Unsent Letters

[Wingnut]

Dear person in front of me on the 35 MPH speed limit road,

Why are you driving 23 miles per hour?

Sincerely,

The gas pedal's the one on the right

[Dravin]

Dear person in front of me on the 35 MPH speed limit road,

Why are you driving 23 miles per hour?

Sincerely,

The gas pedal's the one on the right

Bah, try 10 in the 65mph zone.

If my car was equipped with a James Bond style rocket launcher my soul would have been in peril.

[Dravin]

Oh right, a letter.

Dear Brother,

You habit of using the panini press to make grilled cheese is fine, I do it myself. However you insistence on putting so much cheese between and on top of the bread (yes, you read that correctly) that the grease literally pools in between the grooves on the bottom heating plate annoys me on a visceral level. Your habit of not cleaning up after these escapades makes me want to force you to lick your mess up... while the panini press is still turned on.

Luckily even while easily annoyed I have self control.

[Just_A_Guy]

Dear prospective bankruptcy client:

You are about to be legally allowed to walk away from over a hundred thousand dollars in debt. Please don't gripe to me about having to surrender three thousand dollars in stock certificates to the bankruptcy trustee.

Thank you.

[Mahone]

Dear cheeky jerk who tried to rob my phone today. I half regret not letting you. By the time you realized the phone was inaccessible to you, I'd have the exact GPS coordinates of your house (or wherever you were hiding with my phone), and you'd soon be getting a knock on the front door by the police and myself. I've been meaning to give the remote GPS tracking a soak test for a while now.

[Dravin]

Dear Eagle Mountain and Saratoga Springs commuters,

It's a round about not a four way stop. You yield to traffic already in the circle, this does not mean you need to stop before entering the circle if you can do so without interrupting the flow of traffic in the circle. Nor are people in the circle the ones who are to yield to so you, yes you, waiting to get into the circle do not give me dirty looks because I did not slow down so you had an opening or even stop in the circle to let you in like some other dingbats do.

Yes it was poor planning that put a roundabout just up the street from a rail line that you cannot see from the circle because it is hidden by trees. Yes you weren't paying attention and entered the circle and now cannot exit on the street you want as it is full of unmoving cars. For the love of all that is holy do not park in the circle waiting for traffic to move, you are blocking traffic in the other direction as now there is a half circle of cars filling the circle (because apparently there is a Roundabouts confuse me club that travels in packs). Pick another street, exit at it and do a U-turn then wait patiently for the train to pass and traffic to resume once again, then enter the circle and exit at your original intended direction.

It isn't that complicated, it's a roundabout or a traffic circle if you prefer, not a Rubik's cube on steroids that is the brainchild of Rubik, Prof Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes and Cthulhu.

[Maureen]

(Are we allowed to write nice letters? )

Dear man you saw my purse in the shopping cart after I drove away without it,

Thanks so much for handing in my purse to Customer Service at Sobeys. Thanks also for calling my house to let me know that it was safe. I typically don't take my purse into the store, usually just my wallet that I put in my pocket. So my typical 'wallet brain' was in full gear as opposed to 'guard my purse' brain. Those few minutes that it took me to race back to the store seemed forever, as I repeatedly called myself 'idiot'. I will pay better attention all the other times I go out in public.

Sincerely,

From the lady who lost her mind for a few minutes

[Wingnut]

(Are we allowed to write nice letters? )

Yes, but they're not nearly as much fun. :)

[Just_A_Guy]

Dear Eagle Mountain and Saratoga Springs commuters . . .

Dear Eagle Mountain city planners . . .

Do you realize that every single roundabout in your town looks exactly the same, and that once someone has waded into the geographical morass that is your fair city it's almost impossible to get back out? Please put up some more visible signs or something, so that I can figure out where the heck I am. (Even a "this way back to Route 73" sign would suffice).

I understand that the real estate market is tough right now, but I'm not going to buy a house in your town just because I can't figure out how to leave.

Edited April 27, 2010 by Just_A_Guy

[RipplecutBuddha]

Dear American Motorist,

Some pointers about driving around/with semi trucks, or big rigs if you like.

The driver's position in a big truck is intended, among other things, to place the driver above accidents involving smaller vehicles. As a result, most accidents involving personal vehicles and semis see the semi driver survive easily while the private driver could be dead instantly. Keep this in mind for the next few minutes as you read....

-Tailgate me all you like. Even if you hit me while I'm stopped, chances are I'll be out of the hospital within hours of admittance. You, on the other hand, won't fare as well.

-If you're going to pass me, then do it and get it overwith. Most semis can't go faster than 65 anyway, so why pass me at 65.3 mph? When you're in my blind spot (which is large enough to hide a tour bus) I can't see you and thus I may not know you're even there.

-On the subject of blind spots, the one on the right side of my rig is large enough to hide another semi...chances are even greater I can't see you.

-When I use a turn signal, it is not intended to indicate my desire that you suddenly 'get underneath me' in order to block my move.

-In ideal conditions I need 100 yards to bring my rig to a full stop in an emergency. It is rare that I will be driving in ideal conditions. Think seriously about this the next time you think it's wise to cut me off at less than your vehicle length just so you can make the exit ramp you could have easily gotten to by staying behind me. I had a friend get crushed between two semis in a Chrysler minivan. It was less than six feet long after impact, and she did not survive the life flight to the hospital.

-Just in general understand that my rig weighs up to 25 times what your car weighs. It's not a porsche, and it doesn't do anything quickly. It doesn't accelerate, brake, or turn quickly, so don't expect it to. I'm on a schedule, so I'm already going as quickly as I can and still be safe on the road with you.

I could go on, but I hope you get the point. I met the driver that killed my friend, and even though it was not at all his fault, he could not return to the driver's seat...of any vehicle...for several months. We professional drivers take the need for safety very seriously, and those of us who don't are more rare every day. Companies don't want bad drivers, they're a liability and once I get labelled as a bad driver, getting a driving job is even more difficult, as it should be.

On the other hand there are, in every town in this great nation, private drivers with multiple DUI's, maybe a hit-and-run, no insurance on the car, or even a suspended license. If I take the wrong over-the-counter cold medicine I could loose my job.

Truck drivers are one of the few professionals who must share their work space with the public at large. When you're on the road ususally you're on the way to work, on the way home, or maybe even on vacation. We're on the job, so don't yell at me to 'Get a job' right after you commit six moving violations in one boneheaded maneuver just so you can sit at the next red light a block ahead.

Don't throw all of your safety into our hands...we cannot drive for you. We have a job to do, and when you're on the highway, you become part of our world. We'll do the best we can, but we have our limits. Don't push them. It could cost you everything.

Sincerely

The Trucker that delivered everything you own to the store you bought it from.

Edited April 27, 2010 by RipplecutBuddha

[Dravin]

most accidents involving personal vehicles and semis see the semi driver survive easily while the private driver could be dead instantly.

Physics does like its Semi drivers.

Edited April 27, 2010 by Dravin

[Mahone]

Dear Microsoft (and many other software providers),

You setting English (US) as the default language for your operating systems (and many applications) may be convenient for those who reside in the USA, but for those of us who do not want to use English (US) as the selected language, it's a real pain. If, when it's installed, someone accidently forgets to change the language from its default setting and puts this into production, it's not always easy to reverse all the little settings it makes on almost everything that computer is used for in the mean time. It's unfortunately not always as simple as changing the language setting to the appropriate option after all this has happened.

To sysadmins in the USA, you don't realise how easy you have it

[Just_A_Guy]

Dear Brits:

If you could just learn to spell "center" and "color" and "theater" correctly, we wouldn't have to ship Windows with two different versions of English.

[Mahone]

Dear Brits:

If you could just learn to spell "center" and "color" and "theater" correctly, we wouldn't have to ship Windows with two different versions of English.

I wish those were the only issues. If anyone has a pound symbol in their password, they get very confused when it doesn't work

[mnn727]

Dear Ward members

When I leave a message on your answering machine/voicemail please have the courtesy to call me back.

I am just trying to do my calling.

Edited May 15, 2010 by mnn727

[mnn727]

It's a round about not a four way stop..

Dear Department of Transportation. Whose bright idea was it to start using roundabouts in this country? They are not only confusing, they are dangerous. First time I saw one I went around it 3 times before I could figure out what the heck was going on. It is not easier, it does not make traffic flow smoother, you can't see around it especially when you plant trees and bushes in the middle. People have to try to merge into rotating traffic all of which is trying desperatly to figure out where to exit, and if they happen to live near one and use it daily they then have contempt for all the people that may see them only a few times in their lifetime.

Send the roundabouts back to Europe and give us back our 4 way stops.

[Mahone]

Dear Department of Transportation. Whose bright idea was it to start using roundabouts in this country? They are not only confusing, they are dangerous. First time I saw one I went around it 3 times before I could figure out what the heck was going on. It is not easier, it does not make traffic flow smoother, you can't see around it especially when you plant trees and bushes in the middle. People have to try to merge into rotating traffic all of which is trying desperatly to figure out where to exit, and if they happen to live near one and use it daily they then have contempt for all the people that may see them only a few times in their lifetime.

Send the roundabouts back to Europe and give us back our 4 way stops.

It is amusing watching the American missionaries try and navigate their way around them for the first time though

[pam]

Dear Department of Transportation. Whose bright idea was it to start using roundabouts in this country? They are not only confusing, they are dangerous. First time I saw one I went around it 3 times before I could figure out what the heck was going on. It is not easier, it does not make traffic flow smoother, you can't see around it especially when you plant trees and bushes in the middle. People have to try to merge into rotating traffic all of which is trying desperatly to figure out where to exit, and if they happen to live near one and use it daily they then have contempt for all the people that may see them only a few times in their lifetime.

Send the roundabouts back to Europe and give us back our 4 way stops.

I have to agree with this. Especially when you see one put at a busy intersection where there is also a skate park and lots of kids.

[Just_A_Guy]

I don't mind roundabouts as long as each street coming out of the roundabout is clearly labeled.

In my (limited) experience, this is rarely the case.

[Wingnut]

I don't mind roundabouts as long as each street coming out of the roundabout is clearly labeled.

In my (limited) experience, this is rarely the case.

Funny -- in my (limited) experience, I've seen just the opposite. I've never had a problem with roads not being marked coming off a roundabout. My problem is intersections not being labeled.

[mormonwifey]

RIPPLECUTBIDDHA,You are just sooo right.My hubby and I have drove semi long haul for 13 1/2 years until recently when we came off the road.The motorists think we can stop on a dime,and so much more.Then they want to blame us for accisdents,when 9 out of 10 times they are at fault,not us.

My own mother used to do this dumb stuff until I taught her better by taking her in the truck with us for about a month.Now she totally respects the trucks.

[dazed-and-confused]

confession.....i didn't even know that i was part of this thread.

i have to say....i agree TOTALLY with MORMONWIFEY.

i drove professionally for a while and never realized what an a.., excuse me....jerk, i was was to truckers until i became one.

what's the old saying....don't judge until you've walked a mile in the other man's mocosins?

[lifeisarock]

Been dazzed and confused for so long it's not true! I come here to enjoy myself with mormon types and I see so many of you complaining just like the rest of the world! I thought we were supposed to live in the world but not be of the world. Don't know where you're goin' with this, only know just where you've been. Take it easy baby, let them say what they will. We don't have to follow--we can take a different stairway to heaven! O.K. O.K.!! I'll shut up!

[Moksha]

Dear Utah Planning Commissions,

Seems you guys have forgotten that allowing structures to be built on mountain sides results in many of these structures to being subject to flash flood damage and mudslides.

Please pay attention to warnings from your civil engineers and geologists. They go to school to learn about these things. Make use of what they have learned.

Sincerely,

Someone who watches all this

bad planning on the nightly news

[Guest xforeverxmetalx]

confession.....i didn't even know that i was part of this thread.

i have to say....i agree TOTALLY with MORMONWIFEY.

i drove professionally for a while and never realized what an a.., excuse me....jerk, i was was to truckers until i became one.

what's the old saying....don't judge until you've walked a mile in the other man's mocosins?

Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in the other man's shoes. Because that way when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Anyway.

Dear A Sniper,

As reliable as Wikipedia is, I don't really appreciate you changing an article to scare the world into thinking that Ronnie James Dio is dead. We all love Dio, and your prank was just a bit over the top. We wish you wouldn't do that again. Have a nice day.