How much power?

[Winnie G]

How much power would you say your bishops wife have in your ward?

This seems odd and I have live in my share of wards but my ward now seems to have a bishops wife who holds some kind of authority / power over the ward.

She teaches Sunday school by power point with little class interaction from the pulpit and in RS if her hand goes up her opinion is gold.

It makes me unconformable and makes the rule of having to stay in that one ward unconformable and unfair.

This cant be normal, I know we are a small ward and I suppose few to draw on but I do wonder how much is to much.

[pam]

Reminds me of an experience I had. I was an Ombudsman for a ship. I went to a meeting with other Ombudsman, Commanding Officer's wives, and others. The speaker we had said.."We're going to do an exercise. I want everyone to sit according to rank." Well took about 15 minutes for everyone to get settled back down again. There were about 7 of us that just sat in the back.

The speaker turned to the audience and said...How interesting but none of you ladies have rank. Your husband wears the rank you do not. you support him in his job...but you don't hold the rank. I've never forgotten that.

I think sometimes the same holds with Bishops and Stake Presidents wives. They don't hold the "rank." They are there to support their husbands in their callings only.

[a-train]

The best way, in a LDS classroom setting, to handle expressed opinions is to thank people for them and then offer those of the oracles of God and let those in attendance decide what opinion they'll take up.

-a-train

[Truegrits]

How much power would you say your bishops wife have in your ward?

Aside from supporting their husbands, the most "power" any one of them has had, was one wife did have the responsibility to line up the speakers. She did an excellent job. She asked/assigned the talks a month in advance. Plenty of prep time. Since her husband was released, the "chore" has been the responsibility of the Bishopric. It has not gone smoothly. They "forget", then call on a Friday, or even a Saturday, for that Sundays talk. They will get their immediate family to get up and give a testimony...we have had the same family speak twice in the same month (the Bishop's family...)

I wish that task was an actual calling...it would probably be more organized.

[Elgama]

In my branch it was what nearly destroyed us especially when wives of branch presidency started competing it was unpleasent and the nastiness still lingers and the bitterness when you speak to people on your VT list is awful

-Charley

[StrawberryFields]

Interesting thread.

I have not really come across this type of behavior. I have however seen our Stake Presidencies wife talk loudly to the woman next to her in a Temple Session.

[Jenamarie]

Thankfully I haven't seen this happen in any ward I've been in. The Bishop's wives have just been regular members of the congregation, focused on their own callings.

I *have* been in a ward that had a woman called to assign talks (Bishopric picked the topic though, of course). She gave you a call two weeks ahead of time, then sent you a form letter in the mail with the date, topic, and time-limit of your talk. It was awesome! I was *shocked* when I left that ward (I grew up in it) and realized that this isn't how it's always done.

[mightynancy]

I suppose we're lucky in that regard! My bishop's wife has the power of kindness, LOL. She's smart, fun, and caring, and focused on her own callings. They're a lovely family.

On that note, her husband doesn't necessarily wield "power" either...he is a steward, and a leader, but at the same time a humble servant.

[rockwoodchev]

We have a problem with this in our current ward. It is very obvious that the wife is being consulted on callings. She knows of many callings before the call has been made. It is very clear that there is pillow talk going on.

I think this probably happens more often than not. Sometimes it is a good thing, sometime not. Often the wife of the Bishop has information about the women in the ward that the bishop doesn't know. It is often said that callings are more about information than inspiration and I think the wife of the Bishop knows much about what is going on in the ward.

[Palerider]

I have some opinions here.....not that I know anything...:)...back here in this part the Bishops family gets every move they make watched over. You can have a RS event at church and if my wife was a no show...it would be said...the Bishops wife wasn't here etc...people call the house to speak with me and if I am not here they begin to tell my wife all their troubles...some stuff that should not even be told to them, but...that part comes with the job. Its not that she carries any power in the ward...its how people react when they see her hand go up...I think they are the ones making a big deal of it....thats my opinion...I could go on with more...but it would be boring to everyone....:)

[john doe]

I have never heard of anybody using Powerpoint in Sunday School.

[pam]

There was one thing I always appreciated about my Father. He served in 5 different Bishoprics under 5 different Bishops. He was privy to many many things going on in the ward and with the families in the ward. But he didn't discuss any of these with my mother nor did she ask. She has told me on numerous occasions she was glad she didn't know anything. She could treat everyone the same without having the "thoughts" of their problems in her head.

[countrygirl66]

The ward I grew up in there was a man called as bishop. I was a teenager at the time. He was hot tempered, impatient and his wife was a terrible housekeeper. They were farmers with 8 kids and she always had the children of a foster daughter she had raised. He was at the time the perfect man to be called and she was a great influence on me also. A lot of the adults in the ward didn't like the lords choice, but I can distinctly remember the influence they had on me and the other 25 kids in the youth program at the time. I think of her often and know she had a big influence on teaching me to be happy with who I was. She was always upbeat and happy herself. I guess my point is that sometimes someone is called to a position or in a position for what they can bring to the lives of some. I am not trying to belittle your situation at all, just saying that maybe there is someone there that needs her. I hope things get better for you.

[lilered]

I have to confess, I have lived in many wards, been in Bishoprics, etc. but never ran across a Bishops or Stake Presidents wife that was controlling or powerful. Most functioned in a supportive role or as earlier stated were used as sounding board during the absence of the Bishop or Stake President. I have been personally acquainted with many spouses and most didn't have a clue as to what was going on in the ward as far as the Bishops or Stakes business but they were lovely women who did everything they could to make members welcome in their home as well as feel welcome and loved at church.

It sounds almost after reading this thread,like it rarely occurrs and then only because of the individual spouses personality.

Edited November 4, 2008 by lilered

[Winnie G]

The power point is used like a collage or university class, way off from the manual.

Not that it does not stay on topic and I learn more then just any old Sunday school lesson, but there is little to no class interaction, its seen as a interruption by her.I always go home and pull out my manual and read the whole lesson.

I am a real manual nut, Use IT TEACH From IT and Stay on topic.