Does anyone else think this is unacceptable?

[WillowTheWhisp]

My daughter attends a school here in the UK where, like most schools they wear a uniform.

My daughter is 14.

Yesterday was 'World Book Day' and instead of having lessons they could read all day in the school library.

For this privilege they had to pay £3.00.

They were also required to wear their pyjamas.

It is this last point which I'm having trouble with. My daughter wears her pyjamas in bed for sleeping. I do not consider it appropriate for her to wear them in school. She wore her uniform to school and then changed into a sweatshirt top and a pair of combat pants to join the class in the library to read her books.

She was told she was dressed inappropriately and that she could change back into uniform and go and do normal lessons.

I am disgusted that dressing decently is classed as inappropriate and wearing pyjamas (some of which according to my daughter were very skimpy and provocative) is regarded as more acceptable for teenage girls in a mixed gender school.

When my daughter came home last night she was upset because the teacher had told her off for not wearing pyjamas. When I rang the school this morning and spoke to the teacher she said I was the only one who had objected and ased if I don't 'slob around the house' reading before I get dressed. As a matter of fact I don't (I was up at 5am, showered and dressed and put some washing on before I sat down to read) but even if I did there is a difference between my own home and a public place. I wouldn't go to the town library in my nightie!

Am I being unreasonable?

I was already disappointed in the school when the headmaster had announced that the new the girls were all 'doing it' and should all have a chlamydia test.

Edited March 6, 2009 by WillowTheWhisp

[Fiannan]

My daughter attends a school here in the UK where, like most schools they wear a uniform.

My daughter is 14.

Yesterday was 'World Book Day' and instead of having lessons they could read all day in the school library.

For this privilege they had to pay £3.00.

They were also required to wear their pyjamas.

It is this last point which I'm having trouble with. My daughter wears her pyjamas in bed for sleeping. I do not consider it appropriate for her to wear them in school. She wore her uniform to school and then changed into a sweatshirt top and a pair of combat pants to join the class in the library to read her books.

She was told she was dressed inappropriately and that she could change back into uniform and go and do normal lessons.

I am disgusted that dressing decently is classed as inappropriate and wearing pyjamas (some of which according to my daughter were very skimpy and provocative) is regarded as more acceptable for teenage girls in a mixed gender school.

When my daughter came home last night she was upset because the teacher had told her off for not wearing pyjamas. When I rang the school this morning and spoke to the teacher she said I was the only one who had objected and ased if I don't 'slob around the house' reading before I get dressed. As a matter of fact I don't (I was up at 5am, showered and dressed and put some washing on before I sat down to read) but even if I did there is a difference between my own home and a public place. I wouldn't go to the town library in my nightie!

Am I being unreasonable?

I was already disappointed in the school when the headmaster had announced that the new the girls were all 'doing it' and should all have a chlamydia test.

Don't believe for a moment you were the only parent that objected. I took an education class in college that related to my major and the professor teaching the lesson suggested that one popular way to head off a parent who objected to sometng in your lessons was to lie and tell them that they are the only ones who seem to have found the thing in question objectionable. This makes the parent feel like they are odd in some way.

I heard that journalists do the same thing so I put it to the test a few years back when an article with false information appeared about the LDS church in my local newspaper. I and several friends decided to call the writer of the article and object. I was there when one of my friends placed a call. The next day I called and at the end, after the journalist admitted her article was indeed full of incorrect information, I casually asked if anyone else had called to object and she said that absolutely nobody else had called her.

[Elgama]

I was already disappointed in the school when the headmaster had announced that the new the girls were all 'doing it' and should all have a chlamydia test

This I would have objected to!!!!!

OK for me its not an issue at all there are PJ parties all over the place right now as its world Bed Month and Comic Relief Parties are using it. We had them at school when I was growing up (schools with full school uniform) seem to remember thats how the school raised the money for the first Comic Relief. I can actually see you being the only parent objecting as I remember even the Muslim kids adapted things for the day.

Last night we went to Rainbows, along with pillows and cuddlies, my daughter had her High School Musical PJs and Slippers, and my son was in his Sportacus PJs. And I had my PJs on - nothing indecent about the PJs we have they cover everything... of course some girls would wear skimpier than others, but that is individual family choice. Also why couldn't she just wear comfy trousers and a Tshirt? If I had been a teacher in that situation I would have found combats too far removed from the spirit of the day.

TBH this isn't meant as condemnation as such but if myself or my Mum had objected to something we would have phoned the school to explain BEFORE the event not after rather than our child take the flack for our decision. And it is quite right if you object to the decision and have no compromise ready and agreed then the choice should be to join in or wear uniform - its how the schools I have attended have always done it

We will be getting on the bus and going to another PJ party on Tuesday - daughter is wearing her Stephanie ones and her wig and is really excited, Gabriel will be Sportacus again. Not sure what I will be wearing may just be a tracksuit. But again they are as well covered as they would be going swimming in a tracksuit, will be wearing underwear underneath and coats on top until we get there etc oh and of course their red noses.

My own recollection is of a day of fun nothing sinister or sexual or inappropriate, the fun was being allowed to do somthing a bit unconventional

-Charley

Edited March 6, 2009 by Elgama

[hordak]

I think is is absurd they told her off for not wearing the PJs. Did they have some definition of what PJs are?

As for wearing them to school. Here in the states (at least at my school) we had spirt week before home coming and one of the days was always pajama day.(you wear PJs to school) We also had "lock ins" where all the student come and spend the night at the school in PJs and what not.

Is your problem that pjs are too reveling or that is it because it's slobbing around?

I would say it it's the first i can see your point. If it is the latter I would say lighten up (in a kind non judgmental way) life isn't about trying to impress others especially in your appearance.

My 2 cents

[WillowTheWhisp]

Oh, let me explain. I only phoned the school after because it was only after that I realised there was a problem. My daughter had (wrongly as it turned out) assumed that because in past years this World Book Day event had simply been a normal non-uniform day that when the teacher had said "come in your PJs" that it had been an option, not compulsory. So she chose her 'non-uniform' which had been acceptable at previous non uniform events. Her combats are her 'comfy trousers'. The only other trousers she has are jeans and her school uniform. Why the big difference between a sweatshirt and a t-shirt? A t-shirt and comfy trousers would have been equally unacceptable to the teacher who wanted them all to be dressed as if for bed. Dressing for bed to me does not seem like an appropriate way to dress in public.

I really am perplexed at this idea that it's OK to wear bed clothes for a public party. I know some teenage girls go out clubbing in their bra and knickers but personally I'm not OK with that either. Just because it's done by 99.9% of the population doesn't make it OK for my daughter to do, IMO they look like prostitutes.

No, I have no objection to them 'slobbing around' on a casual day which is meant to be exactly that, a day off from normal school activity. My objection is that PJs are for bed and not for outdoor wear in our family. Yes, they are too revealing, they provoke sexual interest by boys. She did wear caual slobbing around clothing but that was not good enough for the teacher.

Edited March 6, 2009 by WillowTheWhisp

[Fiannan]

Oh, let me explain. I only phoned the school after because it was only after that I realised there was a problem. My daughter had (wrongly as it turned out) assumed that because in past years this World Book Day event had simply been a normal non-uniform day that when the teacher had said "come in your PJs" that it had been an option, not compulsory. So she chose her 'non-uniform' which had been acceptable at previous non uniform events. Her combats are her 'comfy trousers'. The only other trousers she has are jeans and her school uniform. Why the big difference between a sweatshirt and a t-shirt? A t-shirt and comfy trousers would have been equally unacceptable to the teacher who wanted them all to be dressed as if for bed. Dressing for bed to me does not seem like an appropriate way to dress in public.

I really am perplexed at this idea that it's OK to wear bed clothes for a public party. I know some teenage girls go out clubbing in their bra and knickers but personally I'm not OK with that either. Just because it's done by 99.9% of the population doesn't make it OK for my daughter to do, IMO they look like prostitutes.

No, I have no objection to them 'slobbing around' on a casual day which is meant to be exactly that, a day off from normal school activity. My objection is that PJs are for bed and not for outdoor wear in our family. Yes, they are too revealing, they provoke sexual interest by boys. She did wear caual slobbing around clothing but that was not good enough for the teacher.

Agreed, but at least when a woman goes out clubbing she is making a choice as to what to wear while the school is a mini feudal state and thus if it believes it can force young people to wear things that are against the values of the parents then one can see why your ancestors rebelled against the feudal system -- it's immoral to force someone to violate their morality.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Well it seems like there's only you and I think so Fiannan. I'm really fighting a losing battle if other LDS parents think it's OK to wear PJs for school in a mixed sex school.

[hordak]

Well it seems like there's only you and I think so Fiannan. I'm really fighting a losing battle if other LDS parents think it's OK to wear PJs for school in a mixed sex school.

If they didn't define what PJs are you have every right to be upset. After all how do they know what your daughter wears to bed.

As to wearing them to school we had dress code about what body parts needed to be covered and what language or advertisement could be on your clothes and on pj days these rules were still in play.

I see no problem in wearing bed clothes to a public event as long as they cover the same parts that day clothes do.Then again i make trips to the store in a robe (with sweat pants underneath) and slippers.

Thinking about it the PJs worn to Lock ins covered more skin then regular clothes for the most part.

Edited March 6, 2009 by hordak

[Ayin]

I am in the USA and kids here are given the choice on spirit week and such to wear pjs and many schools allow kids to wear Pj pants to school normal days but not all the time. As a parent you have a right to be uspet about what happen and it is your right to voice your opinion. If you feel it is not proper but your daughter wearing comfortable outfit she should not have been singled out and the teacher and head master in my opinion owes you both an apology. There are some things that do happen in schools that I dont think are right and when that happens i let it be known. We have to stand up for what is right and because of how we see things doesnt mean we are wrong. Did they ever think your daughter might not have ben comfortable in her PJ in public? And as someone pointed out what was there view of PJ. they could have opened themselves up for even a bigger problem if something would have happen to one of the girls for wearing skimpy PJs

I would go above the Headmaster in this manner.

[Fiannan]

Well it seems like there's only you and I think so Fiannan. I'm really fighting a losing battle if other LDS parents think it's OK to wear PJs for school in a mixed sex school.

To me it's an issue of choice and the school is denying you and your child the right to exercise your beliefs. And if it is compulsory to attend school then choice should not be taken away -- and with younger ages I think it's even more important -- besides, if some of the girls and boys are wearing provocative clothing then I might question the motivations of the faculty and administrators of your school for such an event.

As for college then that's a different story. I know it's trendy in upper class colleges in England for there to be Saturday naked parties, and the British do have an interesting reputation for the ways they dress and behave at clubs. However, these are not manditory events and they involve adults.

[miztrniceguy]

i did not know until i picked my daughter up from school that yesterday was pj day. we have let her wear pjs in the past on pj day. She is in kindergarten.

[Elgama]

ok then I would complain not about the PJ day but the fact the parents did not get a letter home explaining it. As a teen most of us wore leggings and tshirts to bed which is why I suggested it, jeans and combats not.

But your daughter did get the message wrong - did other children get confused? if she was not paying attention then it is her fault you didn't get the option to object

-Charley

Edited March 6, 2009 by Elgama

[Wingnut]

I don't see how they can force your child to wear pajamas, especially if she's attending an event/activity for which she is paying. However, I also don't see anything wrong with making a special day "pajamas optional," provided there are strict guidelines for what can and cannot be worn. My high school used to do "Spirit Week" leading up to Homecoming, and each day of the week was a different theme: black and red day (school colors), clash day, inside out day, etc. One year, I remember having a pajama day, but I also remember there was a lot of hesitation from teachers and administrators to allow it, and they did so only with strict guidelines laid out and announced each time the theme was announced. We didn't have any modesty problems.

[Hemidakota]

My daughter attends a school here in the UK where, like most schools they wear a uniform.

My daughter is 14.

Yesterday was 'World Book Day' and instead of having lessons they could read all day in the school library.

For this privilege they had to pay £3.00.

They were also required to wear their pyjamas.

It is this last point which I'm having trouble with. My daughter wears her pyjamas in bed for sleeping. I do not consider it appropriate for her to wear them in school. She wore her uniform to school and then changed into a sweatshirt top and a pair of combat pants to join the class in the library to read her books.

She was told she was dressed inappropriately and that she could change back into uniform and go and do normal lessons.

I am disgusted that dressing decently is classed as inappropriate and wearing pyjamas (some of which according to my daughter were very skimpy and provocative) is regarded as more acceptable for teenage girls in a mixed gender school.

When my daughter came home last night she was upset because the teacher had told her off for not wearing pyjamas. When I rang the school this morning and spoke to the teacher she said I was the only one who had objected and ased if I don't 'slob around the house' reading before I get dressed. As a matter of fact I don't (I was up at 5am, showered and dressed and put some washing on before I sat down to read) but even if I did there is a difference between my own home and a public place. I wouldn't go to the town library in my nightie!

Am I being unreasonable?

I was already disappointed in the school when the headmaster had announced that the new the girls were all 'doing it' and should all have a chlamydia test.

Things have changed since I attended school in England. I always like the uniforms and how it kept us equally even, especially those who are considered poor among us, with a standard dress code. Do they still have morning masses in the gym?

You are not being reasonable. As a parent, I would also be concerned to have my daughters show up to school in her PJs.

[aranyborju]

No, not unreasonable. I don't think that it is wrong to have a day for more "comfortable" attire, but there should still be standards. You are absolutely correct.

When I was in Intermediate school the band had a sleep-over at the school, and we were encouraged to wear PJs and enjoy the relaxed atmosphere, but our jammies still had to meet the standard dress code set up by our school (no lingerie, boxer shorts, etc.).

Also, not to make light of your situation, but hopefully none of the students showed up to World Book Day J-Bird style, as some people are known to sleep in the buff.

[Lolgirl]

We have never had a day like that here.

Once when I was young,we had one day for just our grade where we wore pj's but we were all about 7 and we had to wear appropriate pj's.I agree with WillowtheWhisp.Pj's are what you choose them to be.No one tells you how to dress for bed.The school should have buckled down on the dress code for the pj's.

[jolee65]

Telling me im the only one , well is this a popularity contest or a institution for learning??

there breeding followers....lol

[Guest missingsomething]

My thoughts:

1) What is their definition of PJs... I dont sleep in "pjs" - in the winter i sleep in sweats. I would require the school apologize.

2) Having said this... if pj's are not modest then whether its in the home or in the school - they are still not modest and should be avoided. Did she really have no PJs that would have been ok or any clothes that could have passed as pj's such as sweats?

3) it doesnt matter if you are the only person that objects - they should not have handled it that way - especially when they were not clear in their definition of what makes a PJ.

Go get em!

[WillowTheWhisp]

In answer to your point #2 the clothes she actually did wear were casual trousers and a sweatshirt top so they could have been something she could have slept in and probably would sleep in if we were camping in chilly weather.

[Maureen]

Am I being unreasonable?

No, not at all. You should never be forced to do something you feel uncomfortable about.

[RachelleDrew]

I think WtW has a much different definition of the word pj than a couple of us do. When I think of pj's I think of flannel and fleece pj's that cover up the same amount of skin that a sacrament meeting outfit would.

Maybe she is thinking more along the lines of a neglige? That would of course be inappropriate in my eyes.

[applepansy]

WtW, You have the right to decide how your children dress for school. That is not the school's choice. It is yours. To expect young teen girls to dress in scanty nightwear in public in inappropriate on any day and in any country. The school was wrong to "punish" your daughter for not wearing pajamas.

Here in the US when we talk about Pajama Day's we're talking about ankle length flannel or knit pants with Tshirts or Tank tops. (My daughter wore a Tshirt, tank tops do not have sleeves.) My daughter went to public school.

If I had been treated as you have been and as your daughter has been, I'd be very angry. After the answer you received I would be calling the School Board (if your daughter is in a Private School, call the owners or Chairman of the Board.)

If we don't stand up for our values and demand our children be respected for their beliefs we're going to lose our religious rights.

applepansy

[jadams_4040]

My daughter attends a school here in the UK where, like most schools they wear a uniform.

My daughter is 14.

Yesterday was 'World Book Day' and instead of having lessons they could read all day in the school library.

For this privilege they had to pay £3.00.

They were also required to wear their pyjamas.

It is this last point which I'm having trouble with. My daughter wears her pyjamas in bed for sleeping. I do not consider it appropriate for her to wear them in school. She wore her uniform to school and then changed into a sweatshirt top and a pair of combat pants to join the class in the library to read her books.

She was told she was dressed inappropriately and that she could change back into uniform and go and do normal lessons.

I am disgusted that dressing decently is classed as inappropriate and wearing pyjamas (some of which according to my daughter were very skimpy and provocative) is regarded as more acceptable for teenage girls in a mixed gender school.

When my daughter came home last night she was upset because the teacher had told her off for not wearing pyjamas. When I rang the school this morning and spoke to the teacher she said I was the only one who had objected and ased if I don't 'slob around the house' reading before I get dressed. As a matter of fact I don't (I was up at 5am, showered and dressed and put some washing on before I sat down to read) but even if I did there is a difference between my own home and a public place. I wouldn't go to the town library in my nightie!

Am I being unreasonable?

I was already disappointed in the school when the headmaster had announced that the new the girls were all 'doing it' and should all have a chlamydia test.

Are you absolutely positive there is not some sort of misscomunication going on?

[Guest SisterofJared]

Wearing PJs everywhere has become quite a custom in the US.... I have adult daughters who wear them to the store or where ever they want. Of course, their PJs are basically full trousers and T shirts.... completely modest. At first I was surprised, but opening my eyes I see it is indeed a fashion, and it is completely modest, much more so than many "clothes" people wear today. So it has become one of those non-issues to me.

However, that fact that the school would try and COMPEL a student to wear PJs to school is utterly and totally unacceptable. Besides her uniform, any other dress on a special day should be 100% optional. The school was WAY out of line!

SoJ

[Elgama]

I think WtW has a much different definition of the word pj than a couple of us do. When I think of pj's I think of flannel and fleece pj's that cover up the same amount of skin that a sacrament meeting outfit would.

Maybe she is thinking more along the lines of a neglige? That would of course be inappropriate in my eyes.

when I heard PJ day this is what I assumed - I do think a letter should have been sent home before the event/

Is your daughter good at handing over letters from school? I know my Mum used to search my bag, blazer and any other pockets for them. If they didn't need signing I didn't bother

-Charley