No eating out for missionaries?

[Dravin]

most of the time it will depend on the area......the Area Presidency has alot of say as to what happens in the area they are over...

And of course the Mission President.

[Moksha]

I think I can understand this. First you take the missionaries out for dinner and then next you have a craving for the missionaries themselves and soon it is Dahmerville.

Remember this: Whatever you do, don't feed the missionaries after midnight!

[Blackmarch]

So i'm kind of in a conundrum here. I take the missionaries out to eat a lot, usually like Pizza Hut or something. I enjoy their company, and I like learning from them and helping feed them. I can't cook for crap, so buying them fast food is really the only way I can "feed the missionaries". Besides, even if I could cook I could not have them in my house. As of right now, my husband is still not living with me so i'm not able to have them inside my home.

I totally understand that rule, which is why i've stuck to public places for meeting the missionaries. 3/4 times i've got a non-LDS friend with me so it's not like we are just shooting the breeze and wasting the missionaries time. This has actually worked out well because we've had two new converts and like five investigators that started out as friends of mine

just coming along to these dinners.

Recently though, an older member of the branch told me that this was not allowed. Taking the missionaries out to eat that is. She said it was fine to have them in your home, but you weren't supposed to take them out to eat.

I've never heard this before, ever. I'll certainly abide by it if that's the rule, although i'll be really disappointed considering all the good it's done so far. Anyone else ever hear about that?

I don't seem to recall that being a rule in itself... altho such an activity would be restricted to prep day.... It might be a mission specific rule that the mission president has put in place, ideally he'd be the one to ask (and you can get his number from the missionaries i'm pretty sure they'd be really happy to give you it ^.^)

[Blackmarch]

I think I can understand this. First you take the missionaries out for dinner and then next you have a craving for the missionaries themselves and soon it is Dahmerville.

Remember this: Whatever you do, don't feed the missionaries after midnight!

ROFL true that.

[Maureen]

Exactly. In fact, many of the rules that they now have would not be in place if all the missionaries just acted like responsible adults. I'm just glad that we could still hit the Sauna when I was missionary in Finland. Now the rules prohibit it. Something to do with a greenie prank...

Vanhin

Vanhin, how long ago was your mission? A poster on a different forum mentioned that he also visited the Saunas when he was a missionary in Finland back in the early '60's. They were also allowed to go see movies back then.

M.

[WillowTheWhisp]

It really must depend on the area. In the last area I lived, the missionaries told us that they couldn't accept an invitation to a members home for dinner unless there was someone there they could teach or at least make contact with. The ward I was in no longer passed around the "feed the missionary monthly schedule" like they had in the past due to this. So we got around it by taking meals to them that they could eat if they didn't have a dinner appointment.

We had that here for a while too and the answer was to give them tins of stuff they could cook for themselves. It doesn't really help the missioanries to feel part of the Ward though. I'm glad it has changed now.

One problem we do still have though is they are supposed to come at 5pm and stay no longer than an hour but my OH doesn't get home from work until 5:30!

[rameumptom]

Each mission president determines the rules for his mission. Check with your bishop and ward mission leader on what the rules are. As it is, the missionaries know the rules, and it seems there isn't a problem, or they wouldn't be going to fast food places like this.

Some members think they know the rules, when in reality, they do not. And the rules can change from mission president to mission president.

My first mission president didn't allow any music at all. My second one allowed spiritual/uplifting music. Both were right things to do in their own time.

[ryanh]

While I never had any such direction given to me in any of the three missions (and five mission presidents) I served in, in each, the guidance was very clear - Two elders should not be meeting with two females. No matter the purpose, circumstances, etc, it was a no-no. Appearances of a date to bystanders was to be avoided as much as any other potential problems.

The advice was to allways keep odd numbers in such a situation such as eating out.

[RachelleDrew]

So the Elders spoke with their mission president about it, and it was cleared up. Apparently, that was the rule in the neighboring stake in which this woman used to be a member of, but it is not in ours.

Our mission president has no qualms with me taking the missionaries out to eat, so long as it's done in a public setting. He also wants the dinners that are used as missionary tools (i.e. me bringing nonmember friends) to be the norm. In other words, he doesn't want me to be taking the missionaries out to eat all the time "just because". He said that's fine on the occasion, but typically he would want me to have a job for them to do in the form of witnessing to my non-member friends.

Thanks for all the responses.

[Iggy]

Rachelle,

When I was separated from hubby#1 and living on my own, I could have the sister missionaries over with just me- but - my work hours just didn't work out. So, I made them meals in vacuumed sealed bags that they could use for lunch. They nuked them either at home (which was three houses down from me) or at the church.

Then when we got the men missionaries, and I moved to a larger house, I was in quite a pickle. I really wanted to feed them, plus I had a woman neighbor who wanted the lessons. The mission president kept upping the number of women per missionaries, then said we single women had to have a priesthood holder to dinner too. WHAT?? So I ended up inviting a married couple to dinner. Me, married couple, missionaries and the single woman who was investigating the church.

Worked out great!! When the married couple wanted to feed the missionaries, they used my house. They lived 17 miles from church, and the missionaries never had the gas to get there. I loved it. It never bothered me to have another woman use my kitchen- especially when her husband and the missionaries cleaned up the dishes!!! Yes, the missionaries have always washed the dinner dishes. They insisted, and believe you me, I was not turning them down.

Another thing I always did, was when everyone got there, I invited the men to remove their suit jackets. I have a coat tree with wooden hangers just for that purpose. Then I always have large cloth napkins so that the elders white shirts don't get soiled. I place the napkin tucked into my blouse-and invite everyone else to follow suit .

[Carl62]

Wow, I can't believe how strict things are getting with missionaries these days! When I was on my mission ('82), we were allowed to teach single women without there being a male present in the house. I guess that's out nowadays. Heck, I even baptized one single lady and her daughter. No questions, no problems. When I first began investing the church when I was 16, it was 2 sister missionaries who came over to my house while by myself and taught me the discussions and even dropped by occasionally just to say 'hi'. They even drove me to church a few times. Again, no problems or questions from it. It's a completely different day and age I guess.

[Blackmarch]

Wow, I can't believe how strict things are getting with missionaries these days! When I was on my mission ('82), we were allowed to teach single women without there being a male present in the house. I guess that's out nowadays. Heck, I even baptized one single lady and her daughter. No questions, no problems. When I first began investing the church when I was 16, it was 2 sister missionaries who came over to my house while by myself and taught me the discussions and even dropped by occasionally just to say 'hi'. They even drove me to church a few times. Again, no problems or questions from it. It's a completely different day and age I guess.

signs of the times.

But yes completely different day and age.

[Vanhin]

Yep. When I was a young man (18-19), a couple of sets of sister missionaries helped bring me back from inactivity, to whom I am eternally (as in forever and ever) grateful. I eventually started going out teaching with them and giving them rides to places. I helped the sisters with transfers by driving a long distance to drop one of them off and pick up the replacement. Different times for sure. I love those sisters.

Regards,

Vanhin

[Moksha]

Then when we got the men missionaries, and I moved to a larger house, I was in quite a pickle. I really wanted to feed them, plus I had a woman neighbor who wanted the lessons. The mission president kept upping the number of women per missionaries, then said we single women had to have a priesthood holder to dinner too. WHAT??

Yes, dinner parties go awry without a Man there to supervise everything from the correct silverware placement and napkin management to waiting for everybody to thank him for being a Man and allowing the womenfolk to be in his presence before he goes home.

[HEthePrimate]

I think that older member is making up rules. It's perfectly all right to take the missionaries out to eat, as far as I know. At least it was when I was a missionary, though that was many moons ago...

HEP

[funkenheimer]

This can vary based on the mission president. I would trust the missionaries to know what is allowed and what isn't. This may not have been allowed while this gentleman was serving his mission, or in another location, or sometime in the past, but that doesn't mean it isn't allowed now where you are located.