repentance question

[anzcmz]

My husband is currently repenting for not obeying the Law of Chastity. I am a convert and we have only been married for 7 months--everything that happened occurred before we were married and before I converted. One of my main concerns is that he also has a problem with alcohol use and drug use, and am worried that he may get excommunicated for not being completely upfront and repenting for everything. He says that once the repentance for sex outside of marriage is finished, he will tell the Bishop that he needs to repent for everything else. Should he be repenting for everything, or am I just being silly? Again, I'm new to this--only been in the church for about 10 months.

[MarginOfError]

I"m afraid no one here can answer your question. That's something for your priesthood leaders to address. Some may think that it should all be addressed at once, and others may think that addressing one at a time will be more productive. A wise priesthood leader will decide which of the two extremes (or where in between) will be more effective for your husband. But that's a decision that should be made with the guidance of the Spirit.

In any case, my recommendation would be that your husband be upfront about his transgressions even if he isn't ready to repent of them fully just yet.

Oh, and keep this in mind. Excommunication does not have to be a punishment. Sometimes, it can be an important part of enabling the repentance process.

[Hemidakota]

Everything now and do not hold anything back...also, he needs help and support. If there is an addiction with drugs, it will not be easy for him to conquor alone.

If he truly repents, all will be wiped away as if it never happened.

[WmLee]

Oh sister ~ I think the problem is a little deeper than it seems! If your husband is repentant and wants to clean his act up, why does he hold things back? Is there a pattern here he likes to follow or just admitting to his weakness a little at a time?

You didn’t explain, and you don’t have to, but if you and he were part of what he is repenting for, I have trouble understanding why he doesn’t want to start new with you. The drugs and alcohol are probably a part of the other things that he is repenting for; why didn’t he get it all out at once? Excommunication is something that happens to the most grievous of transgressions. He seems to think he is the only one who ever made a mistake.

What disappoints me the most is that he would let you, a new convert, think it’s okay to only tell part of the truth when he’s dealing with his salvation.

Good luck.

[dizzysmiles]

I would just repent of everything, get it all out in the open. I once had to swallow my pride and let It ALL out not just one thing at atime.

[dizzysmiles]

p.s normally excommunication comes when the person is not repentant and will not change, he may have some church disapline but the bishop is there to help, not to chastise. Good luck

[tubaloth]

One of my main concerns is that he also has a problem with alcohol use and drug use, and am worried that he may get excommunicated for not being completely upfront and repenting for everything.

Is he still doing Alcohol and Drugs while he is repenting of other things? That isn't what repentance is! Repetance is a desire to change from the worldly/sinfully way to the ways of God. If your Husband really wants to repent, he should want to repent of it all! He should want to get back into good standing, not only with the church, but with his Heavenly Father. Does he think Heavenly Father would be okay with him keeping this a secret from the Bishop?

Should he be repenting for everything, or am I just being silly?

I don't know if its more sad that your husband doesn't notice this, or if its good that you notice this (being a convert). There is nothing silly about this, you realized something was wrong! Your husband should realize this too, if anything him trying to "hide" a sin is way more silly!

[blackestate]

Everything on the table. Then work through it with the bishop, IF he really wants to change, do not leave a chain taht will drag him back into the old life.

[Baycitygirl]

I should repent of everything now. I just went through some repentance steps and that is the one thing the bishop asked everytime we met, "is there anything else you need to repent of". He really should tell him now, especially if the bishop has asked him if there was anything else, if he says no then he has lied to the bishop which is even worse. Besides why prolong the repentance process, get it all done and over with at once. My prayers are with you, your husband and your bishop.

[Faded]

Kinda depends on whether he's letting everyone assume that he's 100% clean and good other than the chastity problems. I've known members who struggled with smoking and drinking who were very active and some even received minor callings. But they were up front and honest about their struggles, and they were actively working to overcome them.

But no he's not going to be excommunicated for it. That's for bigger things. If he proceeded to publish literature publicly attacking the Church for their stance on smoking and drinking, then he'd be moving in the right direction for it.

But the advice is sound. Holding things back just cripples the whole repentance process.

[mrmarklin]

My husband is currently repenting for not obeying the Law of Chastity. I am a convert and we have only been married for 7 months--everything that happened occurred before we were married and before I converted. One of my main concerns is that he also has a problem with alcohol use and drug use, and am worried that he may get excommunicated for not being completely upfront and repenting for everything. He says that once the repentance for sex outside of marriage is finished, he will tell the Bishop that he needs to repent for everything else. Should he be repenting for everything, or am I just being silly? Again, I'm new to this--only been in the church for about 10 months.

It would save a lot of time to do concurrent repenting!!!!