By way of introduction...

[GaySaint]

Happy Holidays everyone.

I debated whether or not to join, because I’m not sure how I will be received here. I’m an excommunicated member of the church, and a homosexual who has been in a committed relationship for over two years. I’m joining in response to a few posts I’ve seen where questions have been asked (specifically, my heart broke while reading a plea from a father with a 17 year old son who came out to him recently), but went unanswered.

As someone who still firmly believes in the church, and has been through the process of LDS counseling for homosexuality, change therapy, and knows what it is like to be a gay Mormon (including dating women, being celibate, and finally dating men), I hope to be able to provide perspective and insight into what gay Mormon men go through – including, perhaps, giving advice to those struggling with this issue who may wish to remain faithful to the church (which is what I assume I will find most of on this forum).

I hope to also share some things I’ve learned while serving a mission and struggling to understand my purpose and how I could possibly fit in with the church (something gay youth will particularly struggle with).

I just want to be a resource for those who desire to have one. I have many friends in the church, including a publicist who was heavily involved with Prop 8, and currently meet with a group of GLBT/LDS people where conversations are had that build bridges, love, compassion, sympathy, and understanding – which are virtues I think sometimes are missing from people on both sides of this divisive issue.

[Bini]

Hello and welcome :]

[Honor]

I think you will bring a valuable perspective to the site, and I'm impressed that your approach is one of understanding and love when so often the emotions around the issue of homosexuality are anything but (from both "sides"). Welcome!

[NeuroTypical]

Site rule #1: 1. Do not post, upload, or otherwise submit anything to the site that is derogatory towards The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, its teachers, or its leaders. Anti-LDS Propaganda will not be tolerated anywhere.

If you can avoid running afoul of that rule, you'll probably be very welcome here. Heavens knows that there are a ton of Mormons that have a learning curve to come down, just to be able to be on the same message board with a gay person without having the heebie-jeebies.

Welcome!

LM

[GaySaint]

Thanks everyone :)

Loud: Shouldn't be a problem. And if having me here on a forum gives people the heebie-jeebies, I can only imagine what they must feel knowing I very well could be that guy that sits next to them during sacrament meeting .

I'll promise to not allow the fact that I gain a small amount of happiness in watching such people squirm to color my posts superfluously.

[NeuroTypical]

I'll promise to not allow the fact that I gain a small amount of happiness in watching such people squirm to color my posts superfluously.

Excellent survival tactic. It's served us well as we shop around at various secular and faith-based homeschool cooperatives.

[Relentless]

I will admit I feel a little heebie jeebied. I am curious to know what you think about homosexuality being genetic or not. I have my own ideas, but seeing as how I don't have any "gay" friends, all I can do is speculate.

[WmLee]

Gay ~ As far as I am concerned you are more than welcome here. Having family members who have struggled through what I’m sure you have, could be a great benefit to those who chose to develop an understanding of your position. I laughed as I read Loudmouth’s response and pictured one of the always faithful, blue hairs from the congregation wrinkling her brow and shaking her finger as she reminds you of the “site rules” (let ‘em in the door but keep ‘em in their place).

[GaySaint]

WmLee - haha. Loudmouth does seem to have a sense of humor though :) Thank you for the welcome.

Relentless: I'm an open book - feel free to ask whatever you'd like. I answered your question (sort of) here (most recent post for now)

But if you don't want to read it, I can answer you simply: I don't know. I think it is a mashup of genetics, hormones, development in the womb, and environment (probably). However it happens, I do believe it happens before the age of accountability (I have personal experience that attests to that), and therefore cannot come from Satan directly. I have also received testimony that this is a core characteristic (as spoken of in the Oaks interview), and that makes me thing God has something more to do with it than members of the church are currently willing to understand (but going down that path might not be the best thing to do at the moment - I'd hate to be banned... haha. But if you want to PM me, I'd be more than willing to have some respectful dialog).

[Hemidakota]

It really doesn't...what gives me the jeebies is going to the temple and noting more of those of the dead than the living in the House of the Lord. :)

Welcome to the forum...

[Maya]

Welcome.

My personal wiev of gays and stuff is that I dont understand WHY. Only thing I can think is that it is some kind of a mailfunction in the delivery... I mean there are real gay people born in wrong badyse. BUT the problem is that if these gays get loud so sudedenly there are a mount of them... and of this mount really only 1/5 th really are born gays. Many grow wrong because of some traumaes in their childhood/youth, taraumaes that are difficult to cure. The thing that worryes me most are the "gays" that really do not need to be gays. And they with their slipety tongue get usual kids and youth to be like them. All too may today believe they are gay who really are not. As for God I believe every person is equally important and dear to him, but we all have got our stonesledges to pull. Anyway at the present God has not revealed to us any reason or any other way to think of the gays than what is in the scriptures, that is: Gods loves all of his children, but marriage is strictly between a man and a woman, and you shal have no sexual relationships outside marrriage.

So officially:

Welcome to LDS.net. You will find here an ecclectic mix of LDS and some non-members. While the site is dedicated to the Gospel, and to promoting the Church to a world that often does not understand us, we also make room for conversations about current events, and about social and cultural practices within the Church. If your main desire is to learn about the Church, consider starting with the "Learn About Mormonism" forums. For more advanced teachings, that will often include a variety of perspectives, some non-LDS, consider the Gospel section of forums.

While you are welcome to all main sections, be aware this site makes room for a variety of opinions and personalities. Some posters can be passionate about their views, and occasionally more so about them than about the souls of visitors. If you find something particularly offensive, feel free to make a report by clicking the appropriate tab.

[GaySaint]

Hi Maya! Thanks for the welcome. I think if any of us understood WHY, we would have the answer to one of the biggest mysteries to date :).

[AnneSheWas]

I was once sitting in a cinema with my two best friends, both who were male. We are all covenant children and one had served his mission while the other was preparing.

Before the film even started we had launched into a very heated discussion about GLTB issues.

I argued that ATTRACTION and IMMORAL behavior was completely different .

Attraction to the same sex

a) DOES NOT MEAN they have sex on their mind

b) does not make it a sin.

I've had many close lesbian, homosexual and bi-sexual friends over the years. I've found that usually there's a historical factor, psychological point of view or pure curiosity.

I think what's hit home with me though is, at a young age they've felt misplaced or unloved and they don't care who loves them as long as they're faithful and can see beauty in them. I think preference, in my experience, doesn't come into play until more interaction with the fascination/impulse/deep feeling is explored.

I'm going to add though that while I've tried to be a faithful friend, I do find that the more time I spend with them the more curious I may be myself but that's the point isn't it. Any kind of sexual sin, is SIN. So I try not to dwell on that and remind myself that sometimes personally, I confused love or lust with gratitude.

It's a complicated and fine line. I think you're very brave to join the forums! And I think it's important to realise we are all fighting the same battle, sexual purity is our biggest opponent on earth right now.