Keeping tabs on kids' computer use

[unixknight]

Ever since my ex lost interest in the church she's been much more lenient on our 3 kids in terms of what they can get away with, morality-wise. One issue is that she doesn't may any attention to what they do with their computers, and each has a computer in their own room, unsupervised.

I am a software developer and I've been working on a program that, once complete, will quietly run in the background of each computer and compile a report for me periodically and send me an E-mail. It will tell me every website the computer has visited, and eventually I might even add the functionality to search things like E-mail and chat logs for possible trouble.

This is, I admit, not allowing them much privacy, but in this day and age, and the fact that they're otherwise unsupervised, I feel it's necessary.

The reason I'm posting this is to let everybody know that if something like this interests you, and you'd like to have it for your kids' computers, let me know and I'll gladly share it with you, free of charge. It will only run on Windows, and you'd need the .NET framework installed but Windows XP and Vista come with that anyway. For those who like to tinker with software or who would just feel more comfortable, I'll also supply the source code as freeware. (It's written in C#)

At this point it's not finished, but the component that scans all Internet Explorer files works, and the E-mail feature is near completion.

MODS: I apologize, I meant to post this under Parenting. If someone would be so kind as to move it, I'll be very grateful.

Edited March 1, 2009 by unixknight
Wrong board

[Wingnut]

My parents have a program that sounds similar to yours. They use it for my 16-year-old brother. It's called "Covenant Eyes." It sends a weekly report with every website visited, how long the visit was, and flags any and all "questionable" content. I think it's by an LDS programmer, because I think the questionability is based on LDS standards. Their program works with Firefox, too.

[pam]

I recently installed a program called webroot. The administrator can put in key words that filter out searches. It also takes pictures when someone tries to search for anything with those key words. Let's me see everything that anyone has been doing on my computer.

[mightynancy]

I'd love that, but my son uses Safari (for Windows), not Explorer.

[unixknight]

Eventually I want to get it to where it works on all browsers. At the moment I'm working on the Firefox part.

[tanuvasamama]

i would sure be interested...

[hordak]

You might want to consult an attorney. On your home computer you can limit/ spy on them all you want but if your talking about spyware that monitors them at the ex wifes home you could have a whole new set of problems.

[unixknight]

Yeah I've already looked into that. It can be done without breaking laws.

[Captain_Curmudgeon]

This thread makes me sad. I can sympathize with your various situations but as a parenting method this is very sad.

[pam]

Sad in what way? Sad that it's come to having to do something like this or sad that we would choose to parent in this way?

[mightynancy]

This thread makes me sad. I can sympathize with your various situations but as a parenting method this is very sad.

I tell my kids to put their helmets on before they go out biking...but I still look out the window to make sure they've obeyed. By this time, they are already in the street. If I find they haven't complied, I call them back in to get the helmets on.

With the computer, we have it in a public area of the house. My son gets home a few minutes before I do...if he must be online, I check up on his activity. When I'm home and he's online, I regularly walk by to see what he's looking at.

How is it sad to instruct, then check up on the kids? I don't get it...please explain, Captain! Or are you sad about the differing values in the kids' two homes?

[LittleWyvern]

I tell my kids to put their helmets on before they go out biking...but I still look out the window to make sure they've obeyed. By this time, they are already in the street. If I find they haven't complied, I call them back in to get the helmets on.

Using your analogy, logging every email, website, and instant message is like not only checking on your children, but following them everywhere you go, standing right next to them at all times no matter what they do or how trustworthy they've proved themselves to be, and watching to see if they do anything wrong. I think a better solution for unixknight's program would be to only log instant messages, emails, and websites that match filters for questionable content. This would make your job easier, regardless (a lot less fluff to go through unless you're really good at regexes).

[RachelleDrew]

I'm confused here, are you putting this system on the computers in your ex-wife's house?

How is this NOT illegal?

[mightynancy]

No, LilWy, it's checking up after the fact. If your analogy were correct, I'd be riding on the bikes, holding the helmet atop wee heads.

[LittleWyvern]

No, LilWy, it's checking up after the fact. If your analogy were correct, I'd be riding on the bikes, holding the helmet atop wee heads.

That's true in a sense, but it's still an always-watching-and-waiting scenario, no matter how indirectly.

[Gwen]

will the kids know this system is in place?

[mightynancy]

LilWy, it's part of being a parent. I can't effectively tell them "Wash your hands," or "If you're on wheels, you must have a helmet on your head!" or "Be careful on the Internet" just one time and have it stick. It's relentless as much for me as it is for them. While they are under my stewardship, it is my obligation to check up on them and help them correct their course when necessary.

[RachelleDrew]

LilWy, it's part of being a parent. I can't effectively tell them "Wash your hands," or "If you're on wheels, you must have a helmet on your head!" or "Be careful on the Internet" just one time and have it stick. It's relentless as much for me as it is for them. While they are under my stewardship, it is my obligation to check up on them and help them correct their course when necessary.

I think we all get that.

But putting a big brother system in the computers at your ex wife's house is nuts. I still want someone to explain to me how it's not illegal.

[mightynancy]

Well, I don't have an ex-wife, so I wouldn't know.

[Gwen]

if the computers belong to the kids, are only used by the kids and they have equal parenting rights then i'd think he does have the right (just like any other parent). he would not have a right to put something like that on the wife's computer or "the family computer" at her house.

[LittleWyvern]

LilWy, it's part of being a parent.

Ha, you've trumped me with just that!

I suppose you're right, and I'll defer posting here for the time being.

[unixknight]

I think we all get that.

But putting a big brother system in the computers at your ex wife's house is nuts. I still want someone to explain to me how it's not illegal.

Simple. First, the Ex will be aware. Since we're the parents, and they're the kids, they only have rights through us, the parents. We can monitor their computers any way we see fit.

[Fiannan]

This is really an interesting issue. For some of us it irks us to think of spying but for others it's a question of protecting one's child.

The way I see it though, if one has cable TV one can opt out of stations that contain porn -- I really wanted to subscribe to a movie station when my wife and I changed our cable service but the movie station plays explicite porn from mid-night to 1:30am. Why worry about what the little ones are doing if they wake up in the middle of the night and happen to turn the TV on?

The computer is a whole different story. One can access anything, and I mean that quite literally, on the net (much of it for free). Within 5 seconds (the time it would take to google the term and find the links) you can watch an outstanding LDS video like Joseph, Prophet of the Restoration or you can watch an Islamic terrorist group behead a kdnapped victim. You can look up interesting graphics of the human body that only a while back were only available at medical schools or you can view Japanese porn sites that might make Hugh Hefner blush. There is absolutely no way you can block sites -- I mean, as I have stated earlier you can bypass most net censoring devices by typing in a foreign word to get to porn sites from that country. That's just one of the simplest.

A few days ago I was talking to a non-member guy who was involved in an activity along with my son. The teen knows I am LDS and asked if it was proper for the LDS girl who he went out with for a first date to have wanted to spend hours making out in her car. I merely asked him how he would feel if he had a 17 year old daughter doing that sort of thing and he nodded and completely understood the innapropriatness of the action without too much lecture. Ask your sons and daughters how they would feel if a family member or close friend was starring in a porn video on the net and how that would make them feel. If they have much empathy that might be enough to make them question looking at such things and get rid of the need to monitor them all the time.

[unixknight]

So far it hasn't become much of a problem. My younger son has seen it but as far as I know it hasn't happened again. I'm looking at this from a prevention angle.

On the other hand, if there IS a problem, then this would be a pretty good way to find out.

The thing is, at this age, privacy is a privilege, not a right. I am personally responsible for the well being of those kids whether they live with me or not.

[Hemidakota]

Ever since my ex lost interest in the church she's been much more lenient on our 3 kids in terms of what they can get away with, morality-wise. One issue is that she doesn't may any attention to what they do with their computers, and each has a computer in their own room, unsupervised.

I am a software developer and I've been working on a program that, once complete, will quietly run in the background of each computer and compile a report for me periodically and send me an E-mail. It will tell me every website the computer has visited, and eventually I might even add the functionality to search things like E-mail and chat logs for possible trouble.

This is, I admit, not allowing them much privacy, but in this day and age, and the fact that they're otherwise unsupervised, I feel it's necessary.

The reason I'm posting this is to let everybody know that if something like this interests you, and you'd like to have it for your kids' computers, let me know and I'll gladly share it with you, free of charge. It will only run on Windows, and you'd need the .NET framework installed but Windows XP and Vista come with that anyway. For those who like to tinker with software or who would just feel more comfortable, I'll also supply the source code as freeware. (It's written in C#)

At this point it's not finished, but the component that scans all Internet Explorer files works, and the E-mail feature is near completion.

MODS: I apologize, I meant to post this under Parenting. If someone would be so kind as to move it, I'll be very grateful.

When you purchase the latest NetGear 'N' router, it has the same logging status and e-mail alerts.