Study suggests Freud was right on this one. Men want their moms, women their dads.

[Fiannan]

Women are attracted to men who look like their fathers and men are attracted to women who resemble their mothers, a new study shows.

Scientists say the findings suggest that children use their opposite sex parent as a template for finding a suitable spouse or partner.

They support the Freudian idea that we learn what to look for in a partner by gazing into the faces of our parents during our infancy.

"Sometimes the resemblance between spouses and between partner and parent is so strong that we were really astonished," said lead author Prof Tamas Bereczkei.

The find is reported in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, Biological Sciences, by Prof Bereczkei of the Institute of Psychology, University of Pécs, Hungary.

Children use opposite sex parent as template for a partner - Telegraph

Hey, come on...who hasn't noticed that many married couples look like each other? Yeah, not always but way more than one might expect.

Freud said we imprint the opposite-sex parent as our ideal mate early in life and (since we realize we cannot have the real thing) we seek a substitute. Thus men are seeking women who resemble their mothers and women are seeking men who likewise are substitute fathers.

Of course there are other interesting theories as to why we are attracted to certain people. Some studies suggest women are attracted to men who smell like their fathers. This doesn't discount Freud since perhaps at a young age we not only imprint (subconsciously) the ideal characteristics of looks and actions but also more subtle characteristics.

Then there are the genetic theories that we are attracted to people who are like us. One of the reasons limits are set on sperm donation (amount of children you can produce) in some countries in Europe is because of the fear that half-siblings are more likely (if they meet) to fall for each other (if they are unaware they are related) and marry. And while the genetic impact of such a union is generally negligible the psychological impact (if they find out) could be far worse. So if only one in a million people are your half siblings the likelihood of meeting by coincidence is pretty small.

It is interesting stuff.

Edited September 4, 2008 by Fiannan

[Moksha]

The Oedipus complex has never been completely resolved then?

Some studies suggest women are attracted to men who smell like their fathers.

So that is why Old Spice is still on the market!

[Connie]

I have found, in my own limited experience, that a girl tends to want someone "just like daddy" or someone just the opposite. I belonged to the second category. The only way my father was a template for me was in finding someone who was the complete opposite, and i was lucky enough to find him. He looks nothing like my father, but after marriage i did notice some very minor similarities in personality. All in all, though, he is my father's opposite. And i'm not very much like hubby's mother except perhaps somewhat in looks. We have had people tell us how much we look alike, though. Even had someone ask if i was my hubby's sister, haha.

[Fiannan]

So he found his mom connerific? You know what's funny is I once had this gal form what was probably a fixation on me. Her father even had the same name as me. I never realy noticed any genetic similarities then but I have noticed my oldest daughter (as she is maturing) looks a lot like this lady did (could pass as sisters). Weird.

[Connie]

Hee, hee! Fun stuff!

[Canuck Mormon]

This is so true, I married someone who is exactly like my mother. They're both women!!!!!

For the record, my wife looks nothing like my mother, thank goodness.

[Connie]

This is so true, I married someone who is exactly like my mother. They're both women!!!!!

For the record, my wife looks nothing like my mother, thank goodness.

[NeuroTypical]

Grandpa had 6-ish daughters. Grandpa was always thin as a rail. All 6-ish daughters married big beefy meaty lumberjack types except for one daughter who married someone rather thin. That daughter divorced and later married the biggest beefiest meatiest lumberjack of the bunch.

Go figure.

LM

[Nappaljarri]

I tend to agree with Connerific on this one about the type of person you choose (not about looks yet, I'll discuss that as well). My husband chose someone (me) who was totally opposite to his mother who is a man hater, martyr, lazy, disobedient wife (I could go on but I won't). Funnily enough, my mother is that same type of person, and I chose very early on in my childhood that I would not emulate my mother as it just wasn't working for her (being depressed and sad and had two failed marriages). So yes, it goes both ways I think, you choose someone totally like your parent (1. if they are awsome and you want someone just the same, or 2. because you have not been enlightened and you are blinded to your decisions because you have not been taught agency and you make the same mistakes as your parents in choices etc), or you choose someone who is totally opposite or very very different to your parent because you are enlightened and see that it ain't workin for them. And, you also make choices in your life to emulate your same sex parent, or be totally different to them.

Now for looks. I have a different theory altogether on this one. As some have said before, how they make the observation that some couples look so much alike they could look like siblings etc. Here is my theory.... and I'll build up the theory with what I understand to be true.

1. We are all Heavenly Father's children = we all have his likeness

2. From going to the temple I have come to the understanding that we had some part to play in our own creation (as well as the creation of this earth).

3. Adam and Eve are the first parents of all of us

4. Eve was created from the rib of Adam... (I think that is very signifcant)

So from those pieces of information, I believe that inside of us is the seed of life and ALL genes possible to man. I believe that humans have not come to that realisation because we also have the power to manifest what (because of our sub-conscious/spiritual powers) genes we see fit to manifest. Hence when a couple become one spiritually, they also start to physically show those signs as well, because they want to be one, and the same in image etc.

What do you all think of that?

So going on from that. I chose a husband who looks absolutley nothing like my father. And he chose someone who looked absolutley nothing like his mother, except we both chose each other because we were tall (I'm sure most tall women would understand my notion of wanting to find a taller man :) ). So, we have been married for 10 years, and although we didn't look that much alike when we were first sealed, nowadays, people are saying left right and centre how much we look alike. Very interesting.

Edited September 4, 2008 by Nappaljarri

[Connie]

I tend to agree with Connerific on this one about the type of person you choose (not about looks yet, I'll discuss that as well). My husband chose someone (me) who was totally opposite to his mother who is a man hater, martyr, lazy, disobedient wife (I could go on but I won't). Funnily enough, my mother is that same type of person, and I chose very early on in my childhood that I would not emulate my mother as it just wasn't working for her (being depressed and sad and had two failed marriages). So yes, it goes both ways I think, you choose someone totally like your parent (1. if they are awsome and you want someone just the same, or 2. because you have not been enlightened and you are blinded to your decisions because you have not been taught agency and you make the same mistakes as your parents in choices etc), or you choose someone who is totally opposite or very very different to your parent because you are enlightened and see that it ain't workin for them. And, you also make choices in your life to emulate your same sex parent, or be totally different to them.

Now for looks. I have a different theory altogether on this one. As some have said before, how they make the observation that some couples look so much alike they could look like siblings etc. Here is my theory.... and I'll build up the theory with what I understand to be true.

1. We are all Heavenly Father's children = we all have his likeness

2. From going to the temple I have come to the understanding that we had some part to play in our own creation (as well as the creation of this earth).

3. Adam and Eve are the first parents of all of us

4. Eve was created from the rib of Adam... (I think that is very signifcant)

So from those pieces of information, I believe that inside of us is the seed of life and ALL genes possible to man. I believe that humans have not come to that realisation because we also have the power to manifest what (because of our sub-conscious/spiritual powers) genes we see fit to manifest. Hence when a couple become one spiritually, they also start to physically show those signs as well, because they want to be one, and the same in image etc.

What do you all think of that?

So going on from that. I chose a husband who looks absolutley nothing like my father. And he chose someone who looked absolutley nothing like his mother, except we both chose each other because we were tall (I'm sure most tall women would understand my notion of wanting to find a taller man :) ). So, we have been married for 10 years, and although we didn't look that much alike when we were first sealed, nowadays, people are saying left right and centre how much we look alike. Very interesting.

This is very interesting. I would say the same thing about my parents. They did not look much alike when they first married but have grown to look more alike.

Your mother-in-law sounds an awful lot like mine. Really the only way we look alike is that we are both blonde and blue eyed, although i'm not as blonde as i used to be after having 4 kids.

[Wingnut]

Grandpa had 6-ish daughters. Grandpa was always thin as a rail. All 6-ish daughters married big beefy meaty lumberjack types except for one daughter who married someone rather thin. That daughter divorced and later married the biggest beefiest meatiest lumberjack of the bunch.

Go figure.

LM

How does one have 6-ish daughters?

[Nappaljarri]

//Your mother-in-law sounds an awful lot like mine. Really the only way we look alike is that we are both blonde and blue eyed, although i'm not as blonde as i used to be after having 4 kids. //

Tee hee hee!!! Yes, four children will do that won't it :)

[kona0197]

What a relief. I though upon reading the thread title that this was a completely different topic.

[NeuroTypical]

How does one have 6-ish daughters?

Well, one really doesn't. One has a grandkid (me) who can't remember how many sisters mom had, so took his best guess and allowed for error.