??????????

[Winnie G]

OK I need your 2 cents worth.

I have a good relationship with my son-in-law who has permanent custody of two of my granddaughters. We have them for long spaces of time when he needs help parenting at times some times up to 2.5 months.

my daughter and I have a weak shaky relationship coursed by many mistakes in her life and her refusal to see that the man she is with right miss treated one of my granddaughters in the worst way. we lock horns more then ever.

I want her to know the door is always open for her and she might be home by how but for a Judge gave her boyfriend a court order not allowing her to remove the other two granddaughters from the city they live in. Trapping my daughter in the same city with no family for her to go to, so she went back to him. We live six and half hours way.

Any how I have been told by my daughter that she is serving my son-in-law with new visitation right court papers on Wednesday (unsupervised) and asked not to tell my son-in -law,

He called tonight telling me my daughter asked if he would be home Wednesday?

he asked me flat out if I know what this is about he was nervous it was something that would start the court case back up again.

I skirted around the call the best I could .

Should I call him back?

I depend on him and our relationship to see my granddaughters but at the same time she is my daughter?

HELP?

[pam]

Regardless of whether she is your daughter...what is best for those kids?

[Winnie G]

not unsupervised visits that's for sure,

[pam]

I think he has the right to know he might be served with papers. Especially since he custody. Don't ruin the relationship you have with your son in law. The kids need to know that at least they have that kind of a bond between all of you.

[Wingnut]

I'm with Pam. Your daughter sounds like a self-destructive person, and agreeing to keep this information from her children's father is only enabling that behavior in her.

[NeuroTypical]

the man she is with right miss treated one of my granddaughters in the worst way.

...

she went back to him.

...

my daughter [...] is serving my son-in-law with new visitation right court papers on Wednesday (unsupervised) and asked not to tell my son-in -law

...

she is my daughter

It's a rough situation to be in, but the answer is quite clear. Your daughter is a grown woman, making her own choices about her life, tragic and horrible though they may be. You and your son-in-law are the first line of defense against a known child predator. Let me say that again: You, Winnie, are the person who must protect innocent children from a child predator. It isn't the cop's job, or the court's job - it is your job. Cops and courts are your tools in this battle against some of the worst evil Satan has us visit upon each other.

Help the man who is being their father. Be strong. Your grandkids are depending on you.

LM

(hey mods - since we have a 'thank' and a 'laugh' button, can we have a 'cry with' button too?)

[ryanh]

Good point LM - your post cuts right to the core of the issue.

It was unfair of your daughter to tell you something and ask you to keep it a secret. God does not work in secrecy and darkness. Anyone that tries to put me in that position doesn't gain my favor. If it were me, I would ignore her request. Why did she tell you something that has to be kept a secret? If she didn't want him to know, why would she tell anyone?

I think the son in law deserves a heads-up to be able to brace himself emotionally.

Also, I'm a little confused. There are 4 granddaughters. 2 are obviously by your son in law. Are all 4? Why on earth would the judge allow a motion by the bf to restrict the kids to the city they are in unless they were his kids, and your daughter was threatening to take them away from him? Very unfortunate circumstances.

[Winnie G]

Two granddaughters are from their marriage the other two are from this man she lives with we never see them, their part of the whole power trip and control of our daughter.

she left him when our granddaughter told on him, he cleaned out the house and left her sleeping on the floor with a court order stopping her from leaving the city and coming home.

[Just_A_Guy]

Winnie, have you seen the order preventing your daughter from taking the kids from the city?

I've practiced a bit of family law. My experience is that once the judge decides to award a parent custody of a child, the judge will allow that parent to live wherever the parent needs to live to support him/herself, regardless of how far away that may be from the non-custodial parent.

This is a snap judgment, but if forced to make a call my guess would be that your daughter doesn't want to come home and she's using this "the order says I have to stay" nonsense as cover.

Your son-in-law needs a lawyer. If he can't afford one, there's nothing stopping you from reimbursing him for his legal fees. If you believe your grandkids are truly in danger, then your daughter needs to be stopped.

Edited June 23, 2009 by Just_A_Guy

[applepansy]

Sometimes we have to protect our children from their own stupidity.

[Seanette]

(hey mods - since we have a 'thank' and a 'laugh' button, can we have a 'cry with' button too?)

A 'hug' button would be good, too, I think.

[Winnie G]

I called my son in law and told him the news, I asked him to not say anything to keep the lines open for my daughter to come home.

[talisyn]

You did the right thing.

[Winnie G]

She never showed up the #@%&*# she lives with would not take her because she would be seeing her ex, talk about a being wired wrong.

She did how ever agree to visit the girls with a neighbor willing to be there during the visit. what a soap opera!

[talisyn]

I'm sorry, Winnie. Sometimes it takes a little longer for people to grow up than you'd think.

[applepansy]

Winnie, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Its so very hard to watch our children make such terrible mistakes, especially when they hurt innocent bystanders (children especially).

You're in my thoughts and prayers

applepansy