Where do I start? Feeling overwhelmed!

[InquisitiveSoul]

I've been sitting down and trying to plan. There are so many responsibilities and so many duties I feel I should work on.

I look at the Gospel and look at some members I've become friends with over the past couple of months. These people study everything you can imagine, scriptures, talks, you name it they have the book.

I find myself disengaged at work as I'm thinking about various principles and teachings in the church. I've definetly lost my balance in life and am trying to find it again. Where do you start? How much studying is right? I know the answer is different for everyone, but I'm curious how you measure it.

I've met some people at church who seem rather extreme in the Gospel views, as if those of us who don't have time to go to every activity and take notes in church aren't going to make it!

It's not just fitting church into my life, it's fitting everything in and trying to balance. Any suggestions how to go about it? I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and for the first time since High School, completely unorganized and unprepared.

[not_ashamed]

I have often felt much the same way, scripture study is important and it brings us closer to the spirit and can help us in our daily life. In my opinion though the most important thing is actually living gospel standards. Which can be just as hard. I think feeling the spirit when we study means more than how much time we spend doing it. Does 3 hours of studying scripture really benefit you if most of that time was spent thinking of other things you should be doing? Put scriptures in places that you get stuck in with nothing to do. Such as the back of your toilet. What better reading material? lol... we have a set on the back of ours. keep a Book of Mormon in your car for when you are waiting for someone. Read them on your lunch break.

Most importantly and I am learning this the hard way, do not base your salvation on comparing yourself to what others accomplish. I too have felt that what I do doesn't measure up compared to others. Then I remember Heavenly father isn't comparing me. Good luck

Edited May 17, 2010 by not_ashamed

[addicthelp]

I hear where you're coming from. Running a business, school, 4 kids, church calling, etc etc...

Life can definitely feel out of balance at times. There are a couple things I do every day that help me stay balanced in the chaos.

First thing is I always read my scriptures, even if for just 5-10 minutes. This seems to be the biggest help of anything in providing structure and a boost.

Second, I do a simple 2 minute plan each morning. There are times I simply don't do something because it is not a high enough priority. I am a huge believer that steadiness and consistency always wins the race. Not running faster than we have strength but being consistent.

Mosiah 4:27 and D&C 10:4... Word Search: Run Faster

There was an acquaintance of mine I looked up to who always seemed to do everything right and from an outside appearance always accomplished so much. I found out a week ago that their marriage was struggling and this person was on the brink of physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion. I thought to myself, "WOW! The grass is NOT always greener."

[LDSVALLEY]

As a child there is a song from a Christmas show that I have always loved.

Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking cross the floor.

Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking out the door.

The first round it is sung very slowly. 'just.........put.......one.....(etc).

The person very slowly and carefully puts one foot down then the other etc.

The second round is sung at normal speed and the person is walking normal.

The point to the song is we never get anywhere if we don't do something. And the second is we don't start off on anything running. We have to stand, know which direction we want to go, see how others are doing it, carefully begin to move forward, the more we practice the easier it becomes and the faster we can travel, the more automatic it becomes.

The church can seem overwhelming if you try and do all things at once. Simply do one or two things, attend church regularly and spend 10 minutes after church reading scripture for example. As you become used to that add in other things. You will also find that activities that you are trying to fit church things around may become less important as you grow in the gospel and you free up time from them to devote to God.

Don't compare yourself to others. Don't worry about others who might compare yourself to them. Don't worry about what others are doing. Set a plan of what you will do but don't do more then you are able or ready to do at this step. We learn step by step, lesson upon lesson, scripture study upon scripture study, activity upon activity, service upon service.

I've been a member for the last 1/3 of my life and I am still learning and growing, still having to put one foot in front of the other. Some things are now automatic others I can run, others walk, others I am still slow and wobbly, and some I've yet to stand up to attempt.

But I have walked further down the road then when I first started.

Just take one small step at a time.

[HiJolly]

I am convinced that God deliberately gave us a life in which there is ALWAYS too much to do, not enough time in the day by a matter of dozens of hours.

It seems undeniable that a primary purpose of life is prioritization. We are told that we live in the world. And we do. May we all be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. Then maybe we can find joy.

HiJolly

[pam]

I have heard even General Authorities say to spend 15 minutes a day reading and studying the scriptures. There is so much to learn we will never learn all of it. How does the saying go? Line upon line and precept upon precept. You don't have to learn it all NOW. Just steps at a time.

[Dove]

I would suggest praying about this, and then doing what feels right for you..... Regardless of what other people are doing, you are the commander of your own ship. Try not to get sidetracked by the "arm of flesh," other people judging you by their standards....not yours, or even G-d's.....

I really like what was said earlier, that consistency is what wins the race. I used to read scriptures an hour a day, and that felt right for me. Now, it's maybe 5 or 10 minutes a day that works, just so I do a little every day.

Funny, I remember admitting to some "friends" that I had put my T.V. away, and no longer watched it. I remember them looking at each other as if I was crazy, basically rolling their eyes and judging me for it. I suppose we will all be judged by others over something/anything. What matters most is what you do, your integrity, and that you live according to what brings you peace; also, following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.....

No one likes to be judged, so I'm trying not do judge others, either....

[Dove]

I would suggest praying about this, and then doing what feels right for you..... Regardless of what other people are doing, you are the commander of your own ship. Try not to get sidetracked by the "arm of flesh," other people judging you by their standards....not yours, or even G-d's.....

I really like what was said earlier, that consistency is what wins the race. I used to read scriptures an hour a day, and that felt right for me. Now, it's maybe 5 or 10 minutes a day that works, just so I do a little every day.

Funny, I remember admitting to some "friends" that I had put my T.V. away, and no longer watched it. I remember them looking at each other as if I was crazy, basically rolling their eyes and judging me for it. I suppose we will all be judged by others over something/anything. What matters most is what you do, your integrity, and that you live according to what brings you peace; also, following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.....

No one likes to be judged, so I'm trying not to judge others, either....

[mrmarklin]

I've been sitting down and trying to plan. There are so many responsibilities and so many duties I feel I should work on.

I look at the Gospel and look at some members I've become friends with over the past couple of months. These people study everything you can imagine, scriptures, talks, you name it they have the book.

I find myself disengaged at work as I'm thinking about various principles and teachings in the church. I've definetly lost my balance in life and am trying to find it again. Where do you start? How much studying is right? I know the answer is different for everyone, but I'm curious how you measure it.

I've met some people at church who seem rather extreme in the Gospel views, as if those of us who don't have time to go to every activity and take notes in church aren't going to make it!

It's not just fitting church into my life, it's fitting everything in and trying to balance. Any suggestions how to go about it? I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and for the first time since High School, completely unorganized and unprepared.

An apple is eaten one bite at a time. You cannot do everything, so you must prioritize yourself. Taking care of your family is #1 so going to work and doing a good job should be a very high priority. Scripture reading is a good activity, and as you can see many people give it some time every day. I'm personally an inveterate reader, but don't always read scripture all the time.

Going to meetings can be important, but remember the Church is a support group to a large extent. Take advantage of it. Going to the meetings can reinforce your testimony, and keep you in touch with like minded people who also want to obey the Lord. But remember going to meetings isn't the reason We're Mormons, although some people would like to think so. Only ONE meeting is required, and that's Sacrament meeting so we can renew our covenants. All the other meetings are instructional in essence. I don't go to every activitiy and that's certainly no sin or even necessary.. I knew a brother who volunteered for everything so that he didn't have to help his wife with their many children because those tasks were distasteful to him. Do you think he got any blessings as a result?? Yet he was seen by the outside church members as "selfless".

So don't be concerned about what others are doing, or "seeing".

Each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we need to build upon them. The Church has many outlets for our interests, and we're all different. So don't think you have to do everything. In our complex society we are allowed to "specialize".

[tizzyk]

Everyone feels overwhelmed at times. I have learned to not worry about what I can't do, but always strive to do the best I can in everything. That is all the Lord requires...for you to do your best, and he'll take care of the rest. That was a hard lesson for me to learn because I too was driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I could do everything. (I literally got panic attacks because I was so stressed out). But really, just each day do your best, and always strive to do right.

Now...please do not be discouraged by what other people do. Everyone has trails and everyone has problems, NO ONE IS PERFECT. So....the people who judge others because they feel they are doing better than them, or doing more than them...they are not as saintly as they believe themselves to be. Judge not lest ye be judged. SO...try not to compare because even if others seem like they are perfect...they aren't because it is impossible to be. God will judge us by our actions alone not by others actions or by others standards.

As far as scripture reading goes...try to read something each day...even if it's just a few verses, every little bit counts. But if you can do more, than do more. Like I said, do the best you can, and always strive to do better. And pray always. Form a close relationship with the Lord and he will guide you to what He wants you to do. It will become easier to be balanced as you gain a relationship with Him. He will bless you for your efforts and eventually it'll become easier to prioritize and know what is most important in a day.

. Chances are you are doing just fine. Don't worry about "not making it" because you can't do everything all the time...or because you can't make every church activity and doing everything precisely right. Just do the best you can. The Lord loves you and He knows your heart...you will be judged in the last days accordingly.

[firehotemily]

Just start with 5-10 minutes a day and work up to reading 5-10 minutes each morning and each night.

then improve from there.

Add in other books and readings when you thing you've got a habit of reading your scriptures first.

(it takes about 21 day or something to create a habit)

so good luck!

[FairChild]

When everything overwhelmed me, I took a sheet of paper and wrote down my goals. I drew a square box next to each to-do item. When I had started on a project, I colored in half the box (in a triangle fashion just cause I like that shape) and when I finished it, colored the whole square in. That way, if I had finished just a few of my list, I could actually get a better feel of my productivity. Turned out I did a lot more work that I thought I had. I felt as if I did more (which I actually had done) which encouraged me to do even more. Some of the things that I do every day, I put into a smooth plastic sheet protector and used a dry eraser on it to mark on it what what I had done using my box, then erase and use again when I needed it.

It also helps when you write a to-do list if you break larger jobs into the several steps that it will actually take to finish it.

I wish you good luck.

Don't quit. It will get better as your skills and resources increase. FC

P.S. I need to thank one of the Relief Society Sisters for showing me this. She worked in a very busy office and it helped her greatly.

Edited June 7, 2010 by FairChild
needed to give thanks for the person that showed me this method

[Guest mirancs8]

I can completely relate to what you are saying. Being a new member and looking at everyone else in my Ward is just overwhelming. But then I keep reminding myself that though from the outside they seem so pulled together they aren't always that way. Once I start talking to people I realized they are just as overwhelmed maybe more so.

I read the Book of Mormon one chapter at night and one chapter before I head out to work. The Ensign I keep on my formal living room table and read after work for about 20 minutes or less. I'll do some internet reading (or other reading) at various times. During my lunch break for about 10 or 15 minutes I focus on D&C and Pearl of Great Price.

It works for me. You have to find your own pace. I just try to fit it in when I can. It's not always easy to do and there are days you might not be able to do as much as others and that's OK.

Hang in there and don't get discouraged. Good luck to you.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I think the reason we sometimes feel overwhelmed is because we don't have priorities. It's easy to feel in control when you recognize certain things just aren't important and won't get done if there is not time.

Some thoughts:

1. Realize you can't do everything.

2. Read Stephen R. Covey's book on time management called First Things First. It'll help you decide where to put your time.

3. Consider building your own mission statement to help you prioritize what's important in life. His site below will help you create one.

Personal Mission Statement Examples | Mission Statement Builder | FranklinCovey

When you have so much to do you feel overwhelmed, you run everything against the mission statement -- those things that are consistent with the mission statement, you do. Those things that are not important fall to your "maybe, maybe never" list....

Edited June 7, 2010 by mormonmusic