So many questions...

[Soul_Searcher]

I really don't know where to start. I feel I have been in this confused state forever.

I've been a member all my life and never had a problem with my membership until about 5/6 years ago. I just slowly started to question everything I believed. I really don't know why. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I knew that. Anyway, I basically drifted away from church but I was never inactive. This was all inside. It took me ages to confess to my husband as I was so worried about what he might think. I didnt want to disappoint him as when we got married I was the uber one, he saw ME as the example in our relationship.

Anyway, he knows all about it now and Ive only just confessed to my Dad that I dont know if the church is true. Of course, they are telling me to do all the usual stuff like ray and read scriptures. I am trying. I ask God everyday if the church is true but I dont seem to be getting anywhere.

My Dad keeps telling me desire is enough to know, but thats the problem. I'm tired of all this and don't know if my desire to know is strong enough. I get the feeling God wants me to work for this but I dont know if I can.

I had a 'spiritual' experience not long ago when I prayed for something and it came true. My husband thinks this should have been enough, proof if you will. But it isn't. I know what the 'Spirit' feels like but thats not enough for me. It doesn't make me feel, wow the church is true.

Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? I still feel fairly isolated and lonely in my battle as even my husband said he's never come across anyone with problems like mine even on his mission! I just feel I'm constantly going through the motions and I'm not fulfilled or getting anywhere. I don't even know what I really want.

I have loads more questions but I think that sums up the problem for now. Any help would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!! Thanx.

[goofball]

No worries you are never alone with the challenges you have in life. It is unfortunately much easier to drift away slowly because it takes WORK. I think you will find that there are many who have journeyed down your same road. At times it happens to everyone to some degree or another, myself included.

My advice is simply keep going, don't ever, ever give up. You need to keep doing all that you have been advised.

[FunkyTown]

I really don't know where to start. I feel I have been in this confused state forever.

I've been a member all my life and never had a problem with my membership until about 5/6 years ago. I just slowly started to question everything I believed. I really don't know why. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I knew that. Anyway, I basically drifted away from church but I was never inactive. This was all inside. It took me ages to confess to my husband as I was so worried about what he might think. I didnt want to disappoint him as when we got married I was the uber one, he saw ME as the example in our relationship.

Anyway, he knows all about it now and Ive only just confessed to my Dad that I dont know if the church is true. Of course, they are telling me to do all the usual stuff like ray and read scriptures. I am trying. I ask God everyday if the church is true but I dont seem to be getting anywhere.

My Dad keeps telling me desire is enough to know, but thats the problem. I'm tired of all this and don't know if my desire to know is strong enough. I get the feeling God wants me to work for this but I dont know if I can.

I had a 'spiritual' experience not long ago when I prayed for something and it came true. My husband thinks this should have been enough, proof if you will. But it isn't. I know what the 'Spirit' feels like but thats not enough for me. It doesn't make me feel, wow the church is true.

Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? I still feel fairly isolated and lonely in my battle as even my husband said he's never come across anyone with problems like mine even on his mission! I just feel I'm constantly going through the motions and I'm not fulfilled or getting anywhere. I don't even know what I really want.

I have loads more questions but I think that sums up the problem for now. Any help would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!! Thanx.

You are amazing and you are not alone, Searcher. Everyone from the most die-hard atheist to Mother Theresa have had doubts about their beliefs. That's okay. It's not a crime. In fact, finding the truth is very important.

What you need to know, more than anything, is to know what you want: Do you just want to know the truth? We can help with that. Do you just not want to go to church, but are afraid of the consequences of that? It's okay to feel like that. I disagree with it, but nobody can help how they feel.

Before anything can be said at any point, you have to figure out what you want. You're loved and the answers you want can be found, but you have to know what it is you do want.

[Soul_Searcher]

But WHY do I need to keep on doing it? Thats what I keep asking myself. Surely its only worth it if you are getting something from it? EVERYONE tells me the same thing as they are desperate that I dont leave the church. Sometimes I wonder why. If they want me to be truly happy then wouldnt they be happy if I was? Even if it meant not coming to church?

Ive been doing a lot of soul searching lately (hence the name!!) about why I feel the way I do. I came to the conclusion that I feel I don't need the gospel in my life. I'm a very strong personality, admittedly, I dont like to be told what to do or to be wrong. My husband calls it pride. (But Im not boastful or prideful, just contented!) But at the same time I am happy with my life, and I feel fulfilled in my career and relationship. I have a great family, despite the trials they sometimes bring. I know Im a good person overall. I try my best. Therefore Im finding it difficult to see where the church fits in in my life. Its the only area that gives me question and doubt. I feel if I didnt have the church, that would disappear.

[Soul_Searcher]

You are amazing and you are not alone, Searcher. Everyone from the most die-hard atheist to Mother Theresa have had doubts about their beliefs. That's okay. It's not a crime. In fact, finding the truth is very important.

What you need to know, more than anything, is to know what you want: Do you just want to know the truth? We can help with that. Do you just not want to go to church, but are afraid of the consequences of that? It's okay to feel like that. I disagree with it, but nobody can help how they feel.

Before anything can be said at any point, you have to figure out what you want. You're loved and the answers you want can be found, but you have to know what it is you do want.

Wow thanks Funky town! I suppose you are right, I really need to figure out what I want. I have asked myself that question soooo many times!!! It's so annoying. I'm such an indecisive person I really dont know what I want.

But what you said is right in a way-I do want to know the truth. But not in the way I should. I want to know as it would make life easier, I hate having doubt its exhausting!! You said you can you help with that-How? I think maybe I am afraid deep down of what if its true and I dont go? I suppose Im hanging in there 'just in case' its true but I dont want to do whats required of me.

This sounds so messed up!! haha. Maybe I should have asked the question, how do I know what I want, first!!

[HiJolly]

I've been a member all my life and never had a problem with my membership until about 5/6 years ago. I just slowly started to question everything I believed. I really don't know why. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I knew that. Anyway, I basically drifted away from church but I was never inactive. This was all inside. It took me ages to confess to my husband as I was so worried about what he might think. I didnt want to disappoint him as when we got married I was the uber one, he saw ME as the example in our relationship.

Good news: This is a natural state. Your faith is now in transition, from something good to something better. Bad news: Transitional states are never comfortable. By their nature, they required deep contemplation and inevitable distress, even pain.

Above all else, please believe that God lives; that He is in charge; that God loves you; That He will never abandon you completely.

Personal Beliefs » hijolly comes clean » LDS Mormon Network

Anyway, he knows all about it now and Ive only just confessed to my Dad that I dont know if the church is true. Of course, they are telling me to do all the usual stuff like [p]ray and read scriptures. I am trying. I ask God everyday if the church is true but I dont seem to be getting anywhere.

Right. Have you read of Fowler's stages of faith? Fowler Stages of Faith

My Dad keeps telling me desire is enough to know, but thats the problem. I'm tired of all this and don't know if my desire to know is strong enough. I get the feeling God wants me to work for this but I dont know if I can.

He does. I had to switch into passivity several times as I experienced this state. I always maintained a belief in God and His goodness, though. I *chose* to believe, even if passively. In time, I regained the energy and desire to continue pressing forward.

I had a 'spiritual' experience not long ago when I prayed for something and it came true. My husband thinks this should have been enough, proof if you will. But it isn't. I know what the 'Spirit' feels like but thats not enough for me. It doesn't make me feel, wow the church is true.

You're right. And it shouldn't, expecially not when you are in transition.

Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? I still feel fairly isolated and lonely in my battle as even my husband said he's never come across anyone with problems like mine even on his mission! I just feel I'm constantly going through the motions and I'm not fulfilled or getting anywhere. I don't even know what I really want.

I feel for you!

I have loads more questions but I think that sums up the problem for now. Any help would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!! Thanx.

I think this site can be helpful. Think really hard about Fowler's study. It's the real deal.

HiJolly

[Soul_Searcher]

Good news: This is a natural state. Your faith is now in transition, from something good to something better. Bad news: Transitional states are never comfortable. By their nature, they required deep contemplation and inevitable distress, even pain.

Wow really this is good?? You are right about the contemplation bit. It seems to be taking over my life.

Above all else, please believe that God lives; that He is in charge; that God loves you; That He will never abandon you completely.

I do believe in God. I hope he exists.

He does. I had to switch into passivity several times as I experienced this state. I always maintained a belief in God and His goodness, though. I *chose* to believe, even if passively. In time, I regained the energy and desire to continue pressing forward.

Thats really interesting. So I should just keep chugging along as I am? This could take years!!!

You're right. And it shouldn't, expecially not when you are in transition.

Why do you say that??

I feel for you!

Thanks!

Wow I didnt expect so many amazing responses so quickly. HiJolly, I will read the stages of faith. I glanced over it but Im doing all this and writing an essay at the same time. My brain is beginning to hurt so I will read it later on when I can give 100% to it.

[HiJolly]

But WHY do I need to keep on doing it? Thats what I keep asking myself. Surely its only worth it if you are getting something from it?

Because if you stop and never return to the struggle, you will damn your progress. You *are* getting something from it, but the "dark night of the soul" is painful and sometimes slow. Patience. Your spiritual unfoldment requires time.

EVERYONE tells me the same thing as they are desperate that I dont leave the church. Sometimes I wonder why. If they want me to be truly happy then wouldnt they be happy if I was? Even if it meant not coming to church?

Spiritual unfoldment requires belonging to a community of faith.

Ive been doing a lot of soul searching lately (hence the name!!) about why I feel the way I do. I came to the conclusion that I feel I don't need the gospel in my life. I'm a very strong personality, admittedly, I dont like to be told what to do or to be wrong. My husband calls it pride. (But Im not boastful or prideful, just contented!) But at the same time I am happy with my life, and I feel fulfilled in my career and relationship. I have a great family, despite the trials they sometimes bring. I know Im a good person overall. I try my best. Therefore Im finding it difficult to see where the church fits in in my life. Its the only area that gives me question and doubt. I feel if I didnt have the church, that would disappear.

We all need to serve others. WE need it in our lives. Few Churches provide this in a better way than the one you already belong to. *Choose* to believe. *Choose* to serve. The Holy Ghost will continue pruning your misconceptions and false beliefs from you, which process is necessary but VERY painful.

Many people at this stage are tempted to leave the Church. Perhaps you will need to. But if you can remain, your transition will be hastened, you pain will be lessened. Best of all, collateral damage will be minimized.

If you keep truth as your goal and desire, you will acheive victory, with God's (unnoticed) help. Remember, hindsite is 20/20. You are loved.

HiJolly

[Soul_Searcher]

Because if you stop and never return to the struggle, you will damn your progress. You *are* getting something from it, but the "dark night of the soul" is painful and sometimes slow. Patience. Your spiritual unfoldment requires time.

How long did this take you HiJolly?

We all need to serve others. WE need it in our lives. Few Churches provide this in a better way than the one you already belong to. *Choose* to believe. *Choose* to serve. The Holy Ghost will continue pruning your misconceptions and false beliefs from you, which process is necessary but VERY painful

.

The thing is I'm not serving IN the church. Ive cut myself off from it. I released myself from all my callings even visiting teaching as I didnt feel comfortable doing it. I dont feel in a community as such as I dont like my ward. So many of the people annoy me and hold the very views and attitudes that make me feel I dont want to go to church anymore.

Many people at this stage are tempted to leave the Church. Perhaps you will need to. But if you can remain, your transition will be hastened, you pain will be lessened. Best of all, collateral damage will be minimized.

I will remain. I really dont have a choice in that!!

If you keep truth as your goal and desire, you will acheive victory, with God's (unnoticed) help. Remember, hindsite is 20/20. You are loved.

Thanks once again to all for your wonderful insights and support. I feel better already!

[FunkyTown]

Wow thanks Funky town! I suppose you are right, I really need to figure out what I want. I have asked myself that question soooo many times!!! It's so annoying. I'm such an indecisive person I really dont know what I want.

But what you said is right in a way-I do want to know the truth. But not in the way I should. I want to know as it would make life easier, I hate having doubt its exhausting!! You said you can you help with that-How? I think maybe I am afraid deep down of what if its true and I dont go? I suppose Im hanging in there 'just in case' its true but I dont want to do whats required of me.

This sounds so messed up!! haha. Maybe I should have asked the question, how do I know what I want, first!!

It's okay. Most people are schizophrenic in their wants.

I've sensed a lot from what you've said. It sounds like you simultaneously want what you perceive everyone else has from church and also resent church for intruding in to what you want - Whether that's more free time on the weekends or the freedom to do (insert X here).

These conflicting desires are manifesting as doubts: It's a type of cognitive dissonance, which is just a fancy schmancy way of saying 'You have two mutually exclusive ideas'.

There is only one way for you to resolve this: You have to figure out what you want and what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of the social stigma of leaving the church? Of how your family will react? Are you afraid it might be true and thus want to find out for certain?

If the only thing keeping you in church are those first two things, you have a difficult road ahead of you. You might want to identify why you feel that way: Do you have a calling that is difficult that you resent? Do you dislike waking up on your singular day off?

If, on the other hand, you find that you remember with affection the church and are currently wandering blind... You aren't alone. There is an answer. It can be found... But it's useless if you don't -want- to believe.

Struggle with it, find out what you want. You'll get where you want if you know where that is. :)

[applepansy]

I really don't know where to start. I feel I have been in this confused state forever.

I've been a member all my life and never had a problem with my membership until about 5/6 years ago. I just slowly started to question everything I believed. I really don't know why. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I knew that. Anyway, I basically drifted away from church but I was never inactive. This was all inside. It took me ages to confess to my husband as I was so worried about what he might think. I didnt want to disappoint him as when we got married I was the uber one, he saw ME as the example in our relationship.

Anyway, he knows all about it now and Ive only just confessed to my Dad that I dont know if the church is true. Of course, they are telling me to do all the usual stuff like ray and read scriptures. I am trying. I ask God everyday if the church is true but I dont seem to be getting anywhere.

My Dad keeps telling me desire is enough to know, but thats the problem. I'm tired of all this and don't know if my desire to know is strong enough. I get the feeling God wants me to work for this but I dont know if I can.

I had a 'spiritual' experience not long ago when I prayed for something and it came true. My husband thinks this should have been enough, proof if you will. But it isn't. I know what the 'Spirit' feels like but thats not enough for me. It doesn't make me feel, wow the church is true.

Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? I still feel fairly isolated and lonely in my battle as even my husband said he's never come across anyone with problems like mine even on his mission! I just feel I'm constantly going through the motions and I'm not fulfilled or getting anywhere. I don't even know what I really want.

I have loads more questions but I think that sums up the problem for now. Any help would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!! Thanx.

Have you considered doubting your doubts? Question your doubts. Usually when we start to doubt our beliefs its Satan working his way in. When we question our doubts we soon learn where the doubts are coming from.

applepansy

[HiJolly]

HiJolly:

You're right. And it shouldn't, expecially not when you are in transition.

Soul_Searcher: Why do you say that??

Answer: Did you read "HiJolly comes clean" that I linked to in that post? If your internal definition of 'truth' is absolute and you are spiritually transitioning from Fowler's phase 3 to phase 4 at the same time, then the answer the Holy Ghost gives you is constrained within those parameters. That is why.

How long did this take you HiJolly?

I cheated. Took me about 6 months of pain. But God had already revealed Himself/Herself to me, years earlier. Usually takes longer, in my experience. Mother Teresa said her whole life was in the "dark night of the soul". Yech.

The thing is I'm not serving IN the church. Ive cut myself off from it. I released myself from all my callings even visiting teaching as I didnt feel comfortable doing it. I dont feel in a community as such as I dont like my ward. So many of the people annoy me and hold the very views and attitudes that make me feel I dont want to go to church anymore.

I understand.

I will remain. I really dont have a choice in that!!

You *do* have the choice. If your sense of duty and responsibility prevents your total abandonment of the Church, you still have made the choice. ALWAYS accept responsibility.

Thanks once again to all for your wonderful insights and support. I feel better already!

I'm glad.

HiJolly

[Traveler]

I really don't know where to start. I feel I have been in this confused state forever.

I've been a member all my life and never had a problem with my membership until about 5/6 years ago. I just slowly started to question everything I believed. I really don't know why. Maybe I wouldn't be here if I knew that. Anyway, I basically drifted away from church but I was never inactive. This was all inside. It took me ages to confess to my husband as I was so worried about what he might think. I didnt want to disappoint him as when we got married I was the uber one, he saw ME as the example in our relationship.

Anyway, he knows all about it now and Ive only just confessed to my Dad that I dont know if the church is true. Of course, they are telling me to do all the usual stuff like ray and read scriptures. I am trying. I ask God everyday if the church is true but I dont seem to be getting anywhere.

My Dad keeps telling me desire is enough to know, but thats the problem. I'm tired of all this and don't know if my desire to know is strong enough. I get the feeling God wants me to work for this but I dont know if I can.

I had a 'spiritual' experience not long ago when I prayed for something and it came true. My husband thinks this should have been enough, proof if you will. But it isn't. I know what the 'Spirit' feels like but thats not enough for me. It doesn't make me feel, wow the church is true.

Can anyone relate to where I'm coming from? I still feel fairly isolated and lonely in my battle as even my husband said he's never come across anyone with problems like mine even on his mission! I just feel I'm constantly going through the motions and I'm not fulfilled or getting anywhere. I don't even know what I really want.

I have loads more questions but I think that sums up the problem for now. Any help would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!! Thanx.

I would add something that might be missing from the postings so far. First - please understand that I am not trying to put you down. There is something you ought to think about that you may have missed. Your posts seem to be rather self centered.

Many are disappointed in the gospel because of “I” problems. They begin to think salvation is about them and their rewards and their blessings. Jesus said that in order to find yourself you must lose yourself. Perhaps you may consider doing something kind for someone ever day. Consider doing something especially nice and kind for someone in your ward that you do not like very much. If you have a calling – give something extra of yourself in the calling. If someone is troubling you in the way you think you should perform your calling – do something extra for them without them knowing you are behind it.

The Traveler

[Connie]

But God had already revealed Himself/Herself to me

Himself/Herself???

[Tarnished]

About two years ago I started to feel the same way. I started doubting things I had never doubted before. I began to fall away from the church and stopped attending. I felt like I needed to think things through and figure out where I needed to be. I felt like I was expected to attend church and like I had attended most of my life because either my parents or my husband expected it of me. I had made sure to try and live my life righteously because I did not want to disappoint my parents or my husband. And yet when it all came down to it I was doing all of this for someone other than me.

It finally started to bother me and so I took a “break” from the church. I started looking into other religions but every time I really started looking at their beliefs I found something inside me saying, “No, this is not right.” And so I found myself in a sort of religion-less situation. As time passed I started looking back at the church again and started really looking into the things that I was currently doubting. I realized that certain things were true, and no matter how far away from the church I fell I could not deny their truthfulness. I began to realize that the only way I would come back to church was if I really wanted to come back on my own. Not because I felt guilty for being inactive, not because my husband wanted me to go, not because I was scaring my parents, but because I wanted the gospel in my life again.

However, my time away from the church changed me, it left me open to temptation and left me without the blessing of the spirit in many cases. I fell into sin and ended up doing things I would never have done if I had been attending church. I realized that I did have a testimony of the church and I did believe it was true, I just had to work on it and really research the things that confused me or that left me doubting. But it had to be my choice and my decision.

It was difficult, because I am very stubborn and my husband tried to drag me back to church anyway he could. But in the end it was all up to me.

My advice, based on my experiences would be to research those things that you find yourself doubting, find out about them and pray about them, make them something you know a lot about. Make sure though that what you do is out of a real desire, because if you feel you are only doing it out of expectations then it will be hard for you to really feel the spirit or feel promptings from God. Make sure you are doing this for you. And one other note, be careful while inactive, Satan loves to see what he can do when your defenses are down.

[HiJolly]

Himself/Herself???

Do you believe in a Heavenly Mother?

Actually, this is how I refer to the transcendent God, as distinguished from the anthropomorphic or 'manifest' God.

Context: Hey, I'm a mystic.

HiJolly

[Soul_Searcher]

It's okay. Most people are schizophrenic in their wants.

I've sensed a lot from what you've said. It sounds like you simultaneously want what you perceive everyone else has from church and also resent church for intruding in to what you want - Whether that's more free time on the weekends or the freedom to do (insert X here).

That is actually so hilarious as you have totally hit on how I feel!

These conflicting desires are manifesting as doubts: It's a type of cognitive dissonance, which is just a fancy schmancy way of saying 'You have two mutually exclusive ideas'.

So true....

There is only one way for you to resolve this: You have to figure out what you want and what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of the social stigma of leaving the church? Of how your family will react? Are you afraid it might be true and thus want to find out for certain?

If the only thing keeping you in church are those first two things, you have a difficult road ahead of you. You might want to identify why you feel that way: Do you have a calling that is difficult that you resent? Do you dislike waking up on your singular day off?

If, on the other hand, you find that you remember with affection the church and are currently wandering blind... You aren't alone. There is an answer. It can be found... But it's useless if you don't -want- to believe.

Struggle with it, find out what you want. You'll get where you want if you know where that is. :)

So...should I pray to find out what I want? I really dont know thats the problem. I suppose theres more to it than keeping family happy. At one point there wasnt, that was the sole reason and it wasn't nice. I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. Do what I want and be in the church, and those 2 things differ. Does that mean I cant ever do what I want if I am to be active in the church?

Im not doing everything I could be. Maybe I should start doing that? But everytime I do, something stops me. Like when I go to pray, I just dont know what to say I cant get the words out. I have to pray on the bus or walking as thats the only way I can do it. And even then it just feels like Im thinking but putting the word 'God' in front of it. Why does this have to be so hard? I feel theres a barrier in front of everything I do church related that stops me from fully committing to anything.

[Connie]

“The harsh reality is that mankind must choose between opposites, between light and darkness, between truth and falsehood, between righteousness and unrighteousness, between happiness and misery. All of these choices are really simple. How delighted the adversary is when he can divert men from deciding about these first things and keep them busy with second, third, and fourth things.” -Neal A. Maxwell

“We cannot practice one principle of Jesus Christ, apart from all his other principles, and have full happiness. -Neal A. Maxwell

“One may well ask if it is necessary to choose between such absolute extremes, and wonder if there is not some more moderate approach to the problems. By the very nature of things, there is no third way – as the early Jewish and Christian writers remind us repeatedly in their doctrine of the Two Ways. According to this oldest and best-established of teachings (though quite unpopular with the conventional Christianity and Judaism of our time), there are Two Ways lying before every person in this life, the Way of Light and the Way of Darkness, the Way of Life and the Way of Death; and every mortal every day of his life is required to make a choice between them. Unfortunately for our peace of mind, any compromise between the Two Ways is out of the question, since they lead in opposite directions. As the wise Heraclitus pointed out long ago, “The up-road and the down-road are one and the same.” Which one you are on depends entirely on the way you are facing.” -Hugh Nibley

Hope these quotes will help some. :)

[Soul_Searcher]

About two years ago I started to feel the same way. I started doubting things I had never doubted before. I began to fall away from the church and stopped attending. I felt like I needed to think things through and figure out where I needed to be. I felt like I was expected to attend church and like I had attended most of my life because either my parents or my husband expected it of me. I had made sure to try and live my life righteously because I did not want to disappoint my parents or my husband. And yet when it all came down to it I was doing all of this for someone other than me.

It finally started to bother me and so I took a “break” from the church. I started looking into other religions but every time I really started looking at their beliefs I found something inside me saying, “No, this is not right.” And so I found myself in a sort of religion-less situation. As time passed I started looking back at the church again and started really looking into the things that I was currently doubting. I realized that certain things were true, and no matter how far away from the church I fell I could not deny their truthfulness. I began to realize that the only way I would come back to church was if I really wanted to come back on my own. Not because I felt guilty for being inactive, not because my husband wanted me to go, not because I was scaring my parents, but because I wanted the gospel in my life again.

However, my time away from the church changed me, it left me open to temptation and left me without the blessing of the spirit in many cases. I fell into sin and ended up doing things I would never have done if I had been attending church. I realized that I did have a testimony of the church and I did believe it was true, I just had to work on it and really research the things that confused me or that left me doubting. But it had to be my choice and my decision.

It was difficult, because I am very stubborn and my husband tried to drag me back to church anyway he could. But in the end it was all up to me.

My advice, based on my experiences would be to research those things that you find yourself doubting, find out about them and pray about them, make them something you know a lot about. Make sure though that what you do is out of a real desire, because if you feel you are only doing it out of expectations then it will be hard for you to really feel the spirit or feel promptings from God. Make sure you are doing this for you. And one other note, be careful while inactive, Satan loves to see what he can do when your defenses are down.

Tarnished this sounds exactly like my situation. I to am very stubborn. It may be my stubborn nature thats stopping me allowing myself to immerse myself in the gospel. I realised not too long ago that this HAS to come from me, no matter how much my family try. It can only be me.

Traveler, I take your point entirely. It is self centred, but it has to be. Its about me and my struggle. Isnt that what we're supposed to be here for, to learn and grow? I have to focus on myself if Im to get to a point where I can be hap[py at church again.

OK, I think I have realised a reason from reading through all these great responses-I see dependance as weakness. I like being independant and reliant on no one but myself. In that case, the church I see as weakness, as in, I must be weak to need it.

Can that be overcome?

[Connie]

True independence recognizes dependence on God. Read Mosiah 4. In fact all of King Benjamin's address i would recommend reading.

[Tarnished]

OK, I think I have realised a reason from reading through all these great responses-I see dependance as weakness. I like being independant and reliant on no one but myself. In that case, the church I see as weakness, as in, I must be weak to need it.

Can that be overcome?

In my life I have come to realize that the church provides a plan on how to return to Heavenly Father. The purpose of this life is to live in such a way that when we die we can continue on our eternal progression. To do so we have to really work at it. The church gives us the plan, and gives us guidelines on how to best return to Heavenly Father, however it is up to us to follow that plan and live by those guidelines. This is difficult, from what I have seen you have to actually be very strong to live the gospel. Yes we are told that we must become like a little child, humble and teachable, and yet once we know the truth it is up to us to be strong enough to follow through.

For me the best way to get past something I am struggling with is to really look at the issue and ask myself what is causing me to think that way and what I can do to change my point of view. If I were to approach this in my own mind I would begin by asking myself why I felt that I must be weak to belong to the church. I would ask where that thought was coming from and then I would look at the church and really ask myself if there were things that I would need to be strong for in regards to the church.

[Madriglace]

While reading this thread I remembered this quote form the Gospel Doctrine lesson manual. I don't think I could put it better if I tried.

Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled:

“Sometimes you may struggle with a problem and not get an answer. What could be wrong? It may be that you are not doing anything wrong. It may be that you have not done the right things long enough. Remember, you cannot force spiritual things. Sometimes we are confused simply because we won’t take no for an answer. …

“Put difficult questions in the back of your minds and go about your lives. Ponder and pray quietly and persistently about them.

“The answer may not come as a lightning bolt. It may come as a little inspiration here and a little there, ‘line upon line, precept upon precept’ (D&C 98:12).

“Some answers will come from reading the scriptures, some from hearing speakers. And, occasionally, when it is important, some will come by very direct and powerful inspiration. The promptings will be clear and unmistakable”

In D&C 88:68 it says basically the Lord does things in His own time. We need to be able to endure to the end and do it well.

I have been where you are ... it took me 13 years to get it right ... now that I am home I wonder how I could have left it behind. You are so loved ... remember who you are and endure. You are in the right place.

[Soul_Searcher]

Ill give Mosiah 4 a try. Im getting bored of Alma 32!

See, I dont know if this IS the plan. Other churches believe they are right too, and even have spiritual feelings, or why else would they believe? They must have had confirmation too. My husband also says it is true but so hard to live. I also feel embarrassed when I tell people Im a member and what I believe. It just sounds silly and far fetched when I verbalise it. Also, I dont know how I can get past all the church history stuff.

Seems like I have a long road ahead still!

[HiJolly]

While reading this thread I remembered this quote form the Gospel Doctrine lesson manual. I don't think I could put it better if I tried.

Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled:

“Sometimes you may struggle with a problem and not get an answer. What could be wrong? It may be that you are not doing anything wrong. It may be that you have not done the right things long enough. Remember, you cannot force spiritual things. Sometimes we are confused simply because we won’t take no for an answer. …

“Put difficult questions in the back of your minds and go about your lives. Ponder and pray quietly and persistently about them.

“The answer may not come as a lightning bolt. It may come as a little inspiration here and a little there, ‘line upon line, precept upon precept’ (D&C 98:12).

“Some answers will come from reading the scriptures, some from hearing speakers. And, occasionally, when it is important, some will come by very direct and powerful inspiration. The promptings will be clear and unmistakable”

In D&C 88:68 it says basically the Lord does things in His own time. We need to be able to endure to the end and do it well.

I have been where you are ... it took me 13 years to get it right ... now that I am home I wonder how I could have left it behind. You are so loved ... remember who you are and endure. You are in the right place.

Beautiful.... Just beautiful.

HiJolly

[Soul_Searcher]

While reading this thread I remembered this quote form the Gospel Doctrine lesson manual. I don't think I could put it better if I tried.

Elder Boyd K. Packer counseled:

“Sometimes you may struggle with a problem and not get an answer. What could be wrong? It may be that you are not doing anything wrong. It may be that you have not done the right things long enough. Remember, you cannot force spiritual things. Sometimes we are confused simply because we won’t take no for an answer. …

I dont understand that bit where it says we are confused because we dont take no for an answer. Surely it should be that we cant take YES for an answer?!

“Put difficult questions in the back of your minds and go about your lives. Ponder and pray quietly and persistently about them.

“The answer may not come as a lightning bolt. It may come as a little inspiration here and a little there, ‘line upon line, precept upon precept’ (D&C 98:12).

I dont think thats enough for me. I need the below!!

“Some answers will come from reading the scriptures, some from hearing speakers. And, occasionally, when it is important, some will come by very direct and powerful inspiration. The promptings will be clear and unmistakable”

In D&C 88:68 it says basically the Lord does things in His own time. We need to be able to endure to the end and do it well.

I have been where you are ... it took me 13 years to get it right ... now that I am home I wonder how I could have left it behind. You are so loved ... remember who you are and endure. You are in the right place.

I used to feel this way. It was nice but I felt constantly from everything I wasnt doing. I feel a bit freer now. Just confused instead. lol.