My Thoughts

[ceeboos_boss]

I'm sure I will be attacked for this one, but here it goes...

As I'm sure some of you know I am not LDS so I do not know much about your beliefs and the ones I do know I'm not so certain I agree with and That's OK I've just learned to respect them and move a long.

But this topic has came up before about husbands watching porn and everyone gets up set and offended and I don't understand that.

How does it happen that you Catch an adult man doing something? He is an adult, in his own home! right?

Look, I know watching porn is a sin but so are many other things and I just don't see why This treated so differently. although biblical speaking I know its wrong,personal I have no problem with it.I look at it this way,If your in the privacy of your own home with or with out your spouse I don't think there's anything wrong with watching a little porn.

Everyone thinks its so awful and most woman feel offended and almost cheated on but that's the thing- that's not it all in my opinion,All it is, is watching porn nothing more nothing less.

[beefche]

I think I understand what you're saying, cb. I've never been married, so perhaps that colors my thinking (I'm sure it does). Although I do think porn is sinful and should not be happening and I would work with my husband to make certain he doesn't watch/look at it, I honestly don't understand the women who are devestated by it. I don't understand their feelings of betrayal and horror. I'm not saying that they shouldn't feel that way, simply I don't understand it. And when I try to imagine being married and finding out that my husband watched porn, I don't get the same feelings (or at least to that extent).

Having said that, I still think porn is a huge error and should be dwelt with immediately. It is insidious and damaging. There are others on this site who would be in a better position to explain why it is so evil.

[pam]

I think the feelings of devastation and betrayal come from knowing what the Church' stance is on pornography. Knowing your home should be filled with uplifting things not things that could tear you down spiritually.

For example. You have a couple. The goal is to honor the covenants they made in marriage. Not only here on earth but eternally. The wife or the husband is found watching porn. I can see how this would affect the other spouse. You all of a sudden feel that both are not on the same track with the same eternal goals and perspectives.

Plus just the human nature side of it. That the one spouse would feel that he/she is not providing enough of what the other spouse needs. Therefore he/she has to turn to porn.

[ceeboos_boss]

I agree with the first part of your post.

I never understood how a spouse could feel they are not providing enough for the other if he or she watch porn.

In that case It doesnt seem like the marriage has much of a foundation to start with, and its not really the porn watching thats the problem.

Thank you for your input!

[bytor2112]

Let's be clear....pornography is a sin on many levels. Not only are the actors glorifying sexual transgression, they are recording for all to see. It is a seedy business and destroys the lives of all involved in the making of these films.

The pernicious nature of pornography is that people become addicted to viewing it. Perhaps because it is taboo. When I say people, I mean children, teens and adults. It does things to the brain over time that may take years to undo.

[bytor2112]

I agree with the first part of your post.

I never understood how a spouse could feel they are not providing enough for the other if he or she watch porn.

In that case It doesnt seem like the marriage has much of a foundation to start with, and its not really the porn watching thats the problem.

Thank you for your input!

Well, let's imagine that a woman that has had a few kids and is now in her late forties or early fifties finds her husband watching adult films with much younger women doing things that perhaps he hasn't shown interest in for a few years? I think that could lead one to believe that the husband isn't to happy with the wife, no?

[bytor2112]

Final comment......if we are truly disciples of Jesus Christ, we will not want to view this type of material.Indeed we should find it repulsive. We understand and feel bad for the actors, because they are our brothers and sisters and are all children of God....here for the same purpose as all of us are....to return to God.

Pornography is a great tool of the master deceiver.......

[ceeboos_boss]

Well, let's imagine that a woman that has had a few kids and is now in her late forties or early fifties finds her husband watching adult films with much younger women doing things that perhaps he hasn't shown interest in for a few years? I think that could lead one to believe that the husband isn't to happy with the wife, no?

No, I dont think that all. I think you just gave an example of 50% of people in the world.

There will always be someone younger and smaller in size so what are we to do close our eyes?

Porn is what you make of it. If you see it as dirty and evil then it will be,but if you see it as somthing maybe a couple or a single adult can enjoy then more power to'em;)

[beefche]

CB, there is a scripture (I think it's in Matthew--I'm too lazy to look it up) where Jesus says, "If you look at a woman in lust, you've committed adultery." Now, of course if that woman is your wife, then it's not adultery. But as a single woman if I look at porno, then that is promoting and encouraging lustful thoughts for someone who is not my husband. Perhaps one look wouldn't do that...but porn isn't designed to promoke one look--it's designed to promote addiction. So, although I understand you mean that porn can be used a tool to enhance a couple's sexual life, I think that Jesus wouldn't approve as it's looking at other women/men in lust--even if you use that lust on your spouse. I truly believe Jesus wants us to control the lust in our life, rather than lust controlling us.

[pam]

We as LDS members are taught to try and keep our thoughts clean and pure. It's extremely difficult granted.

I found a quote by Dallin H. Oaks. He is one of our General Authorities.

“Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won’t vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life.” 1

[pam]

I think you just gave an example of 50% of people in the world.

50% of the people in the world is still A LOT of people.

[ceeboos_boss]

CB, there is a scripture (I think it's in Matthew--I'm too lazy to look it up) where Jesus says, "If you look at a woman in lust, you've committed adultery." Now, of course if that woman is your wife, then it's not adultery. But as a single woman if I look at porno, then that is promoting and encouraging lustful thoughts for someone who is not my husband. Perhaps one look wouldn't do that...but porn isn't designed to promoke one look--it's designed to promote addiction. So, although I understand you mean that porn can be used a tool to enhance a couple's sexual life, I think that Jesus wouldn't approve as it's looking at other women/men in lust--even if you use that lust on your spouse. I truly believe Jesus wants us to control the lust in our life, rather than lust controlling us.

I understand what your saying:)

Here is a serious question for you and bytor.... If the bible says somethings a sin and I do believe in the bible then what happens if you dont agree with it?

[FunkyTown]

I'm sure I will be attacked for this one, but here it goes...

As I'm sure some of you know I am not LDS so I do not know much about your beliefs and the ones I do know I'm not so certain I agree with and That's OK I've just learned to respect them and move a long.

But this topic has came up before about husbands watching porn and everyone gets up set and offended and I don't understand that.

How does it happen that you Catch an adult man doing something? He is an adult, in his own home! right?

Look, I know watching porn is a sin but so are many other things and I just don't see why This treated so differently. although biblical speaking I know its wrong,personal I have no problem with it.I look at it this way,If your in the privacy of your own home with or with out your spouse I don't think there's anything wrong with watching a little porn.

Everyone thinks its so awful and most woman feel offended and almost cheated on but that's the thing- that's not it all in my opinion,All it is, is watching porn nothing more nothing less.

Phew! I was worried for a few moments that I was the only one who wouldn't be devastated by finding out my partner were browsing those types of things.

Ultimately, I would worry: It does take away from the humanity of sexuality and makes the other partner just a tool for your own pleasure. When people are dehumanized, it allows you to detach from them and debases the human side of ourselves. If this happened, I would try to help them stop it. If they failed again and again, I would most likely be unable to maintain a relationship with them, but I wouldn't be devastated.

It seems silly to let someone else's self-hurting sins devastate you. I would react to this the same way I'd react if I found out my wife was a cutter who used self-mutilation as a means to express their hurt feelings.

[bytor2112]

I understand what your saying:)

Here is a serious question for you and bytor.... If the bible says somethings a sin and I do believe in the bible then what happens if you dont agree with it?

You have probably heard this before...natural man is an enemy to God. Or what about this one......Christ said, "if you love me, keep my commandments."

I don't think we can pick and choose which of God's commandments we will obey and still be welcomed into his presence.

Another scripture quote: "for I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments shall be forgiven" (that was from memory, I hope it is word for word).

The key word to me is repentance.......to repent means to change, to have a mighty change of heart, to become like the Savior. If we have truly repented...truly changed and are truly disciples of Christ we will seek to live as he lived.......kind of like the bumper sticker.."what would Jesus do?"

I would prayerfully carefully consider....if it were me, whether or not I can truly live in harmony with the Saviors teachings and enjoy a little sin when I feel like it.

[pam]

Another scripture quote: "for I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments shall be forgiven" (that was from memory, I hope it is word for word).

Very good Bytor. You did it perfectly. D&C 1:31-32

[ceeboos_boss]

Phew! I was worried for a few moments that I was the only one who wouldn't be devastated by finding out my partner were browsing those types of things.

Ultimately, I would worry: It does take away from the humanity of sexuality and makes the other partner just a tool for your own pleasure. When people are dehumanized, it allows you to detach from them and debases the human side of ourselves. If this happened, I would try to help them stop it. If they failed again and again, I would most likely be unable to maintain a relationship with them, but I wouldn't be devastated.

It seems silly to let someone else's self-hurting sins devastate you. I would react to this the same way I'd react if I found out my wife was a cutter who "used self-mutilation as a means to express their hurt feelings.

I dont think it makes your partner a tool at all. What I do think is silly, is when an adult has to be a "closet porn watcher" or has to feel like a child being caught doing something bad.

[FunkyTown]

I dont think it makes your partner a tool at all. What I do think is silly, is when an adult has to be a "closet porn watcher" or has to feel like a child being caught doing something bad.

Well... They are doing something bad. They don't have to act like a child, but they are doing something bad. I'm going to break a 'Correlation is not causation' rule I have, but I'd like to point out that an increase in pornography has directly correlated with an increase in broken families. Is it the cause or effect? I don't know, but it's something to think about.

Oh, and Matthew 5:28 "but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." - Jesus was pretty against it, and I'm going to back him.

[beefche]

Ha! I knew that scripture was in Matthew--thanks Funky.

CB, you bring up a great point. We all have our "favorite" sins. Meaning, each of us struggle with a commandment or 2 from God. Here's how I look at it. God is perfect and He knows everything. If He says something is right, wrong, good, evil, then I'm going to believe Him. So, my job is to get my beliefs in line with my actions and His thoughts.

I can only use myself as an example. Please don't judge me people!!! I have a hard time praying every day. I believe God that is a commandment, it is good, and it is needful. But I struggle with it. I can whip off a 10 second prayer, but that's not a real prayer in my opinion. I just don't see how it has helped me when I was being so diligent--but again, that's my problem. Since I believe Him, I still try to pray fervently every day--some days are better than others. Does this make sense or am I confessing for no reason?

CB, regarding porn, I think I'm just going to trust God that he knows what He's talking about. It is a sinful practice and each of us, whether we believe it or not, would be better off following Him.

edit: I just want you to know that I have had some very powerful experiences with prayer--I do believe it is a gift--I just have difficulty with it when I don't know what to say on a daily basis--that's my struggle.

Edited March 19, 2009 by beefche
my conscience won't let me leave it alone

[pam]

I can only use myself as an example. Please don't judge me people!!! I have a hard time praying every day

Go and sin no more. I agree beefche. We all struggle with certain aspects. It's not that we don't believe..we are not perfect. I couldn't even begin to list the things I struggle with.

[Traveler]

A few of my thoughts:

1. Marriage is a covenant between a man, his wife and G-d. Not only is porn contrary to the covenant one has with their spouse it is contrary to their covenant with G-d.

2. Porn is a form of Idolatry. It is a type of worship that is not acceptable to G-d. In the scriptures we see on several occasions how many in Israel thought they could mix their worship of G-d and frequent the “groves” and temples of Baal – which were in essence pornography. In short Pornography renders one’s worship of G-d heretical and hypocritical.

3. Porn renders the influence of clean and holy spirits ineffective. It is an effective temptation that turns many from seeking, understanding and perceiving the goodness and glory of G-d. To reiterate #2 – included with the indulgence of porn is the illusion that one can also engage in that which is holy without repentance in the pornographic indulgences.

4. If one is not married, porn will prevent a person from developing non selfish attitudes necessary for the sacrifices towards spouse and children. In today’s society it is one of the main reasons that adults enter marriage unprepared for the discipline of marriage and thus causing the marriage to fail and end in divorce.

The Traveler

[Madriglace]

Final comment......if we are truly disciples of Jesus Christ, we will not want to view this type of material.Indeed we should find it repulsive. We understand and feel bad for the actors, because they are our brothers and sisters and are all children of God....here for the same purpose as all of us are....to return to God.

Pornography is a great tool of the master deceiver.......

And what one has seen tends to pop up at really bad times ... like in the middle of church. You sit here trying to take in the what is being said and enjoy the spirit and BANG there it is. At which point a good hymn running through the mind is a big help.

[darrel]

We members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints strive to obey Gods commandments and take our covenants seriously.

The world does not see anything wrong with immoral behavior because they do not understand the workings of God. The family is the core of morality and integrety. Anything that detracts from that is a tool of satan to lead away from God. Anything we take into our body that is impure or unsavory will cause us to drift away from our Father in Heaven.

1 Corinthians 3: 16-17

16. Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelleth in you.

17. If any man defile the temple of God, him will God destroy because the temple of God is Holy which temple ye are.

[Moksha]

Porn is what you make of it. If you see it as dirty and evil then it will be, but if you see it as something maybe a couple or a single adult can enjoy then more power to 'em;)

Mind over porno? Hey, this is the precise type of thinking that can lead to more thinking and we know all about that.