sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Ok so I need some advice....for anyone that didn't read my last thread....I was going to get married this month and he decided against it that he needs space and time. He has moved out completely and took his belongings. I have received a blessing and feel stronger for it. Here's the problems and I need help and advice to start fixing it. He wanted me to be stay at home so I haven't worked for 8 months. In order to facilitate this I used my 401K and my savings to get all debts (mine and his) paid off. We also used some of the food storage during Christmas when it got tight due to unexpected incidences. He left and took the paycheck and left me in the house we are renting. He left me $50 and the car. Rent is due, water and electric is also due...They have given me a weeks extension before they turn it off. Food isn't an issue, as I haven't eaten in 2 days, so I have enough until I can start work and come up with something. The cars registration just ran out and it has no insurance. The hard problem for me is that I am truly lonely. Normally we spoke multiple times through the day, I have just started to go back to church a few weeks ago so I don't know anyone yet. I don't know what to do about any of this. I have submitted multiple applications for jobs but its getting really hard to find work here. I will not stop trying though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Go to your Bishop. He will make sure you are not hungry and perhaps be able to help more. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I have food, I just cant eat....I feel bad going to the bishop because I have inactive so long and now I go back about a month ago and then this happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I have food, I just cant eat....I feel bad going to the bishop because I have inactive so long and now I go back about a month ago and then this happens.It's important to realize that the Bishop isn't called as a steward over all the active members of the ward, or even the inactive members. He is called as a steward over all those who live within the ward boundaries. The fact that you are a member at all is a big plus.It sounds like you're probably hurting because this sounds like a big step back in your relationship, but I gotta say...it sounds like he took serious financial advantage of you. I don't know you, I don't know him, I don't know your history, but it really sounds like you got played. (Not trying to be mean or hurtful...just calling it like I see it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I have food, I just cant eat....I feel bad going to the bishop because I have inactive so long and now I go back about a month ago and then this happens. He might even help you and give you a work assignment.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 , but I gotta say...it sounds like he took serious financial advantage of you. I don't know you, I don't know him, I don't know your history, but it really sounds like you got played. (Not trying to be mean or hurtful...just calling it like I see it.)I kinda have been wondering that todayHe might even help you and give you a work assignment...I would like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lestertheemt Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 sometime the hardest thing we can do is to ask for help...............I know it is for me. go to your Bishop....that is why he is there. he can open doors for you! good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisajo Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 would you feel more comfortable going to the relief socitey president? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I dont know the relief society president yet. I spoke with the ward mission leader as i had made a connection that I felt I could trust him. Still really nervous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayin Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 (edited) Sakuragirl I understand what heartship you are going threw right now and they are right you need to talk to the bishop as soon as you can. I had been dealing with some things that happen here in my home and I waited and waited to talk to the bishop because of being a new member to the church. But I finally spoke to him and other members and they were able to help me such a blessing. When we dont allow others to help us we end up denying blessings for them as well as for ourself. Please contact him as soon as you can. Pray to our Heavenly Father he knows our needs. Edited February 6, 2009 by Ayin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivy64 Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Sakuragirl, Ive been following your posts... I would have to agree with Wingnut. I am sorry but I think Wingnut is right. Why? Because you said "He left me with $50 and bills..." Typically someone who loves you and cares for you doesn't say "lets get married!" then say "Oh well, your on your own now...." I hear alot of people say their significant other tell them "I need space etc" To me that just means..well..you know I am sorry, I hope things work out Keep praying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Please I need prayers....He just came and took the car and he was so cold and heartless it hurt. I am going through a lot of emotional pain and I am sorry to bother on the site but I have no friends no where to turn too and I am really really scared Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainofGold Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Sakuragirl, I will pray for you. I hope that you realize what a blessing it is that this man is out of your life. He has shown you no compassion and has taken advantage of you. Do you have any family members that you can turn to? Try looking for a roommate so you can share the expenses. Many times you can find other members in the church that are looking a room to rent. I'm glad that you are back at church, you'll see that having a family ward you wont feel lonely. Once your visiting teachers and home teacher get involved you are in good hands. Take care, Rain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Sakuragirl, I will pray for you. I hope that you realize what a blessing it is that this man is out of your life. He has shown you no compassion and has taken advantage of you. Do you have any family members that you can turn to? Try looking for a roommate so you can share the expenses. Many times you can find other members in the church that are looking a room to rent. I'm glad that you are back at church, you'll see that having a family ward you wont feel lonely. Once your visiting teachers and home teacher get involved you are in good hands. Take care, RainYou brought a tear to my eye, thank you. I appreciate the sincere approach and you made me feel truly at home with your comments. This is a hard road I have to tread but I will get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2009 he finally got in contact with me....it seems he believes that I have been mean to him. ex: his family were talking about cleaning bathrooms and I said its not a big deal me and m clean the bathroom. He thought that was me saying that he was my servant etc. and that I was trying to belittle him. With what he was saying I can see where he gets the opinion from. I am so sorry for pouring out my heart when really I should have been self inventorying. I guess I need to do a lot of work on myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 yay...I got offered a job today, its enough to pay my bills and I work mon-Fri so it wont interfere with Church Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prospectmom Posted February 10, 2009 Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 good for you .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainofGold Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Sakuragirl,I am so happy that you found a job. God listens to our prayers. Keep your head up and your faith in God and everything will work out fine.Big hug,Rain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Sakuragirl,I am so happy that you found a job. God listens to our prayers. Keep your head up and your faith in God and everything will work out fine.Big hug,Rainafter this ordeal I am finding myself drawn more to church. I know everyone turns to God when everything goes wrong. I have to say the internal prompting to go to church only weeks before this happened says to me, he knew and he wanted me to find comfort in the gospel. My testimony has grown leaps and bounds due to this. I am grateful for ll the help and advice and prayer. I am grateful for this community that helps people with the gospel most importantly i am grateful for HF and JC. Thank you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichaelPAGuy Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 I am so happy for you. Congratulations. You can only grow stronger because of this problem. I wish you nothing but happiness in your future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Sakuragirl, as things stabilize for you and depending on how much was in your 401(k) and your savings, it might be worth your time to consult a lawyer knowledgeable in family and/or contract law. You might be able to find someone who would take your case on a contingency basis, which would mean you wouldn't have to pay much/any money up front. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 I spent over $20,000 in the last year on his debts etc. He never went without. Now he wont even speak to me, he was the one who told me not to work and that he would love me forever. Now I am feeling burned and that he played me for a fool. What is the chance of this being the case? And right now I feel as if I will never find that eternal partner. I went to YSA last night just to see if I could maybe make friends with some people that way I get to know more individuals and they were all so much younger than me. Am I past my sell by date already? I'll be 29 in less than 2 months. A relationship isn't pressing on my mind at the moment but the thoughts of having kids and finding someone to love when I let myself think on it, drives me nuts. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talisyn Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Silly Sakuragirl, you are eternal, you don't have a sell-by date. Think of this as an opportunity to hack and slash the weeds that have been holding you back from the full blessings of the gospel. I've been sort of in your situation, cept in my case it was a husband who decided life with me being the sole provider for 2 years was soooooo hard so he moved in with a woman with 2 kids. The betrayal, after all the sacrifices you made, is the really stinker. $20k is a large amount of money but consider it a payment for a wiser you. I bet you never again live with someone without the benefit of a prenup, I know I sure won't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jolee65 Posted February 11, 2009 Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 (edited) Wow I do remember your last post about the two of you getting married, im so sorry for all of this and the disappointment you must be feeling. But you do have us and we will help you in anyway that we can, just dont waist your time hunting him down or trying to beg him to come back, now you know what hes made of and its best you found out now. I hope you get some work but if not do you have a girl friend or family?? reading your post up to date why would anyone that loves you treat you like that, the punishment didnt fit the crime, it doesnt matter how big the misunderstanding , that this as a lesson to be learned, he walks and quickly, keep the job no matter what. I know this sounds cold and hard but Im the type that is a helper to all that is around me, and hearing you in that situation made me think of my own daughters and this is what I would tell them, Dont please let him think hes right for acting that way to you and treating you that way. you may need to struggle until you get your first pay check. let us know how your doing even if you stay with him. :) Edited February 11, 2009 by jolee65 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sakuragirl Posted February 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Wow I do remember your last post about the two of you getting married, im so sorry for all of this and the disappointment you must be feeling. But you do have us and we will help you in anyway that we can, just dont waist your time hunting him down or trying to beg him to come back, now you know what hes made of and its best you found out now. I hope you get some work but if not do you have a girl friend or family??reading your post up to date why would anyone that loves you treat you like that, the punishment didnt fit the crime, it doesnt matter how big the misunderstanding , that this as a lesson to be learned, he walks and quickly, keep the job no matter what. I know this sounds cold and hard but Im the type that is a helper to all that is around me, and hearing you in that situation made me think of my own daughters and this is what I would tell them, Dont please let him think hes right for acting that way to you and treating you that way. you may need to struggle until you get your first pay check.let us know how your doing even if you stay with him. :)I am currently over 8000 miles away from family so am trying to meet people here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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