Twisted_Fairytales Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 (edited) Im really in a desperate situation I just don't know what to do My DH has had his wages cut and work is not as regular as it was. I am pregnant and on maternty leave till next yr so I cant earn anything. Due to these citrcumstances we have fallen behind with our rent and bills and are struggling. Then DH had a car crash and wrote off the car so we had to borrow money from his Mum to buy a cheap new one which has turned out to be a nightmare, it hasnt been in working order for a full week since we bought it. This has meant my husband has lost work as he couldnt get in, so we have no money to fix all the latest problems with the car. Its like a spiralling out of control problem and we dont know what to do. We just made an agreement with our landlord to pay extra every month to pay off the arrears and I know we wont be able to do it, and he said if we cant he'll have to evict us. Due to this we havent been paying tithing either. We tried to pay some, but when we went to the Bishop to ask for help he said we wern't paying enough to get any help. I guess I am feling very cheated as this pregnancy was an IVF pregnancy and we have wanted this for so long. When we got the approval for the IVF we both prayed to make sure it was the right time to have a child. We've been married a few years and wanted to be ready. We both felt it was the right time, and we trusted in the Lord and I feel we've been let down as now we are on the verge of being homeless with a baby, its not fair to it being stable all this time, and when we finally get our longed for child we wont have a home for it Every time I pray for help, something else goes wrong. I feel I should stop praying now as everytime I do it makes it worse, I cant risk any more things happening. We feel we have come to the end of the road, we dont have enough money, cant get anymore , have debts and bills spiralling out of control and a baby on the way. Just dont know what to do please help Edited July 1, 2010 by Twisted_Fairytales Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Im really in a desperate situation I just don't know what to do My DH has had his wages cut and work is not as regular as it was.I am pregnant and on maternty leave till next yr so I cant earn anything. Due to these citrcumstances we have fallen behind with our rent and bills and are struggling.Then DH had a car crash and wrote off the car so we had to borrow money from his Mum to buy a cheap new one which has turned out to be a nightmare, it hasnt been in working order for a full week since we bought it. This has meant my husband has lost work as he couldnt get in, so we have no money to fix all the latest problems with the car. Its like a spiralling out of control problem and we dont know what to do.Due to having no money we havent been paying tithing either. We tried to pay some, but when we went to the Bishop to ask for help he said we wern't paying enough to get any help.I guess I am feling very cheated as this pregnancy was an IVF pregnancy and we have wanted this for so long. When we got the approval for the IVF we both prayed to make sure it was the right time to have a child. We've been married a few years and wanted to be ready. We both felt it was the right time, and we trusted in the Lord and I feel we've been let down as now we are on the verge of being homeless with a baby, its not fair to it being stable all this time, and when we finally get our longed for child we wont have a home for it Every time I pray for help, something else goes wrong. I feel I should stop praying now as everytime I do it makes it worse, I cant risk any more things happening.We feel we have come to the end of the road, we dont have enough money, cant get anymore , have debts and bills spiralling out of control.Just dont know what to do please help Go to your stake president. No Bishop will ever say 'You aren't paying enough tithing. We won't help you'.The simple fact is that if you tithe or not, the onus is on you. Helping you is on your bishop. Just talk to your SP and you'll be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarnished Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 I agree with Funky, go to your Stake President, the Bishop should be helping you whether or not you are paying tithing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Only thing I could add that Funky already stated, ensure both your Visiting Teachers and Home Teachers are aware of the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted July 1, 2010 Report Share Posted July 1, 2010 Living in Australia, there should also be some assistance you can receive from the government. Check into it. And of course, the place we should first go to, but usually don't: family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisted_Fairytales Posted July 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 We're not entitled to any assistance I've already checked it out. So, are you sure we can ask the Stake President for help? Im worrying myself sick about this. We WANT to pay tithing and I understand we should be to get help. But at this point in time it would leave us potentially homeless. Thanks for your suggestion though, I wouldn't have thought to see President, I would have felt bad bypassing the Bishop, and still do in a way. But we are in a desperate situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 (edited) If you made the debt go away, could you keep up on your current bills and living expenses? If so, it might be time to talk to a bankruptcy/insolvency attorney (I presume the Aussie legal system recognizes some form of bankruptcy). Edited July 3, 2010 by Just_A_Guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mirancs8 Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 How terrible to hear what you are going through. You are not alone as their are so many that are in such horrible situations. I completely agree with Funky advising going to the stake president. I'm a little surprised at the Bishop to be honest. Also you are not paying tithing because you have no money coming in there's just no way. It's not like you are doing it intentionally so don't you beat yourself up regarding that. You are in a very serious situation. I would like to echo what Hemi said too about making sure your home and visiting teachers know what your situation is. Mine always know what's going on and it's been a number of times my Bishop grabbed me in the hall to pull me aside to be sure I was OK. The more they know the more they can help you when you need the help. I will pray for you and please do go to your stake president. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy_do46 Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 And know in your condition you do not need to be so worried. Stop it. Know your Father in Heaven loves you and has set up ways for you to get help. Pray to your Heavenly Father and then listen. Take comfort in the Spirit and know some of the panic you are feeling is hormons. There will be a way. I will say a prayer for you twisted_fairytales. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 i agree with the going to the stake pres. something to keep in mind... when you are pregnant or have a new baby you feel very vulnerable, out of control, and anxious. i think they are feelings we have to keep mother and baby safe. you will find yourself focused on worst case scenarios and all the dangers around you. note them, talk with your husband about them but remember your instincts are making those things the only things in the world and they are not. let hubby try to balance them with another perspective instead of letting them take over. try to make decisions rationally not emotionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisted_Fairytales Posted July 3, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 Thank you so much everyone :) Well we have decided to see the Bishop today and see if we can work out a plan. If he is not helpful, we will go to the stake pres. Its true I dont need the stress. I was up half the night worrying. Then when i did get to sleep I kept dreaming I was bleeding and losing the baby It is getting to me. We sat down today and worked out what we need to get by and what we will need to get us straight. Problem is, I know our car wont last and then what? My DH wont be able to work and we'll be in trouble again. This is the problem, we are ok if NOTHING goes wrong, but it always does, especially at the moment. I can see some light at the end of the tunnel though, thank you for your kind words and advice it really helps. Plus I saw that video on youtube Motherhood:an eternal partership with God and it was like it was talking to me, I just hope those promises come true!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemidakota Posted July 3, 2010 Report Share Posted July 3, 2010 There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, but I cannot see why your Bishop cannot help you. GOod luck and keep us inform on the outcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy12 Posted July 4, 2010 Report Share Posted July 4, 2010 how did the meeting with the bishop go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonMama Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 We WANT to pay tithing and I understand we should be to get help. But at this point in time it would leave us potentially homeless.We have had to choose between paying tithing and paying our mortgage on occasion, and when we chose tithing the church took care of our mortgage. This is an option your bishop should have offered to you.I'll say a prayer for you guys. Please let us know how your meeting went. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisted_Fairytales Posted July 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 He wasn't there! Guess we'll have to try next Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy12 Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 I'd call him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MormonMama Posted July 5, 2010 Report Share Posted July 5, 2010 Agreed. Call and set up an appointment. Tell him it's urgent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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