Question about a person calling

[Traveler]

is it at all common for people to reject their callings when they are given them?

It has happened - even in scripture. Perhaps the most famous was Jonah in the Old Testament. Most however, do not end up so dramatic.

The Traveler

[bodhigirlsmiles]

Oh my apologies. I shouldn't do that. I'm terribly sorry. RS is Relief Society. It's the Women's organization in the LDS Church.

oh, ok thank you! i have heard of that. they do a lot of charitable work, is that correct?

[pam]

Individually and many times as a group. One of the many charitable things they do is bringing in meals to a fellow Sister. For example: A woman has a baby. There are usually a couple of days or more where the Sisters will take turns bringing in meals for the family to allow the new mother rest and a period of recovery without having to worry about fixing meals for her family.

I've had this done for me a couple of times after having surgery.

[Iggy]

is it at all common for people to reject their callings when they are given them?

I said no to a calling. I had just reactivated back after nearly 30 years. I was called as Primary 1st Councilor. I said No because I was not ready for any kind of calling, especially a calling that requires as much of my time and energy as a full time job.

Six months later I was called as Branch Librarian. I said yes to that calling. Six months later, after working on the clean up and restoration of the library (the last librarian abused the calling- she used Church monies to pay for videos, supplies to feather her own nest and those of her expanded family to the tune of several thousand $) I was again called as Primary 1st Councilor. This time I accepted.

I was more comfortable in the Branch, I delighted in the Library work, and I also delighted in the Primary children who came to me at the Library looking for videos for FHE. We had the best time choosing the videos.

The Branch Presidency was just a bit pre-mature the first time. I held three callings at one time after only being back to Church 1 year. Branch Librarian, Primary 1st Councilor and Branch Family History Consultant.

At the Ward I am in now, I accepted all callings without even praying about them. I was wrong and should have taken at least 24 hours to respond. Spent that 24 hours pondering and praying and then tell the Bishop no to two of them.

My seasoned advise is: Take at least 24 hours before you answer either way to the calling. Generally they ask you on a Sunday. Respond on Tuesday. Pray, after fasting, and do not be afraid to say NO, if that is the answer you receive.

[BenRaines]

So if I understand correctly we should second guess the Bishop and his inspiration to extend to us a calling. For me to go back to the Bishop and say no would be the same as saying "I don't think you were inspired to call me to this position".

Just my opinion.

Ben Raines

[Palerider]

So if I understand correctly we should second guess the Bishop and his inspiration to extend to us a calling. For me to go back to the Bishop and say no would be the same as saying "I don't think you were inspired to call me to this position".

Just my opinion.

Ben Raines

I extended a call to a sister to serve as Relief Society President and she came back and told me no. She said she prayed about it and did not feel like she should accept. I felt like my inspiration was not valid from her response....as I said she did not accept....I will go to my grave knowing that she was suppose to be the President at that time.

[Iggy]

oh, ok thank you! i have heard of that. they do a lot of charitable work, is that correct?

Pam is very correct in her answer to you. The RS Sisters also do community charitable works. They gather together and put together quilts for abuse centers, hospitals, and also for Humanitarian Aid through the Church.

They also put together Hygiene kits, the sisters donate everything that goes into the kits, then the kits are cent to Utah where they are dispersed where and when needed. Katrina is one example.

They also put together School kits. Paper, pencils, etc. and then the Church dispenses these.

Our Stake made rag dolls (animals and dolls) for children who are victims of abuse and disaster. Those who have been made homeless by fires, flooding, etc. Along with the rag dolls comes a small quilt, hygiene items, small box of crayons, coloring book, and a small reading book. Our County Sheriff found that the children responded and healed faster emotionally when they had something that was just theirs and they didn't have to share.

Our RS works very closely with the Hospital and Children Services to help to provide the more personal touch. Many of our RS Grandmothers volunteer at the Hospital Nursery to rock and feed the preemie's and crack (Drug addicted) babies.

When you have been a recipient of the good works of the RS (they came in and cleaned my home for me, and brought me enough food for a few weeks, after I had been ill for weeks) then you realize that the RS was and is divinely called.

When you have participated in one or more of the many service projects, then that divine-ness is really hammered home! Sometimes to the point where you will give unsolicited service to someone. I did. My neighbor never knew it was me, which made it more delicious to me. I so loved leaving a bag filled with T.Paper, bath soap, laundry detergent, bubble bath, a few cans of tuna, small jar of mayo, jar of dill pickles, a pound of hamburger, onions, loaf of bread, spaghetti sauce and noodles and a box of chocolates.

She was on Food Stamps - you can not purchase hygiene items with the stamps. The food was because she thought of them as luxury food and refused to buy them. She absolutely loved tuna sandwiches with dill pickle & onion slices. She only had enough cash money coming in to pay her rent, elect, water/sewer. All of us neighbors let her put her two small bags of trash in our garbages. We all took turns.

I was on stamps too- but I was working part time. I really didn't miss the items, and when I made home made soups, I took her a large bowl. When I made home made bread, I made enough extra for a loaf for all the neighbors.

Oh, I have rambled on - Here is a link that should prove interesting to you. History

[Iggy]

So if I understand correctly we should second guess the Bishop and his inspiration to extend to us a calling. For me to go back to the Bishop and say no would be the same as saying "I don't think you were inspired to call me to this position".

Just my opinion.

Ben Raines

Ben, is this aimed at me? If it is, then I say I am NOT second guessing the Bishop or Branch President. I feel that by taking 24 to 48 hours to ponder it, pray to Father myself is a given. I have direct inspiration for Me, Myself and I, and I have the divine right to go to Father and ask, Is THIS what you want of me?

Are you telling me that I do not have the right to go to Father and ask?

Are you telling me that I do not have the right to say NO?

Bishops/Branch Presidents/Stake Presidents are human. I have seen many who have called others out of sheer desperation and not inspiration.

The Branch President who accepted my No was correct in doing so. He didn't know me at all. He had no clue what was going on in my personal life. He didn't even know that I was married.

Shortly after saying NO, he, his councilors, the RS Pres and I were able to converse about me. I felt more comfortable around the men, as long as the sisters were there, and I was able to educate them about my personal life.

Within 3 months I was extended the calling of Branch Librarian. That calling I accepted, once I found out what it required. No way will I accept any JOB/CALLING without first knowing what it requires of me. I will not say I will do something just to find out I am not capable of doing it. If I could not read, then I would not accept the library calling.

[Iggy]

Being called as a Bishop/Branch President does NOT take away your human-ness.

You may believe you were inspired, but ultimately it is between the member and God!

She will probably go to her grave believing she was more inspired than you.

At the other side of the veil, you both will discover that God was the correct one.

I have found that quite often Bishops/Branch Presidents let their callings go to their human heads. Just like RS Pres, Primary Pres, Quorum Leaders, Elders Quorum Pres, etc., let their callings go to their human heads too.

Rather than thinking that we who say no are always wrong, perhaps you should humble yourselves a bit more and ponder the thought that you might have been wrong in extending that call to the person.

[Palerider]

Being called as a Bishop/Branch President does NOT take away your human-ness.

You may believe you were inspired, but ultimately it is between the member and God!

She will probably go to her grave believing she was more inspired than you.

At the other side of the veil, you both will discover that God was the correct one.

I have found that quite often Bishops/Branch Presidents let their callings go to their human heads. Just like RS Pres, Primary Pres, Quorum Leaders, Elders Quorum Pres, etc., let their callings go to their human heads too.

Rather than thinking that we who say no are always wrong, perhaps you should humble yourselves a bit more and ponder the thought that you might have been wrong in extending that call to the person.

was this aimed at me......I don't agree with you......you don't what I felt when I prayed about it....I wasn't wrong.....

[BenRaines]

Pale, I got it. How about we let the members pray about what they should be doing in the ward and just come and tell us. That way we would not make those mortal mistakes. Of course members are above doing that. Bishops are the human, mortal, erring ones. Said tongue in cheek with a bit of truth.

Ben Raines

[Palerider]

Pale, I got it. How about we let the members pray about what they should be doing in the ward and just come and tell us. That way we would not make those mortal mistakes. Of course members are above doing that. Bishops are the human, mortal, erring ones. Said tongue in cheek with a bit of truth.

Ben Raines

I am all for that.....maybe I won't get called again if we start doing it this way....let someone else serve...:)

[Iggy]

was this aimed at me......I don't agree with you......you don't what I felt when I prayed about it....I wasn't wrong.....

At you and Ben.

Sometimes Bishops forget that the person they are extending the call to needs and should go to God for confirmation.

But the way you stated it, that is how it sounded.

I put myself in her place, with my emotions and my background complete with baggage.

I haven't a clue whether you knew her prior to extending the calling- like I said, I put myself into the equation complete with baggage.

I know what I can handle, what I can and can not do - no one else on the face of this earth does. Not my Bishop, Not my Stake President, Not even my darling, eternal companion. Father does, thus I go to Him and ask if the particular calling is what He wants me to do.

Just out of curiosity Pale, did you know of any spiritual gift that woman had? We are all blessed with spiritual gift(s) from Father. As an example, I have the gift of discernment. It took me years to learn to accept it. Actually it took me years to believe I had it. I developed this gift by going to the Temple on a monthly basis.

My husband helps me to maintain this gift, through his spirituality within the confines of his Priesthood. I beseech Father to strengthen me from abusing His wonderful gift, and to strengthen me from ignoring it or for abusing it.

At first I thought it only worked in person - nose to nose. But after counseling with my Stake President, my husband and Father, I discovered that it works via snail mail letters, email, internet and telephones.

So, when the Bishop at this ward extended a calling to me, I nearly refused before he had finished talking. I told him I had to have some time to think, ponder and pray about it. I went to Father to ask if this was truly from Him, I was nearly fl attended on my face with a NO. I went to the Temple and strolled the grounds pondering this dramatic NO I had received.

On the drive home, I knew I would say No to the Bishop. I was calm, serene actually. There were no doubts, no confusion, only confidence that I had discerned Father's answer totally.That it was not me who was refusing, but that is was what He wanted. That particular calling was not what He wanted me to do.

[Iggy]

Pale, I got it. How about we let the members pray about what they should be doing in the ward and just come and tell us. That way we would not make those mortal mistakes. Of course members are above doing that. Bishops are the human, mortal, erring ones. Said tongue in cheek with a bit of truth.

Ben Raines

Rather cheeky and self righteous remark Ben, really christian of you too.

Why don't you allow and respect the mortal members the opportunity to go to their God and ask if you mortal Bishops really are being inspired.

Even if Pres. Monson extended a calling to me, I would still take several days before I responded, and I would not let his position in the Church ( President and Living Prophet) keep me from saying No as long as that is the inspiration I receive from my God!!

[Palerider]

Like we said earlier....we don't need to extend calls anymore....let the members run it

[BenRaines]

Not the first time I have been called self-righteous. I bet it won't be the last.

Ben Raines

[Palerider]

Not the first time I have been called self-righteous. I bet it won't be the last.

Ben Raines

after being cussed out and called other names while serving...being called self righteous is one of the better ones...:)

[kona0197]

I would reject a calling if it involved talking in front of the congregation. I don't do things like that.

[pam]

That's something a lot of people aren't comfortable with and that's okay. For some it's a strength for others a weakness. That's okay too.

[MarginOfError]

Ben, is this aimed at me? If it is, then I say I am NOT second guessing the Bishop or Branch President. I feel that by taking 24 to 48 hours to ponder it, pray to Father myself is a given. I have direct inspiration for Me, Myself and I, and I have the divine right to go to Father and ask, Is THIS what you want of me?

Because of the priesthood keys he holds, the Bishop also receives direct inspiration for You, Yourself, and You. In fact, your Bishop, Stake President, and any authorized General Authority (all the General Authorities hold the keys, but they aren't always authorized to use them in certain areas) may receive direct inspiration for you.

Are you telling me that I do not have the right to go to Father and ask?

Are you telling me that I do not have the right to say NO?

You have every right to ask and every right to say no. The flip side of that is you will never know what blessings and healing were available to you had you accepted.

Bishops/Branch Presidents/Stake Presidents are human. I have seen many who have called others out of sheer desperation and not inspiration.

Calling you to the Primary Presidency after having "just reactivated" is a pretty bold move. You're completely right, it either was entirely desperate, or it was entirely inspired.

The Branch President who accepted my No was correct in doing so. He didn't know me at all. He had no clue what was going on in my personal life. He didn't even know that I was married.

I've received callings from leaders that didn't know me at all. About two weeks before I moved away from the first college I attended I received a phone call from the Stake Executive Secretary. The Stake Presidency--whom I had never even met--wanted to extend me a calling. I informed them that I would not be part of their stake for more than two weeks and respectfully declined. That Sunday, the entire Stake Presidency met with me to try to convince me to stay; they felt very strongly that I should be a stake missionary. They offered to help me find a job, a place to stay, everything that a college student would need, but I informed them that I just couldn't stay and had to move back home. The first Sunday after I got back home, the Stake President in my parents' stake came to visit our ward and called me as a stake missionary. Believe me, you don't have to know the person to receive inspiration for them.

Shortly after saying NO, he, his councilors, the RS Pres and I were able to converse about me. I felt more comfortable around the men, as long as the sisters were there, and I was able to educate them about my personal life.

Within 3 months I was extended the calling of Branch Librarian. That calling I accepted, once I found out what it required. No way will I accept any JOB/CALLING without first knowing what it requires of me. I will not say I will do something just to find out I am not capable of doing it. If I could not read, then I would not accept the library calling.

This is a sign of a great Bishop. His inspiration was correct, and he knew it. So he grew you into the position he knew you needed to be in. I hope you still send him Christmas cards.

Being called as a Bishop/Branch President does NOT take away your human-ness.

You may believe you were inspired, but ultimately it is between the member and God!

This goes two ways. And remember, the Bishop is authorized to receive revelation for the members of his ward.

She will probably go to her grave believing she was more inspired than you.

At the other side of the veil, you both will discover that God was the correct one.

And she'll go to the grave never having known the blessings and healing she could have received had she been willing to serve as asked.

I have found that quite often Bishops/Branch Presidents let their callings go to their human heads. Just like RS Pres, Primary Pres, Quorum Leaders, Elders Quorum Pres, etc., let their callings go to their human heads too.

Rather than thinking that we who say no are always wrong, perhaps you should humble yourselves a bit more and ponder the thought that you might have been wrong in extending that call to the person.

I have actually found this to be a rare occurrence. In fact, every bishopric I've known has taken people's concerns about callings very seriously. When I first moved into my current ward, it became known that I was interested in Scouting and would likely get involved with a community troop, since our ward didn't sponsor a troop. The bishopric soon became interested in teaming with another ward to start a troop and asked me to consult with them on how to make this happen. I looked at the situation and for a number of reasons advised them that a Church sponsored troop in their situation would be difficult to maintain, taxing on those called to it, and highly unlikely to succeed. When they asked me if I would like to be involved (they didn't officially extend a calling, but they hinted), I said as politely as I could that I thought that starting such a troop would result in a sour experience for the boys involved and that if I were considering a troop for my son, the troop they had in mind would be eliminated very early. At the same time, I told them that if they called me, I would accept. They never called me. Since then, I have been called into positions where I work very closely with the bishopric and have learned how seriously they consider member objections to callings.

Another example I might share concerns my wife. When we first moved into our ward we filled out questionnaires about what our skills and talents were. On hers, she wrote that she could lead music. The following Sunday she was called as Relief Society chorister. In this case, she truly felt it was a calling lacking inspiration, and one that offered very little room for growth. She was later called to serve on the enrichment committee coordinating meals for mothers following delivery, but again felt like she was called because someone was needed and they knew she'd say yes. Then, after a few months, she was called as the Ward Music Director. When the bishopric extended the calling, months of frustration let loose and she broke down crying. She explained to the bishopric that she felt she was being called because she was convenient and not because it was inspired. The bishopric advised her to take a week to think about it, and that they would do the same. A week later, the bishopric spoke with her and said that they did feel that the call was inspired. They also said quite bluntly, that this calling may not be for her growth, but that she had the skills to develop the ward's music program in a way that would help many in the ward grow.

Again, callings--and how members feel about callings--are taken very seriously by bishoprics.

Sometimes Bishops forget that the person they are extending the call to needs and should go to God for confirmation.

But the way you stated it, that is how it sounded.

I put myself in her place, with my emotions and my background complete with baggage.

I haven't a clue whether you knew her prior to extending the calling- like I said, I put myself into the equation complete with baggage.

Baggage and the person enter the situation when no inspiration comes. If the Lord does not inspire a bishop, that's when background and baggage get thrown into the equation. But if the Lord tells the Bishop who to call, nothing else matters.

I know what I can handle, what I can and can not do - no one else on the face of this earth does. Not my Bishop, Not my Stake President, Not even my darling, eternal companion. Father does, thus I go to Him and ask if the particular calling is what He wants me to do.

This is not necessarily true. As mentioned before, Bishops and Stake Presidents hold keys that authorize them to receive revelation for and/or in behalf of those over whom they preside. In fact, there's a body of evidence that your husband may as well (if you are sealed to him).

Just out of curiosity Pale, did you know of any spiritual gift that woman had?

If he was inspired to call her, then her spiritual gifts are irrelevant to the situation.

We are all blessed with spiritual gift(s) from Father. As an example, I have the gift of discernment. It took me years to learn to accept it. Actually it took me years to believe I had it. I developed this gift by going to the Temple on a monthly basis.

My husband helps me to maintain this gift, through his spirituality within the confines of his Priesthood. I beseech Father to strengthen me from abusing His wonderful gift, and to strengthen me from ignoring it or for abusing it.

Like saying when a calling issued by another bishop was or wasn't appropriate?

At first I thought it only worked in person - nose to nose. But after counseling with my Stake President, my husband and Father, I discovered that it works via snail mail letters, email, internet and telephones.

So, when the Bishop at this ward extended a calling to me, I nearly refused before he had finished talking. I told him I had to have some time to think, ponder and pray about it. I went to Father to ask if this was truly from Him, I was nearly fl attended on my face with a NO. I went to the Temple and strolled the grounds pondering this dramatic NO I had received.

On the drive home, I knew I would say No to the Bishop. I was calm, serene actually. There were no doubts, no confusion, only confidence that I had discerned Father's answer totally.That it was not me who was refusing, but that is was what He wanted. That particular calling was not what He wanted me to do.

To flat out say no negates your sustaining of your bishop. I have no problem with you doing this if you are willing to accept it for what it is. The wiser course of action is to discuss with the Bishop what your concerns are. If he still feels the call is right and inspired after this discussion, then you might need to rethink your position. In my experience, it isn't uncommon for bishoprics to change callings based on candid, honest, and civil conversations with members. But bishoprics don't make changes when members ask--they make them when they feel confirmation for what the member is asking. It's quite a difference from what you're proposing.

[Tough Grits]

Some serious aspects of our religion and beliefs have been brought up in this thread. What a wonderful opportunity for each of us to step up and share what we know to be true with love and gentleness.

However, it does nobody any good to express doctrine or principles with sarcasm, flippancy, or hostility.

The spirit cannot teach in that manner.

[Palerider]

Some serious aspects of our religion and beliefs have been brought up in this thread. What a wonderful opportunity for each of us to step up and share what we know to be true with love and gentleness.

However, it does nobody any good to express doctrine or principles with sarcasm, flippancy, or hostility.

The spirit cannot teach in that manner.

you are correct....

[Traveler]

No one is forced to serve - there are three parts to a the covenant that concerns calls to serve. The first is the call wherein we are asked to give of ourselves in service. The second is the act of faith whereby we offer ourselves (as did Christ) as an act of love of other and submission of our will. The third is the support (by covenant) of others according to their call.

This order of covenant is the method by which we learn how the wheels of the kingdom of G-d turn. How all are made equal partarkers of the covenants and means by which all live in peace in a society. I believe and have stated that many have no desire to live forever in heaven but would be much more happy somewhere else living by a different covenant. I believe accepting and fulfilling callings is a most important method G-d grants to the saints to learn to live lovingly within the social structure of his kingdom.

The Traveler

[RainofGold]

In my case every time I had a calling the bishop or one of his counselors have come to my house and ask me if I'm willing to serve in the calling. And since my husband is not a member they want to know if its okay with him that I serve in this specific calling. Sometimes they say it might be a conflict within the family when you serve in certain callings.Of course I always accept and tell them that my husband supports my decision in serving in the church.

Only in one occasion he wasn't comfortable with me serving as a Sunday school secretary, he had met the Sunday school president and thought that he just wanted to have me as "his" secretary, which I thought it was dumb. But I respected his feelings on this and the bishop thought that it would be a good idea if I didn't serve in that calling. I was later called to work in the primary.

[BenRaines]

I never extended a calling to someone where I didn't sit with them and ask them about how their family was how things were going in their life, what other obligations they had, etc. before extending a calling.

A couple of weeks ago our Bishop came over to extend callings to my wife and I, we are in a new ward. Before he started I said there is something I need to tell you first. I was going to be working out of town three weeks at a time for the next couple of months. He said "Ok well we have a calling for your wife.".

Still haven't had to turn one down.

Ben Raines