Worthiness, Mission, and Mental Disorders

[NeedsAhand]

I have a really good friend who has kind of had a bad life growing up, family divorced, got mixed up in drugs which people including myself believe he used it to try and self medicate. He is 25, he has been telling his family and church that he is going to serve a mission since 19 but because of mental problems including being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar and yes even schizophrenia this has prevented him from serving. During his long battle with trying to cope without medication he believed that he needed to committ almost every sin you could think of so that he could better help the people in the after life that committed the same sins accept the gospel. Alot of this sinning he has done within the last year, and ironically he now he feels ready to go on a mission because after he did this he said a lot of his symptoms from his mental problems have gone away because he has been really going through the repentance process. He still wants to serve a mission and he says he has never felt more forgiven then he does now and that God allows exceptions to his rules sometimes and he feels this might be one of them. He wont tell his Bishop about anything because he beleives its more importantly between him and God and so he is going to turn in his papers. He really does seem better and there is a real change that I have seen taken place in him, actually an enormous change and I wouldn't be surprised if God has forgiven him and what he says is true but what should I tell him. What if he is telling the truth and he has had a confirmation that he can still serve a mission? Thanks for your advice.

[Just_A_Guy]

What if he is telling the truth and he has had a confirmation that he can still serve a mission?

In a word: no. (Well, he can keep up the charade, but he won't be worthy to serve and will not enjoy a fullness of the Spirit during his service unless he comes clean to the proper authorities.)

At present, if what you say is true, he is not worthy to receive a revelation that would contravene the established doctrines and practices of the Church.

It is a hard thing to serve a mission. It is a soul-destroying thing to attempt to serve a mission unworthily.

Edited March 29, 2009 by Just_A_Guy

[pam]

With the raising of the bar on missionaries and worthiness to serve...I think he would have a hard time going. Just my opinion.

[darrel]

I agree. I have seen many young men return from a mission who should not have gone. At 25 he is pushing the age limit and a true repentance process could take a year or more depending on the bishop.

[NeuroTypical]

What if he is telling the truth and he has had a confirmation that he can still serve a mission?

If he's had a confirmation, then God will send him on his mission.

Odds are pretty low that he's had a confirmation though.

True discipleship involves turning over your desires to the Lord and doing what He wants.

LM

[beefche]

A couple of things come to mind as I read the OP. First, if he doesn't confess to his bishop, then I would think you would be obligated to let his bishop know what you know. And then let it go. It is possible that he could lie to the bishop and stake president to just get his mission papers. Although I'd like to think that the spirit of discernment would alert these men, they are human and may not detect any lies.

Second, if he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, then that is concerning as well. I have a sister with schizo, and if he is not receiving any treatment for it, then it will only get worse. One of the symptoms of schizo is denying they have the disease and then stop taking the meds and therapy needed to control it. Further, schizo's can make up completely false stories and sound so believable that even the best can be fooled.

If he is a close friend, then I would be concerned that he isn't receiving treatment. You cannot go off your meds when dealing with SZ and expect to get better. Please read up on SZ (you can go to schizophrenia.com or nami.org). This is concerning.

[NeedsAhand]

Its amazing the change in his mental capacity to do things, his focus, his ability to recall things, his whole sense of who he is, what the church is about and where he wants to go in life. All of this since I have know him which has been a majority of his life has never really been there. He tells me the spirit has really helped him combat everything he has been told he was and I don't doubt him, even when he was on his medication he still seemed not all there but now I truely notice something special about him. People are always asking him if he is a RM, or when he is about to serve, I've been there with him when people tell him he just has this glow about him, that he should go because people sense a special spirit about him and I agree. He is living the commandments, actually a lot stricter then anyone I know and so I know he is serious about doing the right thing. What if he has been healed, has had a confirmation and truely was told by the spirit that he should serve a mission, should I still support him?

[pam]

Be a friend but don't get his hopes up. Perhaps there are other ways he can serve other than going on a full time mission.

[talisyn]

Glow or not, he really needs to have a good talk with his bishop about past transgressions.

[beefche]

Its amazing the change in his mental capacity to do things, his focus, his ability to recall things, his whole sense of who he is, what the church is about and where he wants to go in life. All of this since I have know him which has been a majority of his life has never really been there. He tells me the spirit has really helped him combat everything he has been told he was and I don't doubt him, even when he was on his medication he still seemed not all there but now I truely notice something special about him. People are always asking him if he is a RM, or when he is about to serve, I've been there with him when people tell him he just has this glow about him, that he should go because people sense a special spirit about him and I agree. He is living the commandments, actually a lot stricter then anyone I know and so I know he is serious about doing the right thing. What if he has been healed, has had a confirmation and truely was told by the spirit that he should serve a mission, should I still support him?

I mean this in a helpful way, but I don't know how to say it but in a rather blunt way. You don't know if he is living the commandments. You don't know if the Spirit spoke to him. You don't know if he is worthy. It is not your responsibility to judge that. Bishops are the judges in Israel at this time. It is his bishop's job and responsibility to determine his worthiness.

That is why I said to let his bishop know of the issues then let it go. You let it go because if the bishop determines he is not worthy to go to the temple or serve a mission, you have nothing to do with that. If the bishop determines he is worthy to enter the temple or serve a mission, then you had nothing to do with it. It is ultimately between him and his bishop.

And I'm going to reiterate that if he is really not taking meds or receiving ANY treatment for schizophrenia (there are some schizo's who can go without meds, but usually they treat through a psychologist or therapist to monitor them), then that is a HUGE concern. I can't describe to you how convincing schizo's can be--they can seem perfectly rational and believable. I can't tell you what to do (ok, I CAN, but it's up to you to do what you will with the advice), but I think you should consider talking to his bishop and finding out if he is seeing a therapist or doctor regarding his health issues.

[sensibility]

To be honest, in my experience, if he has been diagnosed with those disorders, there's almost zero chance he'd be allowed to go on a mission anyway, regardless of any transgressions. The raising of the bar includes health issues, and many more people are being honorably excused on basis of health problems, including mental health, than they were before.

I've heard of the FP granting exceptions. It's possible. However, it seems a bit unlikely in this case, in my opinion.

[NeuroTypical]

What if he has been healed, has had a confirmation and truely was told by the spirit that he should serve a mission, should I still support him?

Again, if he should serve a mission, it will come through the usual process - meeting with the bishop, filling out forms, receiving a formal call. That's how it works, and that's the only way it works. The Lord's church is a church of order.

So, if you see that happening, of course you should still support him. Wave as he leaves for the MTC, and write him lots of letters.

But again, if you don't see this process happening, then there's something wrong. And it's not something wrong with the Lord's church.

LM

[Guest missingsomething]

I have found the worse thing you can do for someone with mental illness is dash a good dream. I wouldnt lie or make him believe it is possible - because I doubt it...

But I would get him a copy of preach my gospel - wrap it with some missionary book of mormons. Then tell him, perhaps what the Lord needs is for him to serve a life mission where he can serve those around him, not just for 2 years - but for a lifetime. Let him know that the scripture that promises blessings for bringing others unto Christ, never said unto Christ on a 2 yr mission. Also might point out that the church is actually reorganizing missionary efforts (PA misions at least) and we are getting less full time missionaries and are being asked to really step up our level of committment to being member missionaries.

This is what I would do. Dont be negative. Make it a positive.

[RachelleDrew]

Yeah.....he needs on his meds again. As someone with the same issues he has, he's not "glowing", he's manic. He could slip into a mania-induced psychosis if he doesn't get some help. It sounds like he's already on his way there.

Keep this in mind, he may not be trying to hoodwink or swindle his way onto a mission, he actually thinks that what he is telling you is the truth. This is why it seems somewhat believable, it's because he actually believes it himself.

It's very likely that he's not trying to hurt anyone or serve unworthily, he's just sick and needs help.