How do I know if this is right?

[vegasbay]

Hello dear friends, It has been quite some time since I last posted. My life has been very busy!

I went back to school after taking a term off, I'm cracking away at my pre-veterinary medicine requirements - my first term back I earned a 4.0 on 18 hours of science and math, this term will be close to that, but maybe a little lower. I have a fantastic internship with the best equine vet in my area (he's also helping me get ready for my vet school application process), I have a small and farm animal vet that I'll work with this summer, I volunteer at the Humane Society, I'm actively involved in United States Pony Clubs (a riding and horsemanship organization for children and young adults), I have a wonderful family full of nieces and nephews, a great relationship with my parents, I just found a great apartment that is close to campus and where I board my horses, I found a fantastic roommate to move in in August, and I have a plethora of animals that mean everything to me.

I could spend many more paragraphs describing how wonderful my life is, yet there is something hanging over me...

I just turned 21 last week, and as an unmarried woman in the church, the natural tendency is to look towards missionary work. And that is what I am doing.

Fantastic! Wonderful! Who wouldn't want to go on a mission?! Who wouldn't want to serve Heavenly Father with all their heart for 18 months?

Me.

Don't get me wrong, if I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to go on a mission, my papers would already be in my bishop's hand. But I'm just not sure that this is the right thing for me.

I spent most of my teenage years lost, looking for a life that I thought Heavenly Father wanted for me. I looked everywhere for it. The search took me to the other side of the country, and even to a different country. After many years and much heartache and loneliness, I finally realized that God had a different plan for me - one that I didn't know. I prayed that He would guide me down the path that was right for me. And now I know that He has.

Heavenly Father has given me everything. More than just my temporal existence. He has shown me the life that I am to lead. I will share a line of my patriarchal blessing that has been my guiding compass from the moment I heard it spoken. At 19 years old, it changed and yet confirmed my reason for existence: "You have a special kindness and an understanding of God's creations. Be true and faithful to your desires. Your service to Him and to your fellow men will be meaningful and valuable." I know that this is the reason why I am here on this earth at this time. He has given me everything I need to succeed in this role, including the animals He has given me to care for. They are a part of me. I see my life rolling out in front of me. Everything that I've looked for for so long is finally here. He has placed it right in my hands.

And now I am supposed to give it all up. I don't understand how this could be the right thing for me. I feel like I am supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, and yet something won't let me be at ease when I say no to a mission.

Leaving my life for such a long period of time seems impossible. The greatest of these challenges would be finding a place for my horse while I am gone. She is everything to me. She is my whole life and I love her more than anything. She has some health issues that need caring for, and I just don't know how I could find someone who is competent and knowledgeable enough to care for her. And even my other animals would have to find temporary new homes. And school, and my family.

And...for the past three years I've been dealing with an off-and-on sickness that robs me of my energy and stamina and causes many disturbing muscular and neurological symptoms. And now comes the news that it could possibly be Multiple Sclerosis. Now I am faced with coming to grips with a progressive neurological disease that could rob me of my life. I run 5-9 miles a day (when I'm not sick), I ride my horses...I am a very active and independent person and I take great interest in my physical health. And now I could lose that.

I could lose everything. If I lose the use of my hands, or even just my coordination, then I lose my career as a veterinary surgeon. If I lose the strength in my lower legs, then I lose my ability to run and my ability to practice large animal medicine, and even my ability to ride and be around my horses independently. I could also lose my cognition and everything else that makes me independent. I could lose everything.

So I am left to find answers, yet I don't know where to look. I'm feeling a little lost again

[aspenmgy]

Nobody can tell you what you should do. My wife has often told me when she prayed about going on a mission the answer she received was: "If you want to". Meaning either way was acceptable. I'm glad she did, otherwise we might have never met :)

The thing about your horse and other little things...God will find a way to take care of those if you are planning on serving. Your health problems...I don't know what to tell you.

You aren't a bad person if you choose not to serve a mission.

[talisyn]

You sound like you need to do the fasting and prayer a little bit more lol.

But if you do get the strong impression to go on a mission, don't deny it! I did, went and joined the Army instead, and got into a car accident the same day I signed my papers. The physical rehabilitation I needed took about 2 years

Coincidence? Maybe, or maybe not......*cue dramatic music*

[Hemidakota]

Hello dear friends, It has been quite some time since I last posted. My life has been very busy!

I went back to school after taking a term off, I'm cracking away at my pre-veterinary medicine requirements - my first term back I earned a 4.0 on 18 hours of science and math, this term will be close to that, but maybe a little lower. I have a fantastic internship with the best equine vet in my area (he's also helping me get ready for my vet school application process), I have a small and farm animal vet that I'll work with this summer, I volunteer at the Humane Society, I'm actively involved in United States Pony Clubs (a riding and horsemanship organization for children and young adults), I have a wonderful family full of nieces and nephews, a great relationship with my parents, I just found a great apartment that is close to campus and where I board my horses, I found a fantastic roommate to move in in August, and I have a plethora of animals that mean everything to me.

I could spend many more paragraphs describing how wonderful my life is, yet there is something hanging over me...

I just turned 21 last week, and as an unmarried woman in the church, the natural tendency is to look towards missionary work. And that is what I am doing.

Fantastic! Wonderful! Who wouldn't want to go on a mission?! Who wouldn't want to serve Heavenly Father with all their heart for 18 months?

Me.

Don't get me wrong, if I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to go on a mission, my papers would already be in my bishop's hand. But I'm just not sure that this is the right thing for me.

I spent most of my teenage years lost, looking for a life that I thought Heavenly Father wanted for me. I looked everywhere for it. The search took me to the other side of the country, and even to a different country. After many years and much heartache and loneliness, I finally realized that God had a different plan for me - one that I didn't know. I prayed that He would guide me down the path that was right for me. And now I know that He has.

Heavenly Father has given me everything. More than just my temporal existence. He has shown me the life that I am to lead. I will share a line of my patriarchal blessing that has been my guiding compass from the moment I heard it spoken. At 19 years old, it changed and yet confirmed my reason for existence: "You have a special kindness and an understanding of God's creations. Be true and faithful to your desires. Your service to Him and to your fellow men will be meaningful and valuable." I know that this is the reason why I am here on this earth at this time. He has given me everything I need to succeed in this role, including the animals He has given me to care for. They are a part of me. I see my life rolling out in front of me. Everything that I've looked for for so long is finally here. He has placed it right in my hands.

And now I am supposed to give it all up. I don't understand how this could be the right thing for me. I feel like I am supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, and yet something won't let me be at ease when I say no to a mission.

Leaving my life for such a long period of time seems impossible. The greatest of these challenges would be finding a place for my horse while I am gone. She is everything to me. She is my whole life and I love her more than anything. She has some health issues that need caring for, and I just don't know how I could find someone who is competent and knowledgeable enough to care for her. And even my other animals would have to find temporary new homes. And school, and my family.

And...for the past three years I've been dealing with an off-and-on sickness that robs me of my energy and stamina and causes many disturbing muscular and neurological symptoms. And now comes the news that it could possibly be Multiple Sclerosis. Now I am faced with coming to grips with a progressive neurological disease that could rob me of my life. I run 5-9 miles a day (when I'm not sick), I ride my horses...I am a very active and independent person and I take great interest in my physical health. And now I could lose that.

I could lose everything. If I lose the use of my hands, or even just my coordination, then I lose my career as a veterinary surgeon. If I lose the strength in my lower legs, then I lose my ability to run and my ability to practice large animal medicine, and even my ability to ride and be around my horses independently. I could also lose my cognition and everything else that makes me independent. I could lose everything.

So I am left to find answers, yet I don't know where to look. I'm feeling a little lost again

Excuse me for being blunt here; do you follow the 'WILL' of GOD? Ask yourself, what is more important for your eternal salvation, a career of the world or serving GOD? Which one is an eternal reward? Now, if you have received a confirmation from the Holy Ghost in receiving a mission call, then follow the counsel of the Spirit. I promise you my dear sister; your rewards will be a double fold in this mortal probation if you do follow HIS WILL.

Let me leave something with you on some insight. Years ago, before McGraw and few others had the insight to cellular technology, I had a vision of such of the future before his attempt and could of been one those multi-billionaires. Instead, I turned it down in remembrance of Peter's answer to Lucifer in the temple of his monetary circumstances. Later, I remind myself, there is no man had much as I have in this life with the fatness of the earth [spirituality] and its riches to the eternal rewards. The trade of the world riches for the eternal richness was well worth it when I am now privy to my pre-mortal life and what calling is waiting for me in serving my Creator. If I choose the earlier path, I would be lost to the world. See the point? Hopefully, you will choose the right.

May you find peace in receiving the confirmation on what to do...

[MarginOfError]

I just turned 21 last week, and as an unmarried woman in the church, the natural tendency is to look towards missionary work. And that is what I am doing.

Fantastic! Wonderful! Who wouldn't want to go on a mission?! Who wouldn't want to serve Heavenly Father with all their heart for 18 months?

Me.

Don't get me wrong, if I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to go on a mission, my papers would already be in my bishop's hand. But I'm just not sure that this is the right thing for me….

I feel like I am supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, and yet something won't let me be at ease when I say no to a mission.

Please understand that I cannot speak authoritatively to you and can only offer my opinion based on the evidence and information you have given me. However, after reading the quoted text above, tell me if it doesn’t like a little bit of this:

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong…(D&C 9:8-9)

I sometimes fear that we interpret that passage of scripture to mean that if we pray about something and it isn’t right, we will magically forget what we were praying about. Far more frequently the stupor of thought—perhaps an inconclusive feeling or a feeling of indecision—is a sign that we should reconsider what we are praying about. Perhaps it would be more clear to phrase it, Because I felt a stupor, I chose to forget (or set aside) what it was I was praying about.

I don’t know if this is truly the case, but it seems plausible to me that you have already received your answer and just aren’t interpreting or understanding it yet.

[Wingnut]

Hello dear friends, It has been quite some time since I last posted. My life has been very busy!

I went back to school after taking a term off, I'm cracking away at my pre-veterinary medicine requirements - my first term back I earned a 4.0 on 18 hours of science and math, this term will be close to that, but maybe a little lower. I have a fantastic internship with the best equine vet in my area (he's also helping me get ready for my vet school application process), I have a small and farm animal vet that I'll work with this summer, I volunteer at the Humane Society, I'm actively involved in United States Pony Clubs (a riding and horsemanship organization for children and young adults), I have a wonderful family full of nieces and nephews, a great relationship with my parents, I just found a great apartment that is close to campus and where I board my horses, I found a fantastic roommate to move in in August, and I have a plethora of animals that mean everything to me.

Congratulations! It sounds like things are going very well for you.

I could spend many more paragraphs describing how wonderful my life is, yet there is something hanging over me...

I just turned 21 last week, and as an unmarried woman in the church, the natural tendency is to look towards missionary work. And that is what I am doing.

Fantastic! Wonderful! Who wouldn't want to go on a mission?! Who wouldn't want to serve Heavenly Father with all their heart for 18 months?

Me.

You and my sister who turned 21 a few months ago.

Don't get me wrong, if I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to go on a mission, my papers would already be in my bishop's hand. But I'm just not sure that this is the right thing for me.

I was that person. I used to want to go on a mission. Then I got a boyfriend and a good rhythm in life and things were going well, and I didn't want to go anymore. (I should clarify that I thought that things were going well for me, but in retrospect, I know that I was floundering.) I had a good friend who was on a mission, and she was very enthusiastic about it. She wrote me bubbly letters full of life and love and energy, infused with her personality so much that I could almost hear her voice as I read them. One day I received a letter from her, in the middle of which she burst out, "Wingnut, how about you just forget about [John] and go serve a mission!!" I smiled at her enthusiasm, and set the letter aside. Later my mom and dad asked me how my friend was doing, and I gave them her letter to read. My mom took note of the suggestion that I serve a mission, and told me I should really think and pray about it. I knew she wasn't going to let it go anytime soon, so that night I decided to do what she wanted. I was going to pray about going on a mission. I was only going to do it once, and deliberately without real intent, so that I had a lesser likelihood of getting an answer, but I could still tell my mom I'd prayed about it. Well, I'm pretty sure that Heavenly Father knew my intentions, because I did receive an answer to my prayer that night, even before the words were completely out of my mouth. I was supposed to serve. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. But my answer was overwhelming, and I knew that I was supposed to serve a mission. So I started the process, much to my own chagrin. Long story short(er), I had a medical delay and ended up not entering the MTC until a little over a year after that initial prayer. By that time, I had received the desire I wanted. Until then, I had wanted to want to serve. I had a desire to have a desire. Does that make sense? Once I knew what I was supposed to do, I started praying for the desire to actually do it, which I knew would make me a more effective missionary. It came, but it took several months. In the meantime though, I didn't sit and wait around for it...I worked and prepared like I already wanted it.

He has given me everything I need to succeed in this role, including the animals He has given me to care for. They are a part of me. I see my life rolling out in front of me. Everything that I've looked for for so long is finally here. He has placed it right in my hands.

And now I am supposed to give it all up. I don't understand how this could be the right thing for me. I feel like I am supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, and yet something won't let me be at ease when I say no to a mission.

You are not "supposed" to give it all up. Young women are not required to serve missions. Heck, young men aren't technically required to either. Young women are encouraged to serve if they have the ability and desire to do so. You sound like you don't really have the desire, and based on your medical issues below, you may not have the ability, either.

Leaving my life for such a long period of time seems impossible. The greatest of these challenges would be finding a place for my horse while I am gone. She is everything to me. She is my whole life and I love her more than anything. She has some health issues that need caring for, and I just don't know how I could find someone who is competent and knowledgeable enough to care for her. And even my other animals would have to find temporary new homes. And school, and my family.

Well, it's not a sacrifice if it's not hard, or if it doesn't require us to give something up. But it's from sacrifice that we receive some of the greatest blessings that Heavenly Father has to offer us.

And...for the past three years I've been dealing with an off-and-on sickness that robs me of my energy and stamina and causes many disturbing muscular and neurological symptoms. And now comes the news that it could possibly be Multiple Sclerosis. Now I am faced with coming to grips with a progressive neurological disease that could rob me of my life. I run 5-9 miles a day (when I'm not sick), I ride my horses...I am a very active and independent person and I take great interest in my physical health. And now I could lose that.

I could lose everything. If I lose the use of my hands, or even just my coordination, then I lose my career as a veterinary surgeon. If I lose the strength in my lower legs, then I lose my ability to run and my ability to practice large animal medicine, and even my ability to ride and be around my horses independently. I could also lose my cognition and everything else that makes me independent. I could lose everything.

In light of this recent (possible) diagnosis, it sounds like you might not be able to serve a mission any way. In recent years, the Church has created more stringent guidelines regarding the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health of would-be missionaries. You may find that a local mini-mission or local service mission is the only mission door open to you. I would talk with your bishop about it. Tell him that you aren't sure you even want to serve, but with your medical issues would it even be a possibility?

So I am left to find answers, yet I don't know where to look. I'm feeling a little lost again

I realize that a lot of what I've said might sound conflicting, but I'm just trying to give you some things to think about as you try to find answers.

[beefche]

I'm confused. Is the only reason why you think you should serve a mission is because you're 21 years old? As a woman, you are under no obligation to serve. If you do not feel that God is asking you to serve a full time mission, then there is no need to feel guilty that you don't serve one. It is no one's business but yours and God's.

[Vort]

Ditto Beefche's comment. Men hold the Priesthood, and part of their Priesthood duty is to serve a full-time mission unless they are specifically released from the obligation for that service. As a woman, you are under no such obligation. Why worry about it?

Now, if you feel that God is calling you to missionary service, that's different. For your own benefit in life, you must follow God's will at all times. But that doesn't sound like the case here.

As for health challenges, my advice is don't worry about that, either. You're healthy and can do what you want to do. If you develop vertigo, you will learn to live with it. If your fine motor coordination develops some impairments, you will learn to compensate. Google "Kyle Maynard" if you want to see what grit and determination can allow you to overcome.

Keep on with your studies, work hard, and enjoy your life. Don't waste time fretting about the details that are either outside your control or unimportant (or both).