Miscarriage

[Guest shoe8523]

I have been struggling with the feelings of mourning, comfort and being sad. I know that I should spiritually feel comforted but in a "physical" sense I am having a hard time just being okay with my miscarriage. Wondering if there is any words of wisdom out here to help.

Thanks Shoe

[Faerie]

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

[StrawberryFields]

I am sorry for your loss. I agree with Faerie, it is okay to morn the loss of a child.

[Lindy]

Shoe~ You have to go thru the mourning process, don't fret about the feelings you are having...they are probably normal pangs of hurt and heartache. They will get better as time goes on....lessen, but never go away completly for somepeople...... I know how you feel, and if you want to scream, or cry email or p.m. me and I'll listen also.

[Amillia]

I can tell you two things that might help. First this child you lost was Heavenly Father's child first. He was willing to send it down to you for a time, even if it was an extremely short time.

Second, it is now with it's Father in heaven again. Safe from the horrible things of this earth. I believe that some spirits are so special that if they came down and stayed as you and I have, they would have had a much rougher time of it than you or I.

Satan knows us better than we know ourselves because he hasn't had his memory erased. That is why he still knows who were the most valiant in the battle for agency and he does come after those who were doing the most damage to his battle there.

Take comfort in knowing that you will have that little spirit to raise in the next life, you just will have to wait a little longer, but it will be worth it because it won't be here on a wicked earth.

And I don't care what they say about how far along you were in order to take claim to that child, because I had a miscarriage early on and when I was bitterly mourning over the loss, this young woman appeared before me with her arms outstretch to me and said, "Mother". Then disappeared.

I know she will be mine even though I was told at the time I couldn't put her on my family group sheets because I hadn't carried her long enough. I think they have changed that now.

[Blessed]

Shoe, I lost my baby to a miscarriage. It is hard. You have my prayers and support. I wish I were there to hold you. My advice is to seek administration from the elders as well as receive some grief support.

You are passing through the valley -- it is painful, scary, hard, but you are not alone. Lean on Him to see you through.

(((shoe)))

[Guest estump]

Hey Shoe...you are going to feel the loss and it's OKAY!

While I did not have a miscarriage, I did bury my baby. It's totally normal to struggle with the loss. You are mourning all of your hopes and dreams AND your child.

Don't put a time line on how you should feel. You are not weak by any means. If you feel you might benefit from group support....there are groups out there.

Here are some links. I haven't researched them. I have however belonged to a Congenital Heart Defect Loss support group and they have helped me a TON. It helps to know there are people who feel the same way.

http://www.survivingmiscarriage.com/

http://www.babyloss.com/support_intl.php

http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/pm...a=adid=13814486

Lastly...keep praying and talking...find someone you can trust...like your spouse. However allow yourself the space to grieve differently. In time you'll find it easier to cope. The feelings will come and go....but you will be at peace. It takes effort to find it (which seems funny to me...but it's truth.)

PM me if you ever want to just talk.

[pushka]

Shoe, I feel very sorry for you and your sad loss...My thoughts echo all of the above statements, and I wish you peace and comfort as time helps a little, to ease the pain you are going through.

[Guest JRodan]

Originally posted by Faerie@Feb 8 2005, 07:21 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

Just wondering, do you suppose that avatar of yours is helping her feel better?

[Faerie]

Originally posted by JRodan+Feb 9 2005, 07:55 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JRodan @ Feb 9 2005, 07:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Faerie@Feb 8 2005, 07:21 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

Just wondering, do you suppose that avatar of yours is helping her feel better?

do you think your post was a little rude? that is a picture of my son, whom i conceived after 1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies. he is a symbol of hope and dreams and answered prayers.

[pushka]

Thank you for posting that Faerie...I agree that other post was rather rude...

[Guest JRodan]

Originally posted by Faerie+Feb 9 2005, 08:15 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Faerie @ Feb 9 2005, 08:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -JRodan@Feb 9 2005, 07:55 PM

<!--QuoteBegin--Faerie@Feb 8 2005, 07:21 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

Just wondering, do you suppose that avatar of yours is helping her feel better?

do you think your post was a little rude? that is a picture of my son, whom i conceived after 1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies. he is a symbol of hope and dreams and answered prayers.

Shoe? Do you think I'm way out of line? What do you think about my "rudeness"?

[DisRuptive1]

It's better a miscarriage than a still born. Although I guess you can mourn the loss all the same if you like. Girls are good at mourning and crying and stuff. But, chances are, if you miscarried, there was probably a good reason. Your body is smart, it won't take a child that's going to end up dieing or being screwed up. And miscarriages DO happen. You might have already had a few already and didn't even know it. Don't those fetuses need mourning too?

Now that's rudeness, JRodan

[Guest lt]

Originally posted by JRodan+Feb 10 2005, 01:04 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JRodan @ Feb 10 2005, 01:04 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -Faerie@Feb 9 2005, 08:15 PM

Originally posted by -JRodan@Feb 9 2005, 07:55 PM

<!--QuoteBegin--Faerie@Feb 8 2005, 07:21 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

Just wondering, do you suppose that avatar of yours is helping her feel better?

do you think your post was a little rude? that is a picture of my son, whom i conceived after 1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies. he is a symbol of hope and dreams and answered prayers.

Shoe? Do you think I'm way out of line? What do you think about my "rudeness"?

Yes...I do believe you were ....

[Guest lt]

I think weather you have a miscarriage, still born, or a child killed in an accident, it is and always will be a very painful process. The bonding starts from conception, the first moment we thrill about being pregnant, our hopes, dreams, joy, and love build through out the pregnancy, the mother at birth already has a bond so strong and deep, and it's one that cannot be easily forgotten. I truly hope you know there are many wonderful woman on this board who know your pain, and who's love and support shine through in there words. I'm sure many of them would be more than willing to lend you an ear if you need one. If you just need to chat, just know there is a place you can, and people willing to help you through it.

Love and prayers laureltree

[Guest helen1h]

HIya Shoe

This is my first post here - i've only been browsing up until now.

I had my 3rd miscarriage in Jan this year and yes it hurts. i understand how you feel but we need to grieve - shout and scream if you need to.

It is hard to see the eternal perspective with all of this and we still question why even though deep down we know we shouldn't. i myself hurt really bad after my miscarriages and struggled with church - there are so many babies at church on a Sunday!!

It takes time and you need to concentrate on healing yourself both physically and mentally. Having a testimony of the church i know that although trials come our way we will be blessed whther in this life or the life to come. :) Take care -- i can lend a listening ear if you need one - just let me know :)

[Guest JRodan]

Originally posted by LaurelTree+Feb 14 2005, 11:12 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (LaurelTree @ Feb 14 2005, 11:12 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -JRodan@Feb 10 2005, 01:04 PM

Originally posted by -Faerie@Feb 9 2005, 08:15 PM

Originally posted by -JRodan@Feb 9 2005, 07:55 PM

<!--QuoteBegin--Faerie@Feb 8 2005, 07:21 PM

i'm sorry to hear about your loss. how far along were you? it's perfectly fine to grieve a lost child, no matter how far along you were. do know that it gets easier with time, but feel free to mourn your loss. i have experienced a few losses myself before i had my son, so if you need anything please let me know.

Just wondering, do you suppose that avatar of yours is helping her feel better?

do you think your post was a little rude? that is a picture of my son, whom i conceived after 1 ectopic pregnancy, 2 miscarriages and 2 chemical pregnancies. he is a symbol of hope and dreams and answered prayers.

Shoe? Do you think I'm way out of line? What do you think about my "rudeness"?

Yes...I do believe you were ....

Thank you, LaurelTree. Are you now speaking for Shoe or are you Shoe, or do you think maybe you're Shoe?

[pushka]

JRodan, do you not think your time would be better spent posting some practical advice to Shoe at this time, instead of concentrating on Faerie's avatar and whether or not it is in good taste? and being flippant at the same time? Do you think seeing your repeated 'fly' remarks will be making Shoe feel any better? Why do you think she has chosen not to respond to you?

[bluesaphires_n_diamonds]

I think weather you have a miscarriage, still born, or a child killed in an accident, it is and always will be a very painful process. The bonding starts from conception, the first moment we thrill about being pregnant, our hopes, dreams, joy, and love build through out the pregnancy, the mother at birth already has a bond so strong and deep, and it's one that cannot be easily forgotten. I truly hope you know there are many wonderful woman on this board who know your pain, and who's love and support shine through in there words. I'm sure many of them would be more than willing to lend you an ear if you need one. If you just need to chat, just know there is a place you can, and people willing to help you through it.

Love and prayers laureltree

I've suffered 3 miscarriages...Each one was difficult especially the pregnancy where I was the furtherst along I lost 1 @ 2 months,1@ 2 1/2 months and 1 @ 4 months all of my miscarriages were difficult one's. For me it took alot of time..I was finally able to get pregnant and carry my son to full term,he's now a healthy,strong young man whom we are very proud of that was 23 years ago and with the help of my OBGYN Dr's carried him to term but it also took me 8 long years of fertility drugs,but he's certinally been a blessing to us....Morn your loss,no one can tell you that the hurt will go away compleatly cause for me it never has,you suffered a loss,go ahead and grieve your loss,it just takes time....And sometimes talking to people who have been in the same situation can be more understanding..My prayer's are with you..Bluesaphires_n_diamonds. :)

[Fiannan]

One of the reasons my wife and I never make a baby anouncement until about 4 months -- been through the situation of announcing early, losing a baby, and then people asking later (who didn't know) if the baby was born yet. Not a fun experience.

[Dror]

shoe8523,

I'm really sorry about your loss. It's ok to grieve, and there's no list of "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts." Don't feel as though you "shouldn't" feel bad--it's quite all right, and totally normal. As the others have said, your little one is in a better place, with Heavenly Father, and won't have to endure the tribulations of mortality. Of course, that won't take away your pain and feelings of loss, but it may provide some comfort.

(((hugs)))

Dror

[Blessed]

I had a miscarriage in 1988. I still grieve that loss, but in my heart I believe that soul went right back up to Heaven and I take comfort in that. My prayers are with you, shoe.

[OIC]

I have been struggling with the feelings of mourning, comfort and being sad. I know that I should spiritually feel comforted but in a "physical" sense I am having a hard time just being okay with my miscarriage. Wondering if there is any words of wisdom out here to help.

Thanks Shoe

May God comfort you and keep you close.

My wife and I lost a son, our second child, in her second trimester and in the process had to have an emergency hysterectomy.

I have always beleived that he just needed a body to complete Gods plan of salvation, and we served as his bridge from pre-mortal existance to God's kingdom.

It is okay to grieve, in fact, it's necessary.

Our family will keep you in our prayers, and if you ever need to talk, just pm or email.

[LT04]

Dear Shoe,

Last year about this time my wife and I were going to have a baby. When we found out I told my bishop and he felt compelled to give me a blessing. In his blessing he told me that it was going to be a girl and she would be very in tune with the spirit and a great asset to the church. My wife miscarried that child. I assumed that what my bishop had told me would be carried over to our next child. My wife is now about 5 months along with a boy. I went back to my bishop thinking he needed to get his ears cleaned or something b/c he was incorrect. He had me sit down in his office and after I told him my concern he replied that he didn't understand. I was a little heated at this point thinking what is there to not understand about all this? Then he said you still have that daughter her talents were needed else where. I told you she would be a great asset to the church and she is just not here.

I hope this gives you the comfort it gave me,

-LT04

[rosie321]

Its sad to hear of all the loss suffered from miscarriages. What a devastating experience to live through

Even though most here have knowledge of life after death and the hope that comes from it. The pain is very real

I came very close to losing my first and was very concerned after that. They kept saying nature has a way of working things out. If you lose it you can try again type stuff. Made me want to kill them even though I know they were trying to help and prepare me for the possibilities. This was a precious being being not a mass of meaningless matter easily replaced.

I made up in my mind if we did lose a child due to miscarriage or stillbirth (as we have a family history of) that we would celebrate it and mourn its loss just as I would any other person who lived and passed on. The child would have a name even if it was only a gender neutral one.

We have old pictures of stillborn relative in a casket. While it seems kind of perverted to some. This was the only thing that relative had to remember them by. They dressed the child up in what would have been their christening outfit had they lived. This person was a part of the family even though they weren't there. It's really hard in the first few months though when loss occurs.

May everyone whos experienced such painful hardships rejoice and look forward to the time when "Sunday Will Come"