Confused about missionaries

[KatrinaC]

I understand what the role of missionaries are what they do, however I am confused as to what the life of a missionary is like socially.

Is their life revolved around church all day every day? Do they go out to movies or parties with friends? Can they go out on dates with people they meet? Can they ever share their name? Do missionaries want to be friends with people they meet with or simply teach?

I really don't understand, that is all! Thank you!

[FunkyTown]

A Missionary dedicates two years of their life in service: They can not date, they can not go out with friends, they do not share their first name. They wake up early in the morning, study their scriptures, go out and teach and meet people. It's a pretty amazing thing. :)

Do they want to be friends? Well, I still communicate with the Elder who baptized me 7 years ago, but that couldn't happen until they went home. If you're having a crush on a particular missionary(Which is what it sounds like from your posting, because missionary crushes are really common), don't let him know. That's it! :)

[KatrinaC]

I wouldn't say I have a crush. I guess I thought about it, but that is what provoked my question. I wouldn't ever tell him that. I think it is great as well. Just seems really hard.

[FunkyTown]

It's hard, Katrina. I have so much respect for the boys in Ties - Giving up two years of their lives for something they believe in.

Oh, and don't worry too much about it. A lot of people develop crushes on missionaries and it's easy to see why: They care what you think, they're polite, they love all the people around them and they're completely non-threatening. Everyone loves them when they get to know them.

[Churchmouse]

We had a missionary leave our branch and two months later he and a girl from our branch married. Noone ever saw them even talk to each other while he was here. Most missionaries tell people where they are from. It wouldn't be hard to contact one once he returns home. Then you could find if he shares your feelings. Right now all of his time is reserved for doing the Lord's work.

[jolee65]

Gosh how perceptive FT didnt see that in her questions just thought she was investigating.

Yeah, my daughters have had several crushes over the years, and my oldest talks with a few through my space/facebook and there married and have children.

[Mahone]

They can in theory go out with "friends", so long as those friends are potential or new converts and the activity they are doing complies with mission rules e.g. cinema is not allowed. Basically, as long as the outing has a "missionary" purpose to it, they can do it. The same applies for ward activities, they won't normally go unless invited, authorised to by the mission president, or have a potential convert going.

However, dating is completely out of the question. They always have to be in sight of their companion and cannot be alone with a member of the opposite sex. There always has to be another priesthood holder there.

[talisyn]

They can in theory go out with "friends", so long as those friends are potential or new converts and the activity they are doing complies with mission rules e.g. cinema is not allowed. Basically, as long as the outing has a "missionary" purpose to it, they can do it. The same applies for ward activities, they won't normally go unless invited, authorised to by the mission president, or have a potential convert going.

However, dating is completely out of the question. They always have to be in sight of their companion and cannot be alone with a member of the opposite sex. There always has to be another priesthood holder there.

Can they go swimming if it's a ward event? I know they can't on their own....

My home teachers also hold to the rule of 2 priesthood holders when visiting my single self. They're in their 80s, total rocks of righteousness so I know I'd be safe even if they were alone, but there is a huge level of respect for womanhood that shows when they follow that rule.

Best thing about missionaries? They are always wearing 'church clothes' when out in public. I see them in Wal-Mart on Wednesdays wearing suits and dresses and it just looks so cool.

[Wingnut]

They cannot go swimming at all.

Basically, missionaries have no social life.

[talisyn]

They cannot go swimming at all.

Basically, missionaries have no social life.

They can go to Wal-Mart. In my town that is a social event

[Mahone]

My home teachers also hold to the rule of 2 priesthood holders when visiting my single self. They're in their 80s, total rocks of righteousness so I know I'd be safe even if they were alone, but there is a huge level of respect for womanhood that shows when they follow that rule.

Haha, I hate to break it to you, but the rule is there to protect them more than it is to protect the woman. Yes, it is there to protect the woman as well, but the primary purpose is in case the woman takes legal action against them and falsely accusing them of doing something against the law to her while they were there on church business. The third party priesthood holder is there as a witness that nothing actually happened.

Edited March 26, 2009 by Mahone

[talisyn]

Haha, I hate to break it to you, but the rule is there to protect them more than it is to protect the woman. Yes, it is there to protect the woman as well, but the primary purpose is in case the woman takes legal action against them and falsely accusing them of doing something against the law to them while they were there on church business. The third party priesthood holder is there as a witness that nothing actually happened.

lol I knew that. My home teachers are just so gentlemanly they make it seem like it's for my benefit.

[Churchmouse]

They can go to Wal-Mart. In my town that is a social event

Same here. If you haven't seen an old friend for a while, just spend an afternoon in Wall-Mart. They'll show up.

[bytebear]

Missionaries are also not to write to people within their mission. Once they leave an area, they need to move on. They can stay in contact with investigators through the current missionaries, and often a missionary will come back to witness a baptism, but aside from that, they are there to teach the people in the area they are assigned. That is also why they only stay in an area for a short time. They cannot get too attached to a specific ward or branch. I think every returned missionary has a story of an Elder being sent home because he had an inappropriate relationship with a young lady in a former area. We had one missionary in our mission who was calling a young lady after he left the area. Even when he was transfered to the furthest reaches of the mission, she still drove up to try to see him. Well, he was sent home early, and although it sounds bad, he was free to persue that which was more important to him.

[pushka]

We had fun times trying to guess the first names of a couple of missionaries last year..we guessed correctly, eventually.

I wonder what would happen if the woman being taught by 2 Missionaries with a 3rd PH in attendance decided to accuse all three of assaulting her? Surely it would make sense to have an additional female there too? Conversly, it would be easy for the males in tha situation to take advantage of the woman, so still seems a little off to have to have this rule.

[Dravin]

If people asked my first name I gave it*, its not some huge hush hush secret. Only one person I know of insisted on calling me by my first name though (and he was an anti guy living in the same apartment complex as us) most people have enough manners to call you by what you prefer to be called regardless of whether they believe in your religion or not. My biggest problem was usually the other way around, trying to call investigators Brother or Sister last name, don't think I ran acrossed a single person who wanted me to.

* Well, it was half riddle half giving, its a biblical name, usually doesn't take many hints.

[Maureen]

...they do not share their first name...

If people asked my first name I gave it*, its not some huge hush hush secret....My biggest problem was usually the other way around, trying to call investigators Brother or Sister last name, don't think I ran acrossed a single person who wanted me to.

Thank you Dravin! I have asked missionaries their first name and they have answered and don't act like its taboo. And some have called me Sister J* before and I correct them with a smile. And then they ask me about my first name. :)

[Madriglace]

Missionaries have rules that they follow that protect them ... like not using first names helps keep relationships (or at least it should) where they need to be ... cerfew keeps them safe ... a past VT's son went to South Africa (many years ago), one night coming home they heard a big "party" up the street and one elder wanted to go check it out ... the other felt very strongly that they needed to follow the rules so they went in and did what they were to do and when they came out the next morning they found bodies in the street from a riot the night before. When missionaries are in the right spirit and following the rules they are safe. My folks were in Ecuador I think waiting to get on a bus and a man came out of the crowd and told them not to get on the bus because it was n ot safe and they would be robbed ... when they turned to tahnk him he was not there. A mission isn't an easy thing but when done in the proper light it is so worth it. I was prevented from going by ignorant people and I have missed it all my life.

[Guest Alana]

I didn't know they didn't share their first names! I guess I've got some missionaries breaking the rules lol. Just when it comes up, like 'oh my name is Aaron, too' that kind of thing.

Also, them not being alone with women, sometimes that cracks me up. The last time they were over for dinner my husband went to get the food (pizza everytime, my missionary dinners are jinxed if I cook) and they were about to come in when i said 'my husband will be right back.' I almost thought the door jam burned them from how they acted. So we hung out on the porch, in the cold, in the dark... yeah, good times.

[Mahone]

We had fun times trying to guess the first names of a couple of missionaries last year..we guessed correctly, eventually.

I wonder what would happen if the woman being taught by 2 Missionaries with a 3rd PH in attendance decided to accuse all three of assaulting her? Surely it would make sense to have an additional female there too? Conversly, it would be easy for the males in tha situation to take advantage of the woman, so still seems a little off to have to have this rule.

Accusing three people of assault, especially when one of them is not really a friend of the other two, more of an associate, is a lot more difficult than just accusing the two of them. It's three peoples word against one. It's not fool proof, but it has worked in the past.

It's a bit more difficult to get both an extra woman and man to attend whenever there is a single sister being taught. Plus they may feel like they are being a nuisance when two extra people have to attend just because they are single.

[Wingnut]

It's not unallowed to share one's first name as a missionary, it's just generally discouraged. And there's no point to it, either.

About writing people within the mission...some missions vary on the strictness of the rules on this one. In my mission, for example, we were allowed to write to investigators and new converts that we had taught/baptized, even though they were within the mission. My mission president put a lot of trust in us, and kind-of went with the "teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves" idea.

[deseretgov]

I married a girl from my mission(Philippines). She was from an area next to my last area. She was in the district relief society presidency and visit our branch when I first saw her. Now lets see how this factors into the whole missionary thing. It was towards the end of my mission and she came to our branch on sunday. I was conversing with a little kid and and I looked up and saw her talking to some other people. As soon as I saw her it was as if I heard a voice that said, "She's the one." I went and talked to her just to see who she was and that was about it. I only saw her a couple times before going home. A member gave her phone number the night before I left for the mission home.

After returning home I called her and she didn't even remember me. Long story short we went through two and a half years of dating through the internet and getting government paperwork done. During our 2-1/2 year dating period we only spent three months together. We got married Oct 2008.

So I didn't date her or court her while I ws on my mission. But I was attracted to her and thought about her occasionally. But my thinking about her wasn't something that was significant.

If people asked my first name I gave it*, its not some huge hush hush secret. Only one person I know of insisted on calling me by my first name though (and he was an anti guy living in the same apartment complex as us) most people have enough manners to call you by what you prefer to be called regardless of whether they believe in your religion or not. My biggest problem was usually the other way around, trying to call investigators Brother or Sister last name, don't think I ran acrossed a single person who wanted me to.

In the Philippines they use their first names after Brother/Sister instead of last names.

* Well, it was half riddle half giving, its a biblical name, usually doesn't take many hints.

Dravin is a biblical name? hehehe.

[Iggy]

I understand what the role of missionaries are what they do, however I am confused as to what the life of a missionary is like socially.

Is their life revolved around church all day every day?

Yes. They live, breath, see, speak, & do the gospel/mission/church 24/7. That is their job.

Do they go out to movies or parties with friends? Can they go out on dates with people they meet?

No

Can they ever share their name? Do missionaries want to be friends with people they meet with or simply teach?

I really don't understand, that is all! Thank you!

Yes

The only 'socializing' that they do would be at Ward/Stake functions. Such as a Ward Pot Luck. They will have plenty of time to date when they are finished with their mission.

[Mahone]

Yes. They live, breath, see, speak, & do the gospel/mission/church 24/7. That is their job.

No

Yes

The only 'socializing' that they do would be at Ward/Stake functions. Such as a Ward Pot Luck. They will have plenty of time to date when they are finished with their mission.

Lol, I don't agree 100% with your last point, I don't think it's as simple as that, but that falls into the category of my issues with the church and not for this thread I guess.

Edited March 27, 2009 by Mahone

[Maureen]

Yes. They live, breath, see, speak, & do the gospel/mission/church 24/7. That is their job.

Unless they come to my place to say Hi and the next 30 minutes is spent talking about paintball (and a little bit of church stuff). :) They didn't seem to mind.