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Posted

Seriously? You think this would be an occasion that would warrant hiring someone from an escort service? Wow

No, I don't believe in escort services. They present a lie. But if I was going to use one it would be at a Saturday night stake conference. Iv'e heard good talks at the two Iv'e been to but also have felt very uncomfortable at one of them.

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Posted

Sorry, but there's something seriously wrong with someone who would consider hiring a girl from an escort service to go to stake conference.

I'm going to try to address this in a serious manner even if I think this whole thing was started in jest...

I think the disconnect here is that an Escort Service has been depicted as "legal prostitution". This is not the case. An escort service does not necessarily have anything to do with anything sexual. Just like black people doesn't necessarily have anything to do with crime and blondes doesn't necessarily have anything to do with dumb. It is how they have been depicted by the media for so long that it became the "common understanding".

So, about the Stake Conference - I don't see how it would be seriously wrong. Although, I doubt anybody would really seriously consider having to hire somebody when there are YSA's in every stake you can go with. It could be a great opportunity for the escort to learn something about Christ which he/she wouldn't otherwise have any experience with.

Posted

Sorry, but there's something seriously wrong with someone who would consider hiring a girl from an escort service to go to stake conference.

Or there's something wrong with the stake conference.

When I went and 99% of the people there are couples (married) and I'm the only single guy there. Ok, there were a few others, but not many. Felt like a cow surrounded by sheep, or a sheep surrounded by cows. In other words - I felt out of place and I didn't like that. If I would use an escort service for a stake conference, which I would not, it would be one of those that goes to functions with you and that's it.

Posted (edited)

So, about the Stake Conference - I don't see how it would be seriously wrong. Although, I doubt anybody would really seriously consider having to hire somebody when there are YSA's in every stake you can go with. It could be a great opportunity for the escort to learn something about Christ which he/she wouldn't otherwise have any experience with.

First, I cannot, simply CANNOT believe this is even a discussion point--escort service for a church function? Really? I think we should be more careful about taking the bait so easily.

We are to be family and fellow Christians. I've been single a very long time in this church. I've felt weird about going to church functions alone. But, once I decided to get over myself and quit being so me-focused, I saw others there who were single or sitting alone. And I saw some from my own ward sitting alone. So, stepping out of myself for a moment and sitting by someone to befriend them helped me to stop feeling so lonely.

It all comes down to attitude and selfishness. Yes, it is difficult to be in a church that focuses on family and marriage. But, what I have found is that once I stop focusing on my singleness, others stop treating me as such. Which begs the question--did they treat me as single or did I perceive that from them?

Edited by beefche
Posted (edited)

It all comes down to attitude and selfishness. Yes, it is difficult to be in a church that focuses on family and marriage. But, what I have found is that once I stop focusing on my singleness, others stop treating me as such. Which begs the question--did they treat me as single or did I perceive that from them?

I think that applies to a lot of titles we apply to ourselves. I think we assume perceptions on other's parts that just aren't called for, just because we put a neon sign over our head doesn't mean everyone else is noticing it. I know when I show up to something like a Stake Conference I don't look at people and think, "Wow, they're single!"

Edited by Dravin
Posted (edited)

First, I cannot, simply CANNOT believe this is even a discussion point--escort service for a church function? Really? I think we should be more careful about taking the bait so easily.

We are to be family and fellow Christians. I've been single a very long time in this church. I've felt weird about going to church functions alone. But, once I decided to get over myself and quit being so me-focused, I saw others there who were single or sitting alone. And I saw some from my own ward sitting alone. So, stepping out of myself for a moment and sitting by someone to befriend them helped me to stop feeling so lonely.

It all comes down to attitude and selfishness. Yes, it is difficult to be in a church that focuses on family and marriage. But, what I have found is that once I stop focusing on my singleness, others stop treating me as such. Which begs the question--did they treat me as single or did I perceive that from them?

I completely agree with you beefche.

What I was trying to point out is that I don't think it is SERIOUSLY wrong to do so. I can see how this could benefit an escort - which is an unselfish act.

When I was an activity coordinator, I used to spend a lot of my personal money to make the activity better - I had a budget of $300 for the YEAR. That's for 6-8 activities for an entire ward. Before I got called to that position, it used to be that we would have a July 4th activity, for instance, and it would be just a flag raising, a potluck breakfast and then we all go home. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but a lot of people did not attend those activities because they were boring. When I held the calling, I spent $200 of my own money to hire 2 ponies and we had a good ole July 4th bike parade with the ponies leading the pack and the kids taking turn riding them. My husband thought I was crazy. I thought to myself, $200 bucks to get people to attend ward activities (a perfect opportunity to fellowship) which could possibly lead to them bringing non-member friends (to have fun), plus the opportunity for the pony business to get to know the people of the LDS church... priceless. Of course, there are those who think I'm an idiot for doing it and I can see how it could be considered wrong.

I see hiring an escort the same way. If it helps the person to attend stake conference more and give the escort an opportunity to know what LDS is all about... it can't be SERIOUSLY wrong although I can see how it could be considered wrong.

Edited by anatess
Posted

I'm going to try to address this in a serious manner even if I think this whole thing was started in jest...

I think the disconnect here is that an Escort Service has been depicted as "legal prostitution". This is not the case. An escort service does not necessarily have anything to do with anything sexual. Just like black people doesn't necessarily have anything to do with crime and blondes doesn't necessarily have anything to do with dumb. It is how they have been depicted by the media for so long that it became the "common understanding".

So, about the Stake Conference - I don't see how it would be seriously wrong. Although, I doubt anybody would really seriously consider having to hire somebody when there are YSA's in every stake you can go with. It could be a great opportunity for the escort to learn something about Christ which he/she wouldn't otherwise have any experience with.

I'm calling bull hockey on this. Sorry, but single people go to stake conference all the time by themselves. There is no one stranding at the door ensuring that you bring a 'date'. Hanging eye-candy on your arm just to soothe your feelings of inadequacy at large church functions is a silly idea. Hoosier needs to decide to quit being so insecure about himself and how he thinks someone else sees him and just be comfortable being the best Hoosierguy he can be without all the fluff of 'appearances' for the sake of others who quite frankly probably don't know him enough to care whether he has a 'date' to stake conference or not. I'm really surprised you don't see this silliness for what it is: jerking our chains to see how much we will go along with.

Posted

Or there's something wrong with the stake conference.

When I went and 99% of the people there are couples (married) and I'm the only single guy there. Ok, there were a few others, but not many. Felt like a cow surrounded by sheep, or a sheep surrounded by cows. In other words - I felt out of place and I didn't like that. If I would use an escort service for a stake conference, which I would not, it would be one of those that goes to functions with you and that's it.

Yeah. Reminds me of the lady who was watching her grandson in the marching band, and she proudly leaned over to her friend and said 'look, everybody's out of step but Johnny'. I'm guessing that it never crossed the minds of those sheep, or cows, or whatever you want to label them that you are single and thus out of place. Most married people honestly don't care if the person sitting next to them is single or not.

Posted

Yeah. Reminds me of the lady who was watching her grandson in the marching band, and she proudly leaned over to her friend and said 'look, everybody's out of step but Johnny'. I'm guessing that it never crossed the minds of those sheep, or cows, or whatever you want to label them that you are single and thus out of place. Most married people honestly don't care if the person sitting next to them is single or not.

I know what I know and I know I would not go to a Saturday night stake conference again alone. I would have to have a wife, girlfriend, or kids at my side (if kids are allowed Saturday night). I didn't like being the only single (or nearly the only single) Saturday night. It's not right.

But the original topic was mens groups like the mankind project. I emailed them a few days ago and got replies from three different people but they haven't flooded my inbox with crazy offers. They have a sneak peak in a few weeks and I'm going to check it out.

Posted

I know what I know and I know I would not go to a Saturday night stake conference again alone. I would have to have a wife, girlfriend, or kids at my side (if kids are allowed Saturday night). I didn't like being the only single (or nearly the only single) Saturday night. It's not right.

But the original topic was mens groups like the mankind project. I emailed them a few days ago and got replies from three different people but they haven't flooded my inbox with crazy offers. They have a sneak peak in a few weeks and I'm going to check it out.

Are you going for the message and the Spirit that comes out of those meetings? I don't know about your Stake Conferences but mine usually fill the chapel and the entire cultural hall. It would difficult for me to determine that I am the only single person there. Seems like that is where the main focus is and not on what can be brought away from the Stake Conference.

Posted (edited)

I'm calling bull hockey on this. Sorry, but single people go to stake conference all the time by themselves. There is no one stranding at the door ensuring that you bring a 'date'. Hanging eye-candy on your arm just to soothe your feelings of inadequacy at large church functions is a silly idea. Hoosier needs to decide to quit being so insecure about himself and how he thinks someone else sees him and just be comfortable being the best Hoosierguy he can be without all the fluff of 'appearances' for the sake of others who quite frankly probably don't know him enough to care whether he has a 'date' to stake conference or not. I'm really surprised you don't see this silliness for what it is: jerking our chains to see how much we will go along with.

Furthermore, I know a lot of married couples (myself and my husband included) that don't attend together because we don't have many youth in the ward who can babysit. So, one of us goes to Saturday night Stake Conference, and the other stays home with our daughter.

Yeah. Reminds me of the lady who was watching her grandson in the marching band, and she proudly leaned over to her friend and said 'look, everybody's out of step but Johnny'. I'm guessing that it never crossed the minds of those sheep, or cows, or whatever you want to label them that you are single and thus out of place. Most married people honestly don't care if the person sitting next to them is single or not.

Or the old lady who calls her husband as he's out running errands. She sees a news report on TV that there's a car driving the wrong way on the freeway, and calls to warn her husband to be careful. He says, "One car? They're all going the wrong way!"

I know what I know and I know I would not go to a Saturday night stake conference again alone. I would have to have a wife, girlfriend, or kids at my side (if kids are allowed Saturday night). I didn't like being the only single (or nearly the only single) Saturday night. It's not right.

So grab a buddy and go. Quit whining. No one is there to pay attention to your relationship status. That's what Facebook is for. Stake Conference (the Saturday night session is the adult session, by the way -- no one under 18 allowed, other than nursing infants) is for spiritual upliftment. It's really too bad you insist on focusing on the wrong things, because the Saturday evening sessions are always the most enriching.

Edited by Wingnut
3 typoes -- that might be a record for me!
Posted

Stake Conference is for spiritual upliftment. It's really too bad you insist on focusing on the wrong things, because the Saturday evening sessions are always the most enriching.

He would not really be alone, besides all the couples, there are other singles with whom he could feel out of place together.

Posted

He would not really be alone, besides all the couples, there are other singles with whom he could feel out of place together.

Not according to him. He states he is the only single person there.

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Posted

Not according to him. He states he is the only single person there.

I didn't say I was the only single person there. There could have been a good number of singles there. But I felt like I was the one of the few singles there and I didn't like that feeling. Ok yes, I need to learn to be happy with myself and accept myself. My therapist and I talked about that during the last session. I'm making progress.

Posted

Oh but you did. It doesn't say you felt like the only single person there.

When I went and 99% of the people there are couples (married) and I'm the only single guy there

Posted

My therapist and I talked about that during the last session. I'm making progress.

Isn't therapy wonderful? Congratulations on the progress. Up, up and away!

:)

Posted

Oh but you did. It doesn't say you felt like the only single person there.

I did say 99% of the people there were couples, not 100%. I should have been more clear in the first statement. I FELT like I was the only single person there. But the point remains, I don't feel like going back to a Saturday night conference alone.

Posted

That's up to you. And it could never be 100% married couples if you as the single person are there. So you could compromise the 1%.

Posted

Meanwhile...back to the topic...I'm wondering what the spiritual foundation of this conference is. Promise Keepers offers similar weekend experiences, and I believe their fees are less than $100. Also, doesn't the church have men's groups that do male-bonding type activities? There's nothing wrong with this conference, but I'm wondering if it will be a mountain top emotional experience with little follow through. Far better to find a small group of spiritual brothers to meet with once and awhile and do stuff together. Having said all that...maybe this camp will spur you on to develop some male friendships.

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