avatar4321 Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Been praying whether i should marry my fiancee. I do love her but Ive been really uneasy about it all. I was praying before we got engaged, but i didnt really feel like I got an answer so i acted in faith. Now im even more unclear. I thought acting in faith would atleast make it clearer. Im more confused now than ever. I feel like somethings not right, but then i dont feel right about breaking her heart and ending it either. Neither feels like the right decision. Im starting to get very frustrated. Because its not like I havent had prayers answered before. I've been fasting and praying alot this week. I just need to know for sure or I am going to make a decision I'll regret forever. Im just not sure what to do at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laureltree Posted July 9, 2009 Report Share Posted July 9, 2009 Avatar, I truly understand your situation and hope you find the answer you are looking for.Have you taken it to the temple ? If so and you are still confused...talk to her. I think its only fair you share your feelings with her. Sometimes when we date many things hold us back..fear...bad relationships, or the in ability to feel like we can provide....and even the simple I just dont feel its right....Whatever it is..dont leave her hanging thinking you are going to ask...when your not sure...be honest and up front. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruthiechan Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Do you have a date set? If so, it could be that you are getting married at the wrong time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avatar4321 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 I can't take it to the Temple. There isnt one close enough to do that. Id love to. But I cant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Is there anything wrong with her? Or you? If not, then don't wait for a miracle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generally_Me Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 How old are you both? Maybe one of you just isn't mature enough. My brother is going through this right now, his girlfriend whom he'd like to marry is 18 and has never lived away from home. He's a returned missionary, and knows about budgeting. She is scared to marry and move on without trying it on her own first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jameslentz Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 i think you should fast and pray. i will also tell you how i view making decisions with Heavenly Father. you need to reason it out completely, look at all the sides, take as much into consideration, do as much investigation as possible...then make your decision. once you have made your decision, THEN take it to Heavenly Father and tell Him you have made a prayerful decision and ask for His confirmation of your decision. I find that works really well, plus Heavenly Father likes to help but He likes to see us do as much as possible. good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest missingsomething Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Look up or ask people what the scriptures and prophets have said about a "stupor of thought". You maybe getting your answer and not responding. I dont know how far away the temple is for you - but this is truly an ETERNAL question and one that is serious enough to make a sacrifice for. Without the temple - I agree w/ James -fast and pray. But above all - DO NOT MARRY until you feel and receive your peace. (in my humble, my life is a mess opinion). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 I agree with missingsomething. DO NOT MARRY until you are sure. You can always put the marriage date off to take some pressure off the situation and take your time. It doesn't mean you can't resume moving forward and get married. However, once you get married, going back is a HUGE ordeal. I would strongly suggest waiting until you are sure. If you have doubts now, when difficulties come (as they surely will) in marriage, you will already be in a disadvantaged position. Marriage is not to be entered into for pity sake. I commend you for not wanting to hurt your fiancée, but your choice about whom to marry is about YOU, not HER. Don’t go through with it just to avoid pain. That is a path to greater pain. I think that those of us that are in or have been in difficult marriages could help out more if you were to let us know a little bit more about why you feel uneasy. We could help you sort out whether it's just the standard feelings of not being ready for marriage (nobody is truly ready anyway), or if there are some warning signs that we wish we had seen when in your position. Feel free to send me a PM if you don't want to air that stuff publically, and I'd be glad to see if I can help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted July 10, 2009 Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 (edited) i will also tell you how i view making decisions with Heavenly Father. you need to reason it out completely, look at all the sides, take as much into consideration, do as much investigation as possible...then make your decision. once you have made your decision, THEN take it to Heavenly Father and tell Him you have made a prayerful decision and ask for His confirmation of your decision.I agree. HF want's us to study it out in our minds, and not simply ask Him without any additional effort on our part.HOWEVER . . .I've learned from painful experience that we need to make a marriage decision without getting our own desires too involved. Sometimes we can receive an affirmative answer that matches our desire, simply because HF is ok with us following our own desire, not because it is His will or what is best for us. Case in point - the lost manuscript pages. Edited July 10, 2009 by ryanh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avatar4321 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 I agree. HF want's us to study it out in our minds, and not simply ask Him without any additional effort on our part.HOWEVER . . .I've learned from painful experience that we need to make a marriage decision without getting our own desires too involved. Sometimes we can receive an affirmative answer that matches our desire, simply because HF is ok with us following our own desire, not because it is His will or what is best for us. Case in point - the lost manuscript pages. Thats exactly why I want to be careful. I don't want to make a decision based on my emotions wanting something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laureltree Posted July 21, 2009 Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 I can tell you this...If you are feeling its not right there is a reason..no matter what the reason is....put it on hold. Pray, fast, and listen to your feelings...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 21, 2009 Report Share Posted July 21, 2009 Just don't confuse "stupor of thought" for "fear". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laureltree Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Very true Just_A_Guy...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 What led you to proposing to her in the first place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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