

[Connie]

I dunno... if that was the case, all the threads would be about "my dad's bigger than your dad"

Hey!...how'd you know my dad was bigger than your dad?!

[funkymonkey]

hey!...how'd You Know My Dad Was Bigger Than Your Dad?!

Haha!

[Misshalfway]

I have long thought that differences of opinion and ideas should be handled as the spirit of a discussion between little children often do.

Little children can often listen to correction, a different idea, or opinion and after a bit, will adapt a completly new and different or enlarged point of view without any ire towards the one giving it.

Or they can kick you in the shins and smack you on the face and run screaming to mom who was quietly gardening and who is now rolling her eyes skyward!